"There is No Reason Why Anyone Should Ever Be Unhappy" by Paul Rust

"There is No Reason Why Anyone Should Ever Be Unhappy" written by Paul Rust

STEVE and MICHELE walk in from stage left. PAUL walks in stage right.

PAUL: Hi, Steve. Hi, Michele.

STEVE and MICHELE just murmur grumpy salutations and keep walking. PAUL goes back to stop STEVE and MICHELE.

PAUL: Excuse me. May I please see your daily planner?

STEVE: What?

PAUL: May I please see your daily planner?

MICHELE: Why? What’s the point of this?

STEVE hands over his daily planner to PAUL who starts flipping through it.

PAUL: Oh, I was just wondering why you guys were so down because your daily planner says nothing about you having an appointment with Dr. Grumpy today.

STEVE and MICHELE make labored groans and keep walking.

PAUL: Hey there! I want you two to sit down.

MICHELE: But we’re too unhappy to sit down.

PAUL: P’shaw! There is no reason why anyone should ever be unhappy. Now please sit down.

STEVE and MICHELE shrug to each other and sit down.

PAUL: Now wait just one second. I got to get something… a surprise.

PAUL walks off stage right, comes back with an acoustic guitar, and sits down in a chair by STEVE and MICHELE.

MICHELE: What’s the meaning of all this?

PAUL: Just wait and you’ll see. Hey, Steve… this guitar sure is pretty, huh?

STEVE: I guess so.

PAUL: But do you know what’s even prettier?

STEVE: What?

PAUL: The songs that come from it. For example, I have one song that I think suits you two. It’s about being unhappy. And it goes a little something… like this… (start playing cheery guitar part and begin to sing)

"If you’re feeling down/I got a plan for you/Take your frown, turn it upside down/And you will feel brand new/You will feel brand new"

As PAUL plays the song, smiles slowly break out on MICHELE and STEVE’s faces. At the end, they applaud happily.

MICHELE: That song was so much fun!

STEVE: I loved it!

PAUL: I thought you would. So now you’re happy, right?

MICHELE: Of course, we are… but…

PAUL: What is it, Michele?

MICHELE: What about the other things in the world that are unhappy?

PAUL: Like what?

STEVE: Like this little grasshopper in my hands. Just listen…

STEVE holds up his cupped hands. PAUL puts his ear to them.

PAUL: Well, I’ll be! It turns out ol’, Mr. Grasshopper is unhappy. He says he doesn’t like it when it rains.

STEVE and MICHELE respond with a mixture of ahhh’s (both cute and sympathetic).

PAUL: Well then, Mr. Grasshopper… here’s a little song for you…

"With every dark cloud/There’s a silver lining/So if it rains, don’t complain/Cuz soon the sun will be shining/Soon the sun will be shining"

After the song, PAUL listens to STEVE’s cupped hands again.

PAUL: He’s clapping with his little grasshopper hands. I think it’s safe to assume that he liked the song, huh?

STEVE and MICHELE cheer. Suddenly, OLD MAN CRUMB-BUM walks in stage left.

OLD MAN CRUMB-BUM: What’s going on here? You’re too loud!

MICHELE: Oh, no. It’s Old Man Crumb Bum. He doesn’t like anything.

PAUL: Never forget the power of song, Michele. Watch this. Now what’s wrong, Old Man Crumb Bum?

OMCB: First off, you guys are too loud. You woke me up from my noon-time nap. Secondly, I got all these lemons to worry about.

STEVE: Lemons?

OMCB: Yeah, some stranger came by and dropped off 14 sacks of lemons at my house. What am I going to do with a bunch of lemons? I have no need for them.

PAUL: Oh, yeah…

"And if life hands you lemons/Just make lemonade/And with love and care/find some friends to share/All the fun that you made/All the fun that you made"

During the song, a smile breaks out on OMCB’s face.

OMCB: Thanks, Paul. And when I’m done making that lemonade, I think I know some friends who I’d like to share it with.

PAUL: Come on over here, Old Man Crumb Bum!

OMCB happily joins the group. After some pats on the back and good cheer, everybody looks out at the audience.

EVERYBODY (waving): Happy Easter!

BLACKOUT "There is No Reason Why Anyone Should Ever Be Unhappy" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR

"There is No Reason Why Anyone Should Ever Be Unhappy" debuted April 13, 2001.

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