Good show, good audience, good times.
---Aprille
1. Get Your Jug by the Michael Tabors (Musical performance featuring Jamal, Michael Tabor, and Sean Shatto)This was an incredible season opener: a full slate of pieces, generally high quality, and a capacity crowd. Let's do it again next week in a way that won't almost kill Mirri. ---Adam
2. A Sincere and Heartfelt Monologue about My Feelings and NOT My Penis by Jonathan Shelton (Shelton keeps trying to get around to not talking about his penis, but never quite makes it)
2.5. Gross Things #1 by Mirri. (Mirri drinks clam juice)
3. I Now Have the Right to Judge Everyone by Evan Schenck (Dialogue between Evan and a violent, misogynistic God)
4. Sadie's piece (sorry, the order got messed up and I don't have the title, but it was the one where Michael Tabor had a bucket and a bag on his head, and Sadie fed him watermelon)
5. In the Date World, Prunes Are King by Alisa Rosenthal (Alisa and Adam are on what appears to be a blind date, but it turns out to be much awkarder)
5.5. Gross Things #2 by Mirri (Mirri eats sardines)
6. Aprille Out of Chile by John Leigh (Aprille dictates a letter to G—mez, her lost Chilean love)
7. Going to Hell by Eli Wilkinson (Eli is a jerk of a doctor who is mean)
8. My Friend Jennifer Connelly by Patrick Ashcraft (Patrick tells us about his great friendship with Jennifer Connelly, with whom he attended camp)
8.5. Gross Things #3 by Mirri (Mirri eats nutmeg in clam juice)
9. Living and Dressing as Someone Else by Cool Jesse (Jesse and many others read poetry/prose, sometimes simultaneously and sometimes Jesse by himself. Themes of summertime and abandonment)
10. D-I-V-O-R-C-E-Whee! by Bobby Evers (Katy, Bobby's mother, informs him that her divorce from his father is entirely his fault)
11. Marianne or: How I Spend My Summer Vacation by Adam Hahn (Adam recounts a tale of his killing spree-road trip with the oft-married Marianne)
11.5. Gross Things #4 by Mirri (Mirri drinks evaporated milk)
12. From Just Another Shark: "Amity by Stephen Hiro (Ptacek) (a man best known as Stev-0 performs a song on a bouzouki and sings--themes of shark attacks and lost love)
13. Vikings Sketch, or Rape Is Funny by Eric Landuyt (Vikings pillage a man's house, and discover that his wife, like all women--according to the piece--longs to be raped due to the inadequacies of her husband)
14. My Little Brother and I Meet a Biceratops by Aprille Clarke (Aprille recounts various memories of her brother, culminating with a ball-cutting trip to the State Fair)
14.5 Gross Things #5 by Mirri (Mirri eats catfood, then makes out with Jonathan Shelton)
15. keep your friends close and Friends far, far far away by Timm Sitzmann (A man discovers Bigfoot, almost loses his wife and best friend to Bigfoot's coolness, but then exposes that it's not really Bigfoot)
16. The Hat Shop by Bernice Wells Carlson (Michael Tabor, a hat shop patron, and Jamal, a hat shop employee, attempt a business interaction to little avail)
Announcements:
Donate money to help people from the hurricane. Danielle passed around a bucket.
The Michael Tabors are playing on 9/10 at 7:00ish at Uptown Bill's (401 S Gilbert)
1) Business! Internet! Business! by Timm Sitzmann (Tim gives a presentation with a cacamame business scheme)
2 - performed 3rd) Dos Amigos go to Lunch by Theresa Resimer and Carla Gonzalez (two white girls are having lunch and talking about going to Panchero's, but then one turns out to not be white)
3 - performed 2nd) No Excuse by The King of Modesty (KOM meets a gay man on facebook.com. KOM sneaks him into the house. Perhaps there were mishaps or hyjinks and a lesson learned, but we don't know, because his piece got cut off because it was LONGER than five minutes. Also, KOM did not have a very big butt.)
3.5) My life in a nutshell by Jon Shelton (Oh, no! Somebody put a taco in that guys chalupa!)
