Time: Thu, 02-Mar-2000 23:43:19 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.17

This from ISCA, where real men never post

  "Throwing up as performance art is just so unnecessary.  I'd 
just like to say
that for the record.  It's slightly better than shoving a plunger 
into your
rectum, but still."
                      -Brad T Quinn
                       2548 Clearwater Ct.
                       Iowa City, IA  52246
                       Phone: 319-354-2748
                       Email: AshPryder@aol.com


   Unnecessary?  The vomiting was a part of the whole!  It was 
symbiotically grafted to the rest of the skit.  Unnecessary?  
Would the monologue have worked, otherwise?  Would anybody have 
cared?
   Don't get me wrong, Arlen.  I liked and was impressed with 
your monologue before the vomiting began, but really, Brad T 
Quinn, would it have worked if he'd said, "Now, imagine, if you 
will, that I have just vomited into a rather largish jar in an 
attempt to make you experience something real, to make myself 
experience something real with you.  Now then, had I just done 
that, would you now be aware? Would you now get it?"  
   I am convinced that you just did not get it, as evidenced by 
the remainder of your post which I've pasted below.  Or maybe you 
just weren't paying attention to anything he was saying, because 
it seemed to me he was almost belaboring his point and , in 
which case, perhaps more than the vomiting or something 
earlier in the skit was needed to grab your attention.
   

  "Everyone knows that Hollywood isn't real.  That's why we like 
it.  We don't
want to see reality, especially that which consists of puking in 
a glass jar."
                       -Brad T. Quinn


  Also, neither the vomiting nor Stangl's plunger were 
performance art.  Also, it seems funny to me that you have in the 
same post berated two of the most highly effective devices of the 
semester, Stangl's skit drawing some of the largest belly laughs 
I have ever had or been in a crowd full of people having, and 
Arlen's drawing perhaps the loudest and most beautiful silence I 
have ever heard at No Shame.    

                         Yours Turly,
                                Shirley
                               Or Carl...

Time: Fri, 03-Mar-2000 00:12:37 GMT     IP: 166.62.42.88

just to clarify- i believe the plunger reference was about a skit 
done a while back a few years ago, when a performer attached a 
real plunger to the stage, pulled his shorts down, and sodomized 
himself on it.  stangl used a feather duster.

and come see the plays stangl and others wrote at the ten minute 
festival tonight and this weekend, in which i stick even more 
interesting things up my ass.

Time: Fri, 03-Mar-2000 04:16:16 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

:just to clarify- i believe the plunger reference was about a skit 
:done a while back a few years ago, when a performer attached a 
:real plunger to the stage, pulled his shorts down, and sodomized 
:himself on it.  stangl used a feather duster.

Actually, the plunger guy (Sean Williams) fully intended to do 
such a thing but was simply, and I quote, "too nervous" when the 
time came and could not relax enough to make a go of it.  Such is 
life.  Or art or whatever.

Time: Sat, 04-Mar-2000 15:25:33 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.170

A few reviews, while it's still fresh:

Chris O's piece was, like a lot of his work, in danger of coming 
to some sort of sappy ending. It didn't. Here's my sloppy 
paraphrase: "And I got home and you were there. And you kissed me 
and it felt good. So we fucked. And I wondered if love exists, 
maybe this is all it is?" With the love odyssey setup, this was a 
neat, angsty conclusion. I loved it. I also thought Aprille did a 
very funny actress, Mike a hilarious artist, Adam a great lawyer. 
Chris Stangl did the flailing, quirky Stangl performance which 
was nonspecific (though, of course, kind of funny). But in what 
sense was he "playing" a psychiatrist rather than being his 
clowning self? The rest of the skit was tightly written and 
funny.

I liked Chris Stangl's piece but it seemed to have a little less 
force (both comic and dramatic) than his other work. He told me 
he had been trying to copy my style. Ha! Oh, the irony! Also, I 
had been, secretly, trying to write more Stanglishly for last 
night, to have more funny punch, and I thought my piece went over 
better than usual. Well. Don't you people think we all influence 
each other's styles quite often? What a community! Big teary hugs 
for everyone and sloppy wet kisses for Neil!

The car instructions monologue was boring and obnoxious. I assume 
that's the point of doing "instructions" again, but it's 
ultimately self-defeating. And more cowardly than actually trying 
to write.

Jamal Morgan's fart poem-monologue, as delivered by Kelly Rae, 
was super. Jamal has revalidated the funniness of farts by 
recontextualizing their use through alternative casting. Either 
that or Kelly Rae really wanted to do a piece about her smelly 
farts, but was too embarrassed and credited the work to Jamal. 
She should be ashamed of herself!

Kyle was, of course, hilarious. But dammit (and I hate to be the 
turd in the IV drip), there's so much wrong with cripple humor. 
If you're going to rub someone's head into asphalt, you're 
morally better off following the dictum, "Comfort the afflicted, 
afflict the comfortable." _ Except that afflicting the afflicted 
can sometimes be just so funny. Anyway, as I'm sure Kyle's aware, 
you could only get away with that at No Shame.

-- Mose Hayward

Time: Sat, 04-Mar-2000 17:50:22 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.50

Here you go:

1)   Jazz-Ma-Tazz by Jamal River (performed by Kelli Rae Powell)
2)   Life Without:  A poem by Kevin Kasper, #87, adapted for the 
stage by Aaron Galbraith
3)   Don't Go Home With Your Heart On by Aprille Clarke
4)   A Story About Tits by Zachary Robertson
5)   Not Me, Not Me by Mark J. Hansen
6)   Love and Other Four-Letter Words by Christopher Okiishi
7)   Knowing When by Virgin Ears
8)   The Dirty Limerick by Al "Fucking" Angel, John Sawyer
9)   Human Trilogy by Ho!
10)  Why I'm Going to Fail French by Jessica Ahrendt
11)  Studying a broad, French cowhole by Mose Hayward
12)  Peanuts Run Sideways and Backward, So Why Doesn't Tim by 
Nicholas Chappy-Isafucker Clark
13)  Know Thyself by Julia Wilder
14)  Steven Hawking and His Crazy Stand-Up Routine by Steven 
"Kyle "8-Ball" Lange" Hawking
15)  Black Coffee, One Sugarcube, No Koala Fetus by Chris Stangl

There you've gone.

Time: Sat, 04-Mar-2000 18:38:01 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.50

I haven't done a review in a while, but I had some thoughts to 
share.

1)   Jazz-Ma-Tazz by Jamal River (performed by Kelli Rae Powell)

Really swell.  Casting Kelli Rae proved very interesting, not 
only because she is a terrific performer, but because there were 
no expectations of where the sketch might go.  Had Jamal done 
his own piece, I would have been waiting for the change-up to 
comedy (not that Jamal would HAVE to do that, just that he has 
done so in the past)--not so with Kelli Rae.  That said, it was 
a terrifically well written piece, and I agree with Mose's 
assessment to a fart.

2)   Life Without:  A poem by Kevin Kasper, #87, adapted for the 
stage by Aaron Galbraith

Gosh, I wish I'd been able to see this one, but I was busy 
reading an annoying poem attempting to distract from the main 
action.  I miss video taping.

3)   Don't Go Home With Your Heart On by Aprille Clarke

I like nearly everyting Aprille does.  She seems to come from an 
entirely different universe, though we grew up in the same 
town.  Her style and voice are instantly recogniseable.  Even 
her most benign or aimless stuff has an palpable edge.  I liked 
this.  And if I hadn't seen her making the hearts, they would 
have made me sick. 

4)   A Story About Tits by Zachary Robertson

I liked to two point, bi-monologue format, and there were 
several clever one-liners. ("Self-taught Gynocologist.") A 
little long-ish on the man's end, whice impeded the flow a bit, 
but ultimately enjoyable.

5)   Not Me, Not Me by Mark J. Hansen

As distinct a voice as Aprille's.  I liked the "Shirt Fetish" 
and "Drunk in places you never knew existed" bits.

6)   Love and Other Four-Letter Words by Christopher Okiishi

As Mose so kindly pointed out, Aprille, Adam, Chris and Mike 
were really terrific.  I had fun just watching them.  Thanks for 
your sweet words, Mose.  I'll try and steer clear of sap in the 
future.

7)   Knowing When by Virgin Ears

Dramatic piece at No Shame!  By new people, no less!  Could have 
been a little tighter, and less stereotypical, but had the feel 
of a scene from a much longer play.  

8)   The Dirty Limerick by Al "Fucking" Angel, John Sawyer

The Hansen delivery saves the day!  Sorry Al missed this.  And a 
little sorry someone got cut from the order to include such a 
short piece.

9)   Human Trilogy by Ho!

Bit of an inside joke--Adam liked it better after I'd explained 
it to him--but inside jokes are a No Shame staple.  Clever 
staging and balls-out gusto made it watchable for the uninformed.
Still cannot understand the meaning of Mark's first line: "Human 
beings cannot see the truth, because the truth is something that 
are being observed and not what we observe."  What the hell?

