No Shame Theatre Archives (2005-2006)

No Shame Theatre Executive Board - Spring 2006

Admission: $1
Friday, January 27, 2006 - [Theatre B]
First No Shame of the year
1) Champ Budzak Writes a Screenplay on His Laptop by Patrick Ashcraft
1.5) Eric Tells A Story That Almost Goes Somewhere by Eric Landuyt
2) Shoe Dance by Silver Dollar Tabor
3) Playing Soccer With A Quadriplegic OR How Lenin Gave Me Syphillus by Eli Wilkinson
4) Choose Your Own Choice For The Way That You Want Things In The Story To Go Next by Katy Baggs
5) The Shattering of Almost, Part I: The Articulation Battery by Cool Jesse
6) Tone Poem by Sean Shatto
7) There's A Reason For This, And I'll Get to It In A Minute by Eric Landuyt
8) Really Bad Haikus Volume I: This Slippery Walrus by Chris Lavoie
8.5) One True Faith by Jon Shelton
9) Here's A Hint: It Ain't Lemonade! by Jonathen Shelton
10) Tell Me The Secret Ingredient, Please Guy by Sadie Martha "Spats" Smith
11) Personal Statement To Accompany Application to the University of Iowa Graduate Playwrights Workshop (Fall 2006 Admission Cycle) by Adam Hahn

Friday, February 3, 2006 - [Theatre B]
1) A Vitamin C Chanty by The Dancing Skeletons
2) The Gristle 'Tween Your Teeth Part Two: Blaspheme + Chastity OR Please Don't Eat The Things That You Were Not Meant To Eat by Cool Jesse
3) The Land of Goodbyes by Stephen Ptacek
4) Allusion to a Classic Film by Evan Shenck
5) Angel? No. by Eli Wilkinson
5.5) If By Chance We Should Meet by Mirri
6) Survival of the Fittest by Eric Landuyt
7) Things I've Found by Sean Shatto
8) A Serenade by Bobby Evers to Danielle Santangelo
9) Bye Goodbye by Leisure Time Tabor
10) We Wuv Danielle This Much!!! by Katy Baggs
11) Battle Hym For THe Republicans by Dick Roberts
12) Guadalupe Goes to the Airport by Aprille Clarke
13) Cambus to Australia by Adam Hahn
14) Tonight I Fly by Danielle Santangello
15) Interview With Sluttangelo Conducted by Patrick

Friday, February 10, 2006 - [Theatre B]
1. Idle Chit-Chat by Bobby Evers (Bobby works a suicide hotline)
2. Please, Just Give Me a Few Minutes by Eli Wilkinson (Eli ruminates on his insecurities and the woman he loves)
3. Not That There's Anything Wrong With That by Dick Roberts (Dick speaks briefly about how he is homophobic, then sings a song to illustrate that fact)
3.5. Brian Interviews Jake by Brian Lenth (Brian interviews Jake, played by Michael Tabor, on his seduction techniques)
4. Adventures at Lenscrafters by Jonathan Shelton (Eli wants to spend the hour that they're waiting for their glasses conjuring demons, again)
5. Once Again, We're Just Too Late for the Party by Katy Baggs (Katy and Bobby have big butts, realize how out of style that is, and eventually transition to funny farts)
6. Frustrated Self-Indulgence, or Self-Indulgent Frustration by Sad Green Monster (Eric Landuyt, wearing only a jock strap, a dildo, and a green monster mask, dances for the crowd)
7. Grand Theft Auto, Grand Theft of Life by Dick Roberts (A young man prioritizes video games over a variety of fun activities with his girlfriend)
8. Thriller Diller by Michael Tabor (Michael performs a monologue about a hole in the earth and a fellow named Denny who asserts that liquids should be shooken; will there be disaster?)
9. Aprille's Humiliating No Shame Archives: The Early Years by Aprille Clarke (Aprille revisits some No Shame pieces from 1997-1999)
10. The Evolution of Man by O'Sandra (beings evolve, eventually kill each other)
11. Little Aprille by Adam Hahn (Adam reminsces about old-timey No Shame when racism was hilarious and dimpled Little Aprille danced)
12. Heavy Petting by Patrick Ashcraft (Patrick and his date pet the cat until it got sexed to death)