4) No Transition by Jacob Zana (beat poetry)
5) Urine Nazi by Evan Schench (a guy is peeing on a wall, but a girl wants her boyfriend (a different guy) to have sex with him against that wall. the peeing guy teaching them something about their relashionship)
6) Me, Myself and The List Goes On and On and On... by Tall Dave (Dave tries to give a monologue, but his other personalities(?) keep taking over)
7) 20-Minute Macbeth, Act I by William Shakespeare adapted for the stage by Adam Hahn (Act I of Shakespeare in EXACTLY five minutes...adapted for the stage, because it was unsuitable for stage before this)
8) Zombies by The Michael Tabors (a song about a cat)
9) I Like Skeletons and my Nams is Eli Wilkinson by Patrick Ashcraft (some dude and his friends do not like sex in graveyards, but then the dude's friends do like it, so the dude is confused, but then he does it)
10) Aprille in a Taxi by John Leigh (having just flown home from Chile, Aprille talks to a cabbie while he drives her home from the airport)
11) What's Your Favorite Planet? by Aprille Clarke (Aprille convinces celebrities that EARTH is the best planet!)
12) An Attempt at social Commentary by Eric Landuyt (Eric thinks people should touch more often)
13) From Just Another White Shark: Chrissie Watkins by Stephen Hiro (a song on a giant mandolin about a girl and a shark)
14) Slumbering Beneath Your Father's Angst by Cool Jesse (girls and boys...they can't get along...Jesse tells us about an example while people on stage are acting it out)
14.5) But, Grandpa! (Butt Grandpa!) by Bernice Wells Carlson (a little girl tries to get her grandfather to help her with math...with hilarious results!)
15) It's never who ya think it is by Eli Wilkinson (Amish gangsters make Eli do things...they don't like George W.)
16) Marlene by Alisa Rosenthal (a girl goes to jail and another girl in there want to sex her up and they have a chopped off penis)
17) Trustlessly by Louis Slavan (superheros take 5 minutes to decide to do something and then get the lights shut off on them before they get to do it)
Announcements:
1. Mao, Mao, Mao by the Michael Tabors (musical performance)
2. Seven Minutes in Heaven by Patrick Ashcraft (monologue about boob-touching)
3. Do Not Question the Depth of My Affection by Evan Schenk (monologue: he loves her a lot)
4. No Signal: A Brilliant Inaugural Novel by Theobald Q. Rosenthal (sketch about Theobald goes to a weird motel with a weird staff, writes a novel, is an elephant)
5. Bot 3000x by G-Monkey Louis (Household chores robot turns to mom-sexing)
6. Mathman Confessionals: Vol 2 by Jon Mentalo Roberts (monologue: spitballs and lupus)
7. See-Through Mask by Danielle Santangelo (Danielle's character has a mentally ill father and talks to a bag-headed "stranger" about it)
8. The Immobility of Things by John Leigh (the next installment in the Chile chronicles; Aprille breaks up with Denny and talks to Gomez on the phone)
9. We're the Coolest Kids Ever! by MC Rzlberry & the Hip Hop Kids (mean making fun of previous weeks' pieces)
10. Parasites! Ouch! by Bobby Evers (Bobby has a parasite, parasite has a host, other parasite finds host, fun and friendship ensue)
11. My Girlfriend Stabbed My Cat by Eric Landuyt (Guy makes sexist remark and his girlfriend stabs his cat. Homeless man listens.)