10)  Why I'm Going to Fail French by Jessica Ahrendt

Nice auto-biographical bit, from a growing artist.  Give her 
time--I suspect there's more to come.

11)  Studying a broad, French cowhole by Mose Hayward

By all rights should never had worked.  Longish monologue, 
esoteric subject, single-prop humor.  Yet, I thought about it 
all the way home.  Who knew Mose had such physical comedy 
skill?  And the writting was a dead-on accurate parody of its 
subject.  My favorite piece of the night, actually. 
 
12)  Peanuts Run Sideways and Backward, So Why Doesn't Tim by 
Nicholas Chappy-Isafucker Clark

I got paged during Mose's piece and had to run out before this 
started.  I heard solid laughter and applause from the phone, 
though.  How was it?

13)  Know Thyself by Julia Wilder

Also missed most of this.  Came back when the character stared 
cutting up her clothes.  Seemed a little self-indulgent--but 
reads better on paper.  I felt a little left out because I don't 
know any of the people she refers to (Damian, Mike, Peregrine), 
and she didn't give me much of their character.  Her writting 
was almost too personal to be universal.  She hits on a bunch of 
heady subject matter--"Altruism is nothing more than 
sublimation"--but just scratches the surface.  Show more.

14)  Steven Hawking and His Crazy Stand-Up Routine by Steven 
"Kyle "8-Ball" Lange" Hawking

Great gimick!  And although I couldn't completely understand 
pieces of the computer-enhanced speech, it didn't matter because 
I was laughing so hard.  Mose's sensitivity points are well 
taken, but I suspect Stephen Hawking himself would have a sense 
of humor about this.  

15)  Black Coffee, One Sugarcube, No Koala Fetus by Chris Stangl

A Stangl monologue is a thing of beauty.  I wish he had 
approached me for breast-enhancing tips, but the visual was good 
enough.  I keep expecting some truely bizarre or horrifying 
twist in his work, and was a little disappointed that all we got 
was a bag of chicken parts, but, as I've often maintained, the 
strengh of Chris' work is not reliant on shock so much as 
character.  This one reminded me of my great aunt Honi-chan, who 
would easily stab a panda in the eye with a plastic knife 
(indellible image, Chris) if it tried to steal her sock.  

Time: Sat, 04-Mar-2000 18:43:57 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.50

(sorry about the earlier double post.  I get an itchy trigger 
finger from time to time)

All in all a terrific evening, unified by body parts in plastic 
bags, mocking of other artist's efforts (if Mr. Kasper counts as 
an artist), and a freshing trend toward a more even estrogen 
balance.  Girl Power!

Gonna be a long three weeks, though judging from last night's 
sumbission line, maybe I should get in line now...

Time: Sat, 04-Mar-2000 21:02:05 GMT     IP: 205.188.197.187



1)   Jazz-Ma-Tazz by Jamal River (performed by Kelli Rae Powell)
Myself did likah the A.J. and K.R. connection, they should do more together. 
2)   Life Without:  A poem by Kevin Kasper, #87, adapted for the 
stage by Aaron Galbraith
The background hijinks were funny, but we missed out on a damn funny poem and reading by
Okiishi. Next time, think about that, Aaron. I shouldn't have to tell you this. Jesus!
3)   Don't Go Home With Your Heart On by Aprille Clarke
Not my favorite Aprille, but that doesn't mean much, kinda like my opinion. It still was funny, and
Arlen got even more forearm action!
4)   A Story About Tits by Zachary Robertson
A little nervous preaparing for mine, but I pretty much agree with Okiishi on this one. 
5)   Not Me, Not Me by Mark J. Hansen
Basically, I missed being on stage with Brad, no matter how brief. It wasn't received quite as well
as I was expecting, which is why I sped through that monologue. I guess that's what to expect
when you stylistically rip off someone (I thought this stank of a cheap imitation of Bruce
McCulloch.)
6)   Love and Other Four-Letter Words by Christopher Okiishi
Yay for ensemble pieces! Yay for all the people in this ensemble piece! Yay for the
much-anticipated return of Chris Okiishi.
7)   Knowing When by Virgin Ears
I wasn't extremely impressed by the writing, though it wasn't terrible, it just seemed like they were
re-enacting their lives in fornt of us. How fun! But I thought the performances (especially she)
were believable, at least as believable as No Shame can get.
8)   The Dirty Limerick by Al "Fucking" Angel, John Sawyer
I'll just say it now, the title was supposed to be read like someone was saying Al's name to John
Sawyer. It's not Dan's fault, cuz I kinda forgot to mention it. I also apologize for starting before
the poor Vrigin Ears had left. Otherwise, I liked this and had fun doing it.I also wish it had been a
.5 or something, I think Balls got turned away, as well as others. Suck!
9)   Human Trilogy by Ho!
We were discussing this afterward, and you know, I doubt Ho would've been offended by this all
that much. He's a good sport. The stage directions were all written by Stangl, I added the
inappropriate laughter at the beginning
10)  Why I'm Going to Fail French by Jessica Ahrendt
This is my favorite of Jessica's. It was fun and sweet, which I imagine Jessica is, too.
11)  Studying a broad, French cowhole by Mose Hayward
Yay for physical comedy! I should warn you: I've been to Stangolia. The awter is terrible, the
people are all skinny, the national anthem is "Win in the End," and everyone is named Luigi
Mario. Ya got a problem with that!
12)  Peanuts Run Sideways and Backward, So Why Doesn't Tim by 
Nicholas Chappy-Isafucker Clark
The trouble with Nick: he tried to get us to hate him by telling terrible jokes. We laughed! Oops!
It was funny instead. I do think the monologue at the end was dull, and that may have been the
point, but when will we be transported back to the days when the educational portion of the skit
was a little more creatively incorporated, like the Morse Code one? Tell me!
13)  Know Thyself by Julia Wilder
Again, I go with Okiishi on this one. See his review.
14)  Steven Hawking and His Crazy Stand-Up Routine by Steven 
"Kyle "8-Ball" Lange" Hawking
Loved it!!! Not only was the gimmick funny, but the writing. That's a good thing. Yahoo.com!!
15)  Black Coffee, One Sugarcube, No Koala Fetus by Chris Stangl
Did anyone notice the circular structure of this monologue? Neither did I! Take that, you! But
seriously now, and all kidding aside, it was fun, interesting, all that jazzmatazz. 

And those are the Daves I know.

Time: Sun, 05-Mar-2000 05:14:04 GMT     IP: 129.186.74.127


:10)  Why I'm Going to Fail French by Jessica Ahrendt
:This is my favorite of Jessica's. It was fun and sweet, which I 
imagine Jessica is, too.

Thank you, Mark!  I imagine that you are really fun and sweet, 
too!  :-)
-Jessica

Time: Sun, 05-Mar-2000 23:46:14 GMT     IP: 152.163.206.183


:
:
:10)  Why I'm Going to Fail French by Jessica Ahrendt
:
:This is my favorite of Jessica's. It was fun and sweet, which I 
:
imagine Jessica is, too.
:

:
Thank you, Mark!  I imagine that you are really fun and sweet, 
:
too!  :-)
:
-Jessica
:
Markmus is stinky stinkity! He stinks! Like a stink stinks! If that is what you think that is fun and
sweet, then you are wrong!!! It is and only is stinky! Stinkity!!

Time: Wed, 08-Mar-2000 17:20:55 GMT     IP: 152.163.206.208


Argh, my damn computer. Anyway, I just wanted to say it was quiet 
in here...too quiet. 

Much too quie

git tae fuck!

mike

Time: Thu, 09-Mar-2000 05:26:41 GMT     IP: 24.9.192.139

Hey Mike,
     Just curious, but what ever happened to the collaboration No 
Shame pieces that you suggested a while back (I forget, but I 
think it must have been mid Fall semester)  Did those ever come 
together?
   Kehry

Time: Fri, 10-Mar-2000 18:04:58 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.174


:12)  Peanuts Run Sideways and Backward, So Why Doesn't Tim by 
:Nicholas Chappy-Isafucker Clark
:The trouble with Nick: he tried to get us to hate him by telling 
terrible jokes. We laughed! Oops! It was funny instead. I do think 
the monologue at the end was dull, and that may have been the 
point, but when will we be transported back to the days when the 
educational portion of the skit was a little more creatively 
incorporated, like the Morse Code one? Tell me!


