Time: Thu, 02-Dec-1999 20:29:49 GMT     IP: 128.255.110.230

Jeepers, I hope Jeff Goode's okay.  The order hasn't been updated 
for weeks and neither have new scripts been entered.  I hope 
nothing bad happened to our friendly webmaster.

Time: Thu, 02-Dec-1999 21:11:19 GMT     IP: 209.56.125.162

I, too, have been concerned!!

Jeff, where are you?   Are you well??

PS--The BONS meeting was last night, lasting in the the wee and 
then not so wee hours of the morning.  An arduous task, but 
brought home the oft-mentioned, but still-bears-repeating fact 
that this was a stellar semester, with many fine pieces.  If a 
particular favorite of yours was not amoung the selected, I can 
honestly say it was not for lack of individual merit, just that 
the pool was heavy with talent.  Congrats to all contributors and 
performers.

Time: Sat, 04-Dec-1999 08:18:54 GMT     IP: 152.173.91.31

Rats!  I didn't think anyone would miss me.

I've been off to New York to see Poona the Fuckdog.  But I think I'm back now.  

...Jeff

Time: Sat, 04-Dec-1999 17:11:29 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.147

Here we go!  The best of order!!!  Congrats to all!!!!!

Best Of No Shame  Fall 1999
1.  A Butter Beetle Battle by Mike Cassady and Aaron Galbraith 
or Aaron Galbraith or Mike Cassady
2.  Over the River and Through the Woods by Christopher Okiishi
2.5 Donkypunch by Mike Rothschild
3.  Six Angry Sketches by Mark Hansen
4.  The American Dream in One Calorie by Kyle Lange
4.5 A Song by Ben Schmidt
5.  Fose Fatfard vs. A Dead Bee by Brad Smith
6.  Get Down on Your Fucking Knees, You Miserable Wrenches, For 
I Bring You Theatre by James Erwin
7.  The Kiss by Willie Barbour
8.  A Friendship So Deep by Balls Campbell
9.  According to David Harman, This Monologue is All About Sex 
by Adam Hahn
9.5 Mimicry Is the Most Sincere Form of Parody (part 3 of pi): 
it was the best of times, it was the bratwurst of times by 
Heyzeus Cantalopay Horak del Cantabria
10. Dental Dam Over Good Taste by Chris Stangl
10.5 No-Shame Coup D'etat, or, A Victory Clutched in the Snatch 
of Defeat by Nick Clark
11. Whip It Good.  Well?  Good.  Well, Good. By Aprille Clarke
12. It's Raining Patti LuPone or Three Odes by Mike Rothschild
13. The Greatest Collaboration Since Van Gogh and Insanity by 
Mike "Cock" Cassady and Neil "Balls" Campbell
14. Mose Hayward Loves to Laugh by Jamal River
14.5 Foonca Feteria, Forest Firebest Friend by Arlen Lawson
15. Brett Deckers:  Highly Excellent by Dan Brooks

Authors:  Please remember to bring a LIGHT BOOTH COPY of your 
piece to Best Of, in the which you carefully and BOLDLY declare 
your lighting cues.  This avoids any potential confusion with 
order and exact directions (the light booth opperator may NOT be 
the one who worked the night of your piece, and many of the 
above are heavy light-utilizers.)

EVERYONE:  Thank you all for a great semester.  If last night 
was any indication, we have some interesting directions to go in 
the future.  Order from last night will be posted once a couple 
of details get worked out.  Thank you in advance for your 
patience.

Time: Sun, 05-Dec-1999 15:03:23 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

I can't remember the whole show, but here's what I can recall.
1. Eggman on Gilligan: Loved the second part, but of course wouldn't have gotten it if not for the
first part.  And the first part was durn funny too.
2. Zach Robertson is Jesus: Way too moralistic and prosthletizing (sp)to be fun for me.  Scary
'cause it really did convince me mr. Robertson thought he was Jesus.
3. Me forgetting the Yul Brynner monologue.  Sorry.  It relly was a cool monologue, or it would
have been.  Oh well, it's only "dead week".
4.  Arlen cauget her in the rye, but then wasn't sure who she was. in the rye: Hooray for this song
being really good and not making me look like a complete idiot for endorsing it.  Nifty lyrics and
good playing.
?.  Later on Aprille Played a song too.  It was very funny and catchy.  Hooray for songs.
?. Still later Ben played a song and it was GRRreat!  Hooray for Ben.  He should have a contract
with a major label by now.
?.  At some point James Erwin told the story of the monkey who tore the glass tube off his penis. 
YEEEOUCH!  I think more NS pieces should be historical.   And also, Aaron should play a
masturbating monkey in everybody's piece ever.
?. At some point Mike C. made the interrupting mute joke, which was good.  But I don't
remember the part of the piece I'm supposed to remember.
?.  Jamal's Worst Thing Ever was so good I could masturbate 'till the glass tube came off.  Every
piece should have Aaron as Masturbating monkey, and Adam and James as the crying chorus.
?. Newbies Kant skitch: Hooray for new folks.  Hooray for female folks.  Hooray for a piece
which is really damn funny.
?. John Hague's wierd pop culture thing: Like 'Schitzopolis' only not quite as good.  But then,
what could be?  This was definitely more deserving of its place in the order than was me
forgetting an entire mono.
?.  Newbie on thanksgiving with dad:  Funny and intensely disturbing because I beleive it.
?. K. A. Lane's Mono:  A good bit and well written, but the accent seemed to switch on and off
several times during the piece, and the miming didn't work for me.
?.  Jonathan Sawyer's Apology: My favorite of Mr. Sawyer's pieces all semester.  The entrance
was fabulous, the apology believable and touching, the death scene hilarious. "Jesus Christ!"          
                                                    14. Chris Stangl's Houdini Virus: Simply put, the best piece of
theatre EVER.  Even if it was real it was the best piece of theatre EVER.  That's fifteen.  I'm
going to assume I got 'em all.

Time: Sun, 05-Dec-1999 20:13:02 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

Of all things who'd ha' thunk I forgot Malamuteamalarkarkamatarkamalkarpikumupikartikulous
Hansen playing the C scale on the Harmolodikka?  Wait, maybe it's just a melodica, Harmelodic
being Ornette Coleman's group and I doubt they named that thing after Ornette Coleman's group.