Friday, February 17, 2006 - [Theatre B]
1. Peaches and Cream by Jonathan Shelton (scene: sexability of Nicole Kidman, alive or dead, with famous male voices)
2. Eric Tells Jokes About the News by Eric Landuyt (exactly what it sounds like: most of the news is Asian)
3. Shine by Sean Shatto (extremely loud song w/keyboard)
4. Donald's Lonely LunchBox, Part Intermission: Comedic Relief for the SpongeBob Crowd by Cool Jesse and Patrick Swayze (stompy song about trucks w/props)
5. Deconstructing John Bobbit by Ronnie Milsap and Dick Roberts (stage banter, penis song w/keyboard)
6. Doctor Adventure and . . . The Plucky Grad Student by Evan Schenck (scene: new student fails to be Asian, will go along with the professor's insanity for music theory degree)
7. Brian and Jake Make Weird Noises by Brian and Jake (exactly what it sounds like)
8. I Will Date You on the Internet: Week One by Adam Hahn (monologue: joining personals sites, failing to find you)
9. ESPN's 'Shooting for Excellence with Dick Cheney' by Dick Roberts (scene: VP interviewed by sportscaster)
10. The Suicide Girl by Eli Wilkinson (scene: bad-at-sex girl wants attention before suicide, will be sexed dead or alive)
11. What Not to Do by Bobby Evers (brief scene: Is it a To-Do list, or--? I've just said.)
12. Life's Not Scary Anymore: A Commentary by Eric Landuyt (monologue: extremely long jail sentences)
13. Snogging and That Time of the Month with a Dash of Homo-Eroticism Thrown in for Fun by Nick May (scene: dream about kissing leads to scene about kissing leads to actual kissing?)
14. The Davids by Poupon "The Professor" Tabor (monologue: old man names everything David, lives among junk, missed family, fights for magic amulet)

Friday, February 24, 2006 - [Theatre B]

There were some announcements which included the standard Yes, Shame announcement and the one for this website. Also, the announcement where Jamal thanked everybody for contributing towards his medical expenses.

1) It's Fun to Trick When the Tricks are Treats by Katy Baggs (a dude puts a lady's underwear in the shower head; a lady puts candy in a dude's giggles)
2) Halftime by Flabbergasted Jakers (Jakers blows our minds with his observations on the length of halftime)
3) E by Brian Lenth (Lumo is doing a crossword puzzle. TBone tells him there are 61 "E"s in the word "discreet." Jakers plays the trombone wa-waaaaa)
4) Fuck The Fourth Wall by Nick May (at great, confusing length Nick talks about his piece from last week)
5) High Tea With Bill Murray by Alyssa Bowman (a fellow lives with his mom, Bill Murray, and two dinosaurs)
6) Lick Bush And Eat Rice by Dick Roberts (song parodies)
7) A Farewell Letter by Evan Schenck (a guy is leaving and wrote a letter about how he hates you and always really did)
8) Mad Club by Eli Wilkinson (Mad Club's integrity is compromised when a lady joins the club and people are happy about it.)
9) I'm A Noodle Guy by Michael Tabor (Bobby Evers performs a monologue about how there are so many different types of noodles)
10) I Think This Might Be The Scariest Thing I've Ever Done by Zwephany Dell (Ashcraft performs a monologue about a school dance. Discusses the cliques present)
11) I Will Date You On The Internet: 5 Scenes From Week 2 by Adam Hahn (Adam and some dudes discuss fear, internet dating, women's self image, bingo)
12) Aprille's Humiliating No Shame Archives, 2000 by Aprille Clarke (Aprille re-performs an old piece about the Christian Children's relief fund. Hahn interrupts frequently to point out the bad parts)
13) Impolite by Bobby Evers (people won't leave their table at the Java House)
14) Such A Disappointment by Sadie Smith (Spats, meets herself as a young girl. Young Sadie is disappointed in how she turned out. Spats seems to feel older and wiser than Young Sadie)
15) What The Smooshy Face Is Wrong With You by Sean Shatto (The Shat says some weird things about his weird ideas.)
16) Corduroy sunburn, Part Intermission (Part 2) : Because I Don't Like The Way Y'all'ree Looking' at Me 'And Now Heres's Something We Hope You'll Really Like...' by Cool Jesse and if you laugh like you're on the inside, he'll cut you like a minority! (Batman wants an abortion and also pokes a dead cat with a dead stick)

