Time: Sat, 02-Dec-2000 22:12:18 GMT     IP: 63.25.167.20

This is the order for Best Of No Shame Fall 2000.  Performers: 
remember to bring an extra copy of your script for the light 
booth operator.

1)   You Never Forget An Elephant by Alyssa Bowman
2)   Fingernail Polish by Willie Barbour
3)   Don't Stop or We'll Die by Aaron "Got No Scroat" 
Galbraith
4)   This Monologue Does Not Love You by Mike Cassady
4.33)    The Fight by Chris Stangl
4.66)     Co-Dependant/Divorce Song or A New Song by Nozebone the 
Band
5)   Straight Man Stands Tall, Straight Man Conquers All by 
Alexxx, Steven Slye, and Benjamin Heinen
6)   Jumpin' Jack Flash Has Gas, Gas, Gas by Ryan Greenlaw
7)   All My Friends Have Been On The Cover Of Entertainment 
Weekly by Paul Rust
8)   This Is The Way We Rock The Fun House of Cool by Jamal 
River
8.33)     S'ghetti Meets Balls by Aaron Galbraith and Neil "Balls" 
Campbell
8.66)     Next to You or A New Song by Ben Schmidt
9)   More To Love by Aprille Clarke
10)    Elephant Memory and Cauliflower Ear by Arlen Lawson
11)    The Stand Up, The Omelet, The Bike Pump, The Penis by 
Mose Hayward
12)    FACE: A 3 Minute Play For Joanna and Her Friend by Al 
Angel
13)    Faithless by Chris Okiishi
13.5)     Underwater or A New Song by Jamal River
14)    The Newest Orphan by Neil "Balls" Campbell
15)    Kevin Spacey by Chris Stangl

James Brown is still the godfather of soul ya'll!  So check it 
out!

Balls

Time: Sat, 02-Dec-2000 22:47:51 GMT     IP: 166.62.171.67

No Shame Theatre
12-1-2000

Announcements/ BONS Order/ Order: Lange, A. Clarke, Campbell

1. "Comical Sketch on the Topic of Poor Parenting" by Chris 
Stangl
   [performed by Stangl, Lawson; family destroyed by pregnancy, 
reunited by liquor; comedy sketch]
2. "Restaurant Style Tostatdos" by Alyssa Bowman
   [Cassady, Campbell, Rust; Zef is best friends, Janice hates 
him, Al Gore is not mean; comedy sketch]
3. "He Woke Up and He Was in Love" by Willie Barbour
   [Barbour; man battles with libido, fat; dramatic monologue]
3.5. "Having the Mime of Your Life or Aunt Je-Mime-ma" by "Arlen 
Lawson"_ or Chris Stangl, Jamal River, Alyssa Bowman, with music 
by The A Capella Becks
   [River, Stangl, audience participation by Ryan Greenlaw; two 
mimes and a truckload of trouble!; mimetic comedy]
4. "The Exclamation Point That was Shaped Like a Question Mark" 
a song by Al "Tomato Man" Angel, performed by Nozebone the Band
   [Hansen, Clark; imaginary forms taken by love in the 
afflicted brain; song]
5. "Agnes Moorhead is Not a Euphemism" by Markus Markus 
Hansenfilms, Ltd.
   [Hansen; boy loses dad's foot, dog, searches Wall Street for 
both; comic monologue]
6. "A Monologue" by Sarah Masengarb
   [Masengarb; how to find reassurance in even frightening 
reoccurring dreams; autobiographical monologue]
7. "A Song" ["Hiya Moon"] by Kyle Lange
   [Lange; Kyle bids us farewell with upbeat acoustic number; 
song]
8. "Silence Is Golden- a 90 Second Expose" by Sam Negron and Tom 
Kovacs
   [Negron; ?; Rust; Kovacs; blind man beaten up, dialogue 
replaced with cue cards; comedy sketch]
8.5 "What's Your Anti-Drug" by The Violence Guys
   [Alexxx, Hienen, Slye; Marijuana rips apart lives of homeless 
man, suit, robber; cautionary comedy sketch]
9. "Tommy's Restaurant Tommy's" by Nozebone the Band, performed 
by King Toad
   [River; the pain of trading sex for sleep; song]
10. "Dirty Little Jokes or: Why Freud Hates the French" by 
Aprille Clarke
   [Greenlaw, Franklin, Clarke; French-death car accident 
interspersed with anatomy gags; comedy sketch]
11. "Crystal Pepsi" by Paul Rust
   [Rust, ?; speech on genius of Billy Crystal leads to 
violence, idiocy; multi-media comedy sketch]
12. "Distance Traveled is Equal to the Distance Left" by King 
Toad, performed by the Tomato Man
   [Angel; it's a long cold road to salvation; song]
13. "A Speech" by Merideth Nepstad
   [Nepstad; "_all ideas must face scrutiny_ When we cling to 
our beliefs too tightly, we become blinded"; persuasive speech]
14. "Wicked Awesome Cool Times" by Michael "Mike" Cassady and 
Neil "Balls" Campbell
   [Campbell, Cassady, Rust, Clarke, Lawson, Hansen; Multiple 
hideous ideas for comedy sketches converge in living nightmare; 
irri-tainment sketch]
15. "The Dead and the Weak" by Chris Stangl
   [Stangl; hideous, incompetent mortician ruins funerals, 
admires meteor shower; horror-comedy monologue]


What, I'm gonna have in my hand, boy, you ain't never gonna see 
it!

My Favorite Chris Stangl

Time: Sun, 03-Dec-2000 01:35:16 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.241

Here is a lousy review of the show.  It is lousy 'cause I wanted to 
fall asleep throughout the show.  Cause I was tired, not cause the 
show was boring.  But it was still boring.  And it's all the fault 
of the following people.

:Announcements/ BONS Order/ Order: Lange, A. Clarke, Campbell
announcements seemed to go a bit long.
:1. "Comical Sketch on the Topic of Poor Parenting" by Chris 
:Stangl
Fun.  perhaps the bitterest humor of any of C's short subjects so 
far.

:2. "Restaurant Style Tostatdos" by Alyssa Bowman
Smart and funny and wierd.  Would we expect any less from Alyssa 
now?  
:3. "He Woke Up and He Was in Love" by Willie Barbour
Another one of those pieces that barely earned its right to go on 
as long as it did.  It was worth the length, but it might have used 
soime trimming.
:3.5. "Having the Mime of Your Life or Aunt Je-Mime-ma" by "Arlen 
:Lawson"_ or Chris Stangl, Jamal River, Alyssa Bowman, with music 
:by The A Capella Becks
Extra fun and extra long.  Part of the fun was seeing The A Capella 
Becks record the song beforehand.  Much of the humor came from the 
fact that it lasted so long, but, wow.
:4. "The Exclamation Point That was Shaped Like a Question Mark" 
:a song by Al "Tomato Man" Angel, performed by Nozebone the Band
Good song, Al.  I think we wound up doing an alright job with it.
:5. "Agnes Moorhead is Not a Euphemism" by Markus Markus 
:Hansenfilms, Ltd.
This was great.  Mark is a genius at packing all the jokes he can 
into a single page and then delivering them to maximum effect.  Go 
boy.
:6. "A Monologue" by Sarah Masengarb
And speaking of great titles...  I really liked the 
conversationality of this monologue.  I like to be reminded once in 
a while that a theatre is not a place to pretend, but to BE.  Great 
energy, personality and confidence onstage are extremely rare in a 
newcomer, and this was one of those rare exceptions.  That said, I 
felt that this monologue suffered from a lot of structural 
problems.  The most obvious was the blackout during the winddown of 
it, which deflated the one line of genuine audience value.  This 
ties in to the other problem: it spent a lot of time describing 
images which were too personal to really seem of value to the 
audience.  The final statement summed up the value to her, and the 
*statement* was of value to the audience, but the images and 
narrative making up the bulk of the monologue provide nothing but 
background to that statement.
:7. "A Song" ["Hiya Moon"] by Kyle Lange
I have indeed heard this song before.  It was good then and it is 
good now.  Thanks for showing up when ya could, Kyle.
:8. "Silence Is Golden- a 90 Second Expose" by Sam Negron and Tom 
:Kovacs
This was a brief, cruel bit of theatre.  It was neither terribly 
violent, nor terribly novel.  What novelty it had, it drew from the 
choice to cast an actual blind man as a blind man.  Of course this 
added an element of interest and meta-theatricality.  Perhaps this 
could stand as a sort of challenge to all the pieces of the past 
which have followed a similar vein, but I didn't get the impression 
that that was really what they were trying to accomplish.
:8.5 "What's Your Anti-Drug" by The Violence Guys
Somebody mad a big mistake in dubbing these fellow the violence 
guys, because it sets up the expectation that all their pieces 
should involve violence, replete with the potential for 
dissapointment when that expectation is not fulfilled.  I'm certain 
these guys are capable of fantastic feats of theatre which involve 
no violence or grossness, but as yet this schtick has not worn out.  
The reason I mention alkl this in relation to this piece is that It 
seems fairly reasonable to assume that these guys, understanding 
the audience's desire to see violence in their pieces included here 
the actions which led to the damaging of the scrim, which in turn 
made the "pretend" part of the piece pretty difficult to 
appreciate.  This is a shame, since they had a pretty brilliant 
ending.
:9. "Tommy's Restaurant Tommy's" by Nozebone the Band, performed 
:by King Toad
Nozebone (that's Johnny Handsome and I) wrote this! King Toad made 
it awesome!
:10. "Dirty Little Jokes or: Why Freud Hates the French" by 
:Aprille Clarke
This is about the time in the evening when I was really getting 
sleepy.  I remember liking that this piece seemed to bring together 
the french hating stuff of the past with an interesting 
philosophical twist, but I can't remember how.
:11. "Crystal Pepsi" by Paul Rust
Funny how completely Rust was able to recontextualize the video 
clip for his own purposes.  Sleepy. 
:12. "Distance Traveled is Equal to the Distance Left" by King 
:Toad, performed by the Tomato Man
You had to start over, that's okay.  It still rocked.
:13. "A Speech" by Merideth Nepstad
Well, this was a good essay presented well, but it sure didn't feel 
like appropriate material for the NS audience.  I was interested in 
hearing what she had to say, but would rather have been sleeping.
:14. "Wicked Awesome Cool Times" by Michael "Mike" Cassady and 
:Neil "Balls" Campbell
I think I slept right through this.  I don't remember it anyway.
:15. "The Dead and the Weak" by Chris Stangl
Something funny happened here.  I can remember that it was much as 
the little blurb C. posted described it, but I was too asleep to 
have any type of valuable reaction.


Sorry this review is so lousy.  Sorry I fell almost asleep during 
your piece.  Sorry about not sharing my french fries with Arlen.  
Sorry about messing up Al and Aprille for car rides.  Sorry I'm 
wasting your time apologizing so much.  Sorry Balls' real middle 
name isn not really Balls.  Sorry I couldn't remember the name of 
that movie you saw the end of on Bravo two years ago.  I am truly 
sorry, sorry about all this.  Song exchange!

RMNLC

Time: Sun, 03-Dec-2000 06:51:18 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.96

8. "Silence Is Golden- a 90 Second Expose" by Sam Negron and Tom 
Kovacs
This was a brief, cruel bit of theatre.  It was neither terribly 
violent, nor terribly novel.  What novelty it had, it drew from 
the 
choice to cast an actual blind man as a blind man.  Of course 
this 
added an element of interest and meta-theatricality.  Perhaps 
this 
could stand as a sort of challenge to all the pieces of the past 
which have followed a similar vein, but I didn't get the 
impression 
that that was really what they were trying to accomplish.

The purpose of my skits is not to portray myself as a blind guy, 
but to amuse, and to tell a story with some sort of a moral.  The 
last skit I did was the only one in which I was supposed to be a 
blind person.  My "brother" character was an asshole that said "I 
never would have seen it coming." This quote was intended to be 
ironic only to people who knew I was visually impaired.  
My "Stake and Sex" monologue was all me, and true.  I read from a 
braille sctipt because that is the only way I could perform 
without making mistakes.  Hope this clearifys things a little.  
Remember a braille script is no more a prop than a typed script 
is a prop.

Thanks, and see you next week.

Sam Negron

Time: Sun, 03-Dec-2000 18:53:48 GMT     IP: 205.244.163.64

Firt of all, let me apologize to everyone that a mediocre review wound up being posted eleven
times on here.  I have no clue how it 
happened, so I'm not sure how to prevent it happening in the future.  If anyone has any ideas,
make them known, for the good of all 
who use this forum.

Secondly, as regards the comment below, I can see now how poorly worded it is.  What I meant
to say was that the similarity it bore 
to other NS pieces, not by Negron and Kovacs in which a cruel thing happens to a disabled
person made the value of this piece seem 
to be in that it challenged those previous, non-Negron / Kovacs pieces... yet I did not get a clear
sense at any point that it was N/K's 
intent to do so.

Hopefully this one gets posted no more than eight times.
-Nick

Time: Tue, 05-Dec-2000 04:35:47 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.112

if you want to play music go to a coffee house
when I come to no-shame theater I want to see THEATER

Time: Tue, 05-Dec-2000 05:59:36 GMT     IP: 166.62.171.39

:if you want to play music go to a coffee house
:
when I come to no-shame theater I want to see THEATER
:
If you wanna lick my ass, I think that'd be best. When I go to No 
Shame I want to see NoseBone the BAND!

Katy

Time: Tue, 05-Dec-2000 07:19:34 GMT     IP: 206.230.238.56

"if i want music, i'll go to a coffEE house"
really?
well...
if i want coffEE i go to a coffEE house.
if i want music i go to an entertainment venue like no shame
if i want smart ass comments from clueless fuckholes, i go to my 
blind friend's house

my friend is blind

hope this helps...

