Time: Sun, 03-Oct-1999 17:21:58 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.138

This week I had to plug my ears during Chris' cat torture 
monologue, which I think I liked even worse than Dan's tooth 
speech. Cuz it was about torturing a cat. The rest of Chris' 
speech was pretty funny. 

Wow. There were a lot of serious pieces. Odd. Who woulda guessed?

I thought the show overall was OK. There were lots of "funny 
enough" pieces, but not many great ones. And there were several 
I didn't care for at all.

Juggling Brad was a more than welcome re-addition. I was glad to 
see him again. I don't think juggling Brad is capable of bombing.

Let's see... what else... I can't remember most of the stuff. I 
liked Neil's piece, I liked Arlen's piece, I liked Nick's poem, 
I liked Al's poem and was impressed by the startling contrast of 
that piece compared to everything else Al has done. I liked my 
piece. You know, the one about pooping? I thought Dan and Kyle 
did a great job. I think it was much funnier to see them talk 
about poop than to see me and Chris, maybe because everybody's 
used to seeing me and Chris talk about poop.

Didn't care for the job interview piece with the dwarf and the 
zany movie titles. Reminded me too much of SNL (only more 
swears). I also was disappointed with the Wicca piece. Believe 
it or not, "Wicca" and "Stereotypical Devil Cult" are not 
interchangeable terms. Maybe that was part of the joke, I don't 
know.
  
I enjoyed the egg man's piece, but not for the reasons I was 
supposed to. I giggled with delight as the egg inards splattered 
and dripped all over the stage. (Though the destruction of 3 
whole cartons of eggs was a bit depressing) It brought me back 
to a wonderful, creamy piece from over a year ago... And 
speaking of that piece, my buggy Chris gotted banned for 3 weeks 
when HE messed up the stage! I betcha this fellow won't see that 
kind of disciplinary action. What is that? Of course, since the 
Chris ban was bullshit, it wouldn't be right to suggest the same 
punishment for this guy, just for the sake of consistency. So I 
figure Chris just deserves compensation. I think Chris should be 
allowed to damage the space and/or its occupants to his heart's 
content for three consecutive weeks of No Shame. And then we'll 
call it square.

-River 

Time: Sun, 03-Oct-1999 18:23:29 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.113

:speaking of that piece, my buggy Chris gotted banned for 3 weeks 
:when HE messed up the stage! I betcha this fellow won't see that 
:kind of disciplinary action.

I think this guy checked with the board beforehand (which 
somewhat gets him off the hook since they let him do it), but he 
still did nowhere enough to protect the stage.  Bleah.  Of course, 
the other main difference is that right now the floor in Theatre B 
looks like crap anyway so I'm betting no other show is 
particularly uptight about its condition.  All in the timing I 
guess.

Of course, I know not what Those In Charge may or may not be 
intending to do about it.  Besides having mopped it up.

The other thing is, No Shame got put on probation when the jelly 
thing happened on Mabie stage, with the threat that one more 
incident of "damage" that semester would result (as I recall) in 
No Shame being kicked out of the Theater Building.  In that light, 
it's hard for me to let go and laugh when stuff gets spilled, 
since I like having a No Shame to go to on Friday nights.  
Regardless of how (un)reasonable such sanctions might seem to you 
or I or the board, we would all pay the price if the department 
disowned the event so the board has to take a hard-ass stand when 
No Shame is on the line.

Time: Sun, 03-Oct-1999 20:48:21 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.113

I gotta say, it's not too often that two pieces in a night of No 
Shame actually get the "oh my god, I can't believe they're doing 
that" reaction out of me.  I mean, after a while you get 
used to a lot of the things people throw out there to get 
a rise out of the audience.  However, artistic merits aside, the 
piece where Aaron Galbraith serves as a prop and the piece where 
Kehry Lane did the strip-tease at his father were definitely in 
pretty startling territory.  Heh.  Nudity AND strip-teases have 
happened before at No Shame, but context and presentation can 
make old things brand spankin' new.

I also liked the new twist on the Poop Piece genre, especially 
the intro and its head-on addressing of the issues surrounding 
poop pieces at No Shame--which was well followed by Dan and 
Kyle's rendition.

I think Chris Okiishi's piece about the pagan family would have 
gone over a lot better if the script hadn't been printed out in a 
really small font so Sarah had to squint'n'read--or at least it 
looked like that was what was happening.  I'm sure Chris was 
consciously playing on misconceptions about paganism to further 
the ludicrous premise of the family conversion, though I suppose 
he coulda just made the kid convert to satan worship to clear up 
any ambiguities.

And Mike Cassady's piece was commendably brief and capped off a 
simple premise (the ever-familiar writing-about-writing-for-No 
Shame theme) with a very funny punch line.  It reminds me of the 
night that Dan Brooks had a piece titled "The Ideal No Shame 
Piece is Seven Seconds Long," and that same night James Erwin 
had a piece that was exactly that long that happened to be very, 
very funny.  Synchronicity.  Of course, Mike Cassady's piece was 
nothing like either of these pieces, aside from being shorter 
than most, but I'm reminded of them anyway.

And there was probably a lot more to talk about that no one has 
yet addressed, but I usually can't remember without the order.  
Which will be along soon, I'm sure.

Time: Sun, 03-Oct-1999 22:31:07 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.129

Mang, I totally forgot about the Aaron's butt skit. I can't 
believe it. Yeah, that was pretty darn funny.

As for messing up the stage: I had no idea No Shame was in danger 
of losing the space as a result of the creamed corn incident. I 
thought it was just politics. I apologize for my uninformed 
assumptions. I guess it wouldn't be wise to have Chris destroy 
the No Shame stage for three weeks. Perhaps instead we could put 
Chris, The Egg Man, 4 gallons of corn, and 8 dozen eggs into an 
huge garbage bag. We let it sit for three weeks and then see 
who's alive when we open it up. My money's on the corn. (...But 
my heart's rooting for Chris! Yay Stangl!) 

Time: Mon, 04-Oct-1999 00:29:34 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.189

 I also was disappointed with the Wicca piece. Believe 
:
it or not, "Wicca" and "Stereotypical Devil Cult" are not 
:
interchangeable terms. Maybe that was part of the joke, I don't 
:
know.


Sorry to potentially offend the Wiccan members of the audience.  
The piece was actually based on a family I counseled a few years 
back in another city, where the mother of the family, in order to 
support her son's new choice in religion, went with him to all 
the functions.  Every reference I made in the piece to the 
functions of the religion were from their conversation and from 
other chances I've had to chat with Wicca believers.  I didn't 
mean to present them as a "Devil Cult" because they are not.  I 
just thought the clash of Christian-Mom culture and pagan worship 
would be funny, because, believe me, it exists, and is pretty 
cool.  My forgiveness-begging to anyone inadvertanly mis-
represented.

Sorry also that Sarah's font was too small.  THAT, at least, was 
not my specific fault.

Time: Mon, 04-Oct-1999 14:33:45 GMT     IP: 152.163.207.178

First of all, to answer "$'s" criticisms from last week:
     Yes, I did come back, so I guess that means I am full of 
crap.
     I do know what queef means. I don't consider my life to have 
become any richer as a result of gaining this knowledge, so I 
decided early on that anyone who didn't know before my 
performance wouldn't learn from me.

     I'd like to thank everyone who pitched in to help clean up 
after I did my thing with the eggs. I expected to have to get it 
all myself, but it seemed like half the theater helped.
     I was trying to get a more-or-less serious point across, 
(I'm not sure if it worked) not just make a mess, and I promise 
never to use a splattering visual food metaphor onstage at No 
Sha

Time: Mon, 04-Oct-1999 17:53:58 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.124

   I've been watching No Shame off and on for a couple of years, 
now, but you have never seen me on stage and you probably never 
will.
   I just had to say that last week's show was something 
wonderful.  It wasn't the best No Shame ever but, despite the 
fact that, yes, it was overly long, I really did some enjoying 
that night.
   The egg piece, I thought, was a shame.  Even though the piece 
itself was poorly conceived and even though the whole smashing 
egg thing was about as artistic and/or thought provoking as it 
was clean, (or as "This is your brain on drugs...") there really 
was some wonderful writing in it, as reading the script, posted 
here, reaffirmed for me.  It was a shame that he had to smash the 
eggs in the first place and a shame that it all went awry, 
leaving nothing but a giggling audience/horrified board behind.
   Say, wasn't the now famous Chris Stangl banned for doing as 
much when he was but a fledgling No Shamer?  (I know that has 
already been brought up in this forum, but I needed to use 
something to segue into my next topic.  You will see after the 
closing parenthesis how beautifully this is done.)  Speaking of 
fledgling performers on their way to stardom, was that Arlen 
Lawson up there the same Arlen Lawson who did those Rabid Chicken 
pieces last semester?  You know, the ones that made me want to 
scream, "Stop it!  For the love of all that is funny, just get 
your fucking ass off the stage and stop coming back!"  When he 
took the stage, I was expecting to be disgusted but was, instead, 
blown away.  That was a wonderful skit.
   Other things that blew me away:  The Aaron's butt/striptease 
sketch.  (That was one and the same wasn't it?)  I do, however, 
get MTV and was more blown away by the fella's audacity than by 
any misconception that his schtick was original.  Just the same, 
the audacity was it and it was very much hilarious.  Also, I'm 
only talking about the striptease portion when I bring up the 
audacity vs. originality thing.
   Now back to Chris Stangl...  Wonderful, wonderful piece, Chris 
Stangl.  But was that a script you pulled out?  I can't remember 
if I have ever seen you use a script on the No Shame stage... 
ever.   (Of course, I have, shamefully, missed more than one week 
of No Shame.)  As little as I would normally have cared, and 
especially for a piece like that, I was just doing some wondering 
about how that must have felt for you, as all reports indicate 
that the memorization of lines is something that you pride 
yourself on.
   Jamal's poop skit?  Hysterical!  Despite the audience's 
reaction to most of his poop skits, I have loved every single 
one.  I don't particularly go for toilet humor, but it seems to 
me that when he does it, the joke is less about the poop and more 
about the fact that he continues to tell the jokes and to make a 
theme of them in the face of the fact that the audience doesn't 
react well.  Of course, this time the audience reacted well and I 
still enjoyed it, so maybe I'm just into poop humor, after all.
   What else can I remember about the night?  
   Brad's piece was funny, but mostly in the way that a sequel is 
funny, in that it references the previous jokes and makes you 
remember how hard you laughed the first time you heard that joke. 
 I'm not knocking it... Hell, I remembered it and I only remember 
what I actively like or actively hate.  And I did not actively 
hate it.  I'm just saying... that it was wonderful and this 
confused paragraph should be stricken from the record.
   That's all.  I really hope to see more from Arlen and that he 
wasn't offended by what I wrote about his old skits.