Friday, March 3, 2006 - [Theatre B]

Regular announcements, PLUS we decided to have a show next week even though it's the week before spring break. Why not? It might be fun.

1. Great Person in History When They Were in School by Bobby Evers (2:06). We observe a young Martin Luther King, Jr. during his college years, including a cameo by the fetching Coretta Scott.
2. Self Destruction by Eric Landuyt (2:35). A slam-style poetry performance.
3. 'Fuck You, Michael Tabor,' and 11 Other Things I Detest by Dick Roberts (4:50). Dick talks about things that really burn him up, e.g. political correctness.
4. I Don't Understand by Toby (3:53). Toby monologues about things he doesn't understand, e.g. how blind people are supposed to figure out where the Braille is on hotel walls.
5. Aprille's Humiliating No Shame Archives: 2001 (1:23). Aprille re-performs a piece from the old days about a lady who can only have butt sex due to past trauma.
6. The President Song by John Abramowitz (4:38). John sings a song to the tune of "I'm a Lumberjack" about the President's foibles, except his computer didn't work so he couldn't remember all of it.
7. The Power I Almost Exercised Over My Daughter's Future by Dick Roberts (2:36). A photocopy mix-up almost makes Dick's daughter not get in the honors program.
8. Fruit Bowl by Mirri (5:23). Travis puts so many fruits on his face, and Mirri thinks he's weird.
9. My Disappointing Fortune Cookie by Eric Landuyt (0:10). Eric adds "in bed" to his fortune, only it's sad because he doesn't have a bed.
10. Paperback Writer by Evan Schenck (4:56). Evan talks about his plans to write a top-hit genre-bending novel.
11. Mecial's Birthday in Space by Aprille Clarke (5:25). Mecial and Michael Tabor find love in outer space.
12. Rome by Flabbergasted Jakers (2:47). Jakers explains the different phrases inspired by Rome, such as the accuracy of the "built in a day" thing, and "lazy Romes."

Friday, March 10, 2006 - [Theatre B]
1. Etymology by Michael Tabor (song) 3:20
2. Empty by Eric Villhauer (a list of things that pisses that guy off!) 2:56
2.5 Donald and The Angry Trumpet by A Son of a Bitch (Pappa Smurf, a guy with a stick, somebody else) 0:24
3. Bears by Flabbergasted Jakers (Jakers talks about how much he loves bears) 4:25
4. Dick Cheney by Michael Tabor (song parody) 2:30
5. Aprille's Humiliating No Shame Archives, 2002 by Aprille Clarke (Aprille's old piece about winning friends with mind powers) 6:03
5.5 Lumo Does A Weird Thing by Brian Lenth (Lumo does indeed do a weird thing) 0:40
6. George W. Bush by Michael Tabor (song) 1:50
7. Mad Libbed Monologue by The E'ster (I wasn't paying attention) 2:04
8. Haunted House by Adam Hahn (kids go to an old house in the woods) 5:28
9. Poopers Brimbaugh IV by Poindexter Herweeny Nerd III, Esq. (We don't know Adam Hahn the way Jamal knows Adam Hahn.) 3:12