-fairschlauger

Time: Tue, 05-Dec-2000 07:25:32 GMT     IP: 206.230.238.56

i agree with Roger.  i hate blind people.

kudos to Roger for saying what we were all thinking.

thats what no shame is to me.

love and skidmarks,

-H.P.

Time: Tue, 05-Dec-2000 07:29:40 GMT     IP: 206.230.238.56

listen, you.  i am quite certain roger was not accosting blind 
people in his admittedly racist comments.  i have a blind friend 
who is great.  sure, he sometimes defends his use of a braille 
script even though nobody ever criticized him for using a 
braille script, and that was never the issue, or even remotely 
close to the issue.  but hey he is still great. maybe a little 
grating sometimes! no i am kidding. he also cooks a mean pie.

i am drunk so drunk.

i miss rothcocksaregood.

f

Time: Tue, 05-Dec-2000 07:36:27 GMT     IP: 206.230.238.56

i have a lot to say about the blind.  but more importantly, 
roger, i have a lot to say about the music.  Gnosegone, or 
whatever the fuck they're called, through their admittedly anti-
semitic lyrics, have touched this goyish soul.  roger, you want 
more sketches about asses and what they do to people?  about the 
french and their asses and what they do to people?

yes.

so do i.

in between i want tunes.  sweet tunes to take my troubles away 
on a boat.  

im blushing.

i am hairier than the grumpiest troll.

-stubble (in bed!.....)

Time: Tue, 05-Dec-2000 07:39:02 GMT     IP: 206.230.238.56

it wasn't.

that wasn't a for real stubble.

a for real stubble would never blush.

i am a mystical elf.

drunk on booze...

-a sad drunken clown

Time: Tue, 05-Dec-2000 07:42:28 GMT     IP: 206.230.238.56

i thought i would clear things up by listing some of our 
favorite blind celebrities

dan rather
kim marra (1/2)
christoper reeve (i think--he fucked something up, right?)
bill cosby (recently deceased)
and
paul rust

and may this put an end to this pointless and LACKLUSTER debate.

m

Time: Tue, 05-Dec-2000 16:06:36 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.51

All right, I've got something to say to Roger and everyone else 
can read it;

You can like music or hate music, and you can say that.  It 
doesn't fucking matter to me.  But, there's something really low 
about telling people to stop playing their music at No Shame 
because it is a theatre venue.  Who are you to say that one form 
of art is higher than another?

No Shame is beautiful because it is a place where anything 
goes.  It gives all kinds of performers a chance to toy with 
their own material, develop their skills, have a little fun, 
yada yada yada.  Get the picture?  The biggest restriction in 
the No Shame rule book is that you can't damage anything in the 
theatre, not "None of you fuckers can write anything displeasing 
to Roger Kaputnick because he thinks he's special."

Admitingly, I go to No Shame expecting a cheap laugh, but there 
hasn't been a week that I haven't gotten something else out of 
it.

Enough ranting;
Tom

Time: Tue, 05-Dec-2000 17:56:19 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.146

:All right, I've got something to say to Roger and everyone else 
:can read it 

Ohhhhhhhhhhh, Roger can't read. He's illiterate. Here's a list of 
celebrities I love who are illiterate:
1. You
2. Me
3. Paul Rust

Sucksusksucksuskcuskdu7cksuskisucisu7sisudifjfoi
That's what I think of noserboner the band!!!!

Slurp slurp

Time: Tue, 05-Dec-2000 20:18:02 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.37

Yeah, there's only three rules, and none of em say what KIND of
performance.  Funny or sad or silly or serious or music or silent
or poetic or awkward or rambunctious or dull as long as it's
original, five minutes or less (ha), and doesn't damage the space
or its occupants.

Time: Wed, 06-Dec-2000 00:57:37 GMT     IP: 205.188.195.22

Time to pipe in from the wasteland (Chicago burbs)

1. I think music is an integral part of what makes No Shame such 
an important event for IC artists. First, it's cool to hear 
music live, no matter what the setting. Second, not everybody 
who performs is an actor (thank god) and singing at No Shame is 
the way they can expose us to their art without us having to go 
to them just to hear it. Should we not allow juggling 
performances because it's not "acting". What about poetry? It's 
not really "theatre". What about people sticking plungers in 
their butts? It's not "Shakespeare" (No Coriolanus jokes, 
please). Who is anyone to say what is worthy of being seen? I 
think the best aspect of music at No Shame is that it gives a 
show different textures and sounds, really making it a night of 
performance instead of comedy skits and guys showing their ball 
sacs. Music is just as a real a form of performance as 
monologues or sketches, and I think it's important to embrace it 
for what it is. But that's just me. Besides, coffee shops are 
lame.

2. Bill Cosby is not dead. I should know, I'm researching celebs 
for my 2001 dead pool. Go Harry Secombe!

3. What's this about operas in Theatre B? 

4. Is St. Louis really going to miss the playoffs after starting 
out 6-0? Stay tuned folks.

peace to all

mike

Time: Wed, 06-Dec-2000 01:07:13 GMT     IP: 63.42.174.245

Guess what?  We, the esteemed board of No Shame Theatre, goofed. 
We meant to put Kehry Lane's Maybe Grandma Was the Big Bad Wolf 
into the order for Best of No Shame, but we plum forgot!  Ha ha 
ho!  But now it IS in the order, as piece number 10.5. So the 
revised order looks something like this:

1)   You Never Forget An Elephant by Alyssa Bowman
2)   Fingernail Polish by Willie Barbour
3)   Don't Stop or We'll Die by Aaron "Got No Scroat" 
Galbraith
4)   This Monologue Does Not Love You by Mike Cassady
4.33)    The Fight by Chris Stangl
4.66)     Co-Dependant/Divorce Song or A New Song by Nozebone the 
Band
5)   Straight Man Stands Tall, Straight Man Conquers All by 
Alexxx, Steven Slye, and Benjamin Heinen
6)   Jumpin' Jack Flash Has Gas, Gas, Gas by Ryan Greenlaw
7)   All My Friends Have Been On The Cover Of Entertainment 
Weekly by Paul Rust
8)   This Is The Way We Rock The Fun House of Cool by Jamal 
River
8.33)     S'ghetti Meets Balls by Aaron Galbraith and Neil "Balls" 
Campbell
8.66)     Next to You or A New Song by Ben Schmidt
9)   More To Love by Aprille Clarke
10)    Elephant Memory and Cauliflower Ear by Arlen Lawson
10.5)  Maybe Grandma Was The Big Bad Wolf by Kehry Lane
11)    The Stand Up, The Omelet, The Bike Pump, The Penis by 
Mose Hayward
12)    FACE: A 3 Minute Play For Joanna and Her Friend by Al 
Angel
13)    Faithless by Chris Okiishi
13.5)     Underwater or A New Song by Jamal River
14)    The Newest Orphan by Neil "Balls" Campbell
15)    Kevin Spacey by Chris Stangl

It's gonna be pretty great, eh?  

AND PLEASE REMEMBER: bring an extra copy of your script for the 
light board operator.  Also, if you've written a sketch and it's 
in the Best of No Shame, it's probably a pretty safe bet to 
assume that your actors will not be able to find the original 
script you gave them, or they'll forget to bring it, so make 
sure to bring enough copies of the script for your actors as 
well.  For example, Al Angel, I cannot find my old copy of your 
piece FACE, so I will need you to provide me with a fresh copy 
come BONS.

Thank you and enjoy the music.

Balls

Time: Thu, 07-Dec-2000 16:26:11 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.33

This is how I see it:  No Shame is a sketch comedy show, not 
some grandiose display of false talent by hacks who are 
too "deep" for their art.  I thouroughly enjoy most of the 
pieces at the shows, but it dissapoints me to come to this board 
room and see people trash a little comedy bit that was never 
supposed to do anything than get a couple of laughs, when pieces 
that try to soar above the fields of acting and comedy into the 
realm of psuedo-intellectual performance art.  Also, if Balls 
can take part in a skit like "Love that Butt," or whatever it 
was called, which relied solely on shock value, then I don't see 
how anyone else can be criticized for not having a supposed 
deeper meaning to their skit.  

My favorite skits this semester:

Mr. Rogers
Homemade apendectemy
That one chick applying to Bush to be secretary of the interior
The one about the day kennedy was shot

Granted, I am grossly non-informed as to the actual names of 
these skits and their authors, but I knows what I likes, and it 
is intelligent--but not intelluctual--humor.

Mort

Time: Thu, 07-Dec-2000 17:10:13 GMT     IP: 63.42.174.70

:I thouroughly enjoy most of the 
:pieces at the shows, but it dissapoints me to come to this board 
:room and see people trash a little comedy bit that was never 
:supposed to do anything than get a couple of laughs

Mort, I must say I'm more than a little confused by your post.  
To whom are you responding?  What did you read that spurred you 
to write that? What "little comedy bit" are you referring to that 
you liked but people here in the board room didn't like?  It 
makes it hard to respond to your post when we don't know what, 
specifically, you're writing about.

:Also, if Balls 
:can take part in a skit like "Love that Butt," or whatever it 
:was called, which relied solely on shock value, then I don't see 
:how anyone else can be criticized for not having a supposed 
:deeper meaning to their skit.  

I'm also not sure what "Love that Butt" is, but I'm going to go 
out on a limb and guess that you mean "S'ghetti Meets Balls." 
Which, might have shocked some people, sure, but if it had 
relied "solely" on shock value we wouldn't have had dialogue. It 
also relied on horror and confusion, more so than simple shock. 
You're making things too simple by writing about pieces 
having "deeper meaning." Every piece has a meaning beyond what's 
put on stage. Even if the writer simply was going for "a couple 
of laughs", meaning will still arise in the minds of the 
audience. It's inevitable. Funny how meaning works like that. 
What it comes down to, though, is how innovative was the stuff 
that was put on stage?  Was it something new and from out of 
nowhere, or was it something hackneyed and stale that we've all 
seen before?

Also, why would it be that if I appear in a sketch like that then 
nobody else could be criticized for appearing in similar 
sketches? I'm not above being criticized in this board room.  I 
have been criticized in this board room, on many an occasion.  I 
can't think of anybody who hasn't been. So if I do something 
stupid, it doesn't mean nobody else can be criticized for doing 
something stupid as well.  Criticize me, criticize the other 
people, criticize everybody.

ON A DIFFERENT SUBJECT:
Today is Thursday and everyone should find a copy of the Daily 
Iowan today and read the story about No Shame.  It contains a 
true-to-life Alyssa Bowman quote!

Balls out

Time: Thu, 07-Dec-2000 21:01:04 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.33

   Actually, Neil, I believe Mort was referring to Al's "The Death 
of Dan Brooks," in which I can find not one bit of shock humor.

:This is how I see it:  No Shame is a sketch comedy show, not 
:some grandiose display of false talent by hacks who are 
:too "deep" for their art.

   I don't think of No Shame as a show, so much.  In fact, what I 
have written/performed I have done for very selfish reasons.  
   I was going to try to clarify that, but opted not to.
   There is, however, a considerable degree of actual factual 
talent at No Shame, and a good deal of this IS only used to "get a 
couple of laughs."  See the enormously talented Jamal River be 
silly 'til it hurts.  See Mike Cassady get SO respected for 
writing things that are not "psuedo-intellectual(sic) performance 
art," but that are still damn funny.  And "hack" tends to mean a 
writer who gets paid.  Nobody at No Shame gets paid.
   Anybody can write their opinion in this board room.  You can.  
You have.  Generally, if a No Shame critic holds a low opinion of 
a No Shame piece, it's not because the piece wasn't trying to be 
something more than a comedy sketch (It is a minority of No Shame 
pieces that do try for more) but because said critic didn't think 
the piece was good, didn't think the comedy sketch was funny, 
interesting.

:My favorite skits this semester:
:
:Mr. Rogers
:Homemade apendectemy
:That one chick applying to Bush to be secretary of the interior
:The one about the day kennedy was shot
:
:Granted, I am grossly non-informed as to the actual names of 
:these skits and their authors, but I knows what I likes, and it 
:is intelligent--but not intelluctual--humor.
:
:Mort


   Wow.  When I wrote Homemade apendectomy, I was VERY pretentious 
about it, going so far as to actually try to say something pretty 
with it.  Hm.
   Well, I'm glad that aspect escaped your attention enough that 
you were able to appreciate the jokes.

        - Arlen

Time: Thu, 07-Dec-2000 22:41:38 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.33

I admit, I was seriously vague in my comments.  And as for 
homemade appendectemy, I did see the meaning in it, but I still 
enjoyed it, because it made its meaning well known and wasn't so 
pretentious as to assume that it was above making its point 
known.  I'm not really referring to other skits that don't make 
their points know as of now.  In fact, I may just be getting 
stuff off my chest that has nothing to do with No Shame, because 
I have become pretty disallusioned with the arts in general 
lately.  It's the whole notion that people should grasp 
unintended meaning from art.  I just don't buy it.  I think that 
either a person is trying to express something, or they aren't, 
and a third party's interpretation shouldn't change that.  Once 
again, however, it is likely that I am not writing at all about 
No Shame, but about the arts in general.  So I'm sorry for using 
this board room as a forum in which to unburden myself.  The 
truth is, I enjoy most No Shame sketches.  I had just heard 
people saying that some of the top people at no shame criticize 
other pieces for not being intellectual enough.  I don't even 
really know if this is true, so I apologize again.

Time: Fri, 08-Dec-2000 03:12:27 GMT     IP: 24.183.162.188

     When is the No Shame CD coming out?

Time: Fri, 08-Dec-2000 03:53:04 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

:     When is the No Shame CD coming out?
                                                                      The No Shame CD is gay?  I hope it comes out
soon so we can get past this awkward phase.

Time: Sat, 09-Dec-2000 09:15:17 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.86

:Guess what?  We, the esteemed board of No Shame Theatre, goofed.