                         Carl

Time: Mon, 04-Oct-1999 20:29:42 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.154

re: nobody caring about a non-performer's review--I beg to differ!  
I would really love to see more audience feedback.  Non-performers 
have perhaps a different perspective, perhaps not (since 
performers are audience members too), but either way No Shame 
would be nothing without an audience.  And audience members must 
have opinions or they wouldn't keep coming back...   If there's 
anyone else out there who thinks they need a pass or somethin' to 
get in on this discussion, please dive right on in.

:I do, however, 
:get MTV and was more blown away by the fella's audacity than by 
:any misconception that his schtick was original.

I get MTV but don't watch it much.  What was being parodied?

:   Now back to Chris Stangl...  Wonderful, wonderful piece, Chris 
:Stangl.  But was that a script you pulled out?  I can't remember 
:if I have ever seen you use a script on the No Shame stage... 
:ever.

Ya know, this occured to me a couple of days after the show.  At 
least once in the past Chris Stangl pulled out a script, referred 
to it, and put it away--but later I heard that THAT action was 
scripted!  I'd be surprised if he scripted this last one though.  
Yet it's hard to complain after a history of such dedicated 
memorization, considering I hardly ever memorize things myself..

But it does bring to mind something I was wondering---Chris, how 
far in advance are your pieces written so you can memorize them so 
well?

Time: Tue, 05-Oct-1999 00:07:25 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.141

Duder, how can I stop calling you the Egg Man? It's a great name. 
People would kill to have a nick name like the Egg Man. You are 
an egg among men, and I think you should flaunt it, Mickey. You 
go! And you don't stop! Yeah!  

Time: Tue, 05-Oct-1999 00:13:24 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.141

Sir, I must agree with Mr. Burton: it's lovely to hear a non-
performer's review of the show. And not just because you like 
poop skits. Well, maybe... no, not just because you like poop 
skits.

-River

Time: Tue, 05-Oct-1999 00:25:08 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.113

Um, if he's the Egg Man, would that make me the Walrus?

Time: Tue, 05-Oct-1999 03:04:08 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.137

 I would really love to see more audience feedback

And I personally don't understand why you would come but not get 
that itching, irresistable, Tourettes-like urge to do a piece. 
Why is there such a thing as a regular No Shame audience member?

I do get MTV

Tom Green, even though he is the funniest man alive, did not 
invent abusing your parents for a privileged audience's 
amusement.  Misbehaving in front of your progenitors is a time-
honored No Shame tradition, just like pretentious poetry and 
getting foodstuffs and crap on the stage.

 was that a script you pulled out?

It ain't Wendell Willkie!

 ever seen you use a script on the No Shame stage

Perhaps you haven't seen it, but I have forgotten lines so 
severely that I needed to check my script (usually concealed on 
my person in a secret hidey-hole) on at least 3 ocassions. I have 
done two or three pieces entirely off scripts, or with script in 
hand.  Most recently my last Dead Week piece.

 At least once in the past Chris Stangl pulled out a script
 I heard that THAT action was scripted!

Sometimes when a "character" is reading off a "script," I even 
like to use a blank sheet of paper, and wave it around, so people 
can see it's blank and I look cool and everybody likes me and is 
my friend.  Then I get invited to parties, and everybody wants to 
marry me.

 how far in advance are your pieces written so you can memorize 
 them so well?

1) They're actually memorized very poorly.  I blow lines right-n-
left, drop perfectly good jokes, etc.  I'm usually groping for 
the next line, and use laugh-pauses to remember the next bit. 
That's why it's important for you to laugh every three or four 
words.
2) Pieces are written between 1 year ("Judy Garland") to 4 hours 
("Broken Heart, Broken Hymen") in advance, but changes are made 
right up until I step on stage.
3) I was so busy memorizing my lines for Arlen's piece that I 
decided to focus on getting my character down, instead of 
specific dialogue.  I stand by my choice.  Yay me.

Love,
Chris Stangl!!!!!!!!!

Time: Tue, 05-Oct-1999 07:58:38 GMT     IP: 152.173.38.111

Okay so here's as much of the order as I can piece together, any other clues would be greatly
appreciated:

Dan Brooks - "Dan's Ambercrombie piece"

 Mike Cassady - "Mike Cassady's piece was commendably brief and capped off a simple premise
(the ever-familiar writing-about-writing-for-No Shame theme) with a very funny punch line."

 [author unknown] - The Aaron's butt/striptease sketch. // And the nipply tassly guy dancing to
Yello for his father was excellent indeed, in that "I can't believe it!" sort of way. // and the piece
where Kehry Lane did the strip-tease at his father were definitely in pretty startling territory.
(performed by Kehry Lane...)

 Bradley Harris - "The juggling rocked the house as expected, he's sooo good - it was almost as if
jubbling little red balls was too easy for him after the stuff he's done in the past."

 Chris [last name?] - Chris' cat torture monologue [perhaps the one where Chris Stangl pulled out
a script?]

 Neil Campbell - Neil's piece

 Arlen Lawson - Arlen's piece (performed by Chris Stangl)

 Nick Clark - Nick's poem

 Al Angel - "I liked Al's poem and was impressed by the startling contrast of that piece compared
to everything else Al has done." 

 Jamal River - "You know, the one about pooping?" (performed by Dan Brooks, Kyle Lange)

 [author unknown] - the job interview piece with the dwarf and the zany movie titles

 Adam Hahn - Egg

 [author unknown] - the piece where Aaron Galbraith serves as a prop

 Chris Okiishi - the Wicca piece (performed by Chris Okiishi, Sarah Greer) 

 Brad [last name?] - "Brad's piece was funny, but mostly in the way that a sequel is funny, in that
it references the previous jokes and makes you remember how hard you laughed the first time you
heard that joke." 

Time: Tue, 05-Oct-1999 13:33:44 GMT     IP: 152.163.197.67

No, Chris Okiishi didn't perform in his piece with Sarah Greer, I 
did. (Chris wasn't there Friday night) Do the two of us really 
look that much alike?
Do you realize you listed Aaron's ass twic

Time: Tue, 05-Oct-1999 17:07:58 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.25

too much serious stuff about the futility of love.  me, al, eggman and willie and probably more
people I'm forgetting.
Made for a depressing show.  Though it was all really good.  I think willie was talking about the
Mill.

The funny stuff was funny though.  There seemed to be a father-son theme to the show.  Nice to
see family values expounded by NSers.

I was able to read my poem louder and faster than I rehearsed it.  Yay.  I had hoped to outdo
Dan's second time through the order.  I think I did, but I'm not sure.  second opinion?

My favorite poop sketch to date, dismemberment, brass tacks in cats, parentheses, motorcycles. 
All great.

Keep on shuckin'.(This bein' Iowa an' all)

Time: Tue, 05-Oct-1999 17:12:12 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.2


:
: [author unknown] - The Aaron's butt/striptease sketch. // And 
the nipply tassly guy dancing to Yello for his father was 
excellent indeed, in that "I can't believe it!" sort of way. // 
and the piece where Kehry Lane did the strip-tease at his father 
were definitely in pretty startling territory. (performed by Kehry 
Lane...)

This and the strip tease piece are one and the same, and I assume 
Mr. Lane wrote it
:

: Chris [last name?] is Stangl
:
: Neil Campbell - Neil's piece
:
: Arlen Lawson - Arlen's piece (performed by Chris Stangl) Well, 
sort of performed by Chris. One line, anyway. Also performed by 
Arlen, Mark, and me.
:
: Nick Clark - Nick's poem
:
: Al Angel - "I liked Al's poem and was impressed by the startling 
contrast of that piece compared to everything else Al has done." 
:
: Jamal River - "You know, the one about pooping?" (performed by 
Dan Brooks, Kyle Lange)
:
: [author unknown] - the job interview piece with the dwarf and 
the zany movie titles. Author= Rothschild
:
: Adam Hahn - Egg
:
 
:
: Brad [last name?] Smith

Time: Tue, 05-Oct-1999 18:46:28 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.154

:No, Chris Okiishi didn't perform in his piece with Sarah Greer, I 
:did. (Chris wasn't there Friday night) Do the two of us really 
:look that much alike?
:Do you realize you listed Aaron's ass twic

Actually, Jeff Goode is the webmaster for No Shame, but he 
performs his duties from far, far away.  So he hasn't seen No 
Shame in a few years.  We could easily convince him that you and 
Chris are almost identical if everyone else would play along..

Time: Tue, 05-Oct-1999 21:56:05 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.116

Announcements: Al's final pizza-delivery night.
     [performed by Brooks and Lange, appearance by Angel]

Brad Smith- Cut off my hand? Yes!
     [performed by Smith and Galbraith w/ Stangl, Brooks, 
Lawson]

Bradley Harris- "Lights Up"
     [performed by Harris]
Note: Brad or Brad went first, but who the hamba-jup can 
remember?!

Jamal River- "Yes, Mose Hayward Smelt It, and Yes, He Dealt It."
     [performed by River, Brooks and Lange]

Arlen Lawson- "Sheridan Way"
     [performed by Lawson, Hansen, River and Stangl]

Danger Brooks- "The Abercrombie -&- Fitch Theory"
     [performed by Brooks and Powell]

Mark "Malkmus" Hansen- "Shady Pines, Part I"
     [performed by Hansen, Mitchell, Campbell, Smith_ more?]

Kehry Lane -&- Guy- "We're Not Gay, We Just Like To Stare At Men's 
Asses_ Well, Maybe (some guy) Is Gay, But Not Us".  (I 
paraphrase.)
     [performed by Lane, another guy, Galbraith's butthole and 
Lane's visibly aroused father.]

Balls "Neil" Campbell- Good parenting, smack and self-esteem.
     [performed by Balls, Lane, and who else, yo?]

Mike Rothschild- "Ziggurat" (?)
     [performed by Rothschild, Brooks, Powell, more?]

Nick Clark - Nick's poem: "Here Comes The Love" (?)
     [performed by Clark]

Kyle Lange- Dead dad!
     [performed by Lange]

12) Chris Stangl- "Broken Heart, Broken Hymen: An Apocalypse"
     [performed by Stangl]

Willie Barbour- "Fantasy, A Trilogy in Three Parts"
     [performed by Barbour]

Al Angel- Hog Tied Poem!
     [performed by Angel, assisted by Lawson]

Mario Sosa- Ray-Ban Monkey masturbates, eats semen!
     [performed by Sosa]

Mike Cassady- The piece that is is short!
     [performed by Cassady and Greer]

Chris Okiishi - "The Family That Preys Together, Stays Together"
     [performed by Greer and Eggman Hahn]

last) Eggman Hahn- "Egg"
     [performed by Egg-a-loba Hahn "Solo" Eggman]

Post show) Cleaning up egg scum!
     [performed by Brooks, Eggy and co.]