Here I will let people in on some secrets about the instructions 
gig.  I was not trying to get the audience to hate me, but merely 
trying to get them to feel uncertain as to whether the piece was 
funny or not.  The lines "Was that supposed to be a joke?" and 
"I'm not laughing" were included to cue the audience in that what 
appeared to be weak jokes may not have been jokes at all.  The 
distinction between comedic piece and serious piece is usually so 
strong that it produces very formulaic writing: a person writes in 
the style of a comedic NS piece, or a serious one.  One exception 
to this is most of the work of Mr. Stangl (also some of the work 
of Mr. Brooks) who deals with very serious issues and thoughts 
which we have all had to deal with in a way that makes us laugh.  
Frequently because of this, the act of laughing which we engage 
in feels slightly innappropriate.  
       The other reason for my use of instructions is a sense that 
each piece owes its audience something.  Most pieces give the 
audience a laugh, or a sense of some vague emotion they may have 
felt at some point.  How is giving the audience a practical set of 
instructions for a fairly common activity any different?  First, 
instructions are more concrete and are not subject to 
interpretation.  Second, their utility to the audience is plainly 
visible, wheras the utility of an empty eggshell (just an example. 
 Don't think I'm picking on you Dan, Bill, Kevin, Justin)is hazy 
at best.  Because they do not engage the emotions of the audience 
are instructions a less valid dividend than some miasmic sense of 
catharsis or a cheap laugh?  That question is intended as 
rhetorical, but I'd love to hear arguments the other way.

Luvsexdrugsnroknrol, Nick.

Time: Fri, 10-Mar-2000 21:58:36 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.112


It was excellent, you make perfectly valid points, no one 
understands because everyone stinks!!!!!!!!!!! Nick you have an 
ass.

Time: Sat, 11-Mar-2000 00:55:16 GMT     IP: 209.253.130.39

Hey, did any of you know that today is the thirtieth anniversary 
of the release of my master-piece album, AFTER THE GOLD RUSH?  I 
think we should all get together, smoke some grass, listen to my 
album, and think about how cool and great I am.  What do you kids 
say?
Sincerly,
Neil Young

Time: Sat, 11-Mar-2000 01:12:11 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.172


Neil who?

Time: Sat, 11-Mar-2000 19:00:15 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

Well, it was a bold, persistent group, albeit small.  Even 
a few folks (non-performers) who showed up thinking it was a 
regular No Shame night.  Which it was, minus most of the 
audience and keys to Theatre B.  (That's for the record, 
Jeff--this show took place in the lobby.)  Anyway, without 
further ado, the order. All pieces performed by author unless 
otherwise noted.

1) "Spring Break?  What's That?" by Chris Okiishi
   performed by Chris Okiishi and Adam Burton
2) "You Take the High Road, I'll Take the Blow" by Nick "I Don't
    Really Do Coke" Clark
3) "Book Truck Fever" or "Disco While Getting Paid" by James
    Erwin
4) "Okay, So I Do Love My Dad After All," by Ben Zolno (a No
    Shame vet for those who don't recognize the name; just
    swinging through town and decided to drop in)
5) "May Glove to Me" by Aprille Clarke
6) "Still Pootin' After All These Years: A Tribute to Paul
    Simon" by Chris Stangl and Jamal River

Clearly the best way to be assured a spot in the order is to go 
when there's not officially a show.  :)  Maybe we should start 
doing impromptu Saturday night performances..

So what'd ya'll (the few, the proud) think of the show?

-Adam

Time: Sat, 11-Mar-2000 19:18:22 GMT     IP: 205.188.192.38

WHAT!?!?!  There was a show and I missed it?
Well, now I'm depressed.

Time: Sun, 12-Mar-2000 21:05:54 GMT     IP: 207.177.78.194

if this isn't a hoax, i'll feel very left out....but i was at a 
party with dr. stanglove and sr. rivers friday night...and i 
think its a hoax.  i didn't hear anything about it.

if this really happened, im both proud and ashamed of our 
followers - proud for being so dedicated - and ashamed that they 
didn't know the system enough to not show up.

that sounded mean, io didn't mean it that way, im glad if there 
was another show, but reluctant to believe in this mythical 
spring break no shame.

did it happen or not?

-flacidy

Time: Mon, 13-Mar-2000 01:15:38 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

:if this isn't a hoax, i'll feel very left out....but i was at a 
:party with dr. stanglove and sr. rivers friday night...and i 
:think its a hoax.  i didn't hear anything about it.

Well I didn't hear anything about the party, so I guess that 
didn't happen either...  ;)

-Adam

Time: Mon, 13-Mar-2000 06:49:43 GMT     IP: 205.188.198.39


Well I didn't hear anything about the party, so I guess that 
:
didn't happen either...  ;)

I heard about neither the party or the impromptu performance. 
Nobody tells me anything. I hate my life. Someone kill me.

mike

Time: Mon, 13-Mar-2000 18:49:04 GMT     IP: 152.163.204.67

:if this isn't a hoax, i'll feel very left out....but i was at a 
:
party with dr. stanglove and sr. rivers friday night...and i 
:
think its a hoax.  i didn't hear anything about it.

Well - here we have proof that the spring break No Shame did not 
take place!  Flacidy says that he was at a party with sirs Stangl 
and River, yet they are listed in the order as performers!  
Hmmmm.....either Chris and Jamal each have a double or somebody 
made this up.  I doubt that any two guys could pull off being 
Chris and Jamal, so Adam Burton must have been feeling feisty and 
made this all up, just to get our goats.  Well, thank God I've 
got my goat back.  I missed him.

Time: Mon, 13-Mar-2000 20:21:33 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.37

:Well - here we have proof that the spring break No Shame did not 
:take place!  Flacidy says that he was at a party with sirs Stangl 
:and River, yet they are listed in the order as performers!  
:Hmmmm.....either Chris and Jamal each have a double or somebody 
:made this up.

Ah, but did anyone say what TIME Chris and Jamal were at the 
party?  Or what time they left?  And perhaps even mysteriously 
reappeared a little while later with mischievous 
we-know-something-you-don't grins on their faces?

:I doubt that any two guys could pull off being 
:Chris and Jamal, so Adam Burton must have been feeling feisty and 
:made this all up, just to get our goats.

Okay, so that too is a distinct possibility.

-Adam

Time: Tue, 14-Mar-2000 02:10:46 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.180

OK, lemmee just clear this up once and for all: no I was not at a 
spontaneous lobby-version of No Shame, nor was I at some "party" 
with some "Mike" guy and some "Sta" "ngl" guy. I can tell you 
with absolute candor that from 4:00 pm Friday till 2:00 am 
Saturday I was beating up your mother. She died. And so did all 
your friends. So please, let's get our stories straight.

-Jamal  

Time: Tue, 14-Mar-2000 02:12:22 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.180

Wait, that was MY mom. Damn. That's really sad.  

Time: Tue, 14-Mar-2000 07:00:00 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

:Wait, that was MY mom. Damn. That's really sad.  
:
The truth is that it was not sirs Stangl, River or Clark who performed in friday's impromptu NS. 
I, my friend Court and Chris' doppleganger Aanky Podunkulous sat in for those fellows, taking
one step further into assuming their identities.  We figured that becuase it wasn't an official NS
night, it would be a good opportunity to slip into their shoes for a single glorious moment.  Sorry
for any confusion this may have caused.
                                  -Corbin Tallion, Stunt double to Mr. Clark
                                  -Court Banks, Stunt double to Mr. River
                                       -Aanky Podunkulous, Stunt double to Mr. Stangl.

Time: Tue, 14-Mar-2000 07:12:04 GMT     IP: 152.163.195.207

:OK, lemmee just clear this up once and for all: no I was not at 
a 
:
spontaneous lobby-version of No Shame, nor was I at some "party" 
:
with some "Mike" guy and some "Sta" "ngl" guy. I can tell you 
:
with absolute candor that from 4:00 pm Friday till 2:00 am 
:
Saturday I was beating up your mother. 

I know what I was beating up friday night...

oh dear.

mike

Time: Tue, 14-Mar-2000 22:51:36 GMT     IP: 152.163.195.207


:Wait, that was MY mom. Damn. That's really sad.  
:
Sorry, A.J. We thought you knew. How wrong we were. I could just kick myself.... There. 

Sadly, very sadly. 

Time: Thu, 16-Mar-2000 23:53:19 GMT     IP: 205.160.208.83

WE (mostly me, the board and rocky at this point) in the 
organizing/planning stages of a no shame cd which would feature 
all of your favorite tunes from past seasons of no shame.

we've (i've) got a working list, and next week we (the board and 
i) will try to make some final decisions so that we can begin 
recording the tracks in the next couple of weeks.

but now is the time for anyone to nominate their favorites so 
that we have everyones input before we make any final decisions.

so...bring it on....lets hear about everything youd like to buy a 
cd of.

right now.

pronto.

that is all.

Time: Fri, 17-Mar-2000 02:29:15 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

Jiggy Janga, Al's thing from a few weeks ago, Magnus, The song about Irving Weber who doesn't
poop or pee since he died, the song about how fart is the sound it makes when the gas escapes,
Aprille's song about sperm and pee (with the dialogue included), anything by Ben Schmidt,
Melodica Monologua by Mark Hansen, More Singing More Happiness by Mike Rocky and
Mario, A song by Chris Stangl, the one that Kyle did a few weeks ago, the Oscar Meyer Wiener
song from the end of "Arlen Lawson Plays Horp in this Sketch" by me, the snoopy song, the
hamster song
There must be more, but those are the ones I think of now.  Oh, James Horak's song about his
bird.