Oh, yeah, you bet you did.  Your "best of" order was not only far 
too long, packed with board members' pieces, and too expensive, 
but it wasn't funny.  Even when it tried.  I've been to No Shame 
only once previous to tonight, so I saw most of these for the 
first time and didn't bother to see what anyone else had to say 
about them earlier in the postings... but I heard a lot of 
complaining from people who attended with me that there had been 
substantial revisions to some of the pieces that made them less 
funny.  Something to consider: if it's picked because it was 
funny, you'll probably screw it up by trying to make it funnier.  
Don't beat a healthy horse to death.

:1)  You Never Forget An Elephant by Alyssa Bowman
Can't remember it now.  It was 3.5 hours ago, and the title isn't 
jogging my memory.  Sorry, Alyssa Bowman.

:2)  Fingernail Polish by Willie Barbour
Liked this one a lot.  But it was also the first 
testosterone-driven, sexual piece of the night, so I was probably 
quite a bit more receptive to that sort of thing at this point.  
On the other hand, he made skillful use of buildup and actually 
made a point.  But on an unrelated note, I'm pulling for Willie in 
his surgery Monday.  Best of luck to him.

:3)  Don't Stop or We'll Die by Aaron "Got No Scroat" 
:Galbraith
Didn't get it the first time.  Didn't get it this time.  At least 
it was consistent.  But I did laugh because the very false 
laughter of the two men was just something to react to with 
laughter.  Not so much the second time, since I was waiting for 
the AIDS line, though.  (This is, by the way, the only sketch I 
had seen before.)

:4)  This Monologue Does Not Love You by Mike Cassady
Another one I can't remeber... too long ago.

:4.33)    The Fight by Chris Stangl
Weird, but brief.  In retrospect, brief was very, very good.  
Getting into the blatant sexual stuff that began to get old, 
though.

:4.66)    Co-Dependant/Divorce Song or A New Song by Nozebone the 
:Band
I couldn't hear this.  The singers were facing away from me, and 
the acoustics just weren't that hot.

:5)  Straight Man Stands Tall, Straight Man Conquers All by 
:Alexxx, Steven Slye, and Benjamin Heinen
Mullets are funny.  The referee thing was, too.  I was very 
confused by the majority of the skit, especially since I was 
really, really distracted by the television.  Bathroom humor is 
very easy, but attracts attention like a bad car accident.  For 
the most part, unamusing.  Only those two good parts.

:6)  Jumpin' Jack Flash Has Gas, Gas, Gas by Ryan Greenlaw
Couldn't hear him, which is a pity, because I remember him being a 
funny guy in high school.  Something about cooking in an oven?

:7)  All My Friends Have Been On The Cover Of Entertainment 
:Weekly by Paul Rust
This one was great.  But I wouldn't want to be Paul's friend.  I 
don't know quite what appealed to me about it--maybe how far he 
reached to make some people remind him of stars--but he did 
something right.

:8)  This Is The Way We Rock The Fun House of Cool by Jamal 
:River
Was this the one with Chris Stangl hanging his balls outside his 
pants?  The initial shock value wore off, and the rest of the skit 
wasn't funny.  It was also way, way too long.  What happened to 
five minutes?

:8.33)    S'ghetti Meets Balls by Aaron Galbraith and Neil "Balls" 
:Campbell
Gross.  Not funny.  Maybe it would have been if I'd been able to 
understand any of their lines, but the music was too loud to hear 
them.  Was it supposed to be from something famous?

:8.66)    Next to You or A New Song by Ben Schmidt
This was probably the highlight of the evening for me.  Ben 
Schmidt reminds me strongly of Stuart Davis, who is probably my 
favorite musician.  I'm probably the only one who's heard of him, 
but check out his website, stuartdavis.com, Ben, and see him next 
time you get the chance.  I'd say, though, that the speakers 
didn't do much for your performance--they were too loud.  If you 
really did sell your car for them... well, sorry.

:9)  More To Love by Aprille Clarke
Funny and meaningful.  But saved itself from being too meaningful 
with that last line.  Kudos to Aprille.

:10)   Elephant Memory and Cauliflower Ear by Arlen Lawson
Too long.  Not that funny.  And rather pointless.

:10.5)  Maybe Grandma Was The Big Bad Wolf by Kehry Lane
Did this actually wind up being performed?  I don't remember it, 
either.

:11)   The Stand Up, The Omelet, The Bike Pump, The Penis by 
:Mose Hayward
Was this the one with the excessive screaming and the guy with the 
patches all over his pants?  If so... get an original idea for 
your humoristic (is that a word?) style.  It's been done, and it 
sucked the first time, anyway.

:12)   FACE: A 3 Minute Play For Joanna and Her Friend by Al 
:Angel
Also can't remember.

:13)   Faithless by Chris Okiishi
Very disturbing, exactly as it should be.  And beautiful.

:13.5)    Underwater or A New Song by Jamal River
Also couldn't hear this one, really, except for screaming 
"Underwater!" occasionally.

:14)   The Newest Orphan by Neil "Balls" Campbell
Sad and funny.  He almost made me feel bad for laughing at him... 
until the masturbation bit.  But then I was just disgusted because 
of the overuse of sex.

:15)   Kevin Spacey by Chris Stangl
Scary.  But I did find out some new things about Kevin Spacey.  I 
was so tired and ready to leave at this point, though, that I'm 
not sure if it was unamusing because of that or because it wasn't 
very funny.

I don't know which one the horny grandma was, but it was early 
enough that I wasn't totally disgusted with the sex humor yet.  
Any later and it would have been enough to make me leave.  I 
wonder if the protagonist noticed that his poor mother was turning 
purple?  Or that his father left early?  It was more than a bit 
excessive, and the choice of a male as the grandmother was utterly 
incomprehensible.

A note about the pieces I couldn't hear: I was in the 5th or 6th 
row.  Projection is a good thing and not just an exercise in drama 
class.

Finally, I was overall very disappointed in the show.  The board 
ought to know better than to pack this show so tightly with their 
own pieces and the pieces of their pet regulars.  The usual 
tossed-together shows have been far more funny.  And, thankfully, 
much shorter.

Time: Sat, 09-Dec-2000 17:27:20 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

:I don't know which one the horny grandma was, but it was early 
:enough that I wasn't totally disgusted with the sex humor yet.  
:Any later and it would have been enough to make me leave.  I 
:wonder if the protagonist noticed that his poor mother was 
:turning purple?  Or that his father left early?  It was more
:than a bit excessive, and the choice of a male as the
:grandmother was utterly incomprehensible.

The unfortunate thing about this piece is that other than the bit 
where the grandmother rubs her crotch in her son's face, it's 
almost 100% true.  If Mom was freaking out, it was probably 
because dirty laundry is no fun in public if it's your own, and if 
Dad left early, well, ditto--and besides, most parents go to bed 
earlier than that.

In other news, some basic math:  There were 21 pieces. (!!!!) 
Let's say the first skit began at 11:15pm, given late seating and 
announcements/order--I didn't check the time at that point, so 
it's a guess.  Given that the show ended around 1:40am, that means 
the show was two hours and twenty-five minutes long.  Which means 
that the average piece was 6.9 MINUTES LONG!!!  I don't care how 
funny or wonderful something is at that point; everything loses 
its luster in that kind of lineup.  And yes, the house was full to 
overflowing, but everyone who left early is out there making Bad 
Publicity for No Shame.  And granted, No Shame isn't right for 
everyone, and some of 'em may have just been there after reading 
the DI article to see what it was all about.  But I know 
long-time fans who gave up before this show was over.

Two things come to mind that might possibly help this kind of 
situation.  (I know no one's asked, but as someone who was just 
there to watch the show, I'm responding..)

1) Some form of policing of the five-minute rule.  You couldn't 
have 21 pieces with an average length right at 7 minutes long if 
you hadn't let people run with that kind of behavior all semester. 
 You could do the might dimming thing, or build in an audience 
participation thing with a big clock (where they call count down 
5-4-3-2-1 at the end of five minutes, and then you've got thirty 
seconds to wrap it up or they'll stomp till you leave the 
stage)...  AUDIENCE: THAT'S A HINT.  IF YOU FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT 
THIS, EXPRESS YOURSELVES.  And of course, self-policing by 
performers is always an option, but that won't happen until the 
board starts setting an example.  No one wants to enforce the rule 
because they'd have to live by it too, so the problem continues.  
If some folks would at least make a stab at reviving the short, 
kick-in-the-stomach-funny variety of comedy, perhaps others would 
re-recognize it's value and there'd be a balance of shorter and 
longer pieces, but until that day something has to happen to curb 
the long ones.

2) Yes, this was a list, I just got long-winded and tangential.  
The second thing that comes to mind to cure events like last 
night's show:  Come up with a mission statement for the Best of No 
Shame.  I've always experienced it as a vague thing with elements 
of "that was way cool, let's pick it" but a really strong dose of 
"we should include so-and-so."  Having been in the position of 
selecting pieces before, I know how difficult it is to avoid the 
latter, but I personally believe the mission of the Best of No 
Shame should be a concise show of WHAT THE AUDIENCE WILL ENJOY THE 
MOST.  Not what the regular attenders will enjoy (a show laden 
with inside jokes and oddities) or what the performers think was 
"their best work"--which sometimes, regardless of how personally 
they feel about stuff, is simply not the most enjoyable of their 
material.  Rather, what a 450-person Best of No Shame audience 
would enjoy, given that in addition to regular attenders you'll 
also have a load of first-timers and infrequent attenders.  I'm 
not suggesting it should all be funny, but it should be the Best, 
not some Personal Favorites.  I know Best is horribly subjective, 
and maybe what I'm talking about is pandering to a different 
audience than No Shame wants to court, but I would have a very 
hard time believing that a show that would appeal to that general 
audience wouldn't also be appreciated by everyone else.  So if you 
come up with a mission statement (cheesy, yes, but potentially 
effective) to help clarify the basis on which pieces are to be 
selected, and make it clear in that statement that you aren't 
dissing anyone who isn't selected by that you're going for FIFTEEN 
PIECES that will go over particularly well as reruns, you'll 
probably come up with a much, much better show.

Just my four cents...

Love,
Adam

Time: Sat, 09-Dec-2000 19:05:22 GMT     IP: 64.6.68.95

Why was the show so long and boring?

1) We, the board, put in far too many pieces. This was a mistake. 
Talking with fellow board members after the show, we all agreed on 
this.  We will learn from this mistake.

2) This has a lot to do with what Adam posted. While some of the 
pieces were indeed the performer's best work, the BONS audience 
needs to be watching high-energy work in order to stay interested. 
And a lot of the best work this semester was more on the somber 
side, so while it may have worked in a more intimate setting like 
Theatre B, it failed at BONS. BONS is a huge monster of a thing 
where intimacy has little to no place. The space is bigger, so the 
pieces need to be bigger, in terms of energy and performance. We 
just tried to select a performer's best piece and did not take 
all of that into account. Once again, this was a mistake from 
which we will learn.

3)  A couple of performers performed pieces that had not been 
selected for BONS.  And the pieces that they did perform were 
about three times as long and one-tenth as good as the pieces we 
chose. These were pieces that did not deserve to get into BONS and 
should not have been there. NOTE TO PERFORMERS: If there are 
pieces that you would not like to do again for BONS, post 
something here saying that you would like for such-and-such a 
piece to not be considered. However, the main reasons the show was 
such a stinker are the first two reasons I listed. I'm not trying 
to pin all the complaints about BONS on the performers that did 
new pieces, but they were definitely a part of the problem, if 
even just a small part.

I don't think, as Adam suggested, we need a clock or anything like 
that.  I think we, as the board, just need to be more aware of a 
BONS audience's expectations when selecting pieces. And maybe this 
is just a pipe dream of mine, but if a performer has a piece 
selected for BONS, it would be nice if they could edit it and 
tighten it up a bit.  Go back to the reviews when the piece was 
first performed and see what people didn't like about it.  I'm all 
for editing and revising pieces for BONS, but I'm not a fan of 
doing a different piece entirely.

Also, as a note to Kelcey, check out the order again.  It is not 
"packed" with board members' pieces.  One member of the board did 
not even get a piece into BONS.  So four out of five board members 
got one piece in each, with Chris Stangl also getting a short 
piece ("The Fight") in and myself getting a short piece in on 
which I collaborated with someone else ("S'ghetti Meets Balls"). 
In addition, if you judge the value of every piece (that wasn't a 
song) on whether it was funny or not, you're going to miss out on 
a lot of stuff. Reserve that kind of judgement for sitcoms.  Keep 
a more open mind regarding what kind of reactions a piece may be 
attempting to provoke, and whether or not it was successful in 
that regard, when you're at No Shame. 

So yes, I'm disappointed in the show. But you know what? Now we 
know what not to do.  It sucks that it had to happen this way, but 
this BONS turned out to be something of learning experience. Next 
semester's BONS will be a streamlined ass-kicking experience. I 
will wager Stubble's life on that.

Your Friend,

Balls 

Time: Sat, 09-Dec-2000 20:36:17 GMT     IP: 207.165.237.210

:
I don't think, as Adam suggested, we need a clock or anything 
like 
:
that.  I think we, as the board, just need to be more aware of a 
:
BONS audience's expectations when selecting pieces. 

I don't think timing the pieces and then dimming the lights would 
be a bad idea; the 5 minute rule isn't just a problem at BONS, 
it's always getting trampled. I do think the audience stamping 
their feet would be very unpleasant, though. It seems to me 
people would start stamping during any piece they found boring or 
otherwise displeasing, regardless of whether it had gone over 5 
minutes or not. How awful! Please stop it! 

Ouch, that smarty! 

Blah blahg. Pee you. 

Time: Sat, 09-Dec-2000 22:17:41 GMT     IP: 64.6.71.26

:I don't think timing the pieces and then dimming the lights would 
:be a bad idea; the 5 minute rule isn't just a problem at BONS, 
:it's always getting trampled.  I am Jamal River. 