Anyhow, it was the best of all the songs played that night and perfection in Dead Week material. 
Also number 15. Dan's piece was the besty bestest ever.  More people should do pieces like that.

Time: Sun, 05-Dec-1999 18:54:31 GMT     IP: 171.211.41.52

I think the website is caught up now.  If you recently sent something to be posted and it is NOT
on the site yet, please let me know.


...Jeff

Time: Mon, 06-Dec-1999 22:16:30 GMT     IP: 209.56.125.166

The Order for 12/3/99, as best I can get it.

1.  Joseph A. Burton is a Liar/Joseph A. Burton is a Thief by 
Adam Hahn
2.  I Left Jesus in My Other Pants by Sachar "Keeper of the 
Hamster" Robertson
3.  Santa Claus is a Prick Part 3: The Yul Brynner Monologue by 
Nick Clark
4.  [Arlen re-titled his piece and didn't change it on his 
script, so he'll have to fill us in...] by Arlen Lawson
4.5 Melodica Monologua by Mark J. Hansen
5.  Ken's [not sure on that name.  A little help, James? ]
Adventure by James Erwin
6.  The Key to Happiness is at the End of the Chorus by Aprille 
Clarke
7.  The First Thing I've Done by Jessica Ahrendt
8.  The Worst Thing Ever by Jamal River
9.  Coming Clean by Jonathan Sawyer
10. I've Always Been Close To You by Kehry Anson Lane
10.5  Joseph A. Burton Must Die/Joseph A. Burton is One of the 
Nicest People I Know by Adam Hahn
11.  Girls Who Crave Kant by Allison McCabe and Merideth Nepstad
12.  An Existential Love Story, or We got Stoned! by John Hague 
and Peter Rugg
13.5 Titles Are For Pussies by Mike Cassady and Neil "Balls" 
Campbell
14. The Houdini Virus slight of hand by Chris Stangl

15. Big Angry by Dan Brooks (not actually performed, for reasons 
obvious to all present)

Good night, especially given that it was Dead Week.  In 
particular, nice to see a bunch of new, solid performers!  The 
fact that they were all women should be incidental, but, as you 
all know, sadly is not.  In particular, the "Kant" piece, whice 
was as perfect a No Shame piece as perfect can be.  I'm 
salivating for what they will do next!!

Time: Mon, 06-Dec-1999 23:24:05 GMT     IP: 205.188.192.187

Things I wanna say: (if I left out your piece, that means I 
enjoyed it but don't have any comments to make)

1.  Joseph A. Burton is a Liar/Joseph A. Burton is a Thief by 
Adam Hahn
Good thing I was looking down into my notebook, I had a Hell of a 
time keeping a straight face while talking about being arroused 
by a coconut
10.5  Joseph A. Burton Must Die/Joseph A. Burton is One of the 
Nicest People I Know by Adam Hahn
I'd like to thank Joseph A. Burton for being such a good sport 
about my titles.
I would also like to curse him for being a liar and a thief.

2.  I Left Jesus in My Other Pants by Sachar "Keeper of the 
Hamster" Robertson
He is my friend, and I must defend his honor by telling the world 
his name is Zachary, not Sachar.
Please refrain from such mockery of my Funk Soul Brother.

5.  Ken's [not sure on that name.  A little help, James? ]
Adventure by James Erwin
Wasn't his name Ham?
The "Fuck You, Monkey" line at the end of my piece didn't exist 
until it suddenly came to me as I watched Aaron masturbate.
Thanks.

7.  The First Thing I've Done by Jessica Ahrendt
Great to feed on new blood. Good piece, but a little unpolished, 
part of me would have loved to go over with a red pen. 
(sometimes, pieces touch me in such a way that I have an 
uncontrollable urge to rewrite them- that's my problem, not 
yours)

9.  Coming Clean by Jonathan Sawyer
Part of me cheered, part of me was jeered. For the first time in 
maybe a month, I'm really interested in what Al does next. I've 
been waiting for a less-angry Angel.

10. I've Always Been Close To You by Kehry Anson Lane
I liked for two reasons- it was different from everything else 
that night, and it made me sad.

11.  Girls Who Crave Kant by Allison McCabe and Merideth Nepstad
They'd been sitting on this script for a month or two, trying to 
get the courage to perform. I think we can all agree they had 
nothing to worry about.
They were nervous, I was nervous for them- then they performed 
and I just wished I could write like that.

14. The Houdini Virus slight of hand by Chris Stangl/15. Big 
Angry by Dan Brooks
Very believable. I didn't really enjoy it at the time, but I 
appreciate it more with every passing day.

Also, this was a night for much music, much kissing, and much fun 
nonsense. And much fun in gen

Time: Tue, 07-Dec-1999 00:05:07 GMT     IP: 208.145.207.50

I DO have a review of the 12/3 show, but I would like to make 
several comments before I get to that.

First, I would like to say that I enjoy the experience of No 
Shame greatly.  I first performed in 1997 (it was a piece about 
an exploding hamster - look it up in the archives if you want) 
and I caught the bug.  However, my return to No Shame would be 
delayed until just this year, Fall of 1999... it is good to be 
back.  I have to thank Adam Hahn for bringing me back.  So 
thanks you rat bastard.

Second, I offer my congrats to the aformentioned Mr. "Egg" Hahn 
for making the Best Of No Shame. Don't get me wrong, I offer my 
congrats to the rest of you who made it... I just happen to know 
Hahn better than the rest of you.  That can all change if you 
want...

Now, to my own take on the show:

1. Joseph A Burton is a liar/Jospeh A Burton is a thief by Adam 
Hahn - good piece, I enjoyed it a lot.  Though I think it was 
more Adam appeasing a No Shame audience than Adam being Adam.  
But hell, I love 'em anyway.

2. I Left Jesus In My Other Pants by Zachary Robertson - this is 
my own, and don't feel right about giving it a review.  I do 
know that the title got a good laugh, and that I rushed through 
the piece faster than I had intended.  Oh, and to the lone voice 
(I think it was Mr Burton, but correct me if I am wrong)who gave 
me the "Hell Yeah!" the first time I called for it... bless you 
child.  Bless you.


5.  Ken's Adventure by James Erwin - My mother always told me 
that masturbating monkeys are dangerous.  Congrats, you proved 
it.  Aaron, however, as the monkey looked like he was getting a 
bit winded.  I guess one has to be in good shape to play a 
masturbating space monkey.