12. The Call by Kevin "Triscuit" Burke (monologue)
12.5. Whales! by real whales and Tom (guys make whale noises with growing tension)
13. Actual Questions from a Sex-Ed Website with Hilarious Answers by Aprille Clarke and contributors to that website (Aprille reads terrible questions and gives terrible answers)
14. Adventures with Dori & Greg: Today's Episode: Dori & Greg Get Ready for Bed by Machlin/Wisoff (man and woman engage in gross and hilarious pre-bed rituals)
15. Masturbatory Skit for Our Friends to Laugh At & You to be Confused By by Know No Supertonic Triads (people eat, drink, play violin, dance, decide what movie to watch)
16. 20-Minute Macbeth, Act II by William Shakespeare and Adam Hahn (King is stabbed, birthday cake is consumed, stabbing is discovered)
16.5. Ball Cap Follies by Bernice Wells Carlson (a guy's hat won't get the right size. Also, bad color and itchy)
17. A Bunch of Skribbles by Timm Sitzmann (an argument about the point of things, or lack thereof, then some metatheatrical discussion)
Unofficial Order 9/23/05 I don't have the official order, so this is just a half-assed recap based on my memory for the purpose of sparking discussion. Please feel free to correct me and/or post a real order if you have the means. ---Aprille
1. Jonathan Shelton talks about the absurdity of Archie comics.
2. several terrible puns in succession by Mirri (Mirri's puns and eating Pat Sajak)
2.5. It's Apple Time, by Aprille Clarke (Aprille and Sadie eat apples nourished by a forgotten baby)
3. It Is Not Ever Who You Think That It Will Be by King Sophie (smallest man in the world is actually a pop tart... so what's in the toaster?)
4. Timm Sitzmann talks about the living room orgy in Argentina
5. Seth's piece about the offensive Christian Scrabble game
6. Sadie's piece--drooling on Patrick's stomach
7. Five More Minutes by Danielle Santangelo (Danielle and Seth trade short lines back and forth (I'm coming I'm coming I'm coming))
8. Anachronism by the Dread Pirate Evan Schenck (a guy double majored in Piracy and Women's Studies)
9. How to Make Penguins Even Cuter Than They Already Are by Ryan
10. Gomez Anew by John Leigh (Aprille and Beth (mom) argue morals)
11. Bully Beans by Bernice Wells Carlson (a bully wanting lunch money, being chased by dogs)
12. Fun with Felons, by Katy Baggs (Katy tells us about a program in which she has taken a felon under her wing; felon turns out scary and dangerous)
13. Louie: The robot sings love song to mom
14. Exercise in Politeness: Penultimate Movement by Alisa Rosenthal (man gets a haircut by a speechlessly sad woman; towel, scissors, electric razor)
15. Patrick's piece about dropping the cell phone into the poo
16. Eli's Coming and going Straight to Hell, by Eli Wilkinson (Eli masturbates with tears, ejaculates, wipes up semen with a Bible. He also may or may not have AIDS.)
16.5 Timm does a .5 about seeing the beautiful woman out the window, gets rejected
17. 20-Minute Macbeth, Act III by William Shakespeare, Special Edition Director's Commentary by Adam Hahn
1. Jennifer Connely wrote me a postcard and I'm going to share it with you by Patrick Ashcraft
2. Three poems by Nicholas E. May
3. Popping the question by Katy Baggs
4. No Shame within a No Shame by Tralex and Stevo
5. The song about the clock by The Michael Tabors
6. Bird's eye by Eli Wilkinson
6.5 If Jaws could play the Congas by Stephen Hiro
7. Several terrible tree puns in succession by Mirri
8. The new curriculum by John Leigh
9. The revenge of Amber Dautremonde by Aprille Clarke
10. Ouch hey stop that please by Sadie Smith
11. The perfect end to the perfect day by Seth Owens and Alisa Rosenthal
12. 20-Minute Macbeth, Act IV by William Shakespeare, Graphic Design by Adam Hahn
13. The seven Simons by Bernice Wells Carlson
14. Dinosaurs: A poem about dinosaurs by Sophie Taft
1. Worst in the World (The Presidents Song) by Mr. A. is Crazy (Patrick Ashcraft sings for his students about the Presidents)
2. Losing My Religion by Sophie "You should actually come to Yes Shame this time, losers" Taft (monologue: in honor of Diversity Month, Sophie is temporarily Amish)