Yes.  True.  Mayhaps we should experiment with timing/dimming next 
semester.  Warn people in advance that that's how the show is 
going to be run, and then see if it causes people to edit 
themselves more and tighten their writing, or if it just alienates 
everybody. I feel the same way about No Shame as I do about any 
play: once it gets to about two hours, it's getting to be way too 
long.  An hour and a half (or less) is about perfect for a play, 
methinks. Or a No Shame. So it seems like it wouldn't hurt to at 
least try the timing/dimming thing at least once. I would like a 
fast and furious No Shame.  I would like that a lot.

What think YOU?

Also (and these ideas are just pouring out of me now), maybe BONS 
should have a rehearsal next semester, just to work out the 
transitions between pieces.  Those were a bit lengthy last night, 
and anything we could do to speed up the set changes might be well 
worth it.

What THINK you?

John Turturro,

Balls

Time: Sat, 09-Dec-2000 23:15:48 GMT     IP: 128.255.175.116



Well, I didn't think the show was so horribly long and 
boring -- and I have probably physiological difficulty with 
attention (though there were the mitigating circumstances of my 
being both crazy in love with No Shame and not at all tired at 
that point in my day).  I came away happy, and so did my friend 
who had only seen one show this semester.  I left thinking good 
things even though I had been almost unendurably hot during the 
entire show and by the end my vinyl pants were stuck to me like 
decoupage, and even though every time I laughed it caused 
excruciating spasms of pain in my lower back.  And that was a lot 
of laughing.  I really liked the show is what I'm trying to say.

"Audience participation" regarding piece length seems like it 
would make some people never come back.  But even dimming the 
lights seems like not such a good idea.  Some of us are terrified 
enough of being on stage, I think that alerting the audience and 
performer during the piece that the time limit has expired would 
be extremely distressing.  And what is the point?  Do you want 
people to stop if they know 5 minutes have passed?  I would much 
rather see a whole piece than a short one.  Why not time the 
pieces and AFTER the show tell people who went over time that they 
did so and had better knock it off.  This would have the same 
informative effect without screwing people up.

Completely indecent,
Merideth

Time: Sat, 09-Dec-2000 23:58:26 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

:
:But even dimming the 
:lights seems like not such a good idea.  Some of us are terrified 
:enough of being on stage, I think that alerting the audience and 
:performer during the piece that the time limit has expired would 
:be extremely distressing.  And what is the point?  Do you want 
:people to stop if they know 5 minutes have passed?

No, I wouldn't want people to necessarily stop after five minutes 
had passed, but I think the performers DO need some sort of 
reminder that also shows the audience that this problem is being 
addressed.  In the past habitual offenders HAVE been spoken to 
after the show, and in case they forgot there's a reminder every 
week during the announcements that pieces should be five minutes 
or less.  But since neither of these have made a darn bit of 
difference, perhaps people would (outrageous though it may seem) 
start to incorporate at least one timed rehearsal into their 
preparations if they knew that they and everyone else would know 
if they should pass the five minute mark.

-Adam

Time: Sun, 10-Dec-2000 00:21:49 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

I should point out that by dimming, I'm referring to a momentary 
event, i.e., _dipping_ the lights and then restoring them to 
normal levels.  This conveys a message without casting a literal 
shadow over the remainder of a piece.

-Adam

Time: Sun, 10-Dec-2000 01:24:54 GMT     IP: 64.210.241.101

:I should point out that by dimming, I'm referring to a momentary 
:event, i.e., _dipping_ the lights and then restoring them to 
:normal levels.  This conveys a message without casting a literal 
:shadow over the remainder of a piece.
:
:-Adam
:


The problem with this is that it could be misinterpereted as a lighting cue with some artistic
significance.  If something like this 
happens, it needs to be clear to the audience that it is an administrative rather than a performance
choice.  How about if the orger-
taker simply made a point of refusing scripts which took more than a certain number of pages -
say 4 1/2 for dialogue, 3 1/2 for 
monologues or pieces with a lot of silent action?  Announce it in the announcements: "We will not
take any script over ___pages".  
Also, give a cookie to anyone with a script under one page long.  
     As someone who plays songs, I'm not quite sure how to deal with longer musics, though I
have more patience for a mediocre 7 
min. Ben Schmidt song (as if Ben's work is ever mediocre... but you get the idea) than for a great
Chris Okiishi monologue.  While I 
love Chris' monologues, and I generally think they justify their length, I guess what I mean to say
is that it's easier to get lost in the 
timelessness of music.  And by no means do I mean to pick on C.O. - his long monologues are
among my very favorite acts at NS.  
     I have never timed any Nozebone the Band songs, but perhaps the pre-song banter does
ocassionally push them over 5 min.  
Tell me if they seem long to you. And maybe that's all we really need, is a tighter sense of
responsibility for the length, and 
sensitivity to criticisms of length.  It seems that a lot of people are expressing concerns about that
right now, which is a step in the 
right direction.

Time: Sun, 10-Dec-2000 01:44:05 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.51

Well, I'm all about this short show, short piece thing, if it's 
possible.  But, I don't think it's right to cut someone off 
unless they really fuck something up.  Perhaps, if everyone 
writes some quick short bits over break, we can start off the new 
season with some high action blitz style Drama and comedy.  Hit 
them fast and hard, going straight for the punch line, and ending 
the skit before it gets old.

Merry Finals, y'all-

Tom

Time: Sun, 10-Dec-2000 02:27:17 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.86

Before I comment again on length, I'd like to defend myself by 
saying that I only said "not funny" about pieces that I thought 
were aiming to be funny.  Slapstick, bathroom humor, and sex humor 
are all very obvious forms of humor, but they don't always fly.  
And that's what happened with a lot of the pieces at BONS.  And I 
may also have mistaken some regulars for board members; I didn't 
realize the board was only five people.  I apologize for that.  I 
do, however, think I'd be right in saying that quite a few of the 
pieces involved board members at least as actors.

As for the length, perhaps a signal which is only visible to the 
performers ought to be used?  Say a flashlight illuminating a sign 
at the back of the theatre that says "TIME UP"?  I don't think any 
audience members would notice that, and it would let the performer 
know that his time was up.  But my length objection wasn't so much 
to the length of individual pieces (unless they dragged out way 
beyond where they should have, and I think we can all think of a 
few examples) as it was to the length of the entire show.  Since 
the time limit on individual pieces isn't working, what about 
making the ABSOLUTE MAXIMUM be 7 or 10 minutes (somewhere in 
there) for a piece, and ask everyone to submit a time estimate.  
Pick a combination of pieces to go into the show that would keep 
it at 1-1.5 hours.  I'd rather see fewer, better, slightly longer 
pieces than 15 pieces that are lower quality and wind up taking 
longer than they should anyway.  But I'm also inclined to give 
performers the benefit of the doubt in that a lot of pieces that 
might have been five minutes or less in a read-through may have 
been lengthened by pausing for laughter in the show.

But if we're really going to be concerned about time limits, how 
about imposing an actual penalty on repeat offenders, like 
exclusion from one No Shame for every minute over time?  It's 
pretty obvious that merely politely asking hasn't gotten much 
response.

Time: Sun, 10-Dec-2000 05:22:03 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

:The problem with this is that it could be misinterpereted as a
:lighting cue with some artistic significance.  If something like
:this happens, it needs to be clear to the audience that it is an
:administrative rather than a performance choice.

I'm sure this could be done in such a way as to not be confusing. 
 There's really not much chance that a random dimming of the 
lights in the middle of a monologue or skit could be mistaken for 
part of the piece unless it was a really abstract piece or the 
performers worked it into the act.

And once again, I think the fact that the performers get their 
little reminder in full view of the audience is part of the 
incentive to keep it within the limits, or at least close to it.  
Something only the performers could see would be ignorable, like 
the individual reminders and pre-show announcements have been in 
the past.  "I can ignore that little flashing light in my eyes 
being projected by someone in the booth because THIS piece is ART" 
one might say to oneself, rationalizing it away--but if everyone 
is in on it, then there's more pressure to follow the rules.

-Adam

Time: Sun, 10-Dec-2000 05:53:42 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.33

If I write a skit where two guys make out and I let Balls be one 
of the actors, I get into the Best of No Shame?  Is that right?  
Just wanted to make sure, because I really want the respect of 
people who can find deeper meaning in just about anything.

Mort 

Time: Sun, 10-Dec-2000 06:00:40 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.33

About this whole time issue...I would gladly sit through a 25 
minute skit if it were any good.  But the Best of No Shame was 
crap.  I didn't care how long it was; I left halfway through 
anyway, because it was putting my girlfriend to sleep and 
pissing me off.  

Mort

Time: Sun, 10-Dec-2000 06:07:01 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.33

"Love that Butt."  It was that really pathetic stetch in which 
Chris Stengl said nothing but "Love that Butt" for around seven 
and a half minutes.  Performed about a month ago.  Then he 
said, "I hate your face."  Then Niel said, "I hate your butt."  

Time: Sun, 10-Dec-2000 06:25:30 GMT     IP: 128.255.196.69

Just wondering what good a warning that your time is up would do. 
 If I'm doing a skit and all of a sudden I see a sign that 
telling me to shut the fuck up, am I going to heed it?  Probably 
not.  And nobody else will either.  I'm not going to rush it or 
just stop in the middle of a performance.  That means death.  In 
fact, yes, I would rather die than do that.

I'm for the board members keeping an eye on the length of the 
skits they accept as well as the performers going through a timed 
rehearsal so that they have an idea of the time they will take.

As for the length.  I'm not sure the length of the skits was 
really the issue anyway.  The way I understood it BONS was 
supposed to be the TOP FIFTEEN...FIF-FUCKING-TEEN skits of the 
semester.  I had the feeling that the board got together and 
said, "Wait a minute, so and so is our friend, we forgot to 
include him/her.  Throw him/her in there at 11.5"  This seen with 
the last minute addition of Kehry Lane's piece.  Not that Kehry 
didn't deserve to be there but damn!

yo?

dan

Time: Sun, 10-Dec-2000 06:46:31 GMT     IP: 128.255.175.116


I remember that sketch!  It was the best.  I could have handled 
about another minute and a half of that.  Wish I could see it 
again.

I think Al Angel wrote it.  I really liked Al's stuff this past 
semester!  Hooray for it!

Merideth

:"Love that Butt."  It was that really pathetic stetch in which 
:Chris Stengl said nothing but "Love that Butt" for around seven 
:and a half minutes.  Performed about a month ago.  Then he 
:said, "I hate your face."  Then Niel said, "I hate your butt."  

Time: Sun, 10-Dec-2000 07:18:16 GMT     IP: 128.255.196.69

So we all know that BONS went too long.  That can be fixed.  
But, BONS had the same underlying problems as most other nights 
of No Shame:  There needs to be balance in the order.  Kudos to 
Chris O - "Faithless" is a powerful piece; but more than a 
couple like it in any one night, and they would all loose their 
potency.  Kudos to Chris Stengl-way to get laughs with your 
butt!, but too much makes your butt a cliche.  

I admit my bias.  I prefer the more thought-provoking pieces.  I 
like being reminded that my brain is more than beef ramen in a 
bowl with eyes.  But I absolutely think No Shame needs  cheap 
laughs and vulgar jokes, and it needs the uproarious but pointed 
pieces, and the music.   Some of each, every time.  

Perhaps the board could filter the order to ensure some balance. 
 I'm not talking about playing script Nazi.  It would be against 
the idea of No Shame to turn someone away because of the 
'quality' of their script; but it wouldn't be unfair to ask 
someone to come back next week so a different kind of skit could 
fill their spot.

Perhaps the board could perform less and board more:  one of the 
best ways to encourage balance and diversity is to have more 
different people performing.  To the board:  we love you, but we 
see you an awful lot. Restrict yourselves a little, avoid forming 
 a performing caste:  Try hard if you have to, to bring in new 
authors and/or performers, and the range and scope of No Shame 
will expand.  

Time: Sun, 10-Dec-2000 17:58:44 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

:Just wondering what good a warning that your time is up would do. 
: If I'm doing a skit and all of a sudden I see a sign that 
:telling me to shut the fuck up, am I going to heed it?  Probably 
:not.  And nobody else will either.  I'm not going to rush it or 
:just stop in the middle of a performance.  That means death.  In 
:fact, yes, I would rather die than do that.
:
:I'm for the board members keeping an eye on the length of the 
:skits they accept as well as the performers going through a timed 
:rehearsal so that they have an idea of the time they will take.

The idea of providing a visual warning isn't about cutting a 
performer off.  That would suck mightily.  It's about making sure 
the performer and everyone else knows where that special 
five-minute marker falls in pieces that run over, so the spidemic 
nature of the problem becomes clear and people work to avoid it.

:As for the length.  I'm not sure the length of the skits was 
:really the issue anyway.  The way I understood it BONS was 
:supposed to be the TOP FIFTEEN...FIF-FUCKING-TEEN skits of the 
:semester.

Yeah, number of pieces is a separate and similarly important 
issue.  I could see a show with, say, up to 18 pieces working 
well--but only if the extra three are "blackouts" 
(30-seconds-or-less comedy bits).

-Adam

Time: Sun, 10-Dec-2000 18:06:16 GMT     IP: 205.244.162.39

Ignore that last blank message thing.  please.

anyway...first off, i want to thank those of you who have posted 
constructive ideas about how to improve BONS and No Shame.  
obviously, not all of the proposed solutions can work--I am 
particularly opposed to the idea of filtering scripts for 
content.  The whole point of No Shame on a weekly level is 
"cheap, raw, and unpredictable."  That means sometimes it's good, 
sometimes it sucks, and it's usually some combination thereof.  
and I must say that new performers ARE embraced, especially when 
they're good (and sometimes even when they're not--people have a 
way of improving over time and winning their ways into my heart 
like a wormy little parasite, but cuter).  but the idea, like 
many others, was offered in good faith, so thanks to the person 
who suggested it.

as for people who were offended by the content of BONS (Kelcey, i 
think)...well, disgusting humor is sort of what you get when you 
come to No Shame, see?  I myself generally prefer not to write in 
that style (though I have delved into anatomical humor in the 
past, much to my own tittilation), but I've found I have a lot 
more fun at No Shame if I just put all my PC baggage aside for 
the night and admit to myself that there is something inherently 
hilarious about butts.  Scrotes I'm not so sure about, but hey.