6.  The Key to Happiness... by Aprille Clarke - Any tune where I 
can sing along and keep the beat MUST kick ass.  And this one 
did too.

7.  The First Thing I Have Done by Jessica Ahrendt - For your 
first I thought the writing was great.  I had trouble hearing 
you however, maybe it is me being deaf... but... volume up a 
tiny bit.

9.  Coming Clean by Jonathan Sawyer - Wow.  Am I ever sorry for 
taking your chair the first time I performed this year.  Wow.


10.5 Jospeh A Burton Must Die/Joseph A Burton Is One Of The 
Nicest People I Know - I'm giving you a coconut for Christmas, 
you know that don't you.  I loved the ad-lib monkeyline at the 
end.

11. Girls Who Crave Kant by Allison McCabe and Merideth Nepstad -
Even though they told me in the lounge that they do not remember 
me from previous encounters I forgive them.  Damn good piece if 
you don't know them... better piece if you do.  But how am I 
supposed to judge LD now with a straight face?

14. The Houdini Virus by Chris Stangl - um... er... ahh... Okay, 
I just had to make sure I was the victim of a Kaufmann type 
joke.  I was worried for a moment.  I think it was a good ending 
for "Dead Week"

Thanks for tuning in.

Zachary 

Time: Tue, 07-Dec-1999 02:28:16 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.26

I'm not sure if Cassady, Sosa and Horak are aware of this or not, 
but I very seriously would give up my slot in the order AND bake 
each of them a pie AND eat fresh dog turds (can you guess which 
two are sincere?) if they would grace my ears with "More Singing, 
More Happiness" once again.

Time: Tue, 07-Dec-1999 02:58:30 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.144



:2.  I Left Jesus in My Other Pants by Sachar "Keeper of the 
:Hamster" Robertson

Whoops!!  Should be "Zachary" nor "Sachar."  Sorry...


:5.  Ken's [not sure on that name.  A little help, James? ]
:Adventure by James Erwin


Not Ken, but "Ham"--sorry again...

Time: Tue, 07-Dec-1999 04:02:18 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

:
:

:
:2.  I Left Jesus in My Other Pants by Sachar "Keeper of the 
:
:Hamster" Robertson
:

:
Whoops!!  Should be "Zachary" nor "Sachar."  Sorry...
:

:

:
:5.  Ken's [not sure on that name.  A little help, James? ]
:
:Adventure by James Erwin
:

:

:
Not Ken, but "Ham"--sorry again...
:

:

                                                                            Also, as I recall, Arlen's piece was entitle
"Catcher in the Rye?  I Don't Even Know 'er in the Rye."!"

Time: Tue, 07-Dec-1999 17:36:31 GMT     IP: 129.255.164.120

The Order for 12/3/99, as complete as I can get it.

1.  Joseph A. Burton is a Liar/Joseph A. Burton is a Thief by 
Adam Hahn
2.  I Left Jesus in My Other Pants by Zachary "Keeper of the 
Hamster" Robertson
3.  Santa Claus is a Prick Part 3: The Yul Brynner Monologue by 
Nick Clark
4.  Catcher in the Rye?  I Didn't Even Know Her in the Rye by 
Arlen Lawson
4.5 Melodica Monologua by Mark J. Hansen
5.  Ham's Adventure; A Tale of Outer Space and Masturbation by 
James Erwin
6.  The Key to Happiness is at the End of the Chorus by Aprille 
Clarke
7.  The First Thing I've Done by Jessica Ahrendt
8.  The Worst Thing Ever by Jamal River
9.  Coming Clean by Jonathan Sawyer
10. I've Always Been Close To You by Kehry Anson Lane
10.5  Joseph A. Burton Must Die/Joseph A. Burton is One of the 
Nicest People I Know by Adam Hahn
11.  Girls Who Crave Kant by Allison McCabe and Merideth Nepstad
12.  An Existential Love Story, or We got Stoned! by John Hague 
and Peter Rugg
13.5 Titles Are For Pussies by Mike Cassady and Neil "Balls" 
Campbell
14. The Houdini Virus slight of hand by Chris Stangl

15. Big Angry by Dan Brooks (not actually performed, for reasons 
obvious to all present)

Sorry to all concerned...

Time: Tue, 07-Dec-1999 19:12:09 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.2

Yay for the new people. I quite enjoyed the Thanksgiving 
monologue, as well as the Kant piece. Hooray for some new people 
who also happened to be good. 

(Hooray for the rest of you too, I guess, but you all already 
think you're hot shit, so you don't need my encouragement.)

Time: Wed, 08-Dec-1999 22:22:53 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.192

:Best Of No Shame  Fall 1999

:2.  Over the River and Through the Woods by Christopher Okiishi
:4.  The American Dream in One Calorie by Kyle Lange
:4.5 A Song by Ben Schmidt
:6.  Get Down on Your Fucking Knees, You Miserable Wrenches, For 
:    I Bring You Theatre by James Erwin
:7.  The Kiss by Willie Barbour
:9.  According to David Harman, This Monologue is All About Sex 
:    by Adam Hahn
:10. Dental Dam Over Good Taste by Chris Stangl
:10.5 No-Shame Coup D'etat, or, A Victory Clutched in the Snatch 
:of Defeat by Nick Clark
:12. It's Raining Patti LuPone or Three Odes by Mike Rothschild
:14. Mose Hayward Loves to Laugh by Jamal River
:15. Brett Deckers:  Highly Excellent by Dan Brooks

       HAYZEUS KRE-STAY! The above are ALL monologues. Except "I 
Wanna Go Down On You," which is a one-man song and "Over the 
River," which is two intertwined monologues, and "Three Odes" is 
poems, but they're still in monologue-mode.  Remembering that 
Horak's piece and "Donkeypunch" are ten seconds each, that's only 
four "full length" sketches all BONS-evening!  I like monologues 
and all, but that's, uh, a lot of monologues.
       Probably this was done because "Fose Fatford" makes 
everything else look obsolete.
       I'm voting "Wost Thing Ever" for Spring!
                    -Chris the Ripper

Time: Wed, 08-Dec-1999 22:48:44 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.113

"Catcher in the Rye?  I hardly know 'er in the rye!"
                   A song by Arlen Lawson

  A song that wasn't as funny as a few people seemed to think it 
was.  In fact, not funny at all.  Not supposed to be funny, even.