SPRING BREAK - March 11-19 - NO SHOW

Friday, March 24, 2006 - [Theatre B]
.5 Egg Joke by Jake Gontero
1. The Cheater by Evan Schenck
2. Crouch Push Fall by 2 Jerks Plus a Rapscallion
3. Urination by Flabbergasted Jack
4. Wonderwall by Oasis
5. It's About Time by Eric Landuyt
6. Navy Guy with Seven Children by the Michael Tabors
7. The Weird World of the Future by Aprille Clarke
8. The Advantages of Printing Out Your No Shame Skit, OR A Piece in Which John Attempts to Make Fun of Monty Python, Office Space, Himself, George W. Bush, & Nicholas May All at the Same Time by John Abramowitz
9. Booger by Michael Tabor
10. Dead Guy Geoff by Sean Shatto
11. Just Thought You Should Know by Bobby Evers
12. Jake by the Touchdowns
13. So Jealous About It by Sadie Smith

Friday, March 31, 2006 - [Theatre B]
1. Someone Find Me a Fiddle by Jon "Papa" Shelton (a cappella song with sword)
2. I Wrote This Because Patrick and I Have the Same Shirts by Adam Hahn (silent scene: matching shirts mean group identity, unity against others)
3. Love-Hate Relationship by Tim Busse (one guy plays three guys discussing hatred)
4. Session w/Dr. Hartley and Friends! (scene: Patrick has sex problems, an excellent therapist)
5. Blah! Blah! Blah! by Cool Jesse "The Fuck" Blaine (Jesse's piece so he could smoke during the show)
6. Old School Comedy by Eli Wilkinson (scene: confusion over "Bob's Your Uncle")
7. Sin's Requiem #6 by Jonathan Shelton (musical performance with backwards recording and the threat of percussion)
8. Religion of Fish by Bobby Evers (monologue: fish hate God ever since He withdrew His flood)
9. For What Porpoise? by Nick May (scene: feelings on the porpoise)
10. Drunk Dial by Eric Landuyt (scene: Eric fails to help drunk stranger. What if stranger was Jesus?)
11. Random Writing Exercises by Elizabethan Wilks (scene: two men, narrated by their thoughts)
12. Deep Blue Sea and Danny by Adam Hahn (monologue: events, emotions brought up, held in during a trip to the mall to see "Deep Blue Sea")
13. I Love All the Precious Forest Creatures by Katy Baggs (Katy destroys mythical forest creatures for her collection)

Friday, April 7, 2006 - [Theatre B]
1. Tender Young Age by Robert LaCross and Danielle Santangelo (Little Robert gets his finger comforted sex-style by mommy)
2. Stop Being Sad or I'll Beat You Up by King Sophie (guitar song about a sad alien)
3. A Piece for Eli by Dick Roberts (Eli chooses prospective colleges based on funny names)
3.5. From the Archives, 2002: Mean Lady Stage Cross #1 by Aprille Clarke (Woman wants to hurt a salesman)
4. Carrie's Father by Adam Hahn (monologue about a dying man and the narrator's relationship with his daughter)
5. Long Story by Evan Schenck (How'd those human heads get in Evan's backpack?)
6. Act II, Scene 7 of Whatever I Title It (OR It's a Writer's Forum, so Suck It! by Eli Wilkinson (I'm sorry, I don't remember. It helps to have a title that somehow relates to your piece, people!)
6.5. From the Archives, 2002: Mean Lady Stage Cross #2 by Aprille Clarke (Lady puts razor blades in cheesecake)
7. CareBears Live in Care-a-Lot by Matt Benyo (the true story of the misunderstood love of Christopher Robin and Pooh, which ends in tragedy)
8. Thanksgiving 2000 by Adam Hahn (a man's plan to get love by trapping himself and a lady in a Y2K shelter ends up crappy)
9. Four Instant Cures for Depression: Beer, 'A' Raisin in the Sun, Twister, and No Gays by Patrick Ashcraft III" (Patrick and Mecial speculate on different ways to escape from their ennui)
10. Hot Stone Hypnotherapy by Aprille Clarke (A guy helps a lady find her past lives, and she's not who she thought she was)
11. Vampire by Eric Landuyt (First-person account of what it feels like to be a vampire and how he relates to his victims)
11.5. From the Archives, 2002: Mean Lady Stage Cross #3 by Aprille Clarke (Little girl loses her teeth. Was it from the candy??)
12. Questionable Taste by Jon Shelton (Jon and Eli have an ambiguous exchange centered around Skittles)
13. Alligators in the Sewers! by The Return of Sid Glissen (Patrick squats on a table and performs a poem about alligators)

IOWA CITY, Iowa - Residents were cleaning up Friday after tornadoes tore across the University of Iowa campus, ripped walls off a downtown church and killed a woman in a mobile home.

