Three people are placed in a row downstage. Center stage is occupied by #3, stage right by #2, and stage left by #1. Each holds a Styrofoam cup in each of their hands. A fourth person, #4, is seated on a platform upstage center of the three. He or she holds a stack of papers illustrating, in crude black and white line drawings, different images and words from the following text.

The word SPLASH indicates that the actor has splashed the contents of the Styrofoam cup into his or her own face.

#1: I smoked a Cheetoh's brand Cheese Curl once. It tasted so cheesy. The savory smoke filled my mouth and lungs. I coughed.

#4: Boy, that was stupid.

#2: I swallowed a hummingbird once. Its wings beat in my chest and stomach. It triggered my gag reflex. I puked.

#4: Boy, that was stupid.

#3: I stuffed a cockroach in my ear once. It tickled at first, causing me to giggle slightly. Then the pain came. It began eating through my nasal passages and then through my soft palate. Now I can spit food out of my nose.

#4: Boy, that was stupid.

#1: I squeezed an entire tube of Crest toothpaste up my left nostril once. Now I always have fresh breath and a sparkling, winning smile, as well as one large nostril instead of two normal-sized ones.

#4: Boy, that was stupid.

#2: I ate a prickly pear cactus once. It had an interesting texture and tasted very good. then I tried to swallow it. It got lodged in my throat and wouldn't go up or down. My mom had to remove it with a pair of barbecue tongs. Now, when I drink a glass of water, little spouts of water come out of my neck.

#4: Boy, that was stupid.

#3: I drank an entire bottle of vodka in four seconds once. Oh man, was I tanked. I felt great. Then the blackness came. I fell down. I died.

"WOW" debuted in 1989, performed by Ashley Sovern, Krys Drogoszewski, Eric Pot, Greg Armknecht.

Performed at Best of the Best of No Shame on October 11, 1996.