Time: Thu, 09-Dec-1999 01:34:29 GMT     IP: 208.145.207.50

It happens, at least you care enough to fix it.

-Z

:2.  I Left Jesus in My Other Pants by Sachar "Keeper of the 
:
:Hamster" Robertson
:

:
Whoops!!  Should be "Zachary" nor "Sachar."  Sorry...
:

:

:
:5.  Ken's [not sure on that name.  A little help, James? ]
:
:Adventure by James Erwin
:

:

:
Not Ken, but "Ham"--sorry again...

Time: Thu, 09-Dec-1999 01:34:29 GMT     IP: 208.145.207.50

It happens, at least you care enough to fix it.

-Z

:2.  I Left Jesus in My Other Pants by Sachar "Keeper of the 
:
:Hamster" Robertson
:

:
Whoops!!  Should be "Zachary" nor "Sachar."  Sorry...
:

:

:
:5.  Ken's [not sure on that name.  A little help, James? ]
:
:Adventure by James Erwin
:

:

:
Not Ken, but "Ham"--sorry again...

Time: Fri, 10-Dec-1999 06:19:05 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.187

::Best Of No Shame  Fall 1999
:
       HAYZEUS KRE-STAY! The above are ALL monologues. Except "I 
:Wanna Go Down On You," which is a one-man song and "Over the 
:River," which is two intertwined monologues, and "Three Odes" is 
:poems, but they're still in monologue-mode.  Remembering that 
:Horak's piece and "Donkeypunch" are ten seconds each, that's only 
:four "full length" sketches all BONS-evening!  I like monologues 
:and all, but that's, uh, a lot of monologues.
:       Probably this was done because "Fose Fatford" makes 
:everything else look obsolete.
:       I'm voting "Wost Thing Ever" for Spring!
:                    -Chris the Ripper
:
Ahem.  "Whip it Good.  Well?  Good.  Well, good."  full-length, 
non-monologue sketch.  in best of.  that is all.

Time: Sat, 11-Dec-1999 00:25:29 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

:poems, but they're still in monologue-mode.  Remembering that
:
:Horak's piece and "Donkeypunch" are ten seconds each, that's only 
:
:four "full length" sketches all BONS-evening!  I like monologues 
:
:and all, but that's, uh, a lot of monologues.
:
:       Probably this was done because "Fose Fatford" makes 
:
:everything else look obsolete.
:
:       I'm voting "Wost Thing Ever" for Spring!
:
:                    -Chris the Ripper



Ahem.  "Whip it Good.  Well?  Good.  Well, good."  full-length,

non-monologue sketch.  in best of.  that is all.
                                                                                                          but why do YOU mention
it?  Chris Says there are four of them.  I haven't counted myself, but I wouldn't presume that that
was the one he forgot if there were in fact five.  When he says "the above" in case you hadn't
noticed, he does not reproduce the entire bons order.  why do people feel the need to correct
things they haven't thoroughly examined?

Time: Sat, 11-Dec-1999 20:03:04 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.113

Hey!  This is the second time I've gone to a Best Of all wantin' 
to see a particular piece of yours, and then have not gotten to 
see it 'cause you did something else...  I guess there's 
something to be said for bucking the system, but I missed the 
piece they selected when it was first performed, and thought I 
was gonna get a second chance..  I heard it was reeal good.

Time: Sun, 12-Dec-1999 02:28:12 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.186

:Hey!  you did something else...

    I sympathize with both you and Jamal.  There's something 
discomforting about Best Of, where everyone on stage has to 
balance that smug feeling that they're THE BEST, that they were 
selected because they did something superior, and the reprise 
often has a smarmy tinge to it. I assume this is partly what J.R. 
is trying to circumvent.
    Fose Hayward pointed out that BONS also sacrifices the "raw" 
and "unpredictable" in the unofficial mission statement.  Jamal's 
"Popeye" skit, I think, was about on par with the "real" "MH 
Loves To Laugh," and reenstated the lamented unpredictability... 
and rawness, since we barely rehearsed it.
    However... that the surprise is missing doesn't mean there's 
no other way to love the jokes.  But it's a different fun.  A fun 
of anticipating the expected, or wanting to study how someone 
does a particularly difficult or elegant maneuver- I still think 
Buster Keaton falling on his ass is funny, though I may've seen 
the pratfall 20 times before.  
    Blah blah I talk too much. And I'm cranky because Dan didn't 
do "Life."
                -Your best friend in the universe,
                     Chris Stand in the place where you pee

Time: Sun, 12-Dec-1999 06:35:07 GMT     IP: 152.163.207.59

is kyle lange single???

Time: Sun, 12-Dec-1999 09:01:47 GMT     IP: 205.188.200.51

:is kyle lange single???

Sorry...I don't mean to burst your bubble, but haven't you seen 
the ring he wears?  He's practically married.  I thought it was 
obvious.


PS - we all love him as much as you do...  :

Time: Sun, 12-Dec-1999 18:59:20 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.201

Sheesh. You try to liven things up a little and what do you get? 
You get Rothschild on ISCA sayin' "Your excitement surrounding 
the upcoming (and totally funny) 'Foze Fatford' evacuated my 
self of confidence, and a tiny bit of pee pee!" And you get Adam 
lamenting the lack of the _real_ "Mose Hayward? He Loves A 
Laugh!" Not that I can blame you, Adam. What a funny funny thing 
it was! Ho! Not as funny as, say, Popeye! A sailor! But funny. 
I'll give you a private screening sometime, Adam. I'll say, "Hey 
Adam! Mose Hayward Loves A Laugh and it goes like this: 'I was 
at a bar the other night, etc...'"

So anyway, I thought it was a pretty fun Best Of. That's what I 
thought. I liked Brett Deckers better this time cuz it wasn't 
surrounded by a bunch of other cum pieces. I liked Aprille's 
piece quite a bit. I hadn't seen it. (Thank goodness SHE did 
what she was supposed to, or I would have missed out on THAT 
piece of fun!) I hadn't seen that Neil and Mike piece with Chris 
as their star, either. That was funny. Fose Fatford and 3 Dead 
Babies were just as fantastic as the 1st time around. Kyle as 
the Cocaine machine in Egg's piece was really funny. I kept 
looking at him through the sketch. His expression was bizarre. 
And way... FUNNY! Everything else was funnier the 1st time 
around, but still funny this time.

Fose Fatford 4 ever and ever. I love you, Fose!