The National Weather Service said that five tornadoes touched down in Johnson County, Iowa, on Thursday night, the most destructive carving a 3 1/2-mile path of damage through downtown and the university.

The twisters swept across eastern Iowa, with the worst damage from Iowa City southeast through Nichols, about 20 miles away, the National Weather Service said.

In Iowa City, 30 persons were reported treated at hospitals for storm-related injuries.

--- The Associated Press

Friday, April 14, 2006 - [Theatre B]

So I guess the tornado damage inspired everyone to write about suicide.

1. Bugle Boy Jake by Michael, Jamal, & Jake (song without bugle)
2. The Easter Special by Mortimer Snert (scene: man professes divinity, invites worship)
3. Get Happy by Eric Landuyt (suicidal man tries to get hotline help)
4. Tornado Song (too soon) by Sean Shatto (improvised song about the tornado)
5. One-Man Intervention by Patrick Ashcraft (monologue: man professes sadness to his friends)
6. Ha-Cha-Cha-Cha-Cha-Cha Lady by The Lyrics Were Totally Written by Brian Lenth (song with ukulele)
7. From the Archives, 2003: Richard Ramirez (AC has a boner for Richard Ramirez)
8. Your Friend/How Many Things (monologue/poem on acting like a friend, authenticity)
9. DC. Al Coda by Tim Sitzmann (scene: man rejects girlfriend through a locked door after her suicide)
10. Jake Makes You Laugh by Michael, Jamal, & Jake (monologue on crows, people buying things, your wife)
11. Questions from a Real Sex Ed Website with Fake Answers by Aprille Clarke
12. It Feels Good to Have a Nice Cry (Doesn't It Jake) by Brian Lenth (song, while tormenting Jake)
13. Monologue for Dan Bern (recovering from depression, favorite musician, tattoo)
14. How to Try in Business Without Really Succeeding by Tim Busse (repeated monologue on business ownership, a disturbing injury)

Friday, April 21, 2006 - [Theatre B]
1. The Return to Pants Manor II: The Hauntening by Jonathan Shelton (Man finds love with ill-fated tent)
2. I Don't Know by Eric Landuyt (A capella musical performance)
3. Improper Flag Use by Bobby Evers by Bobby Evers (Bobby don't know crap about American flag etiquette)
3.5. From the Archives, 2003: Compromised Condiments by Aprille Clarke (Man passes off laundry detergent for cheese)
4. You Were a Falling Star, But You Didn't Fall for Very Long a song by Dillion Sunshine (Patrick, in a funny beard, plays power bass and sings us a song)
5. Not a Real Comic Book by Evan Schenck (Does Jesus count as a superhero?)
6. She Never Really Did Love Me, OR Basket Full of Easter Eggs by Patrick Ashcraft (Hector solves his love problems through violence)
7. Possible a Rhythm by Cool Jesse (poetry performance)
8. A Modest Proposal by Mortimer Snert (who's stalking whom?? Who's suiciding whom??)
9. Old School Christianity Today, OR Why the Fight to End Poverty is Going Nowhere by Eli Wilkinson (Christians are jerks who are mean to starving Africans)
10. A Feminist Deconstruction of Golf by Dick Roberts (a treatise on the phallocentric nature of golf)
10.5. From the Archives, 2003: Dangerously Close by Aprille Clarke (Woman hates racism, eating fingernails)
11. Everybody Is Gay for Someone by Nick May (Nick comes out, selectively, romatically)
12. Endless Bummer by Tim Busse (Tim recounts his fellow rehabbers' letters to their drugs of choice)
13. The Tragic Tale of Haystack Calhoun and Dirty Slug McGee by Eric Landuyt (An old-timey tale of sheep-flipping and Mexican-hating)
13.5. A Hilarious Prank by Lilly Richard ("Wait for it...wait for it..." but it's not what we thought!)
14. Excuse to Be Loud at You by Sean Shatto (Noise art in the dark)
15. Time Goes By So Slowly by Aprille Clarke (Woman unknowingly does it with an 8-year-old)
15.5. Jenga! Jenga! Jenga! Jenga! by Katy Baggs (A loss at Jenga cuts Katy deeply)
16. Battory Overpass by Adam Hahn (a discarded car battery sparks a string of troubles for our narrator)
17. Teapot Bob by the Touchdowns (musical performance featuring drum, ukelele, banjo, and trombone)

