"The Greatest Form of Entertainment? Your Imagination!" by Paul Rust

"The Greatest Form of Entertainment? Your Imagination!" written by Paul Rust

Three janitors (MITCH, RAY, and DONNY) enter the factory’s break room from STAGE LEFT. If they were The Beatles and had assigned "personalities," MITCH would be "the leader," RAY would be "the guy who wants to be Mitch," and DONNY would be the "weird loner." As they enter, MITCH is talking.

MITCH: So Mr. Carter comes up to me and says, "Did you clean the men’s bathrooms on floor 6, Mitch?" And I say, "Sure did." And he says, "It sure doesn’t look like it." And I say, "Well, I did." And he goes, "Well, you can do it again." And I go, "Sure thing, Slave-driver!"

The three take their seats. MITCH and RAY sit in the seats that are close together while DONNY has to take the seat apart from them.

RAY (in admiration, awe): You said that?

MITCH: Well, I thought it. Well… I thought of it right now anyway.

Beat.

RAY: Just think if you would have said that to him though…

MITCH: Oh, I can just imagine the look on his face. It’d probably be like… (MITCH squints his eyes, sticks out his bottom lip, and softly shakes his head "no.")

RAY: Yeah, that’s what it’d be! Geeze, Mitch, you sure live dangerously. I’d say you’re the biggest risk-taker here at the factory. The biggest risk-taker as far as janitors go at least.

MITCH: Well, if you’re not going to live dangerously, then why live at all, am I right? But hey… let’s quit talking about work. I mean, we’re on break for a reason. Isn’t that right, Ray?

RAY: Yeah, let’s watch some t.v.

RAY pantomimes turning on the t.v. (it’s actually a chair!). MITCH and RAY watch with enthusiasm. Beat.

MITCH (joyously): Yowza! That Judge Judy sure is feisty, ain’t she?!

RAY: She sure is!

MITCH and RAY high-five. DONNY walks over to the group.

DONNY: Justice has been served!

DONNY puts up his hand for a high-five, but MITCH and RAY just stare at him. They think he is quite a loser.

DONNY: Huh?! Huh?! Justice?! Served?! Get it?! Huh?!

MITCH and RAY go back to watching television, ignoring DONNY. For the rest of the time that DONNY talks to himself, MITCH and RAY silently watch television and don’t notice him.

DONNY: Forget you guys. I didn’t want to watch t.v. with you anyway. It’s not even a good form of entertainment. It’s certainly not the best form anyway. And I’m not talking about books or movies either. Nope, the best form of entertainment was the one given to me at birth… my imagination! With my imagination, I can do anything! So, you guys can keep your Judge Judys and Luke Skywalkers. I got my imagination!

For example, when you guys look at this schoolbag, you probably think it’s just a bag, but when I look at it, I see a… jet-pack! Take me to the moon, NASA!

Hmmm, what else can my imagination do? I know! When you guys look at this chair, you’re probably so dull that you think it’s just an ordinary chair. You are so dull! But when I look at it, I see a… a… jet-pack! Take me to the moon, NASA!

What else? I know! This Coke can! When you guys look at this Coke can, you’re probably such dull dummies that you think it’s just an ordinary, crummy Coke can. You are such dull dummies! But when I look at it, I see a… a… a Pepsi can… that can transform into a jet-pack! Take me to the moon, NASA!

So, uh, yeah… I have an imagination… and a jet-pack… so I don’t need any friends… especially you guys.

MITCH: Hey, Donny!

DONNY: What do you want?

MITCH: Come on over here and watch some t.v. with us!

DONNY: I thought you’d never ask!

DONNY pulls up a seat beside them and sits down happily.

BLACKOUT
"The Greatest Form of Entertainment? Your Imagination!" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR

"The Greatest Form of Entertainment? Your Imagination!" debuted April 27, 2001, performed by Paul Rust, Aaron Galbraith, Arlen Lawson.

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