Time: Tue, 05-Oct-1999 23:05:03 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.61

Brad Smith's was first.  I can't remember the title but he made it 
up on the spot anyway.

Mark's was "Knotty Pines" and was fourth.  And I was in it.

Mine was fifth.

Al's was second to last.  In the order.  In terms of quality it 
was much higher than second to last.  Much, much higher.

I think the Bare ass / striptease was immediately before that and 
I think that Mario's piece was before that, but I'm not sure.

Was James Erwin in Mike's piece?

And, as I've included below the post made by Stangl and his 
absolutely supernatural memory, I think that makes this post the 
most fillin'-in-the-details-'bout'n-the-order post yet.

Arlen 

:Announcements: Al's final pizza-delivery night.
:    [performed by Brooks and Lange, appearance by Angel]
:
:Brad Smith- Cut off my hand? Yes!
:    [performed by Smith and Galbraith w/ Stangl, Brooks, 
:Lawson]
:
:Bradley Harris- "Lights Up"
:    [performed by Harris]
:Note: Brad or Brad went first, but who the hamba-jup can 
:remember?!
:
:Jamal River- "Yes, Mose Hayward Smelt It, and Yes, He Dealt It."
:    [performed by River, Brooks and Lange]
:
:Arlen Lawson- "Sheridan Way"
:    [performed by Lawson, Hansen, River and Stangl]
:
:Danger Brooks- "The Abercrombie --&-- Fitch Theory"
:    [performed by Brooks and Powell]
:
:Mark "Malkmus" Hansen- "Shady Pines, Part I"
:    [performed by Hansen, Mitchell, Campbell, Smith_ more?]
:
:Kehry Lane --&-- Guy- "We're Not Gay, We Just Like To Stare At 
Men's 
:Asses_ Well, Maybe (some guy) Is Gay, But Not Us".  (I 
:paraphrase.)
:    [performed by Lane, another guy, Galbraith's butthole and 
:Lane's visibly aroused father.]
:
:Balls "Neil" Campbell- Good parenting, smack and self-esteem.
:    [performed by Balls, Lane, and who else, yo?]
:
:Mike Rothschild- "Ziggurat" (?)
:    [performed by Rothschild, Brooks, Powell, more?]
:
:Nick Clark - Nick's poem: "Here Comes The Love" (?)
:    [performed by Clark]
:
:Kyle Lange- Dead dad!
:    [performed by Lange]
:
:12) Chris Stangl- "Broken Heart, Broken Hymen: An Apocalypse"
:    [performed by Stangl]
:
:Willie Barbour- "Fantasy, A Trilogy in Three Parts"
:    [performed by Barbour]
:
:Al Angel- Hog Tied Poem!
:    [performed by Angel, assisted by Lawson]
:
:Mario Sosa- Ray-Ban Monkey masturbates, eats semen!
:    [performed by Sosa]
:
:Mike Cassady- The piece that is is short!
:    [performed by Cassady and Greer]
:
:Chris Okiishi - "The Family That Preys Together, Stays Together"
:    [performed by Greer and Eggman Hahn]
:
:last) Eggman Hahn- "Egg"
:    [performed by Egg-a-loba Hahn "Solo" Eggman]
:
:Post show) Cleaning up egg scum!
:    [performed by Brooks, Eggy and co.]

Time: Tue, 05-Oct-1999 23:16:31 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.61

   Okay, so apparently, another post was made while I was posting 
that last one and apparently there is a a new contender.
   It's okay, though, cause I remembered more.  Al's piece was 
called "The Bondage Piece"
   There you have it.

Time: Wed, 06-Oct-1999 00:18:32 GMT     IP: 205.188.192.41

This is what I had scribbled for the order (not exact titles or 
authors, but I think you can match some of them up to what you 
have):
1 Demp (this title made no sense)
2 Light (I think Lights up)
3 Yes- Jamal
4 Pines (Hansen? I can't read my writing)
5
5.5 poem
6 Ziggarut
7 ? (I think Brooks wrote and/or performed #7, there was nothing 
on his order when I copied it)
8 Again- Kyle Lange
9 Men's Asses
10 Fantasy- Barbour
11 Balls
12 Stangl
13 Cassidy's piece, the title was something about Oscar Wilde
13.5 Monkey
14 The Family That Preys Together. . . 
15 Bondage
16 Egg by

Time: Wed, 06-Oct-1999 00:18:32 GMT     IP: 24.9.192.139

:I gotta say, it's not too often that two pieces in a night of No 
: Shame actually get the "oh my god, I can't believe they're
:doing that" reaction out of me.  I mean, after a while you get 
: used to a lot of the things people throw out there to get 
: a rise out of the audience.  However, artistic merits aside, 
:the piece where Aaron Galbraith serves as a prop and the piece 
:where Kehry Lane did the strip-tease at his father were 
:definitely in pretty startling territory.  Heh.  Nudity AND 
:strip-teases have happened before at No Shame, but context and 
:presentation can make old things brand spankin' new.

I'm glad that the piece had that effect on at least one person.  
I have to say though that the entire thing would not have been 
possible if it wasn't for Aaron so galantly offering up his rump 
to the skit.  Many thanks are due him for his willingness to do 
something so "strange".
     K. Anson Lane

Time: Wed, 06-Oct-1999 00:36:47 GMT     IP: 24.9.192.139


   Other things that blew me away:  The Aaron's butt/striptease 
:
sketch.  (That was one and the same wasn't it?)  I do, however, 
:
get MTV and was more blown away by the fella's audacity than by 
:
any misconception that his schtick was original.  Just the same, 
:
the audacity was it and it was very much hilarious.  Also, I'm 
:
only talking about the striptease portion when I bring up the 
:
audacity vs. originality thing.


Just to make something clear...  I didn't realize what MTV had to 
do with anything when I first read this.  After reading following 
postings I realized that you must have thought this was a Tom 
Green spinoff in some effect.
    You are mistaken.  It is somewhat of a joke in our family to 
embarass my father at every opportunity.  He had a clue as to 
waht was going to happen because my mom spilled the beans before 
hand.]
    Additionally, I think that Tom Green is funny, but the idea 
did not originate from watching him as you might like to assume.  
Besides... It's not like I stood up and said "That's NEVER been 
done before"...  Just about everything had been done or at least 
thought of at one time or another.  I'm glad that you enjoyed it, 
but I guess I fail to see a reason for the offhand comments that 
are made to tear something down.  Especially when they are based 
on assumptions.
     K. Anson Lane

Time: Wed, 06-Oct-1999 00:38:31 GMT     IP: 24.9.192.139


Tom Green, even though he is the funniest man alive, did not 
:
invent abusing your parents for a privileged audience's 
:
amusement.  Misbehaving in front of your progenitors is a time-
:
honored No Shame tradition, just like pretentious poetry and 
:
getting foodstuffs and crap on the stage.
:

Exactly.. Thank you.

Time: Wed, 06-Oct-1999 00:44:23 GMT     IP: 24.9.192.139

:Kehry Lane --&-- Guy- "We're Not Gay, We Just Like To Stare At 
:Men's Asses_ Well, Maybe (some guy) Is Gay, But Not Us".  (I 
:paraphrase.)
:[performed by Lane, another guy, Galbraith's butthole and 
:Lane's visibly aroused father.]

Dad had wood?  Shit!

     K. Lane

Time: Wed, 06-Oct-1999 18:32:49 GMT     IP: 128.255.110.238

:First of all, to answer "$'s" criticisms from last week:
:     Yes, I did come back, so I guess that means I am full of 
:crap.
:     I do know what queef means. I don't consider my life to have 
:become any richer as a result of gaining this knowledge, so I 
:decided early on that anyone who didn't know before my 
:performance wouldn't learn from me.

Well, since ya came back, sorry fer sayin yer full of crepe.  
Crepes are good though.  You make 'em with a lot of eggs.
I'll take your word for it that you know what a queef is, but I 
don't know if I buy this explaination.  I can think of at least 
twelve points in my life at which this knowledge came in handy.  
Two of those times weren't even during no-shame skits.

Crazy week on the web, eh?  With all the biz about eggs and the 
lost order.  Yeesh.

Time: Wed, 06-Oct-1999 18:33:40 GMT     IP: 128.255.110.238

:First of all, to answer "$'s" criticisms from last week:
:     Yes, I did come back, so I guess that means I am full of 
:crap.
:     I do know what queef means. I don't consider my life to have 
:become any richer as a result of gaining this knowledge, so I 
:decided early on that anyone who didn't know before my 
:performance wouldn't learn from me.

Well, since ya came back, sorry fer sayin yer full of crepe.  
Crepes are good though.  You make 'em with a lot of eggs.
I'll take your word for it that you know what a queef is, but I 
don't know if I buy this explaination.  I can think of at least 
twelve points in my life at which this knowledge came in handy.  
Two of those times weren't even during no-shame skits.

Crazy week on the web, eh?  With all the biz about eggs and the 
lost order.  Yeesh.

Time: Wed, 06-Oct-1999 22:36:57 GMT     IP: 206.230.238.56

1) "I Could Have Just Put A Dead Squirrel in A Bag" by Brad Smith 
and Aaron Galbraith

11)"Smackdown" by Neil "Balls" Campbell  (featuring Balls, Kehry 
Lane, and Aaron Galbraith)

13) "Oscar Wilde, Eat Your Heart Out" by Mike Cassady.

I'm helpful!

Time: Thu, 07-Oct-1999 01:10:47 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.199


btw the title of my piece was "Love Poem" by Dubiou$ $exuality 
›lark

Time: Thu, 07-Oct-1999 03:40:06 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.107


:Just to make something clear...  I didn't realize what MTV had to 
:do with anything when I first read this.  After reading following 
:postings I realized that you must have thought this was a Tom 
:Green spinoff in some effect.
:    You are mistaken.  It is somewhat of a joke in our family to 
:embarass my father at every opportunity.  He had a clue as to 
:waht was going to happen because my mom spilled the beans before 
:hand.]
:    Additionally, I think that Tom Green is funny, but the idea 
:did not originate from watching him as you might like to assume. 
 
   Wasn't so much the idea.  I never said idea.  I said Schtick.  
Now I, personally, can't honestly say that I know the dictionary's 
definition of schtick, or that I own a dictionary... or books of 
any kind... or a schtick.  Hell, I can't even honestly say that I 
know how to read, but I can say that the whole time through it 
felt as though I was watching somebody do their impression of the 
wonderful Tom Green.
   Also, it was a good impersonation.  Also, it was funny.

