Reinvention

by Zachary Robertson

Death enters, smiles, and addresses the audience.

Death: I bring you greetings, my name is Thanatos, but you can call me by my nickname... "Death". It has come to my attention that for the most part you humans are afraid of me. Whenever you refer to me you get the image of something to be feared, a hideous creature mad of nothing more than bone and cold, riding upon a pale horse.

Your Holy Bible, in fact, goes so far as to make me the fourth judgement in the Book of Revelations, a tale of the end of the world. I believe the way it goes is something like: "So I looked, and behold a pale horse. And the name of him who sat on it was Death, and Hades followed with him. And power was given to them over a fourth of the earth, to kill with the sword, with hunger, with death, and by the beasts of the earth."

Shit, I read that and I was afraid of myself. Now, I mean I was looking good that day, but not that good. And wouldn’t you know it, it really set up the way you would all view me for the longest time.

Then came the one thing that really got my ass in gear. The Internal Revenue Service decided that it was going to bolster its image to try and be more "people friendly". With the only other certainty in life suddenly trying to become buddy buddy with the people where did that leave me?

If a sports star wants to improve his image, he does something with kids, you know, like he visits a preschool or a daycare center. When I show up around kids. . .

He shrugs.

I mean, I've been visiting sick kids in hospitals since hospitals were invented. But what does that get me? You all think I am some sort of monster taking your children away from you.

Like I enjoy it. Folks, it is my job. It is what I do. I hope that you can understand that, it isn’t a personal thing I have with any of you, I don’t understand why you all make it so personal against me.

So I decided I had to lighten my image... you know... to show you that Death can be a fun thing to do. You know it could be one of those "Hey! Everyone is doing it!" kind of things. If done right death could be bigger than Pokemon.

But I have no experience with these kind of things. So, I had to set my subordinates to the task of figuring out exactly how I could relate better to those I am about ready to lead to the other side.

He produces a red clown nose from his pocket.

This is the best they could do. You know, I should be amazed that they came up with even this, but I just feel like there could be something... better. But I will be damned if I can figure out what it is.

Now, let me tell you about the first test run of my new image. There was a young boy, Timmy Davids, who was dying of cancer. I walked into his room with my clown nose on and a big smile planted on my face. Death was to be friendly, happy, you know, a good thing.

Timmy looked up at me... and screamed.

He slumps, then begins talking to Timmy in a bad children’s show type of voice. He’s trying way too hard to do something that he cannot.

"Hey Timmy! How are you today? No need to be afraid, I won’t hurt you!"

"But you’re death," Timmy says to me. Can’t argue with logic like that.

"Yes, yes I am... but I am a happy time Death. I am fun!"

"You have a clown nose on," Timmy stated. "My doctor already used that gag."

"Perhaps, then, if your doctor had not wasted time on gags I wouldn’t be here," something in me shot back. You know, I was really trying to be good, to be fun, but this kid was really crashing my mood.

He looked so sad, as if it wasn’t me who was making him sad, but something outside of this encounter. I could understand if he could see past the clown nose, but to look beyond the natural fear of death you all hold... that’s something I couldn’t understand.

So I asked him about it.

Timmy sighed deeply, a feat considering his lungs were ravaged by the cancer, and looked me in the eyes. "I have a story to tell," he said, "but nobody will listen. Every time I try to tell someone my story they tell me not to talk, to save my strength. I think they don’t want to hear it. I remind them of what might happen to them."

I have to admit, the kid had me hooked. He said he wanted his life to be put to words, a book, or even if he was lucky a movie. He laid it all out for me... every last detail from the first memory he had right up until the point he saw me in my clown nose.

Nobody had ever stopped to take the time to listen to this boy tell his story... a story he wanted to be splashed all over the silver screen... but probably didn’t have enough time embedded in it to fill a half hour show.

Nobody listened to him. Except me... and here I was, clown nose and all, giving this kid exactly what he wanted, a death without fear.

Timmy concluded his life story. "And then, I just want it to fade to black, I always liked simple endings."

It was then I knew what I needed to do with my image. Death has always been seen as cold and uncaring, swooping along at random collecting souls wherever he goes. But here, in this hospital room, I learned the most important lesson of all.

Death can be compassionate. Death can listen. Death... can care. In the final moments of your life, when I am all you see, you shouldn’t be afraid. I will be your friend. I will be your guide, and we may even share a laugh...

...without the aid of a clown nose.

To Timmy:

The movie is over my friend, fade to black.

Lights

End

"Reinvention" debuted February 11, 2000 performed by Adam Hahn.

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