Time: Fri, 17-Mar-2000 03:05:22 GMT     IP: 205.188.192.28

so...bring it on....lets hear about everything youd like to buy a 
cd of.
right now.

Okay.  You want it.  You got it.
1.Ben Schmidt - "In the Mood"
2.Kyle Lange - "Suzanne and Ben"
3.Mike Cassady - "Homeless Johnny"
4.Arlen - tree flower song
5.James Horak - "Growing Up" - I know this one is older, but I 
LOVE IT and I'll CRY if it isn't on the CD.

pronto.

I used to work at a gas station called Pronto.  It was behind 
those bright red countertops that I was first introduced to the 
idea that people are intricate and complicated and 
beautiful...and also that they are slobbering idiots.

I cannot wait to buy the No Shame CD!!!!!
-Jessica

Time: Fri, 17-Mar-2000 16:12:18 GMT     IP: 152.163.197.61

I WILL BUY 400 COPIES OF ANY CD WITH BEN SCHMIDT ON IT.  LOTS 
AND LOTS AND LOTS OF BEN SCHMIDT.  OODLES OF HIM.  "THANK GOD 
FOR MOMMIES" AND ALL THOSE SONGS WITH THE STEEL THING AND THE 
ONE WHERE HE DRAGS HIS WOMAN UP THE STAIRS AND...AND...

HELL....JUST PUT ALL HIS SONGS ON IT.  THANK YOU.

Time: Sat, 18-Mar-2000 03:25:10 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.112

* "Ode to Lenny," by Mose Hayward (as performed by Jamal River)

* "The Key to Happiness is at the End of the Chorus" by Aprille 
Clarke

*Chris Stangl's cover of "Place in France"

*Ben Schmidt "A Song That Really Impresses Me, But That I Can't 
Remember a Thing About."

* "No Such Word," by Jamal.-- At last report, cuppla days ago, 
Jamal's singing voice is still damaged from a sledding 
accident.  Hopefully it will be better by then, lest Sled Club 
claim yet another victim.

* "More Singing, More Happiness," -- Why was this not in best 
of?  Why?

* "Jiggy Jenga"  Is it wrong to nominate a song you helped write?

* "Treeflowers"  Is it wrong to nominate a song you wrote all of 
yourself?  Yes?  Well, you didn't, so there.  I wrote it.  And 
it's not wrong.   


            YOYRUAPP,
                  Arlen 

Time: Sat, 18-Mar-2000 18:56:29 GMT     IP: 205.188.195.48

It's a good idea, yes.

However, why not put some pieces on there as well, instead of 
just songs...the way the Simpsons CD's put songs, but also have 
bits of dialogue on there too. Because it doesn't look like 
there's enough songs to do a CD, and many great performers do 
not write songs or sing songs, and it would be a shame if just a 
few people were on the CD because they were liked more than 
other people because they sing songs.

That last sentance doesn't make a lot of sense, but you get the 
point, eh.

celtic rangers rule, oi.

mike

Time: Sat, 18-Mar-2000 20:24:28 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

:Because it doesn't look like 
:there's enough songs to do a CD

If there aren't enough songs from the current generation of 
performers (I'm betting there are, though) there is a GREAT WEALTH 
of songs from recent and not-so-recent past performers that could 
fill it out.  I have a CD of Patrick Deegan's, for example, which 
includes several excellent things he performed at one time or 
another at No Shame.  There are also tapes of Greg Mitchell songs, 
the Cain Brothers, and I have a hi8 tape of a couple of Scott 
Smith musicals featuring songs that have seen the No Shame 
stage--all of which might well translate to CD with a reasonable 
level of sound quality.

-Adam

Time: Sun, 19-Mar-2000 03:00:31 GMT     IP: 205.188.193.173

Since someone has already nominated every song I've seen at No 
Shame, I'd like to ardently second a few of those 
nominations . . . :

Treeflowers by Arlen
No Such Word by Jamal
Jiggy Jenga by Arlen-&-Jamal
The "I Want To Go Down On You" song by Ben Schmidt
Also, isn't Ben Schmidt going to have his own CD soon? Is there 
any No Shame song of his that won't be on that CD?  If yes, then 
I nominate that.  

. . . and un-nominate a couple that I could do without:

More Singing, More Happiness
Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Cum

The former was fun, but not so much that I want very badly to 
hear it again.  The latter I disliked the first time.  Love 
everything else Aprille does, but hated that.  Hated it with the 
white-hot fire of a thing that's been drenched in gasoline and 
then ignited until it is white-hot and on fire.  Like my pants.  
OK, maybe the burning sensation is caused not so much by my 
hatred as the literal conflagration of my trousers as the 
synthetic material melts and is fused with my skin, but I still 
don't like the song.
 
Merideth

Time: Sun, 19-Mar-2000 03:11:17 GMT     IP: 205.188.198.157

HERE'S WHAT I WANT:::
I want Nick Clark to sing Hyper Ballad, I want Kehry Lane to sing an ode to his nipples, I want
Mike Cassady to make out with Neil Campbell in 6/8 time, I want Ben Schmidt to sing about the
gay and the retarded, I want AJ River to scat a chorus of the Teen Wolf soundtrack, I want
everyone to join me in a rousing rendition of Love in an Elevator in the original Latin, I want
madness, I want mirth, I want music!!! 
I also think that the Cain Brothers and Greg Mitchell should definitely be on this cd.
That is all.
P.S. Someone should convince Willie Barbour to sing at No Shame so he could be considered for
this as well.

Time: Sun, 19-Mar-2000 03:32:38 GMT     IP: 152.163.206.193

I say again:

Maybe there should be a way of including non musical No Shame 
performers, because there are lots of us...them.

Eh, who am I kidding? If I don't like it, I won't buy it. Is 
simple.

mike

P.S. Anyone drinking tonight?

Time: Sun, 19-Mar-2000 05:46:44 GMT     IP: 206.230.237.131

yeah..everybody keep in mind that these tunes dont have to be 
from the last two semesters only...if you remember any numbers 
at all youve ever heard at no shame...let me (us) know.

also.....frothy....the plan right now is to include only the 
musically oriented sketches.  things like "Mel's Diner" that Dan 
did a couple of semesters ago....and james erwins classic Tom 
Waits parody.

because it will be a cd of music.

if theres ever a no shame video release, i think that would be 
the perfect opportunity to document sketches and the like.

there will also be short sound bytes of standard shows 

things like:
"hello and welcome to no shame theatre!!!!"

"thank you and see you next week"

"sweet christ, somebody get this rothschild off of my penis"

and etc.

keep the nominations coming...so far its mostly what we had 
planned, but very helpful....we need more opinions.

and meredith....flattery will get you everywhere...you little 
minx.

love,

Mike of Cassady

Time: Sun, 19-Mar-2000 14:46:48 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

:yeah..everybody keep in mind that these tunes dont have to be 
:from the last two semesters only...if you remember any numbers 
:at all youve ever heard at no shame...let me (us) know.

Okay, I nominate "Dubuque" by Patrick Deegan (or "Mercy", "Oceans 
for Me", "A Song for Paula", or "Aeroplane"...)

I also nominate "Julio" by Scott Smith (performed at the Best of 
the Best of No Shame), and/or the "Iowa Song" and/or "Everything's 
Fine" (both of which appeared in his latest musical, a musical 
that was rife with songs and skits performed at one time or 
another at No Shame--but these two songs never quite appeared at 
No Shame, but man oh man do they kick butt, but "Julio" is great 
too).

And I re-nominate Greg Mitchell, though I'd have to go back and 
look 'em all over again to decide which song(s).

Chris Okiishi's song re: "the wedding invitations are ready to go, 
baby--where should I send yours...?"  or the song from 
"Interruptions".

-Adam

Time: Sun, 19-Mar-2000 14:52:55 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

Given how poorly theatre tends to translate onto video, putting 
carefully selected skits on CD wouldn't be the worst idea in the 
world...  Some skits give you enough auditory clues to work with, 
to visualize what people are up to..  And comedy albums aren't a 
new thing.  You could assemble audio for some skits, run 'em by 
people who never saw 'em, and see which ones work and which 
don't.  Monologues, yes, some skits, ANYTHING with Greg Mitchell 
doing "the Greg Mitchell voice" (talk about an aural treat), tons 
o' stuff.

Time: Sun, 19-Mar-2000 15:02:07 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

Something by Megan Gogerty.  I'd nominate "The Drinking Song" but 
the Mill might get antsy about being immortalized as the bar that 
doesn't card.  :)  But she did quite a few original, funny 
musical numbers.  Maybe "Metropolitan Council Transit Operations" 
or the wedding song whose title escapes me.

I'd also be curious to see (ouch) how "I Drive On" works as an 
audio-only piece.  Mebbe yes, mebbe no..?

"The Golem Song" by James Erwin.