   Also it was Tom Green.

Time: Thu, 07-Oct-1999 07:24:14 GMT     IP: 24.9.192.139

::
   Wasn't so much the idea.  I never said idea.  I said Schtick.  
:
Now I, personally, can't honestly say that I know the 
dictionary's 
:
definition of schtick, or that I own a dictionary... or books of 
:
any kind... or a schtick.  Hell, I can't even honestly say that I 
:
know how to read, but I can say that the whole time through it 
:
felt as though I was watching somebody do their impression of the 
:
wonderful Tom Green.
:Also, it was a good impersonation.  Also, it was funny.:
:Also it was Tom Green.

Mmmmm K

Time: Thu, 07-Oct-1999 14:13:33 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.154

:   Also, it was a good impersonation.  Also, it was funny.
:   Also it was Tom Green.

Ah, I see...  It's like one of those Time-Life psychic things.  In 
Cleveland, a man slips on a banana peel.  At that same moment, a 
young girl in DC chokes on an orange peel and spits it up.  But on 
that same day, at that same hour, TWO YEARS EARLIER, a young man 
chokes on a banana peel and spits it up while driving halfway 
between Cleveland and DC.  Clearly one or two of these people were 
copying the other two people or one person, depending.  But who 
copied who?

Hmmm..

Time: Thu, 07-Oct-1999 15:40:02 GMT     IP: 205.188.198.162

     A few weeks ago, after Stangl's "Judie Garland is Dead and 
Other Vicious Lies", one of my friends in the audience discounted 
the performance as merely a "rip-off of Dana Carvey". I disagreed 
with her.
     Someone could easily look at my Egg piece and analyze, "This 
is just like a Gallagher performance [remember Gallagher?], only 
it tries to be less crass and more meaningful." I would disagree.
     Watching Lane's piece, I'll admit that I was reminded of Tom 
Green. Was he stealing Green's schtick? I think not.
     I'm not going to say that we all haven't been influenced by 
other, more famous performers. We've paid attention to the people 
we grew up being entertained by and the people that we think are 
innovative today. We try to use their experiences, what works or 
doesn't work for them, as springboards for our own ideas.
     There is a danger and a temptation in using too much of 
someone else's ideas, (I defy you to find anyone who can do a 
George Bush impersonation without actually impersonating Dana 
Carvey's impersonation.) but I don't think that's the case here.
     I'm sure that Stangl wrote "Judie Garland. . . " thinking to 
himself, "All right, this is a piece about a crotchety old man 
telling unbelievable stories about his youth to younger people. 
How am I going to play it?" There are only so many ways to play 
crotchety old men. How much of an influence was Dana Carvey? It 
really doesn't matter. What's important is that Stangl gave us 
Stangl on stage, with whatever had contributed to his style 
figuring into the equation, not just Stangl impersonating someone 
else's style.
     Lane went on stage thinking, "I'm going to be totally 
uninhibited and do something totally embarrassing to my father." 
This might be the same mind set used by Tom Green, and Lane might 
have taken lessons from Green's successes and failures, but he was 
still giving us his own personal spin on a concept. He was giving 
us himself. If that reminds us of someone else, that

Time: Fri, 08-Oct-1999 00:13:02 GMT     IP: 205.188.192.189


:    
:
     Someone could easily look at my Egg piece and analyze, "This 
:
is just like a Gallagher performance [remember Gallagher?]               I do now. (Bastard.)

Time: Fri, 08-Oct-1999 04:21:56 GMT     IP: 24.9.192.139

Ah, I see...  It's like one of those Time-Life psychic things.  
In 
:
Cleveland, a man slips on a banana peel.  At that same moment, a 
:
young girl in DC chokes on an orange peel and spits it up.  But 
on 
:
that same day, at that same hour, TWO YEARS EARLIER, a young man 
:
chokes on a banana peel and spits it up while driving halfway 
:
between Cleveland and DC.  Clearly one or two of these people 
were 
:
copying the other two people or one person, depending.  But who 
:
copied who?
:

:
Hmmm..


He hehe hehe.. You kick ass.  Thank you.  Very eloquently put.. I 
just resigned to my self that I was dealing with a far superior 
intellect and that he actually knew the origins of my piece 
better than I did.
     God knows that I wouldn't have ANY clue as to where my idea 
(oops... I guess it's good ol Tom Green's idea) came from... I'm 
glad that Carl pointed out the error of my ways.

Time: Fri, 08-Oct-1999 08:45:49 GMT     IP: 152.204.167.194

     God knows that I wouldn't have ANY clue as to where my idea 
:
(oops... I guess it's good ol Tom Green's idea) came from... I'm 
:
glad that Carl pointed out the error of my ways.
:


   Well, then, you are very, very welcome and I'm glad that you 
can so graciously appreciate input that is not, "Oh, your piece 
was completely and absolutely wonderful in all regards... and did 
I mention the funniest piece I have ever seen?"
  So few people can actually do that and the fact that you can 
says worlds about your character.
   But I must once more reiterate, O Gracious subject of my 
constructive criticism, O person to whom I took time out of my 
life to give feedback to (and isn't that a part of what No Shame 
was started for) and more time out to correct any misconceptions 
that might have been had, and all because I felt a little guilty 
for getting No Shame quality entertainment for as little as $1 a 
week without giving anything back, must once more reiterate that 
your idea was never challenged.  I liked it.  I liked it already 
and, as instructive as you've admitted my posts to be, I never 
had anything didactic to say about your idea.
   It's your style, O new friend, (dare I say pupil?) your style 
that reminds me of the legendary performer, the master of 
masters.  There may be one or more reasons for this.  You may 
unwittingly love the man and so have adopted some of his 
mannerisms as your own... withoutevenknowingit...  You may 
unwittingly be an MTV personality, yourself... All I'm saying is 
that you just don't know what real jelly is until you've tried a 
hot pastrami sandwich.


         Carl 

Time: Fri, 08-Oct-1999 08:55:00 GMT     IP: 152.204.167.194

   I was intending to use that as the subject line for my last 
post.  Here, I correct that egregious error.

Time: Fri, 08-Oct-1999 17:36:15 GMT     IP: 205.160.208.51

you know, i havent read posts in the board room for awhile, and 
have no cue what youre all talking about.

but kehry...im on your side.

we'll fight it until the end.

incidentally...the egg man is a high quality nickname, and your 
should appreciate before you get named something worse, like 
"crazy ass phreak", or "uterus boy".

the choice is yours.

kehry, well have a meeting to discuss our next plan of action.

insincerely,

mike "unbearable" cassady

Time: Fri, 08-Oct-1999 18:30:04 GMT     IP: 128.255.60.117

Why You Are All So Wrong.

To address several issues raised by several persons, all of whom 
I disagree with to varying degrees:

1) Re: the second half of Lane's "We're Not Gay" and it's 
resemblance to Tom Green:
     I wish to propose that not only were Lane's intent and 
style severely different enough from Green's to be unique (the 
3-point system: a) Lane, unlike Green, actually worked within a 
sketch-comedy framework, even his "dance" piece containing a 
set-up/ punch-line and an actual scenario, where Green's brand of 
comedy rises more from unmotivated, non sequitur antisocial 
behavior; that is, there was a plot of sorts.  b) Green rarely 
choreographs his stunts as elaborately as Lane's synchronized 
dance, relying more on spontaneous reactions to shape his 
performance.  This is pretty plain in the totally different 
ends-of-spectrum that Lane and Green approach their 
assaults-on-innocents from, and Lane's performance style owes 
nothing important to Green. Green's idiosyncratic eye-ball 
fluttering, guttural whines, faux-epileptic fits, and "retard 
voice," his agrammatical hollering rants, and his twitchy spasms 
are absolutely nowhere to be found in Lane's on-stage persona. c) 
I think you're reacting more to Lane and Green both having 
similar facial configurations- narrow, longish face, long nose, 
goatee- than anything specific in "We're Not Gay."  As for 
stealing "ideas" vs. swiping "schtick," there's not a practical 
difference, except that schtick sounds more lowbrow, and in the 
variant you're implying really just means somebody's bag, their 
gimmick, whatever traits are heavily relied upon to create the 
standard-issue version of their Thing.  Tom Green's schtick [or 
"shtick" depending on how much you want to corrupt the Yiddish] 
consists mostly of harassing everyone for no good reason +- the 
mannerisms from above; my shtick is popularly defined as poops 
and pratfalls), but that Lane was likewise not even channeling/ 
reworking Green, as Eggman has suggested.  The only evidence *I* 
need is that Lane vehemently denies having ripped off Green in 
any capacity.  If "Carl" requires more, I will put forth the 
following:
a) Embarrassing your parents at No Shame is a long-standing 
ritual.  In recent times, you may recall Dan Brooks going full 
monty at Best Of last year, Aaron Galbraith's daddy-beat-me piece 
"They Gave Me Life, I Gave Them Strife", Mose Hayward doing an 
interpretive dance to Mr. River's "Fart-Fart Song" (in which Mose 
wipes his butt "until the paper's brown" and then licks it), all 
of which occurred in front of the performers' parents.
b) More importantly, Lane did essentially the same piece fairly 
recently, dancing to Yello with his ruby nipple-tassles, while 
his parents were in the audience.  The previous incarnation was 
longer and more elaborate, but without the added ante-upper of 
Pappy sitting on stage.
c) ALL OF THIS PREDATES THE AMERICAN DEBUT OF "THE TOM GREEN 
SHOW," or at least its widespread popularity.  Not that it 
matters.  Steve Allen was bothering innocent people for his 
audience's amusement well before that, and before that, Socrates.