And I think it's a really unfair criticism to say that the night 
was loaded up with board members and regulars acting and writing.  
Yes, this is true--but if you go to an average night of No Shame, 
that's exactly who's doing all the hard work.  As I mentioned 
earlier, a lot of the time newcomers just aren't so good at 
first.  I sure as hell didn't have anything in Best Of my first 
semester or two.  People get better with practice, and by the 
time they've practiced a lot and crafted their 
work--BOOM--they're regulars.  so it's really a chicken/egg sort 
of thing (speaking of which...Adam Hahn, where are you?).  and 
honestly, when the board gets together to select pieces, it's a 
lot easier to remember a piece if it was done by someone whom you 
know, rather than just saying "Hey guys, remember that one piece 
by that one guy that one time?"  everyone will say "Huh? go make 
me some cheesecake."

One way to counter that is to nominate your favorite pieces from 
the semester here.  The board does take that into consideration, 
and it's a good way to get audience input.  If you think one 
really great piece might go forgotten because it was by a 
one-time performer, publicize it.

Although I do agree that we need to do something about length, 
and BONS was a little gross-heavy for my personal taste, I think 
a lot of the complaining that's being going on here is 
unjustified.  You paid two dollars for a whole night of theater, 
and if it got too late and you were tired or bored, you could 
leave.  you still got a pretty damn good deal.  how many crappy 
movies have you sat through and paid 7 bucks for?  the performers 
at No Shame do it because we love to do it.  We're not getting 
million dollar salaries (except Neil, but he puts out).  If you 
don't like No Shame, don't come.

Ok, the diatribe is nearly over.  Thanks again to everybody who 
contributed constructive suggestions and reasonable criticism, 
and we'll certainly take those into account next semester.

*kisses all arou

Time: Sun, 10-Dec-2000 18:22:09 GMT     IP: 205.188.199.169

:
My favorite skits this semester:
:

:
Mr. Rogers
:
Homemade apendectemy
:
That one chick applying to Bush to be secretary of the interior
:
The one about the day kennedy was shot.


First of all thank you for liking "Mr. Rogers Is A Whore" so much 
that you listed it first.  This probably doesn't mean you liked 
it best but that is what I'm telling myself so don't burst my 
bubble, m'man.

Second of all I think it's funny (ironic funny) that you 
mentioned that one because while yes it is a pointless rant, 
borderlining on stand-up comedy, designed for the most part just 
to get a cheap laugh, that good ol' deeper meaning is there with 
the commentary on the very idea of getting cheap laughs.  Thank 
God for run-on sentences. I don't want to dig around for whatever 
disk that thing is on to get the exact text but it's something 
like:

"You know.  At first I started to get undressed because it tied 
in with what I was saying.  Then I was doing it to see if I would 
go through with it.  Now I'm doing it just to get a cheap laugh 
from you the audience.  I'M such a whore."

Pretentious?

Actually I don't think there is such a thing as a cheap laugh.  
One way or another you gotta earn it.  If the content is actually 
humorous then it still takes, for lack of a better term, effort 
to deliver the humor.  If it's a shocking display then you need 
to toss aside those pesky inhibitions and have the guts to go out 
there and do it.  People tend to turn their noses at shock humor 
by saying that anybody can do that.  No.  Anybody could probably 
WRITE that.  Maybe.  It still takes a wee bit of knowledge of the 
dynamics of an audience to know just what will work. But not just 
anybody can do it.

Boy, did I ever miss the point with this message.  I think what 
was in question was the so-called pretentiousness of some pieces, 
right?  I don't see that anywhere really. Sorry.  No Shame is NOT 
a sketch comedy show.  I think there's been enough talk about 
what No Shame is.  Place to develop writing, get feedback, yada 
yada yada.  If you like the comedy skits then you can't say 
you're disappointed because you get plenty of them every week.  
Plus you get a damn hilarious time for the stellar cellar price 
of a buck.  At that price you can put up with the occasional 
serious piece, can't you?

And I also see your point that a lot of the skits at BONS 
shouldn't have been there and I'll tell you why in a little bit.  
Right now I'm dirty and I want to cleanse myself.

-dan

Time: Sun, 10-Dec-2000 19:54:40 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.51

It never hurts to throw your two cents into an argument-

First off, the keeping it short thing is nice, but that could 
kill a piece if someone truly sacrifices quality and meaning to 
fit into a stringent time frame.  I'd rather see a good 6 or 7 
minute piece than a watered down meaningless version that fits 
into the expected time.  Write whatever the fuck you want and TRY 
to keep it short, so that the night's show as a whole doesn't run 
extra long.  If someone in the audience really has a stick up his 
ass about that time limit thing, they can leave a couple of skits 
early and get slightly less entertainment for their buck.

Now, that whole filtering scripts thing would be great, but it 
would ruin the whole point of the show, even if there were enough 
scripts submitted to effectively filter out the crap.  If NS 
scripts were filtered for content (like they are at every other 
place I've ever seen) the whole spontonaity thing would be 
compromised in the process.

That's it-
Tom

Time: Sun, 10-Dec-2000 22:04:27 GMT     IP: 205.221.255.42

No Shame?! More like No THEN!!

CHeck it out!

Time: Sun, 10-Dec-2000 22:19:57 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.33

I am not against skits with meaning attactched to them.  In 
fact, my favorite skits, some of which I mentioned in an earlier 
response, all have some drive at meaning in them.  I just don't 
like shock humor or psuedo-intellectualism, and I thought that I 
had already made this clear, but I guess not:  I LIKE MOST OF 
THE PIECES AT NO SHAME.  My attack is not a general one.  It is 
aimed specifically at toilet humor and "deep" skits that I can't 
remember that well.  And what is all this crap about "getting 
immediate audience feedback?"  What next level are these skits 
being taken to?  Come on, everybody has to admit, it is a SHOW, 
because otherwise, there would not be BONS.  There would be no 
reason for it, seeing how all 85 of those skits had already 
gotten feedback.  

Thanks.

Mort

Time: Sun, 10-Dec-2000 22:21:53 GMT     IP: 64.6.70.166

:If I write a skit where two guys make out and I let Balls be 
:one of the actors, I get into the Best of No Shame? Is that 
:right? Just wanted to make sure, because I really want the 
:respect of people who can find deeper meaning in just about 
:anything.

Mort, I wrote this sketch with Aaron, the other guy in the 
sketch. It was not a sketch written by someone else who then 
cast me in it. It got into BONS because almost everyone on the 
website nominated it and it was a unanimous decison amongst the 
board members that it be placed in the show. I do not single-
handedly choose the order for BONS, Mort.  In fact, if I alone 
wanted a piece in BONS, and nobody else on the board did, I can 
assure you it would not get in. It's very easy to be flip.  Why 
not just say, "So if I write a piece about my friends looking 
like celebrities, I get into Best of No Shame?  Or if I write a 
piece about book herpes, I get into Best of No Shame?"  Because 
those kinds of meaningless statements are just as valid as the 
one you made above.  Though it seems like what you're really 
trying to do is accuse me of being a homosexual exhibitionist 
who would rather gratify my own perverse sexual tendencies than 
put together an exciting BONS. And that hurts my feelings, Mort.

As for your vague, not-entirely-formed ideas about "deeper 
meaning": what are you talking about?  I have yet to understand 
what it is that you want to be taking away from No Shame that it 
is not providing. First, you complained that you heard board 
members were dissing pieces for not having this mysterious 
"deeper meaning," saying that pieces that tried for no more than 
a laugh deserved as much respect as the next piece. Then, when 
you see a piece in BONS that you clearly think has no "deeper 
meaning," you complain about its presence.  You are not making 
any sense.  

Also, you seem to be fixated on me.  Last time, you wrote 
something along the lines of "if Balls does such-and-such a 
thing, how can you criticize anyone else who does the same 
thing?"  And now you write that my only criteria for selecting 
BONS pieces is whether or not the piece fulfills these 
exhibitionist tendencies I surely have?  Why am I the focal 
point of your No Shame criticism?  Have I done something in the 
past to upset you, Mort?  Because you seem to be more upset with 
me as an individual than you are with No Shame itself.  The 
institution of No Shame does not revolve around my actions. So 
if you have a problem with me, personally, bring it to me.  

:The way I understood it BONS was supposed to be the TOP 
:FIFTEEN...FIF-FUCKING-TEEN skits of the semester. I had the 
:feeling that the board got together and said, "Wait a minute, 
:so and so is our friend, we forgot to include him/her. Throw 
:him/her in there at 11.5" 

Is that so, Dan?  Is that how the meeting went?  Huh.  I never 
realized we were such assholes.  I don't know where you got the 
idea that BONS was supposed to be "FIFTEEN" pieces, because I 
have never been to a BONS that was only fifteen pieces.  Yes, we 
put in too many pieces, but I admitted that earlier. Deal with 
it.  And we put in pieces based on whether or not we thought 
they deserved to get into the show. We did not put in pieces 
based on friendship. I still believe we chose the best pieces of 
the semester.  We just did not take into account how they would 
play in Mabie as opposed to Theatre B. So for that reason, in 
addition to the length of the show, some really great pieces 
failed.  This has all been said already.

To Mort and Dan and everybody else: I appreciate criticism of 
the show.  But these personal attacks, accusing me and the board 
of being corrupt and whatnot, are bullshit.  If you have a 
personal problem with me or anyone else on the board, come right 
out and say so. Don't be so fucking coy about it.

Neil

Time: Mon, 11-Dec-2000 01:51:05 GMT     IP: 205.188.197.174

No, I don't have a personal problem with you or anybody on the 
board. No, you're not assholes.  I don't like those words put in 
my mouth.  But I guess you get what you give.

It wasn't my intent to accuse you of being corrupt.  I said I got 
the feeling that you chose based on friendship.  I did NOT say 
that this was actually the case.  It seemed that way to me 
because there were so many skits.  I was expecting/hoping to be 
corrected in regards to this but I wasn't expecting you to take 
it as a personal attack.  But now I can see that with the way I 
worded it you really couldn't take it any other way.  Especially 
with the "FIF-FUCKING-TEEN" comment.  I was trying to emphasize 
the reason it went so long which I didn't need to do and I only 
came off as an dick once again. And I am sorry.

True, I can see where you would have trouble narrowing it down 
but I can't see how this would be an impossible task.  If there 
is a way that this could be an impossible task then once again, 
I'm sorry. I'm guessing that you just weren't expecting it to go 
so damn long so you figured why not add a few more pieces?

I got the impression that BONS was supposed to be 15 pieces 
because the show before BONS was announced somebody told the 
audience to vote for their favorites in the board room and that 
15 would be chosen. Something like that. Or maybe it was when 
BONS was announced somebody said that these were the best fifteen 
chosen and I took that as meaning there were only supposed to be 
15.  Maybe I'm fabricating the whole thing.  Maybe the fact that 
the number of skits ended with the number 15 with a bunch of 
point fives and point three-threes stuck in between led me to 
believe that there was only supposed to be 15 but you were 
bending the rules.  True even when it's not BONS there are often 
point fives but 15 seemed like an official number to me because 
of the aforementioned things.

Whatever the case I guess I'm wrong.  I'm sorry to offend.

I don't think you're assholes.  I wouldn't say I love you guys 
but I do like you in that boyfriend-girlfriend sort of way.

If you accept my apology and want to play on the swings after 
school check this box.

-dan.

Time: Mon, 11-Dec-2000 02:31:51 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.86

At the risk of becoming further entangled in what has become an 
incredibly messy, somewhat bitter debate....  I have some 
clarifications.

:I am 
:particularly opposed to the idea of filtering scripts for 
:content.
I don't quite remember where this might have come in, but I hope I 
didn't say something that was misconstrued that way.  I might have 
said something like that (perhaps quality-related?) in the whole 
"submit a time estimation and choose a combination of pieces that 
will fit 1-1.5 hours" bit, but I hope I didn't, and I'm too lazy 
to look.  If I did, I would be excluding myself from having the 
option of participating should I ever choose to do so.  And I 
wouldn't do that to me.

:as for people who were offended by the content of BONS (Kelcey, i 
:think)...well, disgusting humor is sort of what you get when you 
:come to No Shame, see?
Now this, I know, was mistaking what I said.  I said that by the 
end, the bathroom/sex/body humor just disgusted me.  That doesn't 
mean I was offended.  A fine line, I know.  And I do come to No 
Shame expecting to be disgusted and possibly offended (despite my 
limited experience with the show).  But I quite often find 
disgusting to be funny; there was a skit with a bunch of guys 
eating various things off the floor that I found hilarious in one 
show that I went to, and I just about puked from disgust.  My 
complaint was more that by the end, the shock humor wasn't funny 
anymore.  It was just gross.  I suppose it was another length 
complaint, but we've had enough of those, haven't we.  Perhaps it 
would have helped if the skits had been a bit more mixed up?  It 
seemed like all the really gross ones were toward the end.

As for your explanation, Aprille, as to why the BONS was loaded 
with board members and regulars... yes, that makes sense.  I'm 
sated.  I hope others are, too.

And I take back what I said about it costing too much; I made the 
complaint at 3 AM when I was tired and crabby.  But I was probably 
too honest about how I felt about some of the pieces... tact isn't 
my strong point at that time of morning.

With that, I hope I'm done.
Kelcey

Time: Mon, 11-Dec-2000 03:38:31 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.58

Hey you stupid butt-heads! Shut yer fuckin' moufs! You need to 
STOP talking now! This boardroom is for the BOARD and their 
FRIENDS to post about what we think of the show! You are NOT our 
friends, RETARDS! Please stop posting!!!!!! ALSO, we love to put 
those FRIENDS we have into BEST OF! It is funner to watch people 
we LIKE!!! NO SHAME is fun for THE NO SHAME BOARD! I can't wait 
for another Best Of starring us the Board and a select few 
favorite buddies! (NOT YOU!) 