Friday, April 28, 2006 - [Theatre B]
Dead Week
1. The Ghost of a Very Seinfeld Christmas Past by Jonathan Shelton
2. 40 Aphorisms for Our Times by Dick Roberts
3. What We Wait For by Bobby Evers
4. KFC Ya Real Soon by Tim Busse
5. Flushing Out the System by Eric Landuyt
6. Coffee Problem by Evan Schenck
7. Meschel Says Goodbye by Timm Sitzmann
8. Derelict & the Mandolin that Squealed, Part Thirty Twelve: The Grand Finale that Never Actually Needed to Happen by Cool Jesse & The Happy Fun Time Wonder Buns
9. These Was... by Sean Shatto
10. Kaffeklat in an Undisclosed Location by Katy Baggs
11. Thirty-Five Years by Pirate Johnson
12. Leaving...OR If Samuel Beckett Were Still Alive He'd Sue Me by Eli Wilkinson
13. Adam's Humiliating No Shame Present, 2006: Cool Ranch by Adam Hahn
14. Fare Thee Well by Steve-O Ptacek
14.5 Shelton's Words of Wisdom--Prometheus Mechanism by Jonathan Shelton
15. The Consultant by Matthew Benyo
16. What Went Wrong by Aprille Clarke

No Shame at River Fest
Saturday, April 29, 2006
- [Theatre B]
Hey, everybody, this is just a reminder that No Shame Theatre will performing at Riverfest on April 29th. We have two half hour slots:




Right now, the 5:15 slot is filled up (Shelton, Eli, Hahn, Jake, The Michael Tabors (or some other musical thing, if the Shat can't do it), Lumo). I originally thought only five pieces, but a lot of people wanted to do things, and a few of these things are pretty short, so six should be good.

We also have now recently filled up the 10:15 slot! (The Michael Tabor (or some other musical thing, if the Shat can't do it), Jake, Hahn, Lumo, Jamal, Eli)

IF you don't perform, you can come watch. It'll be fun!

photos Best of No Shame
Friday, May 5, 2006
- [Theatre A]

WRITERS: Remember to bring a copy of your script for the light booth, as well as sufficient copies for your actors.

To be performed May 5, 2006

1. It's Fun to Trick When the Tricks are Treats by Katy Baggs
2. Farewell Letter by Evan Schenck
3. E by Brian Lenth
4. Fuck You, Michael Tabor by Dick Roberts
5. Drunk Dial by Eric Landuyt
6. Religion of Fish by Bobby Evers
7. Adventures at Lenscrafters by Jonathan Shelton
8. Deep Blue Sea and Danny by Adam Hahn
9. Mad Club by Eli Wilkinson
10. Donald's Lonely Lunchbox, Part Intermission: Comedic Relief for the SpongeBob Crowd by Cool Jesse and Patrick Swayze
11. So Jealous About It by Sadie Smith
12. Guadalupe Goes to the Airport by Aprille Clarke
12.5 Hilarious Prank by Lilly Richard
13. Endless Bummer by Tim Busse
14. Bears by Flabbergasted Jakers
15. High Tea with Bill Murray by Alyssa Bowman
16. I Think This Might Be The Scariest Thing I've Ever Done by Zwephany Dell and Patrick Ashcraft
17. Carebears Live in Carealot by Matt Benyo
18. Dead Geoff by Sean Shatto

Continue on to Fall 2006