Time: Sun, 19-Mar-2000 16:10:45 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.112

   Adam's mention of a Chris Okiishi song put me in mind of the 
Space Place Piano Song he did, the hook of which was, I 
believe, "I love you because loving you pisses off my mom," or 
something like it.  I checked the old orders and it was 
titled, "A Valentine's Day Song."  At least that was its title 
for the No Shame performance of it, which, incidentally, was on 
Valentine's Day Weekend.  
   Also, from checking the old orders, it appear that it was the 
first thing I ever saw at No Shame, as it opened the first night 
I attended.  I was not aware of that...
   In short, I nominate it.
   I also like the way Kyle plays a guitar.  Did I mention that 
last time?  Well, it's true...  I like the way Kyle plays a 
guitar.
   Also, Ben plays a song at No Shame a lot.  So does Jamal.  I 
don't think it would be criminal for either of them to have more 
than one song on the No Shame CD.
   What will be the recording process?  A live No Shame Sings 
night with microphones and stuff hooked up to recording 
equipment, or will there be a studio involved?  I've heard 
speculation, rumors, and opinions in favor of each from various 
sources.
  
      My Friend and Mine,
 
  Arlen "Jimmy 'Foghorn "Largish Penis" Leghorn' Stewart" Lawson

Time: Mon, 20-Mar-2000 00:56:13 GMT     IP: 152.163.197.73

No, Arlen, you're wrong. The Chris Okiishi song that is absolutely necessary is Can't Get Over
You, from I think a few Halloweens ago (?) Maybe knott (s). Oh, and if we want to preserve the
voice of Greg Mitchell, how about Off into the Night. And another fella with a great audio voice
(that phrase sounds like something an idiot would say) is The Barbour of Willville. 

Time: Mon, 20-Mar-2000 03:38:57 GMT     IP: 152.163.207.196

I'm glad someone agrees with me about having non music 
stuff...if anyone doesn't know how well having both spoken text 
and music on one recording can work, snag a copy of "Nighthawks 
At The Diner" by Tom Waits, it'll blow your mind.

I think it would be cool as hell to turn B into a studio for a 
night, do it as a "live" CD, but with old pieces. Bring in a 
special invited audience and do as a sort of Best Of, with Dan 
and Kyle reading off the order of the CD at the start of the 
show, then maybe as a kicker put one or two of the older songs 
from years past on as bonus tracks. I think that would kick ass. 
Yes.

the head stooge
mike

Time: Mon, 20-Mar-2000 20:40:03 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.177

This is just a lovely idea, and I'm really glad somebody's taking 
charge and getting it done.  Here are a few thoughts and 
nominations:
 
My number 1 all-time favorite No Shame song is "Julio," though I 
don't know who wrote it.  It was performed by Megan Gogerty and I 
saw it at Best Of Best Of way back when.  I think someone else 
already nominated this, but I want to add my vehement agreement.  
It was so funny I nearly peed myself. 
 
"Magnus" (acoustic version) by Jamal.

I second "Place in France" as interpreted by Chris Stangl.

"No Shame Can Licky Me Butty" or whatever it was called, a 
spontaneous performance at Best Of a few semesters back by Mose.
 
Whatever song it was Greg Mitchell did awhile back that was about 
piggies and contained the line "pink butt cheeks."
 
Chris Okiishi's song with Greg that had the same chords as "99 
Luft Balloons" that was something like "can't get over you."
 
And while I'm terribly sorry that Merideth hated Yo Ho Ho and a 
Bottle of Cum so much that she found it necessary to mention her 
pants, it would be impossible for me to recreate anyway because I 
wrote that guitar tab in a big hurry and I have no idea where it 
is or how it went.  I would, however, be delighted to do the Low 
Standards song again (aka The Key to Happiness is at the End of 
the Chorus) were the gods to deign it worthy.
 
Although it goes without saying, anything by Ben Schmidt.

Rock on, loverfriends.

Time: Mon, 20-Mar-2000 22:21:32 GMT     IP: 152.163.204.209

I really liked the low standards song!  I would've seconded that 
nomination, also, but "The Key to Happiness is at the End of the 
Chorus" didn't trigger my memory.  But now I do.  Second it.  
Hard.

Merideth

Time: Tue, 21-Mar-2000 04:12:40 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.180

I second votes for songs! Especially the old ones I don't even 
remember! From back when I was a babe. A stupid insentient fetus.

I do vote against "dialogue" on the album, though. If I was 
trying to boogy in my own house with my very own No Shame record, 
"dialogue" parts would grate up my toosh shaking. A booger in 
that suggestion.

Mose

Time: Tue, 21-Mar-2000 13:20:13 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

:I do vote against "dialogue" on the album, though. If I was 
:trying to boogy in my own house with my very own No Shame record, 
:"dialogue" parts would grate up my toosh shaking. A booger in 
:that suggestion.

Yeah, I'd be more interested in (aside from a music CD) a totally 
separate comedy CD.  Just pick the skits that sound like they 
woulda worked on the radio.  Some skits simply wouldn't be hurt by 
being audio-only, and some would be almost enhanced by leaving 
more to the imagination.  For an example of the former, try this:

http://www.english.upenn.edu/~wh/activities/wxpn/8Jacobson.ram

Carolyn rocks.

-Adam

Time: Tue, 21-Mar-2000 23:19:23 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.59

                  BUYER BE-WARY
           newsflash, braniac!, by Chris Stangl

  In 1989, CBS Records released an ablum titled "Good Girls 
Don't Last" from a glam/metal girl group (in the grand tradition 
of Femme 2 Femme and, uh, the Andrews Sisters) who billed they-
selves as "NO SHAME".
  While the band has no relation to our beloved No Shame 
Theater, I thought all fans of Iowa City's own hyperoffensive 
"experimental" "theater" ("comedy sketch") event would love to 
either draw inappropriate parallels or be forwarned, should they 
run across a cd bearing the words NO SHAME 'cross the front of a 
blue-tinted photograph of a young woman exposing much cleave and 
much large hair and much tattoo, that they are likely not 
purchasing the as-yet-unrecorded "No Shame THEATER album" 
(though similar cover art will certainly be selected).
    The track listing is: "No Shame," "East of Eden," "Cheater," 
"Good Girls Don't," "It Could Be You," "Wild Wild Life," "I 
Wanna Scream," "You're So Cool," "A Hard Man Is Good To Find," 
and "Sweet Revenge"... some of which sound like NST titles 
anyway.
    No Mark, I do not know if the above is a cover of Talking 
Heads' brilliant 1986 rave-up "Wild Wild Life."

Time: Wed, 22-Mar-2000 07:57:04 GMT     IP: 152.163.204.209



    No Mark, I do not know if the above is a cover of Talking 
:
Heads' brilliant 1986 rave-up "Wild Wild Life."


i wish others had been around when I read this, cuz it was really funny, since it was exactly what I
was thinking. 

I guess you had to be there. 

Time: Thu, 23-Mar-2000 21:56:51 GMT     IP: 24.10.172.239

I do vote against "dialogue" on the album, though.  A booger in 
that suggestion.

Two boogers, Mose.  Two.

Time: Fri, 24-Mar-2000 05:59:01 GMT     IP: 166.62.45.122

i agree.  i think sound bites would work well, i think i heard 
cassady mention a brad smith stage cross, or something similar.  
but as far as trying to put sketches or monologues or anything of 
substantial length without music, doesnt get my vote.  the 
stubble has spoken-

Time: Fri, 24-Mar-2000 17:42:28 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.12

   I suppose it is too late to nominate anything I have heard at 
No Shame, but I will second and third(?) some songs that I have 
liked.

Well, I have got one nomination.

"At My Head" by Chris Stangl


That's the nomination.  Seconds and thirds?

Growing Up -Horak
No Such Word -Jamal
Ode to Lenny -Jamal
Treeflowers -Arlen
Melodica Monologua -Hansen
The Key to Happiness... -Aprille
People Are Strange -The Doors


       That is all.

Time: Sat, 25-Mar-2000 00:12:56 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.73

MOSE MADE ME A CHOKLIT PHOSPHATE FOR LUNCH
           by Chris Stangl 007.5

Guess what? Because No Shame authors feel little-to-no need for 
titles with any bearing on piece-content, scouring the order for 
a complete list of music-based pieces didn't work a'tall!

Chris Stangl wants recordings of these songs, bearing in mind 
that Chris Stangl doesn't "like" "funny" songs, and doesn't like 
albums of a person and their acoustic guitar, which means the 
"NO SHAME COMES ALIVE!" album will be, probably, not very 
interesting to him:

Kevin Wall- A Song (selections from Rent)
Bill Bungeroth- The Good Girls Never Leave (with electro-guitar 
levels rectumified)
Ben Schmidt- A Song (this is joke)
Mike Rothschild- The Entertainer: An Introduction 
Jamal River- Ode to Lenny ("You're So {Gay and Retarded}") Duh. 
Why haven't more 
of you "voted" for your favorite funny song ever?
 I Drive On
Cassady, Horak, Sosa- More Singing, More Happiness
Alyssa Bowman- The True Story of How Mose Hayward Lost His 
Virginity (BONS 
VERSION- AKA "Fart Fart Fart" by J. River)
Jamal River- "Every One At No Shame Can Lick My Butt" (whatever 
fake title it was 
performed under- The I Shake My Stankin Ass Song - ?)
Horak- Growing Up
River- Fart Butt Drink Pee This is not a song.

