"The Carrot Kids: Mystery Solvers Part IV: International House of Mischief"
Written by Paul Rust
Narrator stands center stage.
Narrator: Previously on "The Carrot Kids"…
Scott, Stacey, Chuck, and Laptop (The Carrot Kids) run from the theatre aisles onto stage right.
Scott: We’ll work together to solve mysteries and then print the results in our school newspaper! Readers will love that.
Stacey, Chuck, and Laptop: That’s a great idea/Cool/That’ll work wonderfully (etc.)
Scott: So it’s official! We are now the Carrot Kids: Mystery Solvers! Our first case: The Case of the Missing Lucky Marble!
The four Carrot Kids change positions to suggest a different scene.
Laptop: The annual Pancake Festival is tomorrow night! We go there, we catch the murderer, and find our missing marble!
Narrator: It’s the Carrot Kids: Mystery Solvers! Featuring Laptop… "The Brains!"
Laptop steps forward. "Cars" by Gary Numan plays. Laptop steps back.
Narrator: Chuck… "The Joker!"
Chuck steps forward. "Eat It" by Weird Al Yankovic plays. Chuck steps back.
Narrator: Stacey… "The Voice of Reason!"
Stacey steps forward. No music is played. Discouraged, Stacey steps back.
Narrator: And finally… Scott… "The Leader!"
Scott steps forward. "Anyway You Want It" by Journey plays. Scott steps back.
Narrator: The Carrot Kids!
The Carrot Kids:
Listen up, world,
This’ll flip your lids!
We solve mysteries…
Us, the Carrot Kids!
Narrator: Tonight’s episode… "International House of Mischief!"
LIGHTS DOWN. Everyone exits stage left. LIGHTS UP.
Scott, Stacey, Chuck, and Laptop enter stage left.
Scott: Well, here we are at the annual Pancake Festival. With luck, we’ll find my marble and the murderer in no time. Then I’ll have enough time to go to that Sunglasses and Bomber Jacket Convention.
Laptop (panicked): Did you say… mur-mur-mur-murderer? I gotta’ get out of here!
Laptop exits running scared (starring Billy Crystal and Gregory Hines).
Stacey: What are we going to do? We need Laptop’s intellectual expertise here to help us. And just my luck. This is the one day that I forget to wear my elbow pads from volleyball.
Scott: Don’t worry. I’ve got an idea. (clears throat) Boy, would you look at all these computer printers!
Scott coolly counts on his fingers "1,2,3,4…" in anticipation for Laptop’s return. By "5," Laptop is back, excited at the chance to see computer printers.
Laptop: Where are they?! Where are they?!
Chuck: There’s no printers here, Laptop. You know, I think I know why your favorite computer company is Microsoft. Your brain is micro and your spine is soft.
Everyone laughs.
Stacey: Chuck’s right, Laptop. You need to get some courage, so we can finally solve this mystery. Lord knows I’ve been scared before. For example, last year, the Student Council voted for -
Scott: (interrupting Stacey’s story and thus, hurting her feelings) Now, everybody… split up and keep your eyes out for any suspicious-looking characters. One of them could be the bad guy who stole my lucky marble and murdered that person at the arcade.
Chuck: And since we’re at the Pancake Festival, I’ll also make sure to look for a couple of my friends, too.
Stacey: Who are they?
Chuck: Flap Jack and Aunt Jemima! (rubs hands together in a "Boy, I’m hungry" fashion)
As everyone laughs, they go offstage - except Scott who searches upstage. From stage-right, a suspicious-looking person (i.e. hunched over, mumbling) enters.
Scott (aside): Ladies and gentlemen, I think we’ve found our criminal.
Scott sneaks up behind the person.
Scott: All right, the game is over, dirt-bag. Hand over the marble.
Person turns around and sternly stares at Scott.
Person: That sure is a funny way to talk to the new mayor.
Scott (embarrassed): Uh, sorry, sir. I didn’t mean to disrupt you. How about you go and enjoy the Pancake Festival. But uh, stay away from the blueberry pancakes. I hear they’re awful.
Person: How dare you say that? My wife made those pancakes. And she is a mayor as well.
