"The Carrot Kids: Mystery Solvers Part I: The Adventure Begins…" by Paul Rust

Stacey: Chuck, it’s your turn at Clue now.

Chuck: Okay, okay, but first a joke…

Laptop: Oh no, here we go again.

Chuck: Easy there, Laptop, you’ll like this one.

Laptop (taking out a calculator): But your joke-telling to game-playing ratio has been 7 to 1 ever since we started.

Stacey: Just let ‘em tell a joke, Laptop, so we can get going with the game again.

Chuck: Thanks, Stacey. Now, how does a bird with a broken wing fly to the ground?

Stacey: I don’t know, Chuck. How does a bird with a broken wing fly to the ground?

Chuck: With a sparrow-chute!

Stacey: I wonder when Scott’s going to get here.

Scott (coolly): Did I hear somebody mention my name?

Stacey: Where on earth have you been, Scott?

Scott: I had a dentist’s appointment.

Laptop (taking out the calculator): Wait a second. According to my calculations, figuring in distance to and from the dentist’s office, the duration of an average dentist appointment in Northern America, and overall wind resistance, you should have been here approximately… 48 minutes ago! However, your overall time of absence can be attributed to… one visit to the video arcade and approximately five games of Gala-tron!

Scott: Okay, I admit… I stopped at the video arcade. But if it makes you feel better, I got the high score!

Chuck: Yeah, but while you were busting aliens, we were busting our behinds!

Stacey: Chuck’s right, Scott. We’ve been working really hard on the school newspaper while you were gone.

Scott: Oh yeah, real hard. It must have been grueling having to play Clue.

Stacey: We were killing time until you got here, so we could print the newspaper. Everything is done except your Opinion article. So what is your Editorial going to be about this week?

Scott: How bad our school newspaper is!

Laptop: Scott! That’s not very nice. We work really hard on this paper. Maybe even harder then the staff at Omni!

Scott: I know, I know. But what does it matter if no one reads it? We need to revolutionize the school newspaper. Bring it back to the people! We have to do something really cool.

Laptop: Like what?

Scott: That’s the problem. I don’t have a clue.

Chuck: Speaking of Clue, let’s finish our game while Charles Foster Kane over there thinks of an Editorial. That way, we can print this paper and get out of here.

Scott: Oh no! Stacey, come here!

Stacey: What is it, Scott?

Scott: You know how I told you about my lucky marble? The one that inspires me when I write my editorials?

Stacey: Yes.

Scott: I can’t find it. Somebody stole it.

Stacey: Scott, you could be wrong. Maybe you left it at home this morning?

Scott: No, I didn’t. I remember I had it with me at the arcade, so I could get my high score in Gala-tron. Somebody stole it from me at the arcade.

Stacey: Scott, you can’t worry about this right now. You need to finish this paper.

Laptop (from the other side of the stage): Hooray! I correctly solved the mystery!

Scott: That’s it! That’ll solve all our problems! Guys, get over here!

Stacey: What is it, Scott?

Scott: I came up with a way to find out who stole my lucky marble and make our newspaper totally awesome!

Stacey, Chuck, and Laptop: (together) How?

Scott: We’ll work together to solve mysteries and then print the results in our school newspaper! Readers will love that. We’ll kill two birds with one stone!

Stacey, Chuck, and Laptop: That’s a great idea/Cool/That’ll work wonderfully (etc.)

Scott: So it’s official! We are now the Carrot Kids: Mystery Solvers! Our first case: The Case of the Missing Lucky Marble!

Everybody:

Listen up, world,

This’ll flip your lids!

We solve mysteries…

Us, the Carrot Kids!

"The Carrot Kids: Mystery Solvers Part I: The Adventure Begins..." debuted October 19, 2001, performed by Paul Rust, Michele Thompson, Jake Livermore, Steve Heuertz.

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