Time: Sun, 12-Dec-1999 20:30:50 GMT     IP: 152.163.206.197

1. I think people would have to agree that people 
shouting "FOSE! FOSE!" right before I'm about to get on stage 
and do a piece is pretty fucking rude. It didn't make 
me "nervous" or "scared" it just pissed me off, and threw off my 
mindset to do "Donkeypunch"...that's why I took that long pause 
at the start. It's really sad to think that some performers get 
joy not out of doing their pieces but out of fucking up other 
people. And Jamal, please don't put words in my mouth. I know 
what I said.

2. I've always liked the idea of BONS. Take 15 or so of the best 
pieces and do them again, as a representation of the best that 
NS has to offer. I don't think, for me at least, there's any 
pressure to perform "better" than I did before, because in 
trying to perform "better" or more correctly, you just fuck 
yourself in the end. But there's the challenge of doing a piece 
before 3x as many people as before in a much more unforgiving 
performance space. Also, I've always tweaked my BONS material 
before I performed it again, usually making a few changes here 
and there just to smooth out the rough edges or change things 
that didn't work. I know the appeal of NS is that raw, rough 
edged feel the pieces have, but I'm not going to perform a line 
or bit a second time that I didn't like the first time.

3. Is Kyle single? What the fuck? Half the pieces he does are 
about his girlfriend. I realize that somehow makes him more 
appealing, in that crazy paradoxical way relationships work, but 
seriously. Love ya Kyle, you crazy mechanic.

4. BONS was really good, by the way. I liked Egg's piece much 
more the 2nd time, the same with Aprille's and especially Brett 
Deckers. 6 Angry Sketches was really strong again too. I didn't 
care for Fose Fatfard as much again (not because of the 
chanting) and Mose Loves to Laugh fell flat for me. But, oh 
well. 

mike

Time: Mon, 13-Dec-1999 00:23:25 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.202

Me and Mark Rothchibba are havin' a feud! We fight! It is 
because we are angry at each other and their awful mouths! 

Actually, Mikus, the Fose chant was not a specially designed 
"Mess Up Mikey" device created specifically for the beginning of 
your piece, but was what we yelled between probably a half dozen 
skitches. So while it's level of obnoxious-ness may be 
debatable, don't go feeling all puffy and self-important 
thinking we singled out _your_ pre-skit blackness to shout at.
Smellus, Munka Robbchitta! 

Time: Mon, 13-Dec-1999 02:34:02 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

Nobody wants to hear me say this, but I detested Best Of.  It was no fun for me to see a bunch of
skitches I had seen done more funly before.  It was no fun to get into my underpants in front of
twice as many people in the tight little shallow space in front of the curtain.  Even Fose rang a
little hollow the second time through.  The addition of Balls helped, but not enough.  Brett
Deckers, which I hadn't seen the first time, I had basically enough information about for it not to
be at all funny the second time.  Six Angry sketches was by the one and only Marky-Mark and the
funky Hansen, yet it still was unsatisfying.  The fact is that these skitches are written with B in
mind, and their first performances condition their actors to the B space and audience, and the
Maybe space nd audience is not one against which these pieces had a huge degree of staying
power.  Best Of was literally the worst No Shame all semester.
As for Kyle being practically married and hot, that's the way things are for everyone.  Single is not
sexy.  You think "If s/he isn't good enough for anyone else in the world, how could s/he possibly
be good enough for me?"  This is one of the myriad reasons I avoid seeking a "significant other" -
the only people I would want to date are happily monogomously entwined.  This also is most of
the reason that nobody wants me for a significant other - they say "Yuch, he can't even get a date,
why should I give him one.  Also he is ugly and smells bad.  He is also fun to spit at.  I hope he
dies before I do because my life is more important."  That is what they say when the passing
thought of putting the moves on me flashes though their unprepared minds.
Later, they are prepared.

Time: Mon, 13-Dec-1999 03:05:48 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.11

 Single is not sexy.  You think "If s/he 
isn't good enough for anyone else in the world, how could s/he 
possibly be good enough for me?"  This is one of the myriad 
reasons I avoid seeking a "significant other" - the only people I 
would want to date are happily monogomously entwined.  This also 
is most of the reason that nobody wants me for a significant other 
- they say "Yuch, he can't even get a date, why should I give him 
one.  Also he is ugly and smells bad.  He is also fun to spit at. 
 I hope he dies before I do because my life is more important."  
That is what they say when the passing thought of putting the 
moves on me flashes though their unprepared minds.
Later, they are prepared.

Don't give up yet, Nick! Or you'll end up like me. When my dad was 
my age, he was married, his wife was pregnant. A few months 
previously, he had stopped fighting a war on the other side of the 
world and drove around Texas in a mint '73 cherry Corvette. Me? 
I'm typing words into a computer. If I'm lucky, tonight I'll get 
home, rip some 80s songs to MP3, write a couple of entries for my 
web site, and finish reading that book about the East India 
Company. It's an empty shell of a life, Nick. So lonely...

James "barely has the strength now to keep typing" Erwin

Time: Mon, 13-Dec-1999 04:56:55 GMT     IP: 152.163.207.206

"The way to get laid is to TREAT THEM LIKE SHIT"-- David Mamet

I don't actually do that.

Jama;, I don't see this as a fued...I just think what was done 
was really iritating and not cool to fellow artists and I wanted 
to call that to your attention. Is all.

mike

Time: Mon, 13-Dec-1999 17:34:41 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.2


Jama;, I don't see this as a fued...I just think what was done 
:
was really iritating and not cool to fellow artists and I wanted 
:
to call that to your attention. Is all.
:

Apology accepted, sir! Friends till the end!!!!!!!!!

Nicko- even though I did enjoy BONS, I agree with you in spirit. 
I'm not big on "Best Of"s on the whole. Seems like anything 
with "best of" in front of the name is automatically gonna be 
less than satisfying. Like, we all love the Smiths, right? Sure 
we do! But do we like their Best Of CD's, volumes 1 and 2? No we 
don't. And we all liked Tom Green before his show got bad, right? 
Yeah! But did we enjoy "The Best Of Tom Green"? Not so much! Best 
Ofs are always second rate, and No Shame Bests Ofs are no 
exception.  Er, that's what _I_ think. I am giving an opinion, 
Nick. You are free to disagree with me. That is OK for you to not 
like what I say. Don't feel bad because maybe you love Best Of 
the most. You can like it all you want. You can want to have a 
baby of it and no one is going to laugh because your opnion isn't 
as good as theirs, Nicker. You are free. Free to be poop and pee.