You stink!

-Chris Stangl and Jamal River. No Shame Board.

Time: Mon, 11-Dec-2000 04:59:42 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.33

I was not attacking you Balls.  My attack was meant to be 
general, and I was only using "S'ghetti..." as an example.  My 
point was simply that almost every skit incorporated same-sex 
make out sessions and included board members as actors.  By 
saying, "if I let Balls be one of the actors," I really 
meant "if I let a board member be one of the actors," but things 
are funnier when they are more specific, so I picked a name, 
someone who had already replied to me.  No specific offense 
intended.  Anyone else who made out on stage for a cheap laugh 
is included in my intended offense.  That said, I think that my 
comment was far more meaningful than saying I would get into the 
show if I talked about book herpes.

Also, I would like to reply to YOUR accusation that I think you 
are a homosexual exhibitionist.  If you don't want me making 
accusations or vague attacks, then you shouldn't do anything 
unreasonable like put words in my mouth.  I happen to think that 
you are not gay.  Exhibitionist, maybe.

And how can you possibly say that these were the best skits of 
the semester?  Maybe you know more about theater than I do, but 
I can honestly say that I only enjoyed two skits before I left.

Thanks.
Mort

Time: Mon, 11-Dec-2000 05:30:27 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.33

:ALSO, we love to put 
:
those FRIENDS we have into BEST OF! It is funner to watch people 
:
we LIKE!!! NO SHAME is fun for THE NO SHAME BOARD! I can't wait 
:
for another Best Of starring us the Board and a select few 
:
favorite buddies! (NOT YOU!) 

Chris and Jamal
I'm  not sure how much of this was supposed to be a joke, but I 
think that it shows exactly what people think is sort of bad 
about no shame.  The board members are all talented writers and 
actors who are extremely funny.  But to outsiders like myself, it 
sometimes appears that the board members put on no shame solely 
for their own amusement.  (see your skit with showing your butt 
to jamal)

and for further clarification of a point I have made several 
times, I LIKE MOST OF THE PIECES AT NO SHAME.  Balls, I tried to 
make this clear before, but you think that I am not making any 
sense, so perhaps I have not stated this clearly enough.  I do 
not like skits that are psuedo-intellectual OR skits that are 
braindead.  I like a happy medium.  I don't think that that 
doesn't make any sense.  Also, please don't take what I say so 
personally or seriously.  I don't know much about theater.  I 
only carry the perspective of an audience member.  I think that 
you are very funny, and I hold the same opinion about most 
regulars.  I just think that at times, people try to hard, and it 
doesn't work, at least in my perspective.  

Mort

Time: Mon, 11-Dec-2000 05:36:01 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.33

And now you write that my only criteria for selecting 
BONS pieces is whether or not the piece fulfills these 
exhibitionist tendencies I surely have?  

I really never said anything like the statement above, so I 
don't know why I am being accused of it.  Just wanted to clear 
that up.  Sorry for posting so many messages.

Mort

Time: Mon, 11-Dec-2000 09:41:49 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.51

Mort,

I'm NOT a board member, but I feel like saying stuff to you 
anyways.  Now, please take this as an invitation, not an insult;
You've got a lot to say, and a lot of people are reading what 
you've said from an audience member's perspective.  I'm gratefull 
for that.  I appreciate someone who's got the guts to write 
openly and take a lot of shit for it.  So now what?  You've got a 
big mouth, and you've obviously got the nuts to take some 
criticism.  What's the next step?  If you look at the human 
anatomy from the brain down, it's obvious- mouth... innards 
(guts)... gonads (guts you can show to people).  Stop clarifying 
yourself and write a fucking skit allready!

By the way, I DO write primarily for my own amusement.  If I 
didn't get something out of my writing, no matter how great, 
stupid, perverse, or meaningless others might think it is, I 
wouldn't be able to throw it out there for an audience to admire 
or tear into at their will.  I don't write to kiss anybody's 
scrotum.  This was a hard lesson.  You should see me trying to 
cover my ass every time I said something in this board room a few 
weeks ago.

I should be sleeping-
Tom

P. S. Jamal wrote that skit about Chris' butt.

Time: Mon, 11-Dec-2000 16:03:40 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.33

but I'm not very funny.

Time: Mon, 11-Dec-2000 16:59:28 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.86

:but I'm not very funny.

No Shame's mission statement: "No Shame Theatre is a no-budget, 
low-tech weekly forum for showcasing original short work. It's a 
place for writers/performers to experiment and try new things in a 
virtually risk-free environment, and to recieve instant audience 
feedback. All pieces must be original, under five minutes long, 
and cannot damage the space or its occupants in any way. Scripts 
are submitted 1/2 hour before the show, so every night is a 
gamble; there are no guarantees, no censors, no discrimination, No 
Shame. Cheap, raw, unpredictable theatre."

I don't see anything that says it has to be funny.  Some of my 
favorite pieces from BONS were not funny and not intended to be, 
like Chris Okiishi's piece about the gay man and Ben Smith's song. 
If you think you have to be funny, you miss the point.  (And 
please, no one criticize me for criticizing the humor of previous 
skits and then saying this.  I've said it before and I'll say it 
again: I only criticize a skit for a lack of humor if I think it 
was trying to be humorous.)

But I also don't think there's much reason for Mort to feel he 
must write a skit, either.  What's wrong with being a vocal 
audience member?

Time: Mon, 11-Dec-2000 17:07:28 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.86

My apologies to Ben Schmidt: I accidentally called you Ben Smith. 
I hate it when people Anglicize my last name, so I really 
shouldn't do it to others.  My bad.

Time: Mon, 11-Dec-2000 17:08:03 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.112

I don't know which one the horny grandma was, but it was early 
:
enough that I wasn't totally disgusted with the sex humor yet.  
:
Any later and it would have been enough to make me leave.  I 
:
wonder if the protagonist noticed that his poor mother was 
turning 
:
purple?  Or that his father left early?  It was more than a bit 
:
excessive, and the choice of a male as the grandmother was 
utterly 
:
incomprehensible.

To answer your concerns about my parents.
My mother was laughing (sick as that may be) and my father had 
a "gut ache" and went to the restroom.  Rest assured that they 
were well informed before hand.

Men often play women's roles a comedic payoff.  It wouldn't have 
worked with a girl playing Grandma.  All humor would be lost.  
Using a man was for comedy, sick and twisted as it may be.

Yes, it is mostly true.  That's why it's disturbing.

Time: Mon, 11-Dec-2000 17:10:26 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.37

:But I also don't think there's much reason for Mort to feel he
:must write a skit, either.  What's wrong with being a vocal
:audience member?

Not a single thing.  But there's also nothing wrong with trying to
leverage vocal-ness into a recruitment attempt. :)  New blood is
good, and the "if you don't like it, do something yourself" is a
reasonable approach for encouraging new entries.

It also serves to remind people that the distinction between
audience and performer at No Shame is only as strong as you choose
to make it.  It may not LOOK like any ol' schmoe could get up
there and perform since the presence of "regulars" starts to make
it all seem like a set cast an' all--but honest, any ol' schmoe
could get up there and perform.  And they oughtta.

-Adam

Time: Mon, 11-Dec-2000 17:29:28 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.86

Kehry, I think you've already defended your skit to my criticisms 
once, but since you seem to be trying to get a reaction out of 
me, let me say this: it wasn't that I didn't enjoy it; I just 
didn't understand why you chose a man (I think part of the humor 
of using a man to play a woman is dressing him up; maybe a wig 
would have helped) and felt bad for your parents.  I think I 
wasn't very clear on the fact that I did actually like some of 
the skits, and I focused too much on the negative aspects.  I'm 
pretty hard on those I love.  It toughens you up.  And I'm crabby 
at 3 AM, as I've said.  So sue me.  Anyhow, I guess you did a 
good job of writing what you know, as alarming as that is.

Adam, I'm sure you do want to recruit; I was just defending the 
right of audience members to give "immediate feedback" and remain 
audience members.  But if you want to recruit, help us 
non-writers out: the rules for the nature of submissions are 
clear enough, but I've never managed to figure out how or where 
to submit.  I've yet to witness the process or see the board 
anywhere in the general vicinity of Theatre B before a 
performance.  Do explain this mysterious thing... mostly the 
location, I suppose.

Time: Mon, 11-Dec-2000 18:18:42 GMT     IP: 205.244.163.112

Gosh!  I had no idea that was unclear.

People who want to submit scripts congregate in the lounge before 
the show.  You know how there are two sets of doors that face 
each other, one set leading to Theater B and one set leading to 
David Thayer theater?  Well, go through either one of those sets 
of doors, and rather than progressing straight ahead to get into 
the theater, go through the door that is to your left (or right, 
if you go in the David Thayer way).

there you'll see a gaggle of people waiting around to submit 
scripts.  also there is gourmet food catered (board members 
only!), a "high class" stripper (board members and regulars 
receive special decoder glasses that make him visible), and 
shiatsu massage (available to new people, but only on places 
guaranteed to cause pain, such as they eyeballs).

just kidding on most of those points--but I'd guess that half 
hour/45 minutes before the show starts when we're all hanging 
around the lounge is the most intimidating time for new 
performers.  it might seem like everyone is talking and laughing 
and joking except you.  one way to solve this is to cry a lot.  
another is to bring other new performers/writers with you, so you 
can bond with them dur

Time: Mon, 11-Dec-2000 18:52:54 GMT     IP: 206.65.190.132


:  Do explain this mysterious thing... mostly the 
:location, I suppose.

Easy.  In the lounge 10:30.  Go through the first door to B, open the door that says theatre
personell only and have a copy of your script 
to give to the person for the light booth.  Perform, or have someone perform your piece.  Hooray.


While I'm here, I thought I would respond to the post which said that NS is a 'sketch comedy
show'.  In my mind, this embodies 
everything that is wrong with NS in general and BONS in particular.  If you want sketch comedy,
stay home and watch Saturday 
Night Live (Satan).  The problem is that it seems that performers often feel the need to write as if
they have taken this notion of 
Sketch Comedy to heart.  There is such a thing as a cheap laugh.  There may be an effort inherent
in MAKING an audience laugh, but 
there is not so much of an effort inherent in TELLING an audience to laugh by using hackneyed
SNL-type markers such as 
masturbation or two straight boys kissing.  Humor can be scatological and still inventive (e.g. Fun
House of Cool, replete with Jar O' 
Poop from Peefart inc and the creation of a joke by the lack of a joke in the 'point to butt now'
stuff), but it is easier to get an audience to 
laugh by going with something you already know will get a laugh.  In my ideal universe, comedic
pieces wouldn't dominate NS.  
People would come because they loved theatre, not because they think Satan(SNL) is still funny.

Time: Mon, 11-Dec-2000 20:09:32 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.206

A problem with BONS that a couple of people have addressed but no 
one has followed up on is the content. While I agree that sexual/
gross/whatever you wanna call it humor, that relies on name-
dropping genitalia and masturbation jokes are a mainstay (and a 
welcome one) at No Shame, most night we get this tempered with 
monlogues or sketches or what have that don't use this as a basis 
for humor. I think one of the problems w/BONS was that too many 
pieces relied on this for their humor, and by the end of the very 
long night, it had really lost its appeal. I think all of the 
pieces selected were great, and maybe the best of this semester, as 
they were seen strewn about on different nights, but put all 
together back to back, they just got old. 
Now I'd like if I may to drop a bombshell. What exactly is the 
point of BONS? I can see the pros, sure. It brings in a large 
audience who then get to see a night of some of the best No Shame 
has to offer, doubles the income of ticket prices, and challenges 
writers to try to write something that will be noticed, and is 
actually good, instead of working on something ten minutes before 
the show and throwing it at the audience unpolished and without 
care. But let's be honest: is it absolutely necessary to single out 
15-20 things from the semester and do them again in a performance 
space that can totally ruin the impact they have on the audience? 
And why exactly do we need to see these things again? Maybe I'm 
romanticizing a bit, but I think of theatre as a place where you go 
and see actors perform something right in front of you, and when 
it's over, it's over. It's a life that is born with the lights up 
and dies at the blackout. Doing them again in Mabie ruins that 
effect. But, I don't know. Any thoughts?

Time: Mon, 11-Dec-2000 20:10:46 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.33

I liked this skit and thought it worked quite well with a man 
playing the grandma.  a costume would have been too extravagant 
for the piece.

Mort

Time: Mon, 11-Dec-2000 22:44:23 GMT     IP: 206.230.237.69

From Mark:
:But let's be honest: is it absolutely necessary to single out 
:15-20 things from the semester and do them again in a 
:performance space that can totally ruin the impact they have on 
:the audience?
:And why exactly do we need to see these things again? ... Doing 
:them again in Mabie ruins that effect. But, I don't know. Any 
:thoughts?

From a purely financial point of view alone, it would be hard to 
pay rent without the income from BONS, not to mention all the 
other endeavors (CDs, t-shirts, scholarships) into which No 
Shame ventures.

From Mort: 
:I was not attacking you Balls. My attack was meant to be 
:general, and I was only using "S'ghetti..." as an example. My 
:point was simply that almost every skit incorporated same-sex 
:make out sessions and included board members as actors. By 
:saying, "if I let Balls be one of the actors," I really 
:meant "if I let a board member be one of the actors," but 
:things are funnier when they are more specific, so I picked a 
:name, someone who had already replied to me. 

Mort, this is what you originally wrote:

:So_ If I write a skit where two guys make out and I let Balls 
:be one of the actors, I get into the Best of No Shame? Is that 
:right? 
:Just wanted to make sure, because I really want the respect of 
:people who can find deeper meaning in just about anything.