2) RE: "Leggo My Eggo"-Hahn's thoughts about my performance of 
"Judy Garland is Dead".
I find this slightly more baffling.  Not only because I 
personally don't especially care for Dana Carvey, but because I 
see even less resemblance than in the above case.
     As Dan Brooks pointed out to me, if "Garland" was a 
flat-out thievery of anything, it is Brooks' "Young Jakob Schreck 
Gets His Inheritance" and "A Story About Girls," in both of which 
old men recount brutalization of dead Golden Age Hollywood stars. 
 Dana Carvey's "Grumpy Old Man" monologues on "Weekend Update" 
followed a very specific format which doesn't resemble my piece 
(except in the simple fact that the anecdotes become increasingly 
more grotesque and absurd, which is a basic build-on-your-gags 
law of comedy that can't really be violated, and a direct-address 
style, which I usually use anyway, certainly not unique to this 
piece).  I indeed played an old man+ICY- but not an especially angry 
or crotchety old man+ICY- and I did indeed squinch up my face and 
pull my glasses down, but my facial contortions were more 
fore-head-and-lip oriented, while Carvey's Old Man is essentially 
his Garth Algar face with squinted eyes and a different wig.  The 
voices are only superficially similar, Carvey going more for 
sustained high-pitch whine, while I was working with an entirely 
different set of language rhythms.  I also attempted a more 
Californian accent than Grumpy Old Man's slight Nor'east tinge -&- 
was trying for the expressiveness Alan Young brought to 
"crotchety old man" Scrooge McDuck on "DuckTales" (minus the 
Scottish brogue, natch).
More genuine rip-offs you might have noticed me committing this 
semester: "Broken Heart"'s pilfering of the gag structure of Max 
Cannon's comic strip "Red Meat"; my performance in Nick Clark's 
"Santa Claus Is A Prick," vocal inflections all swiped from Orson 
Welles, and Johnny Depp in "Ed Wood" (who was doing Mickey Rooney 
as Andy Hardy).  So there.
     Mr. Egg's "Egg" didn't owe jack-ruby-squat to Gallagher, 
except that he attempted to be insightful while smashing things, 
and has some scraggly facial hair.  I think that calling 
Gallagher "crass and [not] meaningful" is not a totally accurate 
reading of Gallagher, though, as his (poor excuse for) social 
commentary is more-or-less screamed during his routine.  Eggy's 
eggs aimed to be a more complicated metaphor than Gallagher's 
watermelons, which are more attention getting-device and 
diversionary tactic.  Different approaches, neither one 
inherently more "meaningful" than the other.

3) Some thoughts on influence:
     It seems pretty clear to me which of us grew up watching 
"Saturday Night Live" (Rothschild), who still belongs in the 
"Flying Circus" camp (Lawson), who's seen too much Marx Brothers 
(Hansen), who digs on "Kids In The Hall" (Stangl, Cassady), the 
Keaton fanboys (Brooks, Stangl), the Chaplin hangers-on (Greer). 
 There are likewise unacknowledged, probably unconscious debts, 
such as Greer's naturalistic non-gag approach to absurd 
monologues- her "Ranger's Tail" was 100% Jonathan Winters, the 
River/Stangl poop-gag institution which has reached Dada 
absurdist confrontationalist realms.  The point is that these 
things tend to manifest in far subtler ways than the kind of 
direct-reference/ personal-spin Egg-a is proposing.  That is, Al 
Angel isn't channeling Mamet just because he says "fuck" a lot, 
but more because his pieces revolve on an axis of aggressive, 
hostile male sexuality.  If I owe something to Carvey, it's less 
a specific character than a desire to delineate different 
characters with vocal and facial contortions.  I don't think J-Mo 
River has seen many Punch -&- Judy shows, but his sketches find 
their roots in the basic story structure.  Influence is where 
you're LEAST looking for it.  Point also being that Egg-hand is 
right Dan may say he's "Buster Fuckin' Keaton, yo!" but nobody'd 
take it at face-value, since we're obviously looking at more 
Brooks than Keaton.  Nobody can eat all fiddy eggs, but Hahn can 
smash 2 dozen and owe less to Gallagher than to Matt Sucarsky, 
knowing it, or not.

Time: Fri, 08-Oct-1999 18:50:04 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.2

:the egg man is a high quality nickname

I told you so, Egg Man.

And as for the now-heated "Kehry Lane is Tom Green" debate, I see 
practically no similarities between their comic stylings. Nor do 
I believe that Tom Green infiltrated Kehry's mind and body 
(without Mr. Lane even knowing it!) and is now seeping through 
his every word and mannerism. Kehry's skit would never have even 
made me think of Tom Green if their so-called similarities hadn't 
been pointed out to me. (No disrepsect intended to Mr. Green, who 
is unarguably the funniest man alive.) 

River 

Time: Fri, 08-Oct-1999 18:53:54 GMT     IP: 171.213.118.244

I'd like to take one final moment to thank all y'all for your heartfelt cooperation in reconstructing
the order from last weeks show, resulting in a remarkably comprehensive listing.  Perhaps
someday future anthropologists will learn the true identity of Mario's masturbating monkey semen
sketch, but in the meantime, (to quote Meatloaf:) 17 out of 18 ain't bad.  Woo woo!


...Jeff


http://www.noshame.org/ord99_fall#Oct01.99

Time: Fri, 08-Oct-1999 19:08:35 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.26

Reverend, your comments are way to insightful and informed to 
share this web space with the rest of us.  I request for the 
upkeep of the self esteem of everyone who posts here you no longer 
say anything meaningful on this website.  Also, I'm being sincere, 
so don't be offended.  Also, are you a real reverend?  I am.
$

Time: Fri, 08-Oct-1999 21:56:54 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.223

: are you a real reverend?

I am indeed, having been doubly ordained by two separate 
church's.  I am a minister of neopaganist UFO mind-control cult 
The Church of the SubGenius (my denomination of choice: 
http://www.subgenius.com ), as well as the tax-evasion basement 
outfit The Universal Life Church.

-Yours in Chris,
Rev. Dr. Chris L. Stangl-a Jr.

Time: Sat, 09-Oct-1999 00:14:27 GMT     IP: 24.9.192.139

:Why You Are All So Wrong.
:
Sorry for not reposting your entire beautiful post.  I'm 
speechless...  Your argument is absolute sound not to mention 
dazzling.  A thousand thanks are due to you.  You presentation of 
the Tom Green vs Me is seemless...  Wow!
     K. Anson Lane

Time: Sat, 09-Oct-1999 07:30:16 GMT     IP: 24.9.192.139

::the egg man is a high quality nickname
:

:
I told you so, Egg Man.
:

:
And as for the now-heated "Kehry Lane is Tom Green" debate, I see 
:
practically no similarities between their comic stylings. Nor do 
:
I believe that Tom Green infiltrated Kehry's mind and body 
:
(without Mr. Lane even knowing it!) and is now seeping through 
:
his every word and mannerism. Kehry's skit would never have even 
:
made me think of Tom Green if their so-called similarities hadn't 
:
been pointed out to me. (No disrepsect intended to Mr. Green, who 
:
is unarguably the funniest man alive.) 
:

:
River 

Sorry that I missed this when I was checking posts earlier.  You 
my good sir are a good man!  As is Mr. Stangl.  Thank you
     K.Anson Lane

Time: Sat, 09-Oct-1999 21:00:08 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.193

Good show, yis!

My favorites, in no order:

Neil's Kaiser piece.   Ooh, did I dig.  I'm still a cacklin' when 
I recall parts of this one.  Mike was so ultraKaiser, couldn't 
have picked a better person than someone dressed like that to 
play the part.  And Dan was hilarious as a cruel daddy.  I really 
loved the way he threw his head back to cackle when
Aaron so wittily called Neil a loser.  Goood, good stuff.

Aprille's wonderfully titled little ditty.  Tight stuff.  "But 
they make me write their papers for them...".  Aaron looked _so_ 
10 years old, yesss.
I won't go so far as to say that Aprille looks like a sorority 
wannabe mom, since she knows where I live and stuff, but she was 
great playing the role of
said dippy ma.

Chris's little kiddy monologue.  This man is kicking some ass 
this semester, no?  I think I liked this mono even better than 
the Wiz of Oz one he did earlier this semester.  They're both 
well into the Best Of category if you ask me, too bad he did both 
of them.  "So if you eat a popsicle, and like...imagine
that it's a guts of bug, 'cause guts of bug is green...."  So 
cute!
 
James; Jesse Jackson impression.  Talk about imagery, kiddies.  
In combination with the delivery, which none can fault.  Some 
gross Bengals fan, in a stadium, getting James from behind, 
pressing his forehead into the remains of a corn dog....and.  
Well, you know.  Coming unto James, and coming unto the small of
his back.  Ack!  Killer.

Jamal's "you lick butts if you won't play with Chris's nipples 
piece".  Audience involvement at its best, very possibly.  Well 
done, well done, yis.

Ben's song was really great.  That is some serious slide action, 
and he sings as well as anyone who gets up there to do songs.  
Nice to have him show up and do more.

Adam started off the night really well with a good Okiishi 
paragraph, and it set the tone for the evening.  So great when 
there's a clamor for shorter pieces...and it actually happens!  I 
believe there were more pieces tonight than last week, and yet 
the night was at least 15 minutes shorter.  Rock!

Honorable mentions:  The Jedi Mind trick in a bar piece, Al as 
the 5 year old sister, Al and Chris with the broken toilet/ Neil 
who wants to suck cock.
And I'm probably forgetting stuff, someone post ze order, yis!

-Ze Count

Time: Sat, 09-Oct-1999 21:27:05 GMT     IP: 24.9.192.139

Dearest Carl,
     You seem slightly more apologetic in this most recent post, 
but I think you still fail to see what offended about your 
original post.  Let me tell you a few things about myself first.
 1) I do appriciate constructive critiques of my work.  That is 
IF they are truly constructive, that is helpful with what read 
well, what didn't read well etc.  Anything that may help cut the 
fat out of future performances is great.
 2) I am usually not a sarcastic person towards others unless 
they are a friend that knows I am merely joking, or they are 
someone who has offended me.
 3) You must remember how postings on websites and e-mail 
messages are quite frequently taken wrongly because we are 
missing the tone of voice behind the words and the physicality of 
the person to recieve the entire message.  The web in that way is 
severely lacking in it's use as a communication tool.

     Now, with that in mind, reflect on what you said in your 
last posts.  The first post I read and I wasn't sure as to what 
MTV had to do with my piece until someone later in the postings 
mention that you were suggesting that I was copying Tom Green.  
This cause me to reply.  I felt it necessary to clear my name 
(I'll tell you in a moment exactly what I mean).  I was careful 
to suggest that your opinion was based merely on assumption about 
me and my creative orignins as a performer.  Being a person who 
does not know me, you have very little merit when you say that my 
piece was heavily influenced by Tom Green.  (Not to mention Rev. 
Stangl made a lengthy reply to refute this claim)  In your 
rebuttel to my rebuttel you ONCE AGAIN affirmed your belief by 
saying "And also, it was Tom Green".   The offensive word in that 
sentence is *WAS*.  You had suggested in your first message that 
I was a plagiarist.  In your second message you claimed that I 
was a plagiarist when you used the word "was".
     Do you understand now where I am coming from?  I hold no 
malice toward you as one person to another, but when a critic 
accuses me (in my eyes) of something that horrible, I take 
offense.  I refer you to #3 above.  Perhaps in your eyes you were 
NOT accusing me or anyone of plagiarizing, but it certainly came 
across that way.
     So hopefully you understand me a little better now.  By all 
means, continue to critique, but do not accuse anyone based on 
assumptions.
     Sincerely,
          K.Anson Lane 

Time: Sun, 10-Oct-1999 04:47:28 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.40

:I am indeed, having been doubly ordained by two separate 
:church's.  I am a minister of neopaganist UFO mind-control cult 
:The Church of the SubGenius (my denomination of choice: 
:http://www.subgenius.com ), as well as the tax-evasion basement 
:outfit The Universal Life Church.
:
:-Yours in Chris,
:Rev. Dr. Chris L. Stangl-a Jr.