2.5. Oh My God, Don't Drink It by Timm Sitzmann (drinking milk will make diminutive Timm into medium-build Mecial, then giant Michael Tabor)
3. I Used to Love Coloring Books by Travis and Evan (career counselor Evan convinces Travis to become an assassin)
4. PostSecret by Know No Supertonic Triads (Leslie and the sick girl drinking all the orange juice before the show monologuing on failed relationship)
5. Yeah, Elbows! or Yellbows! by Sean Shatto (improvised song: elbow grease, bagel, difficulty of selecting a key)
6. The Booger King by Brown Butt (Jamal's monologue, performed by Aaron Galbraith: The Booger King has come for boogers, but not really)
7. The Tale of the Old, Old Witch and the Big, Dumb Hunchback by Katy Baggs (Katy's mother watches "JAG", father eats poop, Katy was aborted? everything is funny because it's true)
8. Pastor Tom Talks about Masturbating by Eric Landuyt (Eli's urges/self-gratification are evil, Eric suggests strictly Freudian outlets)
9. Sun Rise, Sun Set (Not the Song) by Eli Wilkinson (scene about love, hope, miscarriage)
10. Angelito by John Leigh (monologue: Aprille has aborted her Gomez clone fetus)
11. Tim's True Tales Volume 2 by Timm Sitzmann (monologue: Timm accidentally buys an Argentine handjob)
12. Life Lessons (This is How We Do) by The Michael Tabors (song)
13. Weird Things You Learn at the White House by Aprille Clarke (monologue: tour guide Aprille tells group of gay Mexicans about deformed first ladies)
14. Paperback Writer by Bobby Evers (everyone thinks Bobby is a bad writer, including Bobby)
15. 20-Minute Macbeth, Act V by William Shakespeare, Super Realistic Fight Choreography by Adam Hahn (Act V, exactly as Shakespeare wrote it)
Michael and Jamal's last no shame; they have joined the national guard.
1. Dogs are smiling by the Michael Tabors
The michael tabors sing a song about smiling, polite, and loveable dogswhich they will pet. but they will not pet the bad dogs.
2. Stay off my planet by Bobby Evers.
Bobby is a Martian who is angry at earthling tourists that do nothing tohelp the martian economy but also have no respect for their people orculture.
2.5 Parking your car by Evan Schenk (Shank)
Found art: the university guide to parking which asks you to use yoursenses (including smell) to park your car
3. Rivers & Lasers: Friends to the end except they're actually enemies by Sadie Smith
After failing to convince soda kids of the goodness of ovaltine, a manattempts to teach a strange creature to speak, and say I Love Ovaltine. the creature has none of it.
4. From just another white shark "Amity part 2" by Stephen Hiro
Stephen sings a song about the girl he almost got back together with (nearly jeopordizing his album) but also the end of Jaws
5. 6 Ways to get killed by the mob by Eli Wilkinson
Eli unfortunately does the wrong things at the wrong times and is beaten by mobs for being pro-choice at an anti-abortion rally, drinking coke at an anti-coke rally, amongst other things.
6. Sex! Oh - and sex! by Timm Sitzmann
Timm does a monologue about sex and how it is good amongst other details of sexually related things
7. My Oblivian Returns!!! by Patrick Ashcraft is SAD
Patrick confronts Eli during a monologue and gives his own monologue with much elaborate imagery about his oblivian, which will not go away. He then confronts and kills two people who have either contributed or not helped solve his oblivion.
8. Like a virgin: My first serious no shame piece by Eric Landruyt
Monologue seemingly autobiographical about a catholic school boy dealing with his sexual desire and the guilt which comes with it as he nearly loses his virginity but doesn't quite... make it...
9. A Poem for mom by Danielle Santangello
A boy writes poetry under the influence of his mother who tells him what type of poetry to write. (romantic poetry is what she wants!) When the boy finally does attempt to be romantic for Kate(?) the mother whisks him a way to be held against her bosom and subsequently breast fed
10. Dear Ms. Evie Richardson, Parking Services 100 IMU Ramp, 319-335-1473 by Leslie Koppenhaver
Leslie writes a letter to a director of parking services to complain about university parking procedures, dumb kids who live in WaCheer (spelling?),and other problems.