Whether it was your intention or not, the insinuation here is 
that I chose pieces for BONS based solely on whether or not they 
would let me make out with a guy in front of 500 people for a 
few minutes.  Your above "explanation" may be how you truly 
feel, but what you originally posted implies something much 
different: That I am a homosexual exhibitionist.  And just to be 
clear, I didn't put those words into your mouth (you never saw 
any quotes around them, did you?), but whether you meant to or 
not, that IS what you inferred in your original post. I grow 
weary of this argument.

:There may be an effort inherent in MAKING an audience laugh, 
:but there is not so much of an effort inherent in TELLING an 
:audience to laugh by using hackneyed SNL-type markers such as 
:masturbation or two straight boys kissing. 

It doesn't take a very clever person to figure out to whom 
you're referring here, Nick.  Let's see, I wrote one monologue 
in BONS that featured masturbation, and collaborated on another 
piece that featured two straight boys kissing. I appreciate your 
criticism, Nick, and I can certainly take it, good or bad, but 
why have you waited until after No Shame is over for the 
semester to criticize my work?  Throughout the semester, when 
you would write a review and you would reach my piece, you would 
write something like "I forgot this one" or "Remind me to write 
about Balls's piece later," once even going so far as to claim 
that you were asleep during a piece that Mike and I wrote in 
which seven people screamed at the audience for several minutes! 
And even now, when you finally do write something, you still 
have be vague about it.  I find that your criticism can, at 
times, be quite insightful_I just have no clue as to why you 
don't just criticize me by name.  I can take it. 

As for this particular piece of criticism, though, I think 
you're being a little too general.  True, you might find 
masturbation and straight boys kissing on SNL, and you might 
find those things in my pieces in BONS.  But did I use them in a 
way that they would be used on SNL? You might find people 
playing instruments and singing songs at a Richard Marx concert, 
so can Nozebone be lumped in with him for playing instruments 
and singing songs too?  It all comes down to how the elements 
(be they masturbation and straight boys kissing or musical 
intruments and singing) were used.  If you still believe I used 
those elements in a hackneyed and shitty SNL-like way, then 
okay, I can live with that.  But right now your criticism seems 
a little too vague.

Friend to All,

Balls

Time: Mon, 11-Dec-2000 23:45:22 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

First, Balls, any time I said I couldn't remember your piece, I was being sincere.  I do apologize
for the times I said I would get back to reviewing your work and didn't.  That was shitty.  Any
time I criticized the masturbation and straight boys kissing in BONS, it was because of a general
impression rather than a specific frustration with any specific piece.  In fact, this is an impression
which I didn't really catch up with until discussing BONS with others.  I assure you my comments
were not directed at you, Balls, though your ego may be dissapointed to hear it.  I apologize if I
haven't been very helpful in criticizing your work this semester, but that is no reason to assume
that any comment I make which may vaguely bear on your work is a direct criticism of that work. 
I was vague because my feelings were not directed to a specific piece.  In the future I try to make
more of an effort to keep up with your work in my criticism.
                                                                                                                              Second, here is
my idea for an alternative to BONS.  It may suck, or it may be impossible, but here it is.  The way
I see it, and as Mark has already mentioned, BONS serves 2 purposes: 1) It encourages writers
and performers to do their things as well as possible.  2) Draws in a big audience, generating
revenue and the interest necessary to generate future revenue.  My thought is that good pieces
written during the semester could be rewarded by smaller 'scholarships' at the discretion of the
board.  The issue of having a Mabie event showcasing great writing by NS people could be
addressed by this wierd idea I had: Anyone can submit an under-5-min. script to any board
member at any time during the semester for consideration for this event.  It would resemble
BONS, but would overcome the following problems:  1)Pieces in BONS were not written to be
present!
ed in Mabie. 2)Pieces in BONS
 are not as fun the second time 3)Pieces in BONS are often something their authors would not
like to do in BONS 4)The board has a heck of a lot of pieces to sift through in order to create a
BONS order.  I estimate around about 280. I doubt that this idea would recieve as many as 100
submissions.  Of course, this would mean that the board, in addittion to considering these
submissions for this new BONS type thing would also have to consider pieces performed
throughout the semester for that mini-scholarship idea I had earlier, and the board is pretty
overworked as it is.   Whatever.  -Nick

Time: Tue, 12-Dec-2000 00:26:36 GMT     IP: 206.65.190.132


: once even going so far as to claim 
:that you were asleep during a piece that Mike and I wrote in 
:which seven people screamed at the audience for several minutes! 

Was this Dead Week?  I honestly do not remember this piece!  Why would I make this up?  Am I
pretending not to remember it 
because if I criticized it I would lose  Balls' respect? Again, Balls, I'm really sorry that my criticism
hasn't been very helpful to you 
this semester, but I assure you that this was by no means a conscious decision!  I know you can
take criticism, and I like to criticize.  If I 
didn't remember a piece, all it means is that I didn't remember it.  I think that the times I wrote
something like "I will get back to it 
later" were times when I didn't remeber it, but thought that I would later, and then forgot that I
left you hanging, waiting for 
criticism.  I said it before, but that is a shitty thing to do, and I apologize.  I also apologize to the
other people I did this to this 
semester: Tom Kovacs, Chris Stangl, Dan Fairchild, and others.  I really can't remember seven
people yelling at the audience for 
seven minutes, though, and I really feel fairly certain that I did sleep through it.  I apologize for
sleeping during a presentation of 
your work.  It is a rude thing to do.

So I guess I have been doing a lot of rude things this semester, without really meaning to.  And
how is the road to hell paved, after 
all?

Time: Tue, 12-Dec-2000 01:25:54 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

:Now I'd like if I may to drop a bombshell. What exactly is the 
:point of BONS?

BONS was invented to pay for a broken piano.  It evolved into the 
best way to make sure rent is covered (and/or to pay for extra 
things like T-shirts, CDs, and those lovely little scholarships).

It's also appreciated by a bunch o' folks who can't stay up every 
Friday--or have other late-night obligations--but are happy to 
drop in once a semester in the hopes of a fun time for a low 
price.

-Adam

Time: Tue, 12-Dec-2000 01:55:34 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.33

different people interpret different things, so don't say that I 
definitely WAS insinuating something when it wasn't my intention 
to do so.  

Time: Tue, 12-Dec-2000 04:52:32 GMT     IP: 206.65.190.132

And still I really didn't address the most important and most valid of Balls' statements about my
earlier comment.  That is to say, 
that I was being too general in my criticism.  It is true, mostly because the comment to which
Balls referrs was not intended as criticism 
so much as an observation/frustration based on BONS.  What I should have said was that the
overuse of such cheaply used 
scatological elements in many of the pieces in BONS as straight boy kisses and masturbation got
me thinking about the fact that, 
given something as incredible as No Shame - that is, given a forum in which you can create
absolutely any piece of time-based art 
that lasts fewer than 5 min(?) and doesn't hurt stuff - given the opportunity to make the kind of
things we really want, we instead 
make the kind of things we've been fed by teevee all along.  Why can't we get beyond it?  That is
to say that my criticism is not 
directed at any one piece because I was not irked by any one piece or performer, I was irked by
the institution of recycling the forms to 
which No Shame exists as an alternative.
     Without going too deeply in depth on a piece by piece basis with regard to this issue, since
that was never my intent, I can say 
that, yes, Balls, I felt that the masturbation at the end of 'Orphan' was excessive and trite.  Up to
about that point, however, the 
monologue is a cleverly crafted interplay of pathos, charm, and revulsion.  While the kissing in
S'ghetti Meets Balls added to the 
sum effect which led me to include kissing as an example, the piece was inventive and bizzare and
Flypaper made a great addition.  
Naturally, it did suffer from the 'second time through' deflation... naturally.
     The important issue here is that it was the sum totalling, not the individual pieces or
performances which led me to my big 
dumb diatribe.  It just got so painfully obvious after a day or two of wondering what was good
and not good in BONS, then seeing a post 
here from someone who actually said that NS Should be a 'sketch comedy show' that I saw what
it was that I really felt was not 
good.  No Shame holds infinite potential; it is an empty vessel which we can fill with all our best
ideas, and a forum in which we can 
test the absolute boundaries of our creative work.  It is sad, but inevitable, then that we instead
only give each other at No Shame 
what we can get elsewhere.  I know that each and every writer and performer who was in BONS
has something beautiful to offer to 
an audience.  I should mention that every piece performed friday DID represent something of such
an offering, but why dillute it with 
clich‚s?  Why diminish it by providing indications that NS offers something which can be gotten
elsewhere?
     Actually, I typed that first message (the one Balls mentions in his MarkMortClark post)
once before and included elements of 
the previous paragraph in it, but it got deleted somehow and the version which got posted
represents my second attempt.  Perhaps if 
that one would have made it, it would have been clearer that I hadn't meant any specific criticism. 
This is my Manifesto on the 
Nature of Art, and it is much bigger than any one piece or performer.
     That said, I will now cut out all the sappy and pretentious bullshit and start studying for
finals.
     Mega-love,
     Infant-love
     -Nick

Time: Tue, 12-Dec-2000 18:14:28 GMT     IP: 63.25.167.229

I've been asked to spread this message around.  It's from Nora 
Garda-Marcos of the UI Center for Advanced Development regarding 
their New Year's Eve show.  If this sounds like something you'd 
like to do, get in touch with Nora (her phone number is below, 
and her email is nmarcos@blue.weeg.uiowa.edu):

Here is the scoop: We'd like to add some comedy to our end of the
year show/celebration. As you'll see, there will be kids/teens 
in the audience so it has to be "politically correct". Also, we 
are all volunteers here, so the performers get free ticket + 
food+ drinks + advertising, but no money.
That's life... At last year's party we had about 150 
people....that's why we are doing it again.
I'm requesting your help to spread the rumor and, if someone is 
interested in presenting an act, please e-mail or call me. 
THANKS!
     KAMKAN PRODUCTIONS invites you to another
         NEW YEAR'S EVE EXTRAVAGANZA
   "...COME TO THE CABARET!"
December 31st., 8:00pm, American Legion Social Room (901 Second 
St., Coralville)
    $15 in advance, $20 at the door (13 and younger, $5)
Hors d'oeuvres/Desserts and Show followed by dancing to DJ 
music! Soft drinks provided. Cash bar.
For tickets and information call
Nora Garda-Marcos, 354-1526
Kameron Spears, 339-7735
Shari Stevens, 341-7144
Thanks again, Nora.

Nora Garda-Marcos
Center for Advanced Development
Univ. of Iowa

Time: Tue, 12-Dec-2000 19:43:28 GMT     IP: 205.188.198.164

Didn't see BONS, as I was face down on Halsted street after one 
too many Sidecars with the Vagina Monologues cast.

But a small idea: instead of doing one monster show in Mabie, 
perform BONS several times in B. Two shows Friday and two shows 
Saturday, or something to that effect, perhaps at 9 PM and 11 
PM. Charge the same price and have the same order, or maybe 
switch some of the shorter pieces in and out. Running BONS 4 
times in B with 144 seats (if I recall) would bring in more 
bodies than one huge show in Mabie, and it would improve the 
general quality by a lot. Mabie is great for Mainstage shows 
(except Hawkeye, but let's not talk about that) but it's bad for 
No Shame. It would also make BONS shorter!

Also, people who don't do the piece they landed in BONS should 
be banned from BONS. It defeats the whole purpose of BONS, which 
is money, of course. That and artistic gratification.

mike

Time: Tue, 12-Dec-2000 21:23:28 GMT     IP: 207.165.237.210

Aww, man!  Somebody get a hold of Paul Rust!  Uncle 
Petey's Goodtime Jolly Hour is a friggin' MUST.

RUST IS A MUST! YEAH!

I'm not so sure "Come to the Cabaret" is really a title 
that holds connotations appropriate for children.  Just 
kidding.  I think this is a great idea and if I could 
restrain my potty mouth for more than half a page I 
would be doing it.

-dan fairchild

Time: Wed, 13-Dec-2000 23:01:01 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.135

   I agree with Mike Rothschild.  Neat

:But a small idea: instead of doing one monster show in Mabie, 
:perform BONS several times in B. Two shows Friday and two shows 
:Saturday, or something to that effect, perhaps at 9 PM and 11 
:PM. Charge the same price and have the same order, or maybe 
:switch some of the shorter pieces in and out. Running BONS 4 
:times in B with 144 seats (if I recall) would bring in more 
:bodies than one huge show in Mabie, and it would improve the 
:general quality by a lot. Mabie is great for Mainstage shows 
:(except Hawkeye, but let's not talk about that) but it's bad for 
:No Shame. It would also make BONS shorter!

   About the following, I would agree, if it weren't my friends 
who do this most, and if it weren't for such wonderful BONS 
crashers as Mose Hayward's interpretive dance to "Fart, fart, 
fart, that's the sound it makes..." and Chris and Jamal's Popeye 
the Sailor Man exchange. 

:Also, people who don't do the piece they landed in BONS should 
:be banned from BONS. It defeats the whole purpose of BONS, which 
:is money, of course. That and artistic gratification.
:
:mike


   I do agree there should be some discouragement, though.

   Now, then, I have just read every post put on this board since 
mid-Saturday and it took me well over an hour to do it.  And it 
was mostly drivel.  And I wish I hadn't read it.
   I LIKE NO SHAME THEATRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
   There is nothing seriously wrong with it.  And audience 
attendance is at the highest it has been in at least two years, 
the two I've been coming.
   BONS was more bad than usual, if only on account of length, but 
has always been better in theory than in practice.
   Also, there were three pairs of "straight" men kissing during 
the night, one of which wasn't supposed to have been there.  It 
was the setup to a very fun joke in Alyssa's piece and "S'ghetti 
Meets Balls" is a wonderful piece of Theatre.