Really, though, there's only ONE song I want on disc. And I'm 
not sure if this is the right piece-title, but:

Greg Mitchell- Plumbing the Depths
"You ate a bowl of your own after biiirth!"

THAT song.


Thank you and gooneye.

Time: Sat, 25-Mar-2000 00:35:58 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.139

Songs: Fart:

1) Jingy Jangy by Arlen and me. Jamal.
2) The a cappela Mandi song from a couple semesters ago. Title? 
I don't know.
3) The song by Ben Schmidt where Adam played a kids' toy for 
percussion. Don't know the name but it was my favorite Ben song 
ever. 
4) Homeless Howie by Cassady and Horak and Mario Mario.
5) Blue Room or whatever it was called by Christoph Stangl.
6) The Entertainer an Enterduction by Mikes Roy-cho.
7) Old Smell Tomato by Al Angel.
8) Trees Fart by Arlen law-So! Do they..?
9) I'm A Gay Retarted by me. Yes this was the funniest song I 
ever did so don't vote for my other less funny songs gosh darn 
it. Oh, except maybe:
10) Fart Fart I Fart! The Alyssa Mose dance best-of song. That's 
the sound it makes.
11) Place in France by Chris Stangl.
12) The last song Ben Scgmidt did. I liked it.
13) Not anymore songs! Please! Well, maybe more. I don't care. 
Go ahead and put them on please. Sure. Fine.

-you.

Time: Sat, 25-Mar-2000 16:18:28 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.57

Here we go:

1)  Apartment Stoop by Arlen Lawson and Mark Hansen
2)  Acceptance by Josh Vander Ploeg
3)  The Planet in the Polka-Dot Dress by Mose Hayward
4)  Much Ado About Urine by Aprille Clarke
4.5)The Recycled Substitute by Your Mom, Nick Clark
5)  Smackie. Smackie. Smick. Kip. by Jamal River
6)  You Eat Like a Pig.  Did You Say Pork? by Kevin Fitzpatrick
7)  I Remeber the Events of Darkness or Lunatic Raving #3 by 
James Horak
8)  The Masturbation Sketch by Ed Irving and Al Angel, without a 
damn bit of help from John Sawyer
9)  The Falling Song by Kelli Rae Powell
10) White Boy Millionaire Rich Kid Club by former presidential 
candidate John McCain, edited by  Neil Van Gorder
11) Why I'm Here (and You Should Be Too) by Julia Wilder
12) A Bittersweet Winter Night by Neil "Balls" Campbell
13) Better than a Man in that Respect by Mark J. Hansen
14) Beautiful Shock Therapy by Sheri Rhoades
15) Over In Chinatown by Chris Stangl

Here I go.

Time: Sat, 25-Mar-2000 16:27:28 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.57

Sorry so late--apparently these were left in the light booth, 
and were recovered by an intrepid soul last night.

1)  I Love Pokemon by Baker McDonald
2)  That Funny, Funny, Awful Little Baby by Jamal River
3)  Plagiaristic Nut Roll by YOUR LOVER Nick Clark
4)  Hamsters will Dance and Your Opinion of Me will Fly out the 
Window by Jessica Ahrendt
5)  Barbara's Purple Townhouse by Justin Claussen
6)  Tomato by J. A. Angel-Sawyer
7)  The Tale of Herman "Fat Man" Parker by James Horak
7.5)  Egg by Arlen Lawson
8)  Reinvention by Zachary Robertson
9)  Initial Here: a Twisted Valentine by Briana Sprecher
10) Monsters Under My Bed by George Anastasiou
11) Vulnerability: Feelings by Kyle Lange
12) The Elitist French Part II:  A Summary of Mose Hayward's Six 
Month Stay in Chile by Alyssa Bowman
13) Part Three by Dan Hall
14) Vacation Diary by Christopher Okiishi
15) Your Grandparents' Bathroom a valentine card by Chris Stangl

Finally.  Again, sorry for the delay.  Bad board!  Bad board... 

Time: Sun, 26-Mar-2000 02:40:43 GMT     IP: 205.160.208.156

Actually, the correct title/author combo for #13 on February 11th 
is "Part Three By Dan Hall" by Neil "Balls" Campbell and Mike "?" 
Cassady.  We were being tricky when we came up with that 
particular title!  It was the obnoxious sketch where Mike and I 
tried to get Arlen laid.  Did it work?  Maybe Arlen will post 
something to let us know!

More from me later, on all the things from last night's show that 
make me want to complain and spit.

-Balls

Time: Sun, 26-Mar-2000 10:07:26 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.18


:Did it work?
:
:-Balls

Yes.

Merideth

Time: Sun, 26-Mar-2000 23:13:47 GMT     IP: 205.188.199.164


:
:
:Did it work?
:
:
:
:-Balls
:

:
Yes.
:

:
Merideth

Hell yes.




Mark

Time: Mon, 27-Mar-2000 07:47:54 GMT     IP: 152.163.207.188

:
:
:Did it work?
:
:
:
:-Balls
:

:
Yes.
:

:
Merideth

TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!

yuck.

Time to climb on something.

rb

Time: Mon, 27-Mar-2000 17:06:31 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.2



:
TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!
:

Yeah, really. We've ALL sexed Arlen, but who wants to hear about 
it? Blech.

Time: Mon, 27-Mar-2000 23:21:06 GMT     IP: 205.188.199.201

I love the way that the subject of having sex with Arlen has become the way we're avoiding
talking about last friday's show. I think it's a habit we should adopt for other shows of its kind, or
pieces. Example:
 A: How about that Copper Dog sketch?
 B: I think that guy had sex with Arlen.
A: Oh Yeah? So you think you know something Huh?

That is all.

Mark 

Time: Tue, 28-Mar-2000 02:06:42 GMT     IP: 152.163.206.191

:I love the way that the subject of having sex with Arlen has 
become the way we're avoiding talking about last friday's show. I 
think it's a habit we should adopt for other shows of its kind, 
or pieces. Example:
:A: How about that Copper Dog sketch?
:B: I think that guy had sex with Arlen.
:A: Oh Yeah? So you think you know something Huh?
:

Great idea. I have one.

Noel: Hey remember that sketch where that guy read a poem and had 
people throw tennis balls at him?
Liam: No, but I remember the sketch where that guy peed in 
Arlen's mouth.
Noel: Mega.

anyone else?

m

Time: Tue, 28-Mar-2000 02:44:24 GMT     IP: 206.230.238.56

BALLS'S FIRST EVER REVIEW
In which he writes goes on at length about some pieces, and 
barely mentions others.  Someone had to do it.  

1) Apartment Stoop by Mark Hansen and Arlen Lawson

A well-crafted sketch that kept me laughing with each new twist 
and turn.  And it wasn't afraid to say something.  And they ate 
sandwiches.

2) Acceptance by Josh Vander Ploo!

This was boring and pointless, and just because that was 
acknowledged at the end of the monologue didn't make it any 
better. A monologue requires more than just writing something 
down and getting up on stage and reading it.  There's also a 
performance aspect, and that was completely nonexistent in this 
piece. I felt like I was in a rhetoric class, listening to a 
speech someone was being forced to give. 

3) The Planet in the Polka-Dot Dress by Mose Hayward

Hey, I was in this!  I think it was too long, and Mose has 
written funnier stuff, but Mose's character had me laughing up 
there on stage.  Making fun of the audience without pissing them 
off isn't an easy thing to do, but I think Mose accomplished just 
that.  Or else those dumb fuckers in the audience just didn't get 
that Mose was making fun of them.  See?  I just failed at making 
fun of the audience, and will forevermore be despised by them. 

4) Much Ado About Urine by Aprille Clarke

I think this was the first time I was in one of Aprille's 
sketches.  I hope the audience had as much fun with the Oompa 
Loompa song as I did.  

4.5)The Recycled Substitute by Your Mom, Nick Clark

Nick should do more physical humor.  He's lanky.  Good ideas, I 
got just a tad tired of it after awhile, but I would still say 
this was one of my favorite Nick Clark pieces.

5) Smackie. Smackie. Smick. Kip. by Jamal River

I hope this song is on the next King Toad album, because I 
thought it was fabulicious, and I would like to be able to listen 
to it whenever I please.

6) You Eat Like a Pig.  Did You Say Pork? by Kevin Fitzpatrick

This was pointless and lacked direction.  Also, it wasn't funny. 
 He just took a really long time to describe how disgusting some 
woman was, without ever explaining why he felt the need to 
ridicule her.  The performance aspect was missing from this, too. 
 He kept looking at the ground, he needed to speak up, and he 
kept saying "uh" even though the script was right there in front 
of him.