11. The cops are after Lenny by Aprille Clarke
Aprille's semi-retarded brother has killed children. It turns out her brother is half donkey! Aprille first blames Lenny, then herself, then Marcothe grilled cheese guy. All of this happens on Aprille's wedding day. It turns out she is actually sad about her dead mom not being at the wedding, so they decided to dig her up.
12. The Merchant of Venice, Act I - JUST KIDDING! For Hillary, I Am a Tattooist of Children by Adam Hahn
A candlelit monologue about a man who develops an obsession for Hillary, a grad student who writes poetry, works with children, and recently got a tatoo. Adam combines these three things into tatooing poetry on children
13. Aprille Anew: The Resurrection by John Leigh
Aprille decides to scrap the abortion and reimpregnate herself with thechild of Gomez by using DNA from his lock of hair. Denny discovers that sheis pregnant and either does not believe that the baby is not his or decides she is a whore. Either way he vows it will not be the end. Meanwhile, Aprille realizes that she is essentially the Virgin Mary of Science!
13.5 Monsters are so dumb sometimes by Timm Sitzmann
Sadie's attempt to read Henry David Thorough is rudely interrupted by a group of monsters growling, stomping, and generally created an envirnomentinconducive to reading The Maine Woods. Sadie asks them to leave and they sadly exit as Sadie resumes her reading of Thorough.
14. Working title by Evan Schenk
Evan thinks women use men and that love is a corporate holiday to make money. People with girlfriends are doing what THEY want you to do - falling in line with the system. But do his past girlfriends make him a hypocrite?
15. Edison and his wife by Bernice Wells Carlson
Thomas Edison's wife chastises him for his laziness and not inventing as much as he could possibly invent. She threatens him with a yet uninvented rolling pin as Edison rues the day which he invented his own wife!
16. Oh my god my penis burns! by Mistress Sasha
A newly hired hooker shows her father her new workplace. He gets a tour complete with sex toys, domination type devices, stories about sex and poop and pee, along with an offer for sex from the russian lady.
Announcements included, but were not limited to:
-Steve-O's Billy the Kid play this weekend
-Macbeth (the long version) next Friday and Saturday and the following Friday and Saturday, Adam Hahn as Seyton/Murderer 3/Servant
-Twelfth Night this weekend and next weekend in the Quad Cities, JC Luxton assistant directing
-Danny Wolf (#10 in the order, the guy in the western shirt) is in a band that will perform. I remember none of the details.
-That guy in the audience had a birthday
-Danielle is a horrible friend
1. From Just Another White Shark, The Skipper by Stephen Hiro
(song w/guitar: a sinking ship, a drinking song)
2. Why I Want to Go Back to 1987 by Eric Landuyt
(monologue: cool things from the late '80s, regret keeps Eric in the past)
3. Response to Last Week by Adam Hahn
(monologue/scene: Adam hates dogs/Martians, likes Ovaltine/Aprille's wedding, advises Eli, lactates)
4. Haunted House by the Michael Tabors
(song: don't have sex in the haunted house, or else you'll die and you'll die and you'll goddamn die)
5. The Story of Jonathan Adventure: Part One by Evan Schenck
(scene: first day of Dr. Adventure's Intro to Beardology class, he recruits a lady apprentice)
6. Distance and Overexposure by Cool Jesse Hates You and YOUR MOM
(monologue: Jesse on brother Jesus' unhappy birthday, bad father, and sad mother)
7. Inspiration, Sleep Deprivation, and a Story to Tell by Stacy Jones
(monologue: I'm not sure what this was about, but it was definitely written and performed by Stacy Jones)
8. The Most Wonderful Thing in My Life (NOT) by Danielle Santangelo Kovalick, Age 8
(monologue: 22-year-old Danielle reads a story by 8-year-old Danielle about 3-year-old Danielle and a gymnastics recital gone bad)
9. We Bad, That's Right We Bad by Patrick Ashcraft and Niles Krogstad
(scene: Patrick conquers Eric's insensitivity to rape by raping him)
10. Yes, We Have Moccasin Boots BY Danny Wolf
(song w/guitar and dropped harmonica)
11. The Big Bang Theory by Mirri "Rhymes with 'Theory'"
(scene: Mirri calls Travis with her theories on humanity, the universe, sex; if she wants to leave so badly, why is she outside of his door?)