Scott (more embarrassed): Uh, well, what I meant to say was… the blueberry pancakes are delicious. It’s the boysenberry syrup that tastes awful.
Person: Why do you insult me so? My name is Mayor Boysenberry. Plus, I’m a mayor!
Scott (even more embarrassed – if that’s possible!): Uh, I think I’ll, uh, just go over here before I say anything wrong again.
Person/Mayor Boysenberry exits stage right angrily.
Scott (aside): Oh, nuts. I can’t do anything right. What kind of mystery solver am I?
Offstage Voice: A great one.
Scott (sarcastically): Hardy-har. Great joke, whoever you are. Now, who’s the stand-up comedian?
Offstage Voice enters stage right. It’s Bo Jackson!
Bo Jackson: I did. And I wasn’t joking.
Scott: Bo Jackson! What on earth are you doing here?
Bo Jackson: I came here for the blueberry pancakes and boysenberry syrup, of course!
Humiliated, Scott drops his head and sinks to the floor. Bo Jackson sits down beside Scott to comfort him.
Bo Jackson: Oh, Scott, don’t feel bad.
Scott: How can I not feel bad, Bo Jackson? I can’t solve a mystery for the life of me.
Bo Jackson: Scott, don’t say that. You musn’t give up. You always need to follow your dreams. Heck, if I hadn’t, I would have never become a professional football and baseball player.
Scott: I know. It just seems like I’ll never catch this bad-guy. He’s always just out of reach.
Bo Jackson: I don’t know about that, Scotty. I get the feeling that he’s right under your nose.
Scott looks up excitedly at Bo Jackson who is smiling and nodding.
Scott: You stole my marble, Bo Jackson?
Bo Jackson: That’s right.
Scott: And murdered that person at the arcade?
Bo Jackson: Right again.
Scott: But why?
Bo Jackson: That’s a long story, Scotty, which I will tell later to a U.S. court in detail.
Scott and Bo Jackson hug.
Scott: Stacey! Chuck! Laptop! Get in here! I’ve got great news!
Stacey, Laptop, and Chuck enter running.
Stacey, Laptop, Chuck: What is it?/ What’s going on?/ What?
Scott: We’ve found the thief and murderer! It’s none other than Bo Jackson!
Chuck: Woah! Bo knows crime!
Everyone laughs.
Stacey: Scott, how’d you figure out that it was Bo Jackson?
Scott: Well, uh…
Scott looks at Bo Jackson. Bo Jackson covers for Scott in a way that’s both complimentary to the Carrot Kids and humble.
Bo Jackson: I decided to turn myself in. I knew my time was running short. After all, you Carrot Kids got all it takes to be mystery solvers. There’s Laptop’s cunning genius, Chuck’s zest for life, Stacey’s bold assertiveness, and Scott’s strong leadership. Together, you’re a great team and I knew… it wouldn’t be too long before your skills, talents, and abilities eventually tracked me down. I couldn’t live in fear anymore, so here I am. I tip my hat to you Carrot Kids. You will go far. You will. Go. Far.
Scott: Three cheers for the Carrot Kids!
The Carrot Kids: Hip! Hip! Hooray! (x3)
Laptop: Now it’s time to celebrate our achievements with some rousing board games. Luckily, I brought Win, Lose, or Algebra.
Chuck: No way, Laptop! When we play your Algebra games, Pi is 3.1… bore!
Everyone laughs.
Scott: Chuck’s right. We need to celebrate. But how?
Stacey: I have an idea…
Everyone groans.
Scott: Oh, no. What is it this time?
Stacey: How about… WE PAR-TAY!
Everyone looks at each other surprised and confused.
Stacey: (joyfully) What can I say? I’m one mystery you guys still have to solve!
Everyone cheers as "Anyway You Want It" by Journey kicks in. Everybody dances!
SLOW FADE OUT as people dance.
"The Carrot Kids: Mystery Solvers Part IV: International House of Mischief" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
"The Carrot Kids: Mystery Solvers Part IV: International House of Mischief" debuted November 9, 2001, performed by Paul Rust, Michele Thompson, Boylyssa, Steve Heuertz, Steve Brenneman, Jake Livermore, Arlen Lawson.
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