7) I Remember the Events of Darkness or Lunatic Raving #3 by 
James Horak

I appreciate that Rocky tried something different with this 
piece, and it had some good moments, but I just don't think it 
was too entertaining for the audience.

8) The Masturbation Sketch by Ed Irving and Al Angel, without a 
damn bit of help from John Sawyer

Congratulations to Irving and Angel for writing a gag sketch that 
knew to quit before the gag got old.  Funny in its brevity. 

9) The Falling Song by Kelli Rae Powell

This entire song was like music to my ears.  Bravo!

10) White Boy Millionaire Rich Kid Club by former presidential 
candidate John McCain, edited by  Neil Van Gorder

Generally, topical humor is a stale, unfunny brand of humor that 
should be confined to late night talk shows.  Making fun of the 
Bush family?  Come on, it's not funny when Jay Leno does it 
(though, come to think of it, it's not funny when Jay Leno does 
anything), and, unless something exciting and new is done with 
it, it's not funny at No Shame.  This was a bit preachy, too.    
 

11) Why I'm Here (and You Should Be Too) by Julia Wilder

Sadly, very sadly, it's a No Shame tradition for first-timers to 
write about what it's like to perform at No Shame. But this is 
what, Julia's third piece for No Shame?  And she's still writing 
about No Shame and how the regulars are supposedly some sort of 
elitist clique?  Maybe this is just me, but I think when people 
come to No Shame Theatre, they should be writing for No Shame, 
not about it.  Come here to the Board Room if you want to write 
about No Shame.  Unless someone comes up with a truly innovative 
way of writing a piece about No Shame (see Mr. Galbraith's 
Happily Ever Upon A Time, and even that didn't focus on No 
Shame), just getting up on stage and ranting about the 
institution of No Shame is a bore. (By the way, all of this also 
goes for Vander Ploo, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt 
because it was his first time.)

12) A Bittersweet Winter Night by Neil "Balls" Campbell

I only critique myself in private. But please, everyone else 
should give me all hell in this public forum.  (Kudos to Mark and 
Mike for their performances, though.)

13) Better than a Man in that Respect by Mark J. Hansen

Methinks the funniest sketch of the night.  Finally seeing 
Heather MacCoombaFoomba onstage was a treat, after all I've heard 
about (and from) her.  A standout performance from Arlen Lawson!

14) Beautiful Shock Therapy by Sheri Rhoades

This sort of falls under the topical humor complaint I made 
earlier.  Having the crocodile hunter as a character has been 
done, to much greater effect, by Mr. Galbraith.  And who finds it 
funny to make fun of Martha Stewart?  If a sketch is going to 
make fun of public figures, why pick such easy targets?

15) Over In Chinatown by Chris Stangl

I think this is the kind of thing Rocky might have been trying to 
achieve: something that's different, containing funny moments but 
not written to be hilarious, and still thoroughly entertaining.  
Praise be to Mr. Stangl for continuing to experiment with various 
styles at No Shame.

And that's it.  Insert your complaints into Mike Rothschild.

Time: Tue, 28-Mar-2000 18:26:17 GMT     IP: 205.188.195.27


Hey.  I am not all up on the posted messages, but I was 
wondering when is the last regular no shame of the season, and 
when the best of is for this semester.

Thanks,
Mandi

Time: Tue, 28-Mar-2000 18:30:43 GMT     IP: 205.188.195.27


Oops.
Sorry.  Found the info on the very handy web site.  First time I 
have been there since all the great changes. 
Continue on with your regular lives.
Mandi

Time: Wed, 29-Mar-2000 21:27:55 GMT     IP: 128.255.110.228

I thought the show was bad.  Neil already said a lot of the 
things I was thinking, so I'll spare you.
I just wanted to say something that he did not address.
I missed Dan and Kyle...especially during the order.  They are 
good at getting everyone fired up.  In their absence, the crowd 
was DEAD.  Seriously.  I looked around and saw nothing but 
corpses with sunken cheeks and glazed, bulging eyes.  How sad it 
was.
I hope this week will be better.
-Jessica

Time: Wed, 29-Mar-2000 21:43:54 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.96


   I thought the announcements were awesome.

             Your Chris,
                       Stangl

Time: Thu, 30-Mar-2000 03:20:56 GMT     IP: 152.163.207.194

It was all shite. The pieces, the audience, the performances, 
the stage, the anouncements. It was pretty much all shite. The 
crowd was dead because we started too late and the anouncements 
didn't pump them up, most of the pieces were too long, and they 
didn't go anywhere. But also, doing NS on Mabie stage sucks, 
especially with no curtains to bounce the sound back. Also, 
about half our regulars were gone, either having other 
commitments or not getting in the order, one of them having 
arrived at 10 past 10 and the line already beeing totally 
formed. Anyway, I think this week will be loads better.

mike

Time: Thu, 30-Mar-2000 22:44:05 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.59

       LEGGO OF MY EGO!
     by Chris Stangl!

THESIS STATEMENT:

:It was all shite. The pieces, the audience, the performances, 
:the stage, the anouncements. It was pretty much all shite.

     M. Rothschild's point is that the show was poor, which I 
cannot disagree with.  He blames every single element possible... 
which I don't agree with, but so be it): this is established fact.

POINT BY POINT ELABORATION ON CAUSES OF SHITE-NESS:

:The crowd was dead because we started too late and the 
:anouncements  didn't pump them up, most of the pieces were too 
:long, and they didn't go anywhere.

   This section of the post is intended to delinate HOW and WHY 
this poorness was perpetrated.  The listed culprits are tardiness 
(agreed with reservations), C. Stangl's pathetic, pandering and 
untrained announcements (agreed in full) and total artistic 
failiure on the part of every single writer and performer (utter 
disagreement, personally).

:Also, about half our regulars were gone, either having other 
:commitments or not getting in the order, one of them having 
:arrived at 10 past 10 and the line already beeing totally 
:formed.

1) Readers will agree that Rothschild is still undertaking a list 
of Reasons The Show Exuded A Rank Odor.
2) Included in this list is the above: absence of several ("half" 
may be chalked up to hyperbole, I presume) numbers of regular No 
Shame performers (most notably D. Brooks, K. Lange, C. Okiishi).
3) Rothschild includes himself in this list (he is the latecomer 
to the line of yore, as he is the only Regular not voluntarily 
unrepresented in the order who waited in line).

CONCLUSION: The above paragraph serves mostly to demonstrate that 
the show was not to the audience's (or M. Rothschild's) liking 
because he wasn't in it.

    Refute if I am wrong.

:Anyway, I think this week will be loads better.

     Indeed having not made final cut, Msr. Rothschild will be 
skipped to the front of the line, VIRTUALLY GUARANTEEING a better 
show than last week.
      That is all.
           Up and over,
                     C. Enid Stangl

Time: Fri, 31-Mar-2000 01:58:15 GMT     IP: 152.163.206.183

I didn't say all the pieces were bad. I said most of them were 
bad. Also, Ben was standing right behind me in line and didn't 
get in, which would have bumped up the goodness of said show. 
Yeah, it probably would have been better if I had been in it. But 
it also probably would have been better if a lot of people had 
been in it. 

Get em next week, eh?

m

Time: Fri, 31-Mar-2000 04:35:20 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

