GOBO raises a finger as if to say something to the audience walking, from stage left to stage right as THE LIGHTS FADE DOWN SLOWLY. GOBO realizes this, upset, and walks back to where he started as THE LIGHTS SLOWLY GO BACK UP. He begins to play with this concept, walking back and forth, increasingly faster, hopping, skipping, etc. Finally, he stands, stage left, arms crossed, happy with his discovery.

Enter BOOBER from stage right, NO LIGHT TAMPERING, LIGHTS SHOULD NOW BE UP FULL. BOOBER greets GOBO with a smile, wave, handshake. GOBO does likewise. BOOBER gets a funny feeling, then starts to scratch his butt. With each upward scratch, THE LIGHTS FADE AND RISE as before. BOOBER plays with this idea for awhile, smiling in astonishment. GOBO is amazed by this and starts to scratch his own butt, but to his dismay, THE LIGHTS DO NOT CHANGE FOR HIM. He thinks, has a realization, then scratches BOOBER’s butt, and THE LIGHTS CHANGE as before. They are both very pleased with this effect. It then occurs to GOBO to pinch BOOBER’s left nipple, upon which THE LIGHTS BLACKOUT COMPLETELY FOR ONE SECOND. He does this again twice, with the same result. He then tries the right nipple, upon which NOTHING HAPPENS. GOBO is displeased with this, and tries again and again until BOOBER gets upset and slaps his hand away.

Enter WEMBLEY from center, proudly and boisterously. When he leaps onto the stage, THE STAGELIGHTS GO DOWN AND THE HOUSELIGHTS GO UP IMMEDIATELY. WEMBLEY is displeased with this, and leaps back onto the first row as THE HOUSELIGHTS GO DOWN AND STAGELIGHTS GO UP. He proceeds to play with this idea, jumping back and forth, from the stage to the first row. After awhile of this, he goes upstage and runs toward the center aisle, but stops just short of the first step, FAKING THE SHIT OUT OF THE LIGHTBOARD OPERATOR, WHO QUICKLY CORRECTS THE SITUATION BY RAISING HOUSELIGHTS AND LOWERING STAGELIGHTS. The lights remain up long enough to show WEMBLEY reacting to this by raising a finger and smiling (I gotcha!). Then, ALL LIGHTS DOWN

WEMBLEY

Shit!

"Lights!" debuted September 17, 1999.

Original Cast:
Gobo-Aaron Galbraith
Boober-Bill Bungeroth
Wembley-James Erwin

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