Zound!  Precisely the organizations from which I draw my own 
ministerial authority.  What a shock.

How bout that no shame on friday, huh?  I felt like too many 
people were reacting to the anti-long piece hubbub and doing skits 
under 20 seconds which, while fun during a normal week of NS, are 
annoying when seen at a sitting.  I think the synergy of the night 
was weak as a result.  I thought my piece was excellent and 
brought the entire show together though.  I'm surprised no one has 
made any posts about it yet, 'cause I thought it was the best 
thing on any stage ever.  
     On a serious note, I actually appreciated the long 'Tarkovsky 
of No-Shame' piece with shoes off; who/whatever that was, I loved 
it.  I think the preponderance of shorties was the main culprit in 
my attraction to it.  Also, it took the risk of being artsy, which 
can be percieved as pretentious, which is something a lot of no 
shamers (myself front 'n' center) seem to avoid like that thing 
that killed people in the middle ages.  I'm glad he didn't (seem 
to) water down his piece.  The order hasn't been posted yet, but 
standouts were Kyle's piece, Rev. Stangl's, Jamal's, and the one I 
think was Jimmy-James' - the Hong-Kong Phooey one, though I could 
be mistaken on that authorial detail.  Whosever it was, it was 
mega-brilliant.
luv$exdrug$nroknrol,
Dubiou$ 

Time: Sun, 10-Oct-1999 08:26:22 GMT     IP: 205.188.198.189


  The order hasn't been posted yet, but 
:
standouts were Kyle's piece, Rev. Stangl's, Jamal's, and the one I 
:
think was Jimmy-James' - the Hong-Kong Phooey one, though I could 
:
be mistaken on that authorial detail.  Whosever it was, it was 
:
mega-brilliant.
:
    I believe the hong kong phooey skit was written by Brad Smith, though I could be mistaken.      
                                                                                                                                                       
            Mark J. Hansen          

Time: Sun, 10-Oct-1999 08:36:00 GMT     IP: 205.188.198.189



     It seems pretty clear to me which of us grew up watching 
:
"Saturday Night Live" (Rothschild), who still belongs in the 
:
"Flying Circus" camp (Lawson), who's seen too much Marx Brothers 
:
(Hansen), who digs on "Kids In The Hall" (Stangl, Cassady), the 
:
Keaton fanboys (Brooks, Stangl), the Chaplin hangers-on (Greer). 
                                                                                                              Y uo know, there's no
such thing as "too much Marx Brothers." I'd be the first to say that. In fact, I was. Why is mine
the only one with the negative tone to it? There's the "digging on Kids in the Hall," the "Keaton
fanboys," the "Flying Circus camp," but then we have "seen too much Marx Brothers?" Do I
sense a bias here? Or is it chicken gravy?                                                       (Too much Marx
Brothers, my left foot.)

Time: Sun, 10-Oct-1999 17:57:36 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.214



    I believe the hong kong phooey skit was written by Brad Smith

I believe it _was_ written by Brad Smith. I believe that. And I, 
for one, would like to nominate it for funniest piece in the 
entire history of everything. It was the greatest beauty mine 
eyes have yet to behold.

By the by the by the, I liked how all the pieces were short. Good 
for that, I say.

JAMALKAKS

Time: Mon, 11-Oct-1999 01:09:13 GMT     IP: 205.188.199.182

Yes, Reverend, you're pretty much right about everything.
Forgive me for displaying my ignorance, but who is Matt Sucarsky?

Time: Mon, 11-Oct-1999 03:24:14 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.11

The order, as posted by Dan on ISCA


The order, Boyos and Girlas:                                     
               
1) An Attempt to Do as Dan Brooks Suggested and "Cut All the Fat" 
Out of My     
Writing, Tossing Aside the Dead Weight, Jettisoning the Redundant 
Repetition,   
the Superfluous Sentence, the Extra Example, In Favor of a 
Leaner,              
Less-Gristled Monologue, As Performed by Adam Burton -- Thanks to 
Dan for the   
Inspiration and to My Mother for Her Love and Support. Peace. 
Out. by Chris     
"Succinct Is Now My Middle Name, Thanks to Dan" Okiishi 
(Editorial note: Chris  
is my friend. But fuck him.)                                     
               
2) Fose Fatfard vs A Dead Bee by Brad Smith                      
               
2.5) Die Wichtigeit Earnest Zusein by Mike Rothschild and Aaron 
Galbraith       
3) I Want to Be Just Like Dan "Danger" Brooks by Hazard Angel    
               
4) Hostile Word Association by Chris Sobbing and Kehry Lane      
               
4.5) A Song by Ben Schmidt                                       
               
5) If You're Gonna Steal, Steal from the Best: A Blatant Rip-Off 
of a Mike      
Rothschild Idea by John Hague                                    
               
6) Mose Hayward and the Talking Booger by Jamal River            
               
7) The Matchmaker by Kyle Lange                                  
               
8) Oedipus, Then Wipe Your Chin by Aprille Clarke                
               
9) German Chocolate Hate by Neil "Balls" Campbell                
               
10) Knotty Pines, Pt. II by Mark Hansen                          
               
10.5) Part I, by Dan Hall                                        
               
11) Tattoo by Greg Mitchell                                      
               
12) Get Down on Your Fucking Knees, You Miserable Wretches, For I 
Bring You     
Theatre by James Erwin                                           
               
13) The Pudding Sketch by Arlen Lawson                           
               
13.5) Wow, What a Coincidence; We Have So Much Not In Common by 
Sarah Greer     
14) The Shotgun Rules or a Fallopian Tuba Recital by Chris Stangl 
              
15) The Good Girls Never Leave by Bill Bungeroth                 
               
A damn fine show, if you ask me.                                 
               

Time: Mon, 11-Oct-1999 03:35:42 GMT     IP: 152.163.207.79

That's an exageration, but I did figure out how to read the last 
couple of weeks of postings.
I'll respond here, though I have no idea who commented on what:
My facial hair- I'm flattered that you could even see it from the 
audience. This is not a "goatee", this is just what happens when 
I don't shave my chin for a long period of time. (It's been two 
months and three days, and it's almost visible now.) It'll 
disappear the moment I get bored obsessing over it.
My piece last week- Once again, I'm sorry about the eggs. I will 
do my best to make sure that no one will ever have to mop up a 
stage after me again.
My piece the week before- I never intended for this to be an 
"Anti-No Shame" piece. It started as a rant about missing my 
girlfriend and adjusting to Iowa City life then mutated and took 
on a life of its own.
I like No Shame Theatre, and I have great respect and admiration 
for the writers/performers/board members who make it happen every 
week. If the $1 entry fee goes toward rent and scholarships, I 
really can't criticize. The piece was about my changing point of 
view and a few things that struck me as odd, not meant as offense 
to you beautiful, beautiful people.

On a totally unrelated note, how come practically no one else 
e-mails in their scripts to be posted? I keep wanting to read 
things over after seeing them perfor

Time: Mon, 11-Oct-1999 03:54:55 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.25

I don't post my scripts to the web because it's really freaking
easy for them to get plagiarized that way.  You can say "Copyright
1999 Sexy Heinie Productions" all you want, but that's not going
to stop some idiot from copying it and turning it in as his playwriting
assignment (or worse, trying to publish it without your permission).
Related to that is the fact that if you DO want to publish it,
having already "published" it on the web can cause a bit of a
sticky wicket.

And no, I don't want to see your sticky wicket.

As for Friday night, I thought it was pretty good.  The two obvious
standouts, as already mentioned, were the monologues by Chris and
James.  However, I am not entirely convinced that Chris really has a
sister named Cathy; I think he made her up and that bit about missing her birthday just so the
whole thing would seem all the sweeter and more out of character for him.  Even so, though, it
was still a great piece, and it shows off his adeptness and screwing around with the audience.  On
the other hand, maybe he does have a sister.  I invent paranoid theories like that.  For several
weeks last year I was convinced there was no actual person named "Jamal River," that he was a
composite created by those guys for their own amusement.  It turned out I was partially (though
only very partially) right, but still.  ok...chris's barb about dan's nose was tacky, but i must say the
second part was right on.  while the humiliating-the-ex-lover pieces have been funny, they're funny
in a mean way that made me uncomfortable, and I don't mean uncomfortable because they
challenged my notions of what theater is or anything.  And maybe dan didn't actually write them,
but we all know they wouldn!
't have happened without his ok.

Time: Mon, 11-Oct-1999 05:26:23 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.198

1st, I want to say how pleased I am that the Egg Man has adopted 
his nick name. Kudos to you, Egg Man. I don't think you'll 
regret it.

And yeah-huh Chris has a sister. And yeah-huh her name is Cathy. 
Or Cathie, or however it's spelled. I SEEN her! She doesn't 
think I'm FUNNY! So there. And also, my name is too Jamal River. 
Lotsa people go by their middles names! Michael Stipe's first 
name is John, by gosh! My 1st name is not John. Michael Stipe, 
Jamal River. It's all the same. We're the same. I am Michael 
Stipe. He thought me up.

-Jamal River

Time: Mon, 11-Oct-1999 18:13:53 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.27

:1st, I want to say how pleased I am that the Egg Man has adopted 
:his nick name. Kudos to you, Egg Man. I don't think you'll 
:regret it.
:And also, my name is too Jamal River. 
:Lotsa people go by their middles names! 

Of course the great mystery now is "What do the A. and M. in 
A.J.M. River stand for?  Tell us or we'll find a way of figgerin' 
it out for ourselves, AJM.