                 -Arlen

Time: Wed, 13-Dec-2000 23:30:09 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.37

:Also, there were three pairs of "straight" men kissing during
:the night, one of which wasn't supposed to have been there.  It
:was the setup to a very fun joke in Alyssa's piece and "S'ghetti
:Meets Balls" is a wonderful piece of Theatre.

so if people wern't performing stuff they pulled out of their own
butts uninvited, there would have have been less psuedo-homo
lip-smacker overload. anarchy is all very well and good till
someone loses an eye.

Time: Thu, 14-Dec-2000 02:05:00 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.147

hey I just wanted to let all you bickering thespians know that I 
smoked a phat blunt before I went to Best Of and I laughed my ass 
off the whole night.
Keep up the good work!

Long live Balls, Paul Rust, and mullets!

--Tommy THC

Time: Thu, 14-Dec-2000 15:52:24 GMT     IP: 216.161.202.99

Mabie is great for Mainstage shows 
:(except Hawkeye, but let's not talk about that) but it's bad for 
:No Shame. 


My God, Mike, it's been over four years since "Hawkeye" and thanks 
to drugs and therapy, the trauma of being in that show was finally 
beginning to subside. Thank you for mentioning it abd ripping open 
the wound once again. Hey, Ma, look what we made! Crap!

About the only change I can justify making to a BONS piece is 
shortening the bastard if there's something you can cut out of it. 
Or modifying it to fit Mabie better. But showing up with a whole 
new piece seems to defeat the purpose of BONS. I mean, it was your 
piece that was selected, not just you as a performer. A new piece 
therefore wouldn't be "Best Of" and thus the program is lying to 
you ...

Okay, fine, what the hell do I know. I only got into BONS once and 
it was the glory moment of my life ...

Time: Thu, 14-Dec-2000 21:13:13 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.190

   I LIKE NO SHAME THEATRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:   There is nothing seriously wrong with it.  And audience 
:attendance is at the highest it has been in at least two years, 
:the two I've been coming.

I agree, I wouldn't say that it has serious problems. I think the 
main thing to learn from this semester is that it was consistent. 
not consistently good or bad, just consistent. The actual quality 
of pieces fluctuated between good and bad just as it has ever since 
I've been going, but it seemed like this semester was a little... 
comfortable. The audience could show up expecting to see certain 
things at certain points in the night, and these expectations were 
almost always met. Nozebone would perform fairly early in the show 
(somewhere between 3 and 6, usually), we'd see the violence guys 
about midway through, and the evening would end with a monologue 
from Balls and Stangl, Stangl's opening and closing with a clever 
(though ultiamtely predictable) use of a blackout. This is not to 
say that the pieces themselves were bad, it's just that part of no 
shame's credo is that it's unpredictable, and when you start seeing 
the same people doing the same stuff at the same points in the 
order, well, it starts to become predictable. So I say next 
semester we fuck around with expectations a little more, put people 
in spots they normally wouldn't take, think as Nick has said less 
about NS as a skecth comedy show and more as a theatrical venue. If 
it doesn't work, so what? We can fix it at BONS, which I can see 
now as a sort of the magical ideal night of a normal No Shame, 
where everything just works out. Those are my closing thoughts on 
the matter, now I get to study for Psychology. Don't forget Enemas 
and Chamberpots tomorrow at 6!!(?) 

Time: Sat, 16-Dec-2000 00:49:42 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.88

WHEN TO SHUT UP YOUR FUCKING MOUTH
by Chris Stangl

1- Pieces this symmmmmester, contrary to popular idiotic-
babbling, did not actually tend to run longer than previous 
symistres.  Serious.  I, personally, rarely even went over two 
pages.  Blacking the lights out on people trying to perform is a 
shitty way to treat artists.

2- No Shame Theatre's Order of the Night is put together half an 
hour before the show starts, and it takes me, Chris Stangl, 
fifteen to twenty minutes to write it down, esp. when Al Angel's 
titles are fuckin'-mini-monologues. I ask EVERYONE where they 
want their piece... MARK.  If you want Nozebone in a different 
spot, then NOZEBONE SHOULD PICK A DIFFERENT SPOT.

3- Chris Stangl takes the final spot because a) he wants the 
glory of being the last thing people see before they go home, b) 
he used to see really shitty endings to NST all the time, 
because the final piece was just some random, forgetable... 
thing, and the last spot is both crucial and really tough, since 
most of the audience is asleep/ bored/ assholes.  So he 
"martyrs" himself for your sins.

4- NST is not a comedy show. It isn't even that useful to think 
of it as a "show," as there is no way to ensure any kind of 
"flow" or "quality" or "coherence." It's closest to an open-mic 
night w/out the mic. It's like a writer's and actor's workshop, 
minus the workshopping. Therefore minus its usefulness as a 
writer's workshop. Thank you.

5- BONS didn't actually run longer than a kind-of long NST. NST 
didn't finish until 1:50 SEVERAL times this season.  That is my 
fault for taking 17, 18, 19 pieces. It is also YOUR fault for 
coming in at the last minute and asking to get in the order. 
BANONS seemed long because you'd seen the pieces before, and 
it's always like that.

6- When writing a review, why in fuck's name does anybody give a 
hopping chocolate FUCK if "I can't remember this piece" or "I 
fell asleep way before this" or "this was good," "My name is 
Arlen Lawson."? They don't.  I hate you with all my forehead-
vein-popping heart. If you don't have CRITICISM of a piece to 
offer, WHY are you spending my time posting?

7- There is NOT actually a plasma shortage, despite what you 
read in the Add Sheet and DI. And when the Plasma Center says it 
closes at 6, that doesn't mean to come in at 5:50. Fucker.

8- If you didn't see the board anywhere near Theatre B before 
shows, then you weren't in Theatre B, which is where the BOARD 
IS BEFORE SHOWS. Also they can be seen TAKING YOUR MONEY. If you 
didn't see them, you have some kind of eye-problem like 
blindness or stupidness.
   Pieces are taken in the lounge at 10:30pm sharp by me, Chris 
Stangl. Were you paying attention EVERY GODDAMN SHOW, during 
EVERY FUCKING SYMESSSSTERWER, you would have heard this 
explained.  How to recognize me Chris Stangl is I have a filthy 
black suit on and bloodshot eyes and big sideburns. My friends 
say I got a masculine face. I look good wit'out a shirt. And I 
hate you still.

     -Chris Stangl, #1 President and Inventor of No Shame!

Time: Mon, 18-Dec-2000 00:55:24 GMT     IP: 216.43.60.15

Stangl- 

I invented No Shame! You stand corrected! You make some shutup 
about that inventing right now or I'll come up there and feed 
you some Tennessee fist, boy!

Al Fucking Gore

ps- I am putting it in Tipper while I write this. Twice! How? I 
made up a way! I'm Al Gore! Goodnight!

Time: Tue, 19-Dec-2000 19:44:51 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.37

Hey--anyone know how Willie Barbour is doing?

-Adam

Time: Tue, 19-Dec-2000 21:30:38 GMT     IP: 144.170.81.9

When last I spoke with Willie, the surgery had gone well, he was 
out of the hospital, and he was still recovering. He may be with 
his folks in Michigan by now; if not, I believe he will be soon. 
Others know more than I do, though.  Mike?  Willie?

From the other side of the world,

Balls

Time: Tue, 19-Dec-2000 23:23:11 GMT     IP: 63.15.137.239

as of last wednesday evening....the day i visited our scalpeled 
friend...he was doing very well...the surgery had gone off very 
well...and i know that he is now at home, having been released on 
friday last week.

golly shit, willie gotsa new brain!

plus he had an awesome wicked cool bandage, and will now forever 
have a scar women would love to "fuck him for".

he did not shave his entire head.

thus, me shaving mine in honor of him proved to be an immense 
failure.  plus, i have really bad acne on my scalp.  i just found 
this out.  

well done willie.  well fucking done.

NEW BRAIN!!

-mike "the next dirt bike kid" cassady

Time: Wed, 20-Dec-2000 03:35:18 GMT     IP: 208.142.211.97

Hi.

I was watching television and I saw a television commercial that 
was trying to sell me a Dell computer for 849 dollars or 
something, with a free scanner or webcam or something else which 
i forgot.

what i mostly remember is that the charming teenager selling the 
bullshit reminded me so much of our own beloved man-child, 
"Jamal" River.

you too may enjoy this phenom

Time: Wed, 20-Dec-2000 15:21:10 GMT     IP: 209.64.154.61

I noticed that too.

I give it the "James Erwin Finds It Eerie" stamp.

If you know any Asian Democrats, tell them I'm looking for them. 
It's kind of depressing to be Chair of the Iowa Democratic 
Party's Asian Caucus when no Asians are involved in party 
matters. Except me. And only half of me, at that. Mostly the 
bottom half, lately.

J. Lin"nell" Erwin

Time: Thu, 21-Dec-2000 08:39:51 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.14

   What kind of person are you that would get drunk and post a 
message on the No Shame board at 2:30 AM?  Do you realize what 
this makes you?
   Love stings in my hearthole, where you will see it.
   There's no such thing as magic.

Time: Tue, 26-Dec-2000 03:18:51 GMT     IP: 158.252.165.97

Howdy all.
     Mer Z-mas.
     I have not seen the television advertisement featuring King 
Toad's doppleganger, Court.  What is it exactly that reminds ye of 
him that Jamal is?  Does he record under the name King Peefart?  
Is the teenager in the advertisement wearing a cheap suit and 
living with Chris Stangl and Alyssa Bow"man"?  Is he simply a 
charming blonde skinny guy?  I am so curious!
     Hooray for Willie's surgery going so well!  For Willie I did 
the closest thing to praying I know how to do: I put my thumb 
throught the ring on my jacket and concentrated on the good luck I 
wanted.  Then I hoped that my good luck would be Willie's, cause 
you have to admit that if something bad happens to Willie, that's 
pretty bad luck for everyone.
     The albfg message is, to the best of my knowledge, not by me, 
despite the fact that, were I drunk enough, I just might say 
something like "Love stings in my hearthole, where you will see 
it. There's no such thing as magic."  Maybe in referrence to the 
Nozebone the Band logo or something, but no.  At least I don't 
think so.  I probably wouldn't use a contraction like 'there's' in 
that sentence anyhow.  Anyone who has evidence to the contrary 
regarding my whereabouts on wednesday night, please contact me and 
I will eat some of your pajamas.
     Adam Burton, your email is not working for me, but thanks for 
saying nice things in it.
     

     -Mer z-man to Al, and to Allah cocoanut.
          Smoochies, NRC

Time: Thu, 28-Dec-2000 11:53:47 GMT     IP: 204.246.221.28

Hello, everyone.  I'm Paul Rust and this is my first message on 
the board (shiver).  I'm going to be a whore and exploit this 
forum to further my own interests.  As mentioned at Best of No 
Shame, the band I lead sing for (a.k.a. The Subordinates) will 
be playing on Friday, December 29th at Iowa City's fine Green 
Room around nine o' clock in the p.m. If you're bored, please 
come. 

(I just realized how weak that last sentence was, so instead 
I'll sell this show with some gusto...)

ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?! ARE YOU READY TO ROLL?! LOOK NO FURTHER 
THAN THE SUBORDINATES, A BAND ONE CRITIC*** PROCLAIMED, "IS THE 
BEST BAND SINCE THE ROLLING STONES!"  IF YOU'RE NOT TOO MUCH OF 
A WUSS, COME ROCK OUT AT THE GREEN ROOM ON FRIDAY, DEC. 29TH AT 
NINE O'CLOCK. FEEL THE ROCK! FEEL THE ROLL! FEEL THE ROCK N ROLL!

***(notice: critic maybe the mother of lead singer)

Time: Sat, 30-Dec-2000 06:35:08 GMT     IP: 38.144.151.137

: The Subordinates) will 
:be playing on Friday, December 29th at Iowa City's fine Green 
:Room around nine o' clock in the p.m.

He kids you not!  For those of you who missed he show, pick up on the Subordinates.  It was
awesome!  Cool to see some NS personality 
participating in a band that is really a band in the biblical sense.  Here we have four kids, not out
of high school long, they play 
electric guitar, bass, drums and keyboard...  And they totally kick your backsides' ears.  I'm not
certain if Rust writes the lyrics, but I 
get the feeling yes.    The lyrics come off like a slightly more aggressive Ben Lee, and the band (I
was worried to see that fully half of 
the band wore Rush t-shirts (shudder), but they overcame this visual handicap aurally, oh yes)
sounds like that quintissential young 
garage band sound that combines the CBGB new wave flavor with the '60s psychedelic drive of
the bands who didn't have enough 
drugs to start thinking  songs needed to last more than about four minutes.  
     Interestingly, Rust's stage persona which seems to charm the pants off us all at NS didn't
seem to be in its element at a bar 
concert.  Maybe it seemed a little too much like Rust was scripted in an environment where
conversationality is integral to the act.

Time: Sat, 30-Dec-2000 16:56:51 GMT     IP: 152.163.213.194

Not knowing much about music, my critique of it will be that it 
was fucking excellent.  I was plenty willing to show up and 
support Paul Rust and his band, but after seeing them I can say 
that I would definitely have enjoyed myself last night had I 
known Paul or not.

:Interestingly, Rust's stage persona which seems to charm the 
pants off us all at NS didn't seem to be in its element at a bar 
concert.  Maybe it seemed a little too much like Rust was 
scripted in an environment where conversationality is integral to 
the act.

Actually, I thought it was fairly conversationalitalable.  He 
might have known very well what he intended to say before he got 
up there, but so do stand-up comedians, and I think his jokes 
were closer to stand-up than your average NS piece.  I've 
performed improv at the Green Room before, and I've found the 
audience there to be really bad about responding to that type of 
jokey atmosphere.  I guess it could be that we really sucked (in 
fact this was very much the case), but nonetheless, I thought 
Paul's little intermissions were quite funny.  Maybe it was more 
in an Andy Kauffman sort of way, where it's funny 'cause it's not 
funny.  This could be the part where I did like him only because 
I knew him.  But hey, fuck you.  Paul's funny.  And he's my 
friend.