     1) Arlen Lawson and Mark Hansen - Apartment Stoop
This was good, but the hackneyed anal sex jokes seemed all the more barnacle encrusted by the
audience's failure to respond to what living people would have laughed at least a widdy bit at.
     2) Josh Vander Ploeg - Acceptance
For a first piece, I think this kind of thing is fine.  If you need a forum in which to be
self-indulgent, NS cannot be beat.  As long as he doesn't make a habit of it, I can forgive this
peice for not entertaining me.  He felt like he needed to get something off his chest and he did.  Is
your chest clean?
     3) Mose Hayward - The Planet in the Polka-Dot Dress
I likified this to the maximumicus.  Mose has done a great job of setting up an easily impersonable
"Mose" character in his pieces, then he beat anyone else to the impersonation.
     4) Aprille Clarke - Much Ado About Urine
This seemed like Aprille coming back to her familiar style after a long vacation from it.  I like the
familiar style, but the more deviant pieces seemed to hold so much promise, like after long enough
of doing different stuff, she would have written the greatest NS bit of all time (if she hasn't
already).
     4.5) Your Mom, Nick Clark - The Recycled Substitute
This is the thing I did instead of the piece I couldn't find a cowboy suit for.  I wrote most of this
last year and some more in the few minutes before the line started forming.  I made my last minute
revisions as I was sitting down.  The movement was a decision made as I clambered onto the
stage.  If this is what Balls liked the best of my stuff, I could please him best by just getting up on
stage without having even thought of a script.
     5) Jamal River - Smackie. Smackie. Smick. Kip.
Aside from remembering that it was funny just like all of Jamal's stuff, do I remember what this
was, you may ask.  Interesting question, I coyly reply.  Yes and no.  Those are definitely the two
possible answers to all of those questions.
     6) Kevin Fitzpatrick - You Eat Like a Pig. Did You Say Pork?
I really hated watching this.  It was not interesting or entertaining.  It was sexist and valueless.  I
am surprised that anybody clapped.  If I didn't know better, I would think that he was setting us
up for another Kevin Wall-esque, Kaufmanesque deception, which I really dread.  I've had enough
of those this year, thanks.
     7) James Horak - I Remember the Events of Darkness or Lunatic
     Raving #3
This could have been really fun with an audience who had not had their already catatonic laughter
response sent into full coma by the previous piece.  As it was, the failure of the audience to
respond made it seem like a serious expressionist/ existentialist artfag pondering.  And who cares
about that?
     8) Ed Irving and Al Angel, without a damn bit of help from John
     Sawyer - The Masturbation Sketch
I'm with Balls on this one.  Knew just where to stop.  Al you are an absolute genius for your
subtle discerning discretion when it comes to the brevity of pieces such as this.
     9) Kelli Rae Powell - The Falling Song
And why not?  A good song, though Kelli seemed a little too nervous to do quite as well as it
deserved to be, which is wierd because she doesn't seem like she's the nervous type of person.
    10) White Boy Millionaire Rich Kid Club by former presidential
     candidate John McCain, (edited by Neil Van Gorder)
The disclaimer at the beginning and the lack of anything truly NS oriented seemed to make this
another thing I and the rest of the surly audience lacked the patience for.  Another week it might
have worked.  *might*
     11) Julia Wilder - Why I'm Here (and You Should Be Too)
Yes, NS regulars are an elitist clique who will not assist any new person to the NS stage in any
way.  Nobody likes to see a new person on the stage.  It's a threat to the regulars' space in the
order.  But seriously, why would anyone want to see a relatively new writer if all she does is
lecture on how she's a new-to-NS person?  Advice to new or newish NS ers: a critique on NS
works a lot better if embedded in another piece.  See Egg Hahn's debut.
     12) Neil "Balls" Campbell - A Bittersweet Winter Night
How do I forget these pieces?  It is like magic.  We see them and I do all of the forgetting that
needs to be done.
     13) Mark J. Hansen - Better than a Man in that Respect
Okay.  Arlen looks great in drag.  Probably a great example of how our work was the victim of an
audience who didn't want to laugh.
     14) Sheri Rhoades - Beautiful Shock Therapy
I agree that this was a little too obvious to be that funny.  There just weren't enough layers to the
joke.  It was sort of "Two bizzAire personlities who you hear made fun of a lot say the word
'beautiful' frequently.  I think they should be tortured."  and that's all the piece had to it, only it
drAgged it out over a longer period of time.  Some asshole put the 'a' key right next to the caps
lock key on my keyboard so they keep coming out upper case.  For some reason I'd rather whine
about it than fix it.
     15) Chris Stangl - Over In Chinatown
More thAn a little bit, this piece was ruined for me by Chris saying that it was the same as my
piece, which mostly had me comparing and saying "he did that a lot better than I did"  when I
should have just been sitting back and grooving on it, daddy-o.  By the time I had figured out that
I was doing that, I really thought the piece wAs mega-swell.  Chris, you done the announcements
more funner than Dan or Kyle anyday.  It was pretty obvious that the audience was dead before
the announcements, so anyone who cAsts any blame upon you for the audience being bored has
his head lodged in somebody else's urethra.  Chris, I will always be the poop to your pee, the Ash
to your Pikachu, the fruit to your looms.
     _________________________________________________________________


              Because They Can,
                               Nick-Bob Clark, And the Lebanese Wheels of Soul

Time: Fri, 31-Mar-2000 05:25:08 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.137


     5) Jamal River - Smackie. Smackie. Smick. Kip.
Aside from remembering that it was funny just like all of Jamal's 
stuff, do I remember what this was, you may ask.  

It wasn't funny, Nick. It wasn't funny at all. You laugh at my 
pain? Oh, Nick. Sweet, sweet Nicola. ..Nuck/Ick. ...Clark. (not 
funny)

j.r.

Time: Fri, 31-Mar-2000 07:11:03 GMT     IP: 206.230.237.85

dammit nick, show me your mystical secret as to how you fill the 
whole screen on your posts.  me so jealous...make green cum come 
out of eyesockets!  enlighten enlighten enlighten!!  barf zwargle 
pee schnockwurst yip paddle.

m

Time: Fri, 31-Mar-2000 07:20:17 GMT     IP: 206.230.237.85

Yeah, it probably would have been better if I had been in it. But 
:
it also probably would have been better if a lot of people had 
:
been in it. 
:

hmmm.....

I don't know what to think about that.

why do i post then?

i don't know, that is why i am a human being.

it really is a rothschild.

love,

peehole.

Time: Fri, 31-Mar-2000 07:23:29 GMT     IP: 206.230.237.85

i am angry at those who mock me.

i am lonely.

anyone drinking tonight?

m

Time: Fri, 31-Mar-2000 07:31:18 GMT     IP: 206.230.237.85

hell yeah, we're drinking!

we have not a more thing to say.

but, really, what is a rothschild?  it all comes back to the 
baSE...I MEAN....BASE....i mean....base words of rothschild.  
roths and child.  the first one is not a word.  the second one 
means child.  like a child has one.  you know..  what, why you 
look at mey.  what wrong tyou with?  dyslexia for fure cound.  
perplexia door sure cunt.  wipe a giggle with a smile.  a 
rothschmile.  again we have constructed a complex word with one 
word that means schmile, like a child has one, and another that 
means "to bake".  take a homo egon-omics course.  to teach 
aboutt rothschibbasaoundogratenfoldraperyelp.  that is all. 

but then how can a sound come from a rothschlong?  it takes a 
great force of time.  and what if a rothschlipper makesa a 
soundin the forest behind my house, and no one is around to 
smell some?  will he be death?  nobody can know.

it is secret.

i also hear that frothcocks are good.

who is in one?

i dont know.  you must 

we give up.

m  

Time: Fri, 31-Mar-2000 07:32:12 GMT     IP: 206.230.237.85

guys, im not sure where you're going with this...

-me

Time: Fri, 31-Mar-2000 07:33:51 GMT     IP: 206.230.237.85

rothschlicker...ikll tell you where we're going with this.

we're going straight up through your uretral and into your adams 
apple.  we will eat your adams pancreas.  it will make us dance 
a victory one on the island from langerhans.

suck on that for a lilly bit.

-we

Time: Fri, 31-Mar-2000 07:49:19 GMT     IP: 205.188.196.42


Yes, the audience was moribund, and this made the show not as 
good and also made it seem worse than it was.  But the actual 
show, independent of the audience, was delectable to me.  It did 
have more pieces than usual that were bad enough to make me gnaw 
at my wrists as my insides twisted in slow, unfunny horriblness, 
but peices by all these people made me giddy:  Chris Stangl, 
Mark Hansen, Mark -&- Arlen, Neil, Kelli, Ed -&- Al, James Horak 
(The shouts of "Camus!  Sartre!" tickled me purple), Jamal, 
Nick, Aprille, and Mose.  Giddy like the schoolgirl that I am.

Merideth

Time: Fri, 31-Mar-2000 16:49:37 GMT     IP: 209.253.130.182

It was all shite. The pieces, the audience, the performances, 
the stage, the anouncements.

I say again:  ALL shite.  The PIECES, the PERFORMANCES.

-mike rothschild

Time: Fri, 31-Mar-2000 16:50:51 GMT     IP: 209.253.130.182

I didn't say all the pieces were bad.

--mike rothschild

Time: Fri, 31-Mar-2000 16:52:21 GMT     IP: 209.253.130.182

i am angry at those who mock me.

i do it just fine all by myself.

--mike rothschild

Time: Fri, 31-Mar-2000 19:08:59 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.251

And a damn good song, as I remember.  Not a funny one at all.  I 
apologize for being a farthead.  I need a farthead sucker outer.  
I must find a volunteer to suck the fart from my head.  Sorry 
Jamal.  I love you so much that I don't care what you do at NS, I 
just ignore it and think about how much I idolize you, and I wish 
the fart was not inside my head.

In Crania Flatulentis Dominus,
     Amen
          Nick

Time: Fri, 31-Mar-2000 19:19:05 GMT     IP: 152.163.207.182

Ok...enough. Making fun of me is fine, and I encourage it. But 
using my name to post slanderous material doesn't quite do it 
for me. Please stop.

michael

Time: Fri, 31-Mar-2000 21:10:10 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.185

:using my name to post slanderous material doesn't quite do it 
:for me. Please stop.

     The contradictions contained in posts titled "1" and "2" are 
Mike Rothschild's own words (excepting the reiteration + 
emphasis) which were gleaned from Mike Rothschild's own previous 
posts (thus not slander).
     While I did not post them, I assume they were posted to 
remind us that the contents of "2" were a backpedadling- and 
falsified ("1" reminds us that it was indeed every piece and 
performer incurring the critical wrath of le Roth)- apology for 
"1".  ...All of which is petty, tiresome, and kind of funny.
                           -Stangl Galore