copyright © 1998
"BLIND DATE:REVISED" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE
DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE
EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
(Fred Katz {Brad} sits at a table. He looks around impatiently, constantly checking his watch. Lucy {Mark} enters, looks around, crosses to Fred.)
Lucy: Excuse me?
Fred: Yes?
Lucy: Fred Katz?
Fred: Yes, that's me.
Lucy: I'm Lucy Prince. Your date?
Fred: My... But, I don't understand... You're my...
Lucy: You are waiting for a Lucy Prince, aren't you?
Fred: Yes, but-
Lucy: That's me. I'm here.
Fred: You're ... my date?
Lucy: Looks like it, doesn't it? Is there a problem?
Fred: I... I... suppose not.
Lucy: Okay.
(Lucy sits. Fred checks his watch. Waiter enters.)
Waiter: Good evening. May I start you off with something to drink?
Fred: I'll have a double.
Waiter: A double what?
Fred: Whatever.
Waiter: And for the lady?
Lucy: Whatever he's having.
(Waiter exits. Fred checks his watch.)
Lucy: So, Fred, what do you do?
Fred: Um, I... I'm a student.
Lucy: Oh, really? What a coincidence!
Fred: Why, are you a student, too?
Lucy: No.
(Kim enters, sees Lucy.)
Kim: Lucy!
Lucy: Kim? Hey, what a surprise!
Kim: What are you doing here?
Lucy: I'm on a blind date, what are you doing here?
Kim: Peter and I just came from a show.
Lucy: Well, this is Fred Katz; Fred, this is my twin sister Kim.
Fred: Twins?
Kim: That explains the resemblance.
Fred: Sure, yeah.
Kim: Excuse me.
(She exits. Fred checks his watch. Waiter enters with two plastic cups.)
Waiter: Here you are, two double Zimas.
Fred: Uh, thanks.
Lucy: Elegant.
(Peter enters, crosses to Lucy.)
Peter: Come on, Kim, we just got a table.
Lucy: Oh. (Laughs.) I'm not Kim.
Peter: Lucy! How are you?
Lucy: Not bad, Peter. This is Fred Katz; Fred, my brother-in-law, Peter.
Peter: Fred... musician?
Lucy: No, he's a student.
Peter: Oh, really? What a coincidence!
Fred: Why, are you a student, too?
Peter: No.
(Fred checks his watch.)
Lucy: Why do you keep looking at your watch?
Fred: Oh, I'm, I'm in... kind of a hurry.
Lucy: Hurry? What for?
Fred: Uh... these are rented.
Lucy: What, the pants?
Fred: No, the pockets.
Lucy: Huh?
(Kim enters.)
Kim: Peter?
Peter: I thought Lucy was you.
Kim: (Laughs.) You're not the first.
Lucy: Or the last.
(Everyone laughs but Fred, who checks his watch three times.)
Peter: Our table's ready, we should go.
Kim: Nice seeing you again. Nice meeting you, Fred.
Peter: Yes, it was.
Fred: Sure, yeah.
(Kim and Peter exit.)
Lucy: Excuse, I just have to visit the little girl's room.
Fred: Look, I....I, this is just too weird.
Lucy: It is a natural function, Fred.
Fred: No, no, I mean... Look at you!
(Lucy regards herself.)
Lucy: I see. You know, this ensemble cost me upwards of eighty dollars. It's from
Frederick's!
Fred: That's not what I meant.
Lucy: No, no, don't say it. Maybe it's best if I just left.
Fred: (After a pause.) If you think that's best.
Lucy: I do. Goodbye, Fred Katz, whoever you are.
(Lucy exits, Jamie {played by a female} enters. Fred drinks.)
Jamie: Fred?
Fred: Jamie! My God, what are you doing here?
Jamie: I got stood up. What are you doing here?
Fred: Don't ask.
Jamie: Do you mind if I join you?
Fred: Please do.
( She sits. Waiter enters.)
Waiter: May I... Oh, what happened to the young lady?
Fred: She had to leave, family emergency.
Waiter: Is everything all right?
Fred: Perfectly. My brother will be joining me this evening.
(Blackout.)
"Blind Date" debuted 11/6/98. Performed by Brad Smith, Mark Hansen and Steve Ellerhoff
Library]
