Pineapple Rock, Lemon Platt, Butter Scotch
By
Jazz Great Louis "Satchmo" Armstrong
(Michael Tabor and Toni Wilson)
Lights up! Toni and Michael are standing center stage.
Michael
Toni, are you a superhero?
Toni
Not that I know of. Why?
Michael
HA HA! I think youre a superhero!
Toni
No, Im not! Why do you think that?
Michael
Well, youre mysterious. And also your adamant denial of being a superhero.
Toni
Michael, I am 100% certain I am not a superhero.
Michael
But, what about your super powers?
Toni
I DONT HAVE ANY SUPER POWERS!
Michael
But, but, but-
Knock on door
Michael
Ill get it.
Michael answers door.
DEATH
Hello, I am Death. Is there a (reading from paper) Michael Tabor and a Toni Wilson here?
MICHAEL
Um .just a minute .let me go check .
Michael goes to Toni.
TONI
Whos at the door?
MICHAEL
Hmmm? What? Oh, yeah! Deaths at the door. (realization) OH MY GOD! DEATHS AT THE DOOR!
Enter Death
DEATH
(pointing at Toni) Oh. Its you.
TONI
WHAT?!
DEATH
Prepare to die.
Michael and Toni scream and run out the door. Death follows. Pause. Michael and Toni re-enter.
TONI
Ok, ok, maybe we lost him.
MICHAEL
You need to use your superpowers on him!
TONI
I have no super powers!
Enter Death. Toni runs to other door and tries to open it. Death walks over to Michael.
DEATH
Michael Tabor, I dont like being run from. You cant escape me, Im death! Youre just wasting time.
TONI
The door isnt opening!
MICHAEL
I have some last words.
DEATH
All right.
Michael prepares to give speech and runs away.
MICHAEL
Toni, fight him with your super powers. (slams the door behind him)
DEATH
So. We meet again.
TONI
WHAT?! What are you talking about? Death, stop smoking crack.
DEATH
This time I wont be defeated so easily.
Death stands on a chair and does the crane from Karate Kid. Toni laughs like a superhero. Death and Toni fight. Toni kills death. Michael pokes his head in timidly. Michael enters and walks over.
MICHAEL
You killed him!
TONI
Yes, yes I did.
KNOCK AT DOOR!
TONI AND MICHAEL
Who is it?
BOOGIE MAN
Its the boogie man!
Michael and Toni look scared
BLACKOUT!
"Pineapple Rock, Lemon Platt, Butter Scotch" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
"Pineapple Rock, Lemon Platt, Butter Scotch" debuted February 22, 2002, performed by Michael Tabor, Toni Wilson, Mark Hansen.