-fose

Time: Mon, 13-Dec-1999 19:15:31 GMT     IP: 63.25.166.40

Jamal-

I must respectfully disagree with your stated opinion.  Best Of 
is not necessarily awful, although, yes, some Best ofs are 
better than others.  Sometimes, Best Of drags on with all the 
empty pageantry and self-important pomp of the Oscars, but 
sometimes, Best Of is truly magical.  Take, for example, the 
Best Of for last spring.  That was, despite my having seen most 
of the pieces already, easily in the top three nights of No 
Shame I've seen ever. And as much as the idea of every No Shame 
piece as a theatrical Tir Tairngir magically appearing once 
every lifetime, filling the life of a lucky moor-bound peasant 
with sublime paralyzing bliss, and then slipping unremembered 
away into the curling Gaelic mists appeals to me romantically, 
there are lots of NS pieces that deserve the widest possible 
airing. Fose Fatfard, Sanford Meisner and Son, and the Language 
of Brutality deserve not only Best of slots, but also to be 
played over and over on broadcast television until everyone is 
like us. 

I think I lost track of what I was saying. It's got something to 
do with my liking Best Of.

Jim "of Finland" Erwin
James Erwin "of the Clan MacErwin"
Erwinred the Unready

Time: Mon, 13-Dec-1999 22:32:07 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.107

I think BONS serves several useful purposes and has several 
drawbacks, but the usefulness over-rides the drawbacks in my 
opinion.

BONS works, as I said before, as a showing of the best NS has to 
offer. NS gets a bad rap from some people (who usually haven't 
been to it much). The rap is that it's a selfish, self-serving, 
vulgar, inside joke filled night of lame theater shit. Which 
sometimes it is. But there is also some beautiful, moving, funny, 
shocking and fucking-with-the-Man stuff that comes out of it, and 
BONS is a great way of showing that to us and to our audience. 

Which leads to point b. Not that there was point a. but point b 
is that BONS is sometimes the only night of NS people go to. NS 
has a core audience of diehards who come nearly every week, have 
favorite performers, favorite sketches and never, ever perform 
themselves. that's fine, those people are the bread and butter of 
NS. But there's also a fringe of people, who come maybe 2 or 3 
times a year, only when there's no parties, bar hoping or fuck 
fests going on. chances are, they will go to BONS. And maybe be 
inspired by BONS to say "wow, that was really good. I should 
go/perform/sleep with rothschild more". I look at BONS like a 
hook to draw more audience/performers in. We show them the 
best, so they want to see more. If the hook is shiny and has a 
chunk of Alaskan smoked salmon on it, the hook will land its 
target. If the hook is rusty and has a piece of rotten yam that 
was recently taken out of the ass of an east villiage performance 
artist named Krall, the fish (audience) will avoid it and go find 
their pleasure somewhere else, usually orally. 

Jesus God that was a long sentance.

Anyway, BONS is a way to show non regulars that NS always has 
something worth seeing, therefore should be seen as much as 
possible. 

I also look at it as a reward to our audience for being cool, and 
for us to have the balls (and ovaries) to do what we do. 

In short: BONS is cool. yes, NS thrives on that "see it once and 
never see it again" thrill. but, would I want to live the rest of 
my life never seeing "Brett Deckers", "Fose fatfard (Hi Jamal!!)" 
or "Have a fucking coke" again? hell no, dammit.

North dallas 40 Mike

Time: Tue, 14-Dec-1999 05:15:12 GMT     IP: 128.255.110.232


:In short: BONS is cool. yes, NS 
thrives on that "see it once and 
:never see it again" thrill. but, 
would I want to live the rest of 
:my life never seeing "Brett 
Deckers", "Fose fatfard (Hi 
Jamal!!)" 
:or "Have a fucking coke" again? 
hell no, dammit.
:
:North dallas 40 Mike


Granted I did WANT to see several 
of those pieces again, but I felt 
that the repeat performances 
paled in comparison to their 
forbears. I guess its better to 
be able to say, "ah, seeing Fose 
Fatfard vs. a Dead Bee a second 
time was not nearly as much fun 
as it should have been."  than to 
have to say "If only I could have 
seen Fose again, my life would be 
complete.  My dog would still be 
alive, my hair still blond, my 
car still operational.  Alas, I 
must drag the shell of a being 
that is myself through the days 
which lie before me like a 
yawning chasm knowing that I 
never saw Fose a second time, and 
never will. Oh cruel, cruel God, 
why do you torture me so?" but 
still, I can't say that I enjoyed 
BONS as an event this semester 
much at all.  Hooray for the 
Popeye thing being unexpected.  
Also, Okiishi's car thing stood 
up better than a lot of stuff and 
Kyle as Coke machine was a fun 
addition.  Still...

Time: Tue, 14-Dec-1999 19:13:11 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.2

Hooray for the 
:
Popeye thing being unexpected.  
:

I'm glad somebody appreciated that. Besides me. 
...Not like I CARE. Not like I'm looking for approval from that 
Man! A rebel such as I am? Don't make me laugh about that! 
See, I'm what you might call "totally cool", or "rad". Keep your 
attitude, buster, I have my own! (By which I mean a BAD attitude. 
Like Jay-Z or Marilyn Monroe. We'll fuck you up quick! 2 
times! ...Th-th-th-three times!) 

-Flicka 

Time: Tue, 14-Dec-1999 23:34:45 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.174

That was an excellent, excellent Bons, and I have seen many.

I think, to be quite blunt, that the only reason Nick is whining 
about it is that his piece (which wasn't that good in the first 
place and probably only got selected on principle, but who knows) 
went over poorly, and then some genius in the light booth cut him 
off before he could stutteringly blather more pointless lecture 
material at us that we didn't want to hear.  There was only one 
really low point to Bons this semester, and this was definitely 
it.  Talk about a piece that _really_ didn't work on the 2nd 
trial....yick.

Now that that's out of the way, the goodies:
(Pardon my lack of knowledge of titles, I usually do better but 
I'm too damned tired to research at present)
I didn't expect to, but I enjoyed the Flickety Hong Kong Phooey 
piece more the 2nd time than the first.  It didn't really strike 
me as a masterpiece, but an excellent example of what No Shame is 
about if a bit on the long side.