12. Only the Beginning by John Leigh
(Aprille, pregnant w/Gomez clone, goes into painful labor. Ending confuses actors.)
13. Shattered Like that Guy at the End of Goldeneye by David Wilk, Eli's Pen Name
(monologue: Eli is a heartbreaker. audience response: No, he isn't.)
14. Spiral, Whee! by Sean Shatto
(monologue: Socratic method and physical demonstrations bring Sean to the center of the spiral, he brings the audience, our awareness of centrality casts us out)
15. Questions from an Actual Sex Ed Website with Hilarious Answers by Aprille Clarke
(monologue: the vagina IS a hole, Michael Tabor's semen fights cancer)
1. I Want to Scare You by Bobby Evers
(Bobby wears a scary clown mask, carries Katy onto stage, puts clown makeup on her, they leave. Creepy music plays.)
2. Adventures in Alliteration by Eric Landuyt
(Hero/damsel-in-distress themes, swordfighting, and the threat of forced sex, though alliteration and assonance.)
3. What's in my Pocket? by Brown Butt
(Aaron Galbraith taunts you about the contents of his pockets)
4. Scary Halloween Spooktacular by King Sophie
(Sad ghost is fed marshmallows, but they fall right out.)
4.5 The Return of Shelty Shakes Shelton by Eli Wilkinson & Jon Shelton
(Eli tickles Jonathan, then invites Katy from the audience to do the same, and later put her head on Jonathan's stomach, which horrifies her)
5. 300 is a Big Number by Lenslie Krappenface and Strackzy Honez
(Lenslie and Strackzy recount the events of the previous evening's orgiastic debauchery in varying degrees of detail to varying audiences)
6. What Do Love & Baseball Have in Common? Both True & Fiction by Danielle Santangelo Kovalil, Age 8
(From the vault, Danielle tells a story about her near-romance with Bo Jackson)
7. His Stenographer for Years by John Leigh
(Aprille and friend Belky Gelky quote knowledgeable sources on topics of morality and child therapy)
7.5 There's a train of Poop! Tim's True Tales by Timm Sitzman
(Tim's girlfriend accidentally called a lady Buh-jy-nuh when it was really By-ee-nuh)
8. Little Billy's Halloween Pie by Uncle Shelton
(Jonathan tells children a scary, cannibalistic story, then offers to touch them)
9. Old Poop Eye by King Toad
(musical performance from King Toad's new album Ion)
10. My Halloween at the Beach by Aprille Clarke
(Skeleton Head and Wolfman want to get married)
11. Hey Everybody, It's Bobby Evers's Birthday by Katy Baggs
(and he gets a thorough tickling out of it)
12. Poo Train, Poo Train! Come on Ride the Poo Train by Timm Sitzman
(the story of a washed-up jazz musician who's cross-eyed and can only play with his nubby hand)
13. Vampire Detective Frankenstein Party! by Adam Hahn
(Sherlock Holmes and Count Dracula meet at a party)
14. It's Time for Lunch by Bernice Wells Carlson
(It's time for lunch. Everyone should go out into the hallway and enjoy it)
15. Damn it, I Am Sexy No Matter What You Say and I'm gonna Prove It! Through Song and Dance by Eli Wilkinson
(Eli is interrupted by Patrick Ashcraft, who goes on to do a monologue about heartbreak, which he knows sounds cliché)
1. A Is For Elephant by The Michael Tabors
(song)
2. How to Make a Milkshake Machine Run by Jonathan Shelton
(Shelton, the drunk and angry owner of a milkshake shop, finally gives in and buys a milkshake machine.)
3. I am an Educator and a Role Model for Young People by Adam "Feet" Hahn
(Adam responds to apology letters (read out loud by D.K.) written to him by the students he subsitute taught. Things get a little out of hand.)