Time: Mon, 11-Oct-1999 18:19:38 GMT     IP: 128.255.109.5

I just want to say how much I enjoy No Shame every week, speaking 
as an audience member. I like everyone's pieces, especially Mike 
Rothchild. I think he's my favorite, but I like everyone

Jessica :-)

Time: Tue, 12-Oct-1999 05:09:57 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.25

:I just want to say how much I enjoy No Shame every week, speaking 
:
as an audience member. I like everyone's pieces, especially Mike 
:
Rothchild. I think he's my favorite, but I like everyone
:

:
Jessica :-)
:
Wow.  You're a girl, right?  Call Mike.  He likes girls.  I think

Time: Tue, 12-Oct-1999 17:23:05 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.218

::I just want to say how much I enjoy No Shame every week, 
speaking 
:
as an audience member. I like everyone's pieces, especially Mike 
:
Rothchild. I think he's my favorite, but I like everyone
:

:
Jessica :-)
:
Wow.  You're a girl, right?  Call Mike.  He likes girls.  I think

Hell, call *everyone* who likes girls.

Time: Tue, 12-Oct-1999 19:17:29 GMT     IP: 205.188.197.173

     From what little I've seen of his work and what little I've 
read of the online discussions, I would have to say that Mike 
Rothschild is on of the underglorified No Shame 
writers/performers. (I'm not saying this because I want him to 
call me if he's not interested in girls after all.) When I grow 
up, I want to write just like Mike Rothschild.
     In the meantime, I'm still writing like me, and I need two 
guys to play me in the piece I'm working on for Friday. Any 
volunteers for Fake Adam Hahn #1 and Fake Adam Hahn #2? E-mail me 
if you're interested, letting me know if you use your own 
computer and if it's a PC or Mac (this will determine how I 
format the script if I e-mail it to you) or if you live on campus 
(I might be able to talk to you like a real human being and give 
you a

Time: Tue, 12-Oct-1999 22:10:29 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.197


:What do the A. and M. in A.J.M. River stand for?

Ariel and Momar, I believe.  I believe this because I've seen his 
non-driver's IDentification card.

            Your Mother,
                Rev. Chris Stangl, funshine bear!!!

Time: Wed, 13-Oct-1999 02:25:45 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.29

: (I'm not saying this because I want him to 
:call me if he's not interested in girls after all.) When I grow 
:up, I want to write just like Mike Rothschild.

If I grow up, I want to write just like anyone who's not 
interested in girls after all.  Or interested in girls too.  Just 
don't call me.

Sincerely,
Dubiou$ $exuality Clark

Incidentally, I'm afraid Balls might be illustrating more in the 
way of a dubious sexuality than I am. Also, he's illustrating more 
in the way of balls than I am.  What a to-do.  A guy can't even 
pick a nerdy, mildly demeaning NS nickname for himself these days 
without feeling he's impinging on someone else's territory.

Time: Thu, 14-Oct-1999 00:47:09 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.108

Reviewing Henry.
A festive and fussy review
by saucy and sassy Chris Stangl.

There is nothing as invigorating as performing for a sold-out 
house.  It's more exciting that they're not there to see "you," 
or even a "show," but to see some mythic NO SHAME THEATER that 
will never live up to the rumors and legends. Don't believe the 
hype but bring the noise.  And two friends.

Announcements) Kyle in top form, even mugging on a few new faces 
I've not seen him do before.  Such excellent timing on his paper 
airplane throw that I hadn't even noticed it was being folded.  
Terrifying, lung-tightening moment when all realize Brooks has 
not written a piece this evening_ for the first time since 
October 23, 1998!  More like March 26, 1999, but prior to THAT a 
year, and that has more spooky synchronicity and I'm a showman. 
Tttpt.

1) Okiishi- "An Attempt to Do as Dan Brooks Suggested"
Self-parody is dangerous.  It counts on everybody, loving you, 
deep down, to pull itself through the muck.  Likewise I admire 
anyone who will sacrifice their 5-alloted weekly minutes for a 
40 second piece_ It's selfless and always pays off.  I could 
never do it (I have never attended No Shame and not performed, 
if that tells you anything).

2) Smith- "Fose Fatfard vs A Dead Bee"
One million dollar grant to Brad Smith for writing this 
beautiful piece of letter-perfect Dada.  Made far richer by such 
moments as horrified expressions on actors' faces when they 
realized what the script said, and (as J.River pointed out) Dan 
blurting "What the hell is he DOING?" when Galbraith mimed 
eating a cookie.  And Horak's genius take on what it looks like 
to "hit his farts into a glass of pee."  I will never stop 
laughing at this until I'm grey and molded.

2.5) Rothschild/ Galbraith "Die Wichtigeit Earnest Zusein"
I will also never stop laughing at that clever and inventive 
Mike Myers circa when I was in 7th grade.  How does he come up 
with those characters!?

3) Angel- "I Want to Be Just Like Dan `Danger' Brooks"
Al's pieces are usually a big gross Freudian mess, but this was 
exceptionally eyebrow raising.  Angel pulls out his cap gun 
again.  The overuse of this prop- a prop, I should add, rooted 
in masculine power displays and destructive, "conquering" 
discharges- for increasingly more personalized attacks, has a 
single-minded nihilism.  While Al usually leaves his characters 
(often among them a, er, character named "Al" or otherwise 
unnamed) stranded in a sea of anal (Al says "shit" for ever time 
I think the word "poop"; "AssMasters" magazine), Oedipal (excess 
of father-sacrifice imagery, nevermind that "Why I Don't Watch 
Porn" is because of mom's adult film career) and most obviously 
oral (duh) fixations and anxieties, the ruler of the day is 
usually Al's tendency towards pronounced castration anxiety 
gags.  "I Want To Be" most prominently featured my personal most-
disturbing-Angel-image of a symbolically severed penis being 
fellated, Balls Campbell so horrified by what lay on the other 
end that he abolished it to the black pit.  Angel's work upsets 
me sometimes.

4) Sobbing/ Lane "Hostile Word Association"
I'm not positive that Lane has presented more faux-"homoerotic" 
material than the average NS performer.  At least of his five-or-
so pieces I've seen, of his seven-or-so pieces.  Awkward social 
comment at the end unnecessary (have the confidence of your 
material or don't) and derivative of the chilling end of Brooks' 
"Language of Brutality," but minus the wit.  Sketch didn't ever 
progress past its premise_ revealed in the title_ but that said, 
Granny nipple jokes are always welcome, and the face-humping was 
genuinely inspired and hilarious.

4.5) Schmidt- "Thank God (for Babies)"
I can't help it.  I don't like funny songs, and I'm biased 
against them.  As much as I like a joke about pee coming out of 
a person and getting all over, I'm not so big on cute baby-pee 
jokes.  These are personal problems, but THAT said, songs are 
necessary to break the evening up. Catchy, technically skilled_ 
so is Brittany Spears, of course.

5) Hague- "If You're Gonna Steal, Steal from the Best: A Blatant 
Rip-Off  of a Mike 
Rothschild Idea"
I don't think "a Star Wars parody" exactly counts as "a Mike 
Rothschild Idea."  As a general rule of thumb, I find parodies 
pretty distasteful, but this was thankfully briefer than 
Rothschild's 12-minute "Phantom Major," so Hague wins the Star 
Wars parody pod-race-in-my-heart by virtue of brevity.

6) River- "Mose Hayward and the Talking Booger"
However much you all enjoyed this piece- which was probably a 
lot, since it was tight, every joke worked, and tricked all your 
asses into thinking Jamal was doing a serioso piece- I enjoyed 
it 200 times more, since I got felt-up repeated, during and 
after the sketch.

7) Lange- "The Matchmaker"
I like character monologues.  What bothers me is that they don't 
tend to be performed very theatrically, and few folks really 
work the space as it is.  Kyle writes for himself very well_ 
also very static, lately.  Unfortunate, since "Sorority Girl 
`Saves'"' best quality was extensive physical performance and 
space-and-lighting shtick.

8) Clarke- "Oedipus, Then Wipe Your Chin"
Usually sorority girls are obvious, painful targets, but, for 
most of the piece, Clarke actually hits above the belt, with 
more solid complaints- re: disposable concern-of-the-moment 
politics, requisite public service- than the usual Greeks Are 
Superficial And Stupid material.  The sketch's mid-point twist 
didn't entirely snap it in half, but was more in the service of 
No Shame dirty jokes and goofy Galbraith faces than the social 
satire of pt. A.  That is, funny (because I like Clarke's sex 
jokes and watching Aaron Galbraith), but disharmonious.

9) Campbell- "German Chocolate Hate"
Neil Campbell is just funnier than everybody, so that's why I 
don't try anymore.  He didn't give himself the meatiest parts in 
"German"- which I'll never, never understand- but he's a joy to 
watch as a reactive performer.  Also his parody technique 
("American Tail"; "Sixth Sense") is more oriented toward minor 
gags and springboards to larger ideas than the usual noxious go-
nowhere treadmill/ empty pop-culture reference.

10) Hansen- "Knotty Pines, Pt. II"
"Pines" is teaching everyone valuable lessons about the merits 
and drawbacks of epic multiple-installment pieces.  It's been 
wisely structured in faux-cliffhanger format- the only sort of 
serial storytelling happening anymore- that's neat, because it 
allows Hansen to do a 20 minute piece w/out violating any rules 
or audience patience_ but continuing narrative wads separated by 
7 days require 60 second reorientation sessions.  For every gem 
of a joke ("I like those odds!!") there are three that get 
swallowed up by NS-style spontaneous blocking ("Stand by 
Yormann") or destroyed because you can't expect NS actors to be 
prepared.  I personally find any passing reference to "Diff'rent 
Strokes" automatically uproarious, so if the ambitious plotting 
gets in the way of the gags here and there, so be it.  I know 
I'm not directing Hansen's pieces, but to all peripheral actors: 
More ENERGY for fuck's sake.  What's wrong with you?  You KNOW 
you're in a broad-side-of-the-barn farce, right (this happened 
with Mark's die-cut-perfect 10-Minute Fest "True Love," last 
semester)? Act like you're having fun!  Watch Brad, Sheila and 
Balls for pointers.  They're mucho funny, se¤or!

10.5) Hall- "Part I"
I trust "Part I" is a metaphor, and that there isn't, say, a 
Part II, right?  Maybe it's because I don't speak Russian.  And 
have a short-attention span.  And picked up the motifs on shoes, 
mud, the Resurrection, coincident dates, fires and fathers_ but 
so?  And: most NS performers need lessons in silence and lulls.  
Some just need to be louder.

11) Mitchell- "Tattoo"
Good goofy Greg-voice.  So-so Zeus.  Glad to see Mitchell at 
work again_ there's not much space to breathe after revealing 
t

Time: Thu, 14-Oct-1999 00:51:03 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.108

What's wrong with you?  You KNOW you're in a broad-side-of-the-
barn farce, right (this happened with Mark's die-cut-perfect 10-
Minute Fest "True Love," last semester)? Act like you're having 
fun!  Watch Brad, Sheila and Balls for pointers.  They're mucho 
funny, se¤or!