I really dug Mike and Neil's "All washed up" piece, reminded me 
of some scenes in Hudsucker Proxy, and was tasty good.  That's 
energy for ya, mmm hmm.  

Dead Babies was of course excellent, I really appreciated the 
brief tongue wag this time (not sure if that was a new addition 
or if I missed it the first time).

And my favorite of the semester was most delicious - the best 
friends sketch with the 6th sense thingie and the child nazi 
molestation.  That's just inspired.

 
 
Subject change:
Doing a different piece than gets selected at BONS
I'm very down on that as a whole.  The thing is, the board isn't 
selecting performers, it's selecting pieces.  When they put a 
piece that you did in BONS, they're not saying "You, Bif Biafra 
are the Best of No Shame!", they're saying your piece was 
inducted.  Sure, NS has a bit of its manifesto written by 
breaking rules.  But breaking some of them winds up appearing 
egotistical and can be (as Adam pointed out) problematic.  Not a 
huge issue, just kinda annoying in my book.

-The G Man

Time: Wed, 15-Dec-1999 09:04:53 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

   That was an excellent, excellent Bons, and I have seen many.
   I think, to be quite blunt, that the only reason Nick is whining
   about it is that his piece (which wasn't that good in the first
   place and probably only got selected on principle, but who knows)
   went over poorly, and then some genius in the light booth cut him
   off before he could stutteringly blather more pointless lecture
   material at us that we didn't want to hear.  There was only one
   really low point to Bons this semester, and this was definitely
   it.  Talk about a piece that _really_ didn't work on the 2nd
   trial....yick.


I think, despite what I perhaps wrongly percieve as a sarcastic or playful tone in this post, there is
more than a little truth in it.  I did not feel that my piece was terribly good.  I hadn't looked
forward to doing it again. I never really even noticed how it went over.  (the light cue was
scripted, btw).  It is possible that I projected my grumpiness with this one onto the show as a
whole, but in fact I really do feel that, given the power - comedic and otherwise - of this semester,
BONS was neither an accurate report of the  material, nor was it a synergetic, cohesive ball of fun
in its own right.  Also, I don't know what principle it might have been selected on - if it was that I
showed up and did a piece fairly frequently, Al should have gotten a piece in, since he did pieces
more frequently than did I - but then Al should have gotten a piece in anyhow.
Without trying to trivialize the arduous task of selecting a BONS order, I think the board could
have done a better job selecting pieces.  The only pieces that absolutely needed to be in, I felt,
were Fose and Ben's song.  I would say Okiishi's bit as well, but he did several things as good or
better.  Greatest Collaboration and A Friendship so deep would have worked if the confining
shallowness of the space hadn't been so confining and shallow.  Also, you should have known that
any kind of insult would only incite me to more online blather.  Shame on you.

Time: Wed, 15-Dec-1999 20:04:52 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.177

:Dead Babies... appreciated the tongue wag this time (not sure if 
:that was a new addition 

     New addition.  It was inspired by Hayley Mills' seminal 
performance in "Pollyanna," from whence I stole it.  Other 
mannerisms swiped from Pinocchio, my little sister Becky, and 
Laura Dern in "Blue Velvet."

                          -Rev. Chris Stangl

Time: Wed, 15-Dec-1999 21:09:27 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.2

NS has a bit of its manifesto written by 
:
breaking rules.  But breaking some of them winds up appearing 
:
egotistical and can be (as Adam pointed out) problematic

Yeah, I can see how doing a difern't piece is kind of 
egotistical. I don't know why I was so opposed to doing "Lovey to 
Laugh" again, but I really didn't want to. There's something 
particularly unpleasant to me about doing a monlogue twice. If 
they'd picked that piece where Brooks stabs his poops with a coat 
hanger, I'd have been all over doing that again. But anyways...

I feel I must defend Nick's piece. I think it was a good piece 
and very funny the 1st time. It was a bad choice for BONS. It was 
a one-time kind of thing and not at all a piece that should be 
done twice. But it certainly wasn't "yick". I would have rather 
seen Nick's "Where's the Love?" again. That mickey-fickey was 
stuck in my head for days: "Here comes the love! That's not 
enough! Here comes some love! There's a booger in Kate's butt! Oh 
yeah! Yes!" Pure bliss.

-Jackmack

Time: Wed, 15-Dec-1999 21:11:28 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.2

"out my rum"? That makes no sense, Jamal. You're a dumbass.

Time: Thu, 16-Dec-1999 01:32:34 GMT     IP: 206.29.242.170

:...and then some genius in the light booth cut him 
:off before he could stutteringly blather more pointless lecture 
:material at us that we didn't want to hear.

That genius was me, and the cue was scripted... k? mmm k

Time: Thu, 16-Dec-1999 18:13:54 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.154

:That genius was me, and the cue was scripted... k? mmm k
:

Kehry--I think that means you did it really well.

Time: Thu, 16-Dec-1999 21:59:43 GMT     IP: 206.153.216.182

::That genius was me, and the cue was scripted... k? mmm k
:

Kehry--I think that means you did it really well.
:

Oh... Pardon.  It's very difficult to judge sarcasm (or lack of 
it) in internet postings.  If I was wrong in my interpretation, I 
apologize to Mr. Stangl

Time: Fri, 17-Dec-1999 01:26:44 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.207

I've got a flamin' tongue, what can I say.

Firstly, kudos, I had no idea the light blackout was scripted.  
And yes, it was stunningly executed and I must give credit where 
it's due - nice touch, nice timing, yesss.  Ya got me.

As for "principle", I was thinking the piece was selected for Best 
Of along the thinking lines of putting in something that attacks 
the forum.  Basically, No Shame showing that it's far from above 
critique.  But I don't think it shoulda been in thar, especially 
for those of us who'd seen it before.  Really not a 2nd timer.  It 
seemed like too large a buildup for the payoff the first time, but 
maybe others had different mileage with dat.

And anyhoo, my ramblin's were meant in a largely playful manner, 
always are.  And also, I just thought Bons was most delicious, and 
figured the negative reaction Nick had to it was stemming from 
personal experience more than an actual lack of quality on stage.

-Grinch Mitchell

Time: Fri, 17-Dec-1999 19:18:55 GMT     IP: 205.188.197.183

Hi Greg!!! How are you? 