4. The Institue of Jugglology presents: A Guy, Two Girls, And Their Cucumber
(Juggling act which included a big knife and a cucumber)
5. Who's home? ...is it a ninja? by Sadie loves it when a ninja come home
(Monsters attack a guy. Another guy speculates that it was perhaps an elephant that gored him)
5.5 Must Have Beards by Not Michael Tabor
(Not a piece about Michael Tabor telling how he would rule the post apocolyptic world, but rather a piece where a guy without a beard can't stand by some dudes that do have beards and are holding up signs saying you have to have one)
6. We Are Anarchists by Eli Wilkinson
(Eli and Shelton hate all rules! Big Butt rules, laws of nature, everything!)
7. Pac Man Fever by Evan Shenck
(Some guys drive in a car and pretend they are pac man by driving on top of the line...a cop pulls them over...they eat a power pill and the cop gets scared!)
8. Not another Juggling Act ...Oh, wait, it is another Juggling Act - Nevermind by Jason Kollum
(another juggling act...this is the one where the guy made the neat stack of block and balanced them on his forehead and juggled five rings)
9. Family Skies by Patrick Ashcraft & Swepany Dell
(a family is disfunctional, but all love it when Hector shows up)
10. Daisy Pt. 26 by King Toad
(song)
11. Turn Your Frown Upside Down by Danielle Santangelo
(D.K. won't stop smiling...a couple guys try to get her to stop, but then one of the guys starts smiling too)
12. Happy Birthday, Mr. Man!! by Stephen Hiro
(song)
13. Abstinence-Only Sex Ed Songs by Eric Lundyt
(Eric gives a presentation on how you shouldn't have sex)
On the eleventh hour of the eleventh night of the eleventh month, the guns fell silent for No Shame Iowa City 11-11-05
1. The Fall of the House of Olsen by Alisa RosenthalAnnouncements included:
(scene: Olsen twins disagree over separation)
2. It's that Dance Marathon Time of Year Again by Tom Turkey, a.k.a. Sheltyshakes
(scene: John ignores Eli's torture, murder of a young boy)
3. Must Grow Beards by Michael Tabor
(monologue: preparation for post-apocalyptic survival)
4. Three Soup by Sticky Pull-Apart
(scene: Sadie learns to make leek soup)
5. Crunchy Crunchy Crunchy Crunchy Crunchy Crunchy Crunchy Crunchy Crunchy Crunchy Crunchy Crunchy by Sean Shatto
(improvised song with guitar)
6. Ask Dr. Eli or What Happens when You Write a Serious Monologue About Someone and They Come to the Show Last Minute, then Doesn't Show, Leaving Me with a Bad Piece Rather than a Good One by David Wilk
(scene: Johnny Carson parody, questions from the audience)
7. Doctor Adventure and the Court-Ordered Community Service by Evan Schenck
(scene: government scientist fields questions from elementary students)
8. Devoured in Time and Your Mom Is Angry but Yer Dad Done Told You Once so Listen or Else and The Happiest of You Are Already Dead by Cool Jesse
(scene: two friends listen to a song, Jesse depresses us)
9. A Monologue? by Timm Sitzmann
(monologue: the death of punk rock)
10. Thus Spake Zarathustra by Richard Strauss
(performance art: Sophie eats banana to 2001 soundtrack)
11. The Hurry Pattern by John Leigh
(scene: Aprille, attorneys, Denny in court)
14. What I Do with Taxpayer Money by Aprille Clarke
(monologue: lame job gives Aprille time to enjoy bizarre sculptural pornography on the internet)
13. Ryan's Love Letter as Read by Patrick as Interpreted by Volunteers from the Audience
(found art with reenactment by Leslie and Stacy)
12. Superheroes' Saddest Days #2-6 by Adam Hahn
(monologues)
Lip Synch Night
1. Sun-Wolf Medley by Eli WilkinsonAnnouncements Included:
(lip synch: "Little Red Ridin' Hood". "Let the Sun Shine In")
2. A Propagandhi Song by Sean Shatto
(lip synch)
2.5 Small Asian Vaginas by Eric Landuyt
(scene: two men discuss vaginae)
3. Cutsie Ootsie Wootsie by Danielle and Drew
(lip synch: "Will you Still Love Me Tomorrow?")
4. Family Skies 2 by Patrick Ashcraft's Evil Twin
(lip synch: Hector proposes to lighthouse keeper Leslie)
5. I Wanna Get by Jamal River
(lip synch to Cypress Hill: Jamal wants to get high)
6. You Won't Regret It by John Leigh
(Aprille confesses child-Gomez abuse to Becky/Belki)
7. A Song by Stuart Erb
(song with electric guitar)
8. The Mule Is by Michael "Silver" Tabor
(lip synch to Jamal's live "Love Potion No. 9")
9. Those Darn Dogs by Timm Sitzmann
(lip synch/execution to the Baha Men)
9.5 Grape Cider Overdrive by Eli Wilkinson
(Shelton admitting his love for lavender hand soap.)
10. That Crazy Lady from 'Trading Spouses': Remix by Aprille Clarke
(lip synch to weird techno)
11. I Gotta Man from Katy Baggs to Bobby Evers
(lip synch: Katie rejects Bobby's rapped advances)
12. We Are Here by Mirri
(Travis lip synchs to Mirri's live "We Are Here to Scare You-hoo-hoo")
13. Just a Gigolo by Eric Landuyt
(lip synch/striptease)
14. We Go Together by John Shelton
(lip synch to Grease)
15. Workaday #0: Earnest A. Starker by Adam Hahn
(lip synch to Britney Spears)
16. The Richard Cheese by Bernice Wells Carlson
(lip synch to lounge versions of dirty pop songs; shattered wine glass)
Hobbled-together Order, 12/2
Thanks to everyone who contributed to piecing this together (Tim especially).
1. shelton's pants mansion piece (Shelton inherits one peanut butter twix, but must spend the night in a haunted pants mansion)
2. patrick singing a song, Sadie thought for her but it was actually for Shelton who Patrick kissed
3. Eric's monolouge about a girl, possibly a theme of continual rejection
4. Timm Sitzmann "Nothing Special (A couple fights with interjecting quips from a third figure)
5. Dori - talking about her job as a dominatrix
6. Adam Hahn - "Three Beer Commercials You Will Never See on American Television" (threesome, suicide, vomit)
7. John Leigh - "Clone Love"?
8. Aprille's piece where she ate an omelette from her own egg
9. "Gustav & George" a scene from 2034 by Greg Machlin
10. Sean Shatto got our help doing a crossword.
11. Evan Schenck did his piece about overthrowing the No Shame board. Stage 5: Dragons!
12. Dirty 60 - "David Ogden Stires"
13. Cool Jesse - "Jesse Blaine is not here!"
Best of No Shame1. "How to Make Milkshake Machine Run," by Jonathan Shelton 2. "Parasites! Ouch!" by Bobby Evers 3. "Seven Minutes in Heaven," by Patrick Ashcraft 4. "Elbows, or Yellbows," by Sean Shatto 5. Pac Man by Evan Schenk 5.5 "Halloween Spooktacular," by King Sophie 6. "Exercise in Politeness: Penultimate Movement" by Alisa Rosenthal 7. "We Are Anarchists," by Eli Wilkinson 8. "Marianne, or How I Spent my Summer Vacation," by Adam Hahn 9. "Turn a Frown Upside Down," by Danielle Santangelo 10. A song from Just Another Shark by Steve Hiro 11. "Distance and Overexposure" by Cool Jesse Hates You and YOUR MOM 12. "Ouch, Stop it, Please," by Sadie Smith 13. "Ball Cap Follies," by Bernice Wells Carlson 13.5 "Popping the Question," by Katy Baggs 14. "Keep Your Friends Close and Your Friends Far, Far Away," by Timm Sitzmann 15. "What's Your Favorite Planet?" by Aprille Clarke 16. "In Your Town," a song by the Michael Tabors