Time: Sat, 18-Dec-1999 10:28:59 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.113

   I missed that skit the first time around.  I liked it. I 
didn't get any sense that it wasn't received well.

   I haven't read this forum in a bit and maybe I'm alone in 
saying this, but Fuck you, Fanky.  I hate you.  I hate your 
miserable guts.  I like to eat your miserable guts, though.  I 
don't hate them so much that I don't like to eat them.

   And, by the way, you will, likewise, have to excuse my 
ramblings as they are also written in a playful manner, no 
matter how needlessly hurtful they might appear on the surface.


                    I am Carl.  Send hatemail, please.

Time: Mon, 20-Dec-1999 20:03:32 GMT     IP: 152.163.195.204

  Hey! Here's some kinda cool 
news!                                     
 I came home for ze 'olidays on Saturday, home being Des Moines, 
the northern part, like Urbandale and such, and I was flipping 
through this part of the Register from last Thursday's edition, 
the Datebook, and I happened across a little notice about the 
current plays around town. One of them was The Eight: Reindeer 
Monologues, which was performed in two theatres, which now I 
can't remember, except one was fairly new and was just up the 
block from the Varsity, in the Drake area. For those who don't 
know, this little play was written by our very own webmaster Jeff 
Goode. So, expect a little royalty check, Jeff! Unfortunately, I 
found out about this too late to actually see it, but I still 
thought it was pretty neato.

Oh, you're quite welcome!

Time: Tue, 21-Dec-1999 00:32:25 GMT     IP: 204.246.221.203

:  Hey! Here's some kinda cool 
:
news!                                     
:
 I came home for ze 'olidays on Saturday, home being Des Moines, 
:
the northern part, like Urbandale...

Urbandale?  Ick.  I was almost arrested in Urbandale.  Not that 
this has anything to do with Jeff's play.  I'm sure the play is 
magnificent.  I just wanted to say that I hate Urbandale.  So 
there - I said it.  Mark - you are cool, even though you live 
there.  Stay away from the cops, though.  They're MEAN!

Time: Thu, 23-Dec-1999 06:52:06 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.113

I've READ all these messages? What's WRONG with you people? Tell 
me a thing for me to read!

Time: Fri, 24-Dec-1999 21:59:47 GMT     IP: 152.163.197.73


:I've READ all these messages? What's WRONG with you people? Tell 
:
me a thing for me to read!

    That jon Stewart book is supposed to be good.

Time: Sun, 26-Dec-1999 07:39:44 GMT     IP: 152.163.206.186

:I've READ all these messages? What's WRONG with you people? Tell 
:me a thing for me to read!


Man On the Moon is very good. I saw it tonight. 

Also, winter break sucks.

And I am cool.

Mike

Time: Mon, 27-Dec-1999 00:03:09 GMT     IP: 205.188.199.174


Man On the Moon is very good. I saw it tonight. 
:

:
Also, winter break sucks.
:

:
And I am cool.

Two of these three statements are true. One is false. It's p to you to decide, cuz I'm not telling. 

P.S. I am cool, too.

Markamusssss

Time: Mon, 27-Dec-1999 22:35:13 GMT     IP: 208.154.158.209

:Man On the Moon is very good. I saw it tonight. 
:Also, winter break sucks.
:And I am cool.
:Mike

WOW!  I was very impressed with that movie as well.  I think Jim 
Carrey deserves best actor for his performance.  Excellent film.
What about the Green Mile though?  I thought it was an incredible 
work as well.  It's my guess for best picture.
     K.A.L.

Time: Wed, 29-Dec-1999 18:57:41 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.129


Here are my "complaints" about the "things" the last three people 
"wrote" for Nate (mean) and Francis (nice) to read:

1) Markmus' statement that "that Jon Stewart book is supposed to 
be good" was totally useless to young Francis (who'd asked for 
something to read).  Naturally Mr. Stewart set out with the 
intention of writing a "good" book.  Of course it was SUPPOSED to 
be good. Duh, Mark. Duh.

2) Rothschildren's follow-up that "Man on the Moon," and himself 
were good, but Winter Break "sucks" had several problems:
       a) Neither "Man on the Moon" in the format to which Rothco 
was refering nor Rothco himself are primarily "read," thus making 
mincemeat of Mark Hansen's delicate joke (ie- Francisnate wanted 
to "read" some posts here, but Markmus suggested a book for him 
to "read"!!!!!)
       b) Winter Break "sucking" is supposed to be a criticism, 
presumably implying that Winter Break "sucks dick" or "sucks 
penis" or "sucks penile-dick" or fellates him in some way.  I 
have personally found all the above to actually be enjoyable, not 
negative at all, and endorse them fully.

3) Mr. Lane's "guess" that "The Green Mile" would win Best 
Picture seems dubious to me.  I do not care about the Academy 
Awards, since I agree with not ONE Best Picture winner since 
their creation ("Wings" over "The General"? Fuck that shit!), but 
the Academy nearly invarably prefers historical epics for the 
last thirty years, at the almost total exclusion of any other 
genre from the Best Picture category.  They could pull a weird 
"Silence of the Lambs" choice this year, but it seems unlikely. 
To me. And you, too. Even when they pick a comedy ("Forrest 
Gump") or hybrid action- romance picture ("Titanic"), it's 
usually bent in the historical epic direction.

          Your Pal-o
           -Bazooka Chris Stangl

Time: Wed, 29-Dec-1999 22:39:10 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.154

I heard a story about Mark.  It may have been twisted over time 
by the effectus grapevinius, but here's how it was told to me:

Mark went to visit a friend of his.  She said to him, "I've been 
very sick for the last few days.  I hope you don't contract 
anything."

And Mark replied, "I will not."



(It may take a second, but I assure you, it's funny.)
(Or maybe I'm just a geek.  I have told this to several people,
 and some of them have just stared at me like "buh?!??")

Time: Thu, 30-Dec-1999 02:14:49 GMT     IP: 152.163.206.178

    I have to step in, though I have yet to see the movie myself, 
to defend Kehry's Oscar pic.
The evidence:
1. Qouth the Stangl, "the Academy nearly invarably prefers 
historical epics for the last thirty years." While it might not 
technically qualify as a "historical epic", "The Green Mile" is 
set in the thirties (I think, but I read that book a long time 
ago) and it is three hours long. That probably will make it the 
most historical-esque, epic-y movie within range of nominations.
2. Tom Hanks