10.5) Hall- "Part I"
I trust "Part I" is a metaphor, and that there isn't, say, a Part 
II, right?  Maybe it's because I don't speak Russian.  And have a 
short-attention span.  And picked up the motifs on shoes, mud, 
the Resurrection, coincident dates, fires and fathers_ but so?  
And: most NS performers need lessons in silence and lulls.  Some 
just need to be louder.

11) Mitchell- "Tattoo"
Good goofy Greg-voice.  So-so Zeus.  Glad to see Mitchell at work 
again_ there's not much space to breathe after revealing that 
you're carrying Zeus' severed testes slung o'er your shoulder 
like a cotton-pickin' soldier, though.

12) Erwin- "I Bring You Theatre"
Slooooow wind-up from Erwin, and he blazes it across the plate. 
Unfortunate first-half. I'm not sure what Erwin was doing at the 
beginning. I presume some sort of Hitchcockian Set-Tone-Of-
Normalcy-To-Be-Disrupted-By-Ungodly-Acts, but whipping the 
audience into a frenzy doesn't set a tone for much other than 
frenzy.  So I presume some sort of Here-It-Comes,-Out-Of-Left-
Field structure, but something HAD to be coming, right?  Oh yes, 
yes, I forgot: fine character performance, already-rightly-
praised imagery and prose, which I will rightly praise again.  
Absolutely unforgettable gag-writing ("_and onto the small of my 
back!").  But that opening two minutes_.

13) Lawson- "The Pudding Sketch"
I would like to point out that any time someone spoke or MOVED in 
this piece, you all laughed.  Often even when no one was moving 
or speaking.  I want you to think about that, think about 
economy.  And think about Arlen Lawson's rump.

13.5) Greer- "Wow, What a Coincidence; We Have So Much Not In 
Common"
Greer's naturalistic performances- replete with scripted Ums and 
grammatical errors and half-sentences- always unnerve the 
audience.  I like that because the audience is never sure if 
she's forgetting her lines and they should be respectfully 
embarrassed and quiet or if she's In Character and they should 
laugh.  Hint: next time just laugh.  This piece was some creep-
ass shit, and reminds me there are endless ways to be spine-
jiggling.  In that way, it's a companion piece to Brooks' "Life" 
(you know- the Tooth Story), which aimed to be a squirmer through 
elegant brutality, while "In Common" gets all its chills through 
elegant awkwardness.

14) Stangl "The Shotgun Rules"
Blatant Lynda "Ernie Pook's Commeek" Barry rip-off.  I would like 
to point out that I was clearly using my script as a prop, not a 
prompter, and had the damn thing memorized, so I hope you all 
feel better.  Nacho Cheese Doritos probably not invented by July 
4, 1986.

15) Bungeroth- "The Good Girls Never Leave"
Surely someone is willing to point out that the electronic guitar 
was too loud to hear the vocals.  I could make out the lyrics 
with effort, but I sit in the front row.  It's nice to hear 
catchy pop songs at NS, because the only other person writing 
them is J. River.  This was a complex and lovely song, but I feel 
at an unfair disadvantage as a commentator because of sound mix 
problems.

Mediocre evening with jewels-within-pieces more than jewels-of-
pieces.  Also Jewel's "Pieces of You," which I nominate for ALL 
90 of the Decade's 90 Best Albums.

Poopla!
Rev. Chris Stangl, Tenderfart Bear.

Time: Thu, 14-Oct-1999 01:36:18 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.108

Maybe everybody but Jamal and me's too scared to say this, but 
fuck ISCA.  Okay?  That thing is fucking horrid.  ISCA would be 
horrid compared to itself.  But we have something else to 
compare it to, and that's www.noshame.org's gorgeous-hole Board 
Room.

1) ISCA'S ELITISM
ISCA is so old that it's an insular community, No Shame forum 
not an exception.  I shan't gripe about the clique-y feel of 
Forum 97, because that folksiness is kind of an asset.  More 
importantly, there's a TECHNOLOGICAL elitism to ISCA, which 
isn't present here on the `site.  It takes DAYS to get an ISCA 
account.  You have to fill out forms and prove yourself and past 
some Herculean 12 Trials of ISCA, all of which consist of 
proving you're not going to Flame anyone or Harass anyone or 
Hurt Any Feelings and then you clean a horse stable.  Then they 
give you LIMITED posting abilities.

2) ISCA'S REPULSIVENESS
ISCA's complicated and antiquated, it's ugly and clunky and I 
can't figure out how to use it, and for aesthetic reasons, don't 
even want to.  Just looking at the way it blocks text is 
obnoxious, while I can do a fast cut-n-paste from my Word 
Documents onto the Board. Anyone claiming that thing is anything 
vaguely resembling post-1989 ideas of "User Friendly" has just 
been using it long enough to "figure it out".  I don't WANT to 
figure it out, not when there's a A1 forum right here requiring 
no figuring.  If you're still not buying the elitist argument, 
please note that there is such a thing as an "ISCA Archive."  
Website board posts are deleted, presumably forever.

3) ISCA'S NERDINESS
It's nerdier.  Just by virtue of how long you have to spend in 
front of a computer to post to the `SCA as opposed to the point-
n-click joys of this frothy little delight.

4) WEBSITE AWESOME
The Website is like No Shame 24 hours a day, with everything 
ISCA has to offer, none of the drawbacks, plus pictures, 
scripts, audio, history, links, almonds, pictures of me, and how 
is that inferior?  It was just complained (on ISCA) that the 
"Next" button in the Board Room works only occasionally_ which 
apart from probably being a problem with individual persons' 
browser (ours works fine), it's a piffly complaint next to, oh, 
say, that it's nigh impossible to revise and rework your text in 
ISCA.

5) THEY CALL MY BUTT MARIAH
Internet nicknames are dumb.  You may notice that except for 
Carl The Audience Me(mber), who I just don't know, but who is 
presumably named Carl, most Board Room posts are made under Real 
Names. I know who Jamal River is.  I like him. I know who 
Aprille and Adam is.  They're swell kids. I know who Nick Clark 
is. I had sexual relations with him.  I know who Fanky Maloonaro 
is, too, but I don't call him Fanky.  I don't know what a 
Whitewolf or a Squabaaro is .  Who the hell is Chamba-Lo, and 
why can't she use her real goddamn name if she wants to tell me 
how much she hated my piece?  How else am I supposed to hunt you 
down and slug you? No disrespect to ISCA users_ who include 
nearly everyone who posts here.  Your ISCA just cuts one in my 
face.

The Only Good ISCA is a Dead ISCA,
Chris Stangl, champoot bear

Time: Thu, 14-Oct-1999 03:09:10 GMT     IP: 204.120.50.1

Speaking as the driving force behind first the abortive e-mail 
list and later the boardroom here, I also say, with joy in my 
heart, "Fuck ISCA, yo." No Shame's presence there dates back to 
the prehistoric past, which I was (viz. the archives) shamefully 
there for. I remain reluctant to completely sever NS's ties with 
ISCA, for the good lads there (and I use the term 'lads' in the 
'overwhelming majority of guys' sense, not the 'shorthand for guys 
and oh yeah, girls too' sense) 1) pour in lots of money that 
normal people spend on stuff like relationships and television to 
our coffers twice a year, and 2) serve as a useful reminder of our 
brutal past regardless of its intrinsic value, much like 
affirmative action or Archie Bunker reruns. 

That having been said, I dispute that the ISCA Archives serve as a 
tool of elitism. I would argue that, in fact, they serve a 
wonderful and elegant purpose, which is to archive ISCA posts.  We 
learn much about what No Shame was, about how people reacted to 
it, and about what people in the distant past of 1997 considered 
funny. Someday your grandkids will get down on their knees and 
thank Christ that those posts were archived. In 2050, people will 
write instantly-forgotten masters' theses about those posts. Plus, 
when some of us lose our scripts in the chaos surrounding moving/
breaking up/returning from jail, someone's half-ass review could 
jar our memory enough to reconstruct the entire script. As far as 
anyone would know, anyway. Christ knows some of my stuff could use 
some reconstructing.

So, there. Recap, ISCA bad, but worth remembering and worth 
keeping. 

James "18 users ahead of you in the queue" Erwin

ps- I freely admit that parting joke was technological ISCA 
elitism, but it was lame anyway, so let it go. 

Time: Thu, 14-Oct-1999 20:41:30 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.82


               
:9) German Chocolate Hate by Neil "Balls" Campbell               
 

   Please insert review of #8, changing every "Aprille" to a 
"Neil" and every "she" to "he."

               
:10) Knotty Pines, Pt. II by Mark Hansen                         
 

   Now, change evry "Neil" in the review of #9 to "Mark"  Also, 
add the following somewhere in there: 
   "Ages 4 and up.  I like those odds."  

   Also, this week's was better than last week's Knotty Pines.  I 
am still waiting for the pun that I laughed at when I first heard 
the title.

:               
:10.5) Part I, by Dan Hall                                       
 

  I am not cultured enough to have enjoyed this piece as 
thoroughly as I might have, were I cultured.  That was redundant 
on my part and I apologize.  His foreignspeak was interesting 
but, to me, would have been equally interesting had he been 
reciting the pledge of Foreignspeakian allegiance.
               
:11) Tattoo by Greg Mitchell                                     
 

   I thought the most funny part in this was when he handed the 
bag o' testicles back to Zeus apologetically and not so much 
every time he said the word testicles, which is cheating because 
it is a funny word.

               
:12) Get Down on Your Fucking Knees, You Miserable Wretches, For 
I 
:Bring You     
:Theatre by James Erwin                                          
 

   I have nothing insightful to add here.  And while I was not 
daunted by this ever obvious fact in the previous 14 reviews, I 
am here daunted.  I liked the piece, though, in case you were 
wondering and I liked the most memorable line. 
               
:13) The Pudding Sketch by Arlen Lawson                          
 

   It needs to be noted that, after reading the sketch, it was 
Mark who gave me the title.  And as much as I liked it at the 
time, I now regret that the title was not "The Pudding Sketch 
Plus Dan Brooks."  Also, it seemed that the audience believed 
that the funniest joke in the piece was that Al was a little 
girl, which was not my joke.  It was, in fact, Chris who 
suggested Al for the part.  Also, if Al does not cast me in his 
piece this week, I will be forced to do bad things to him.

               
:13.5) Wow, What a Coincidence; We Have So Much Not In Common by 
:Sarah Greer     

   I remember some of this sketch but not if I liked it

:14) The Shotgun Rules or a Fallopian Tuba Recital by Chris 
Stangl 

   Return to post #9.  Remove every Neil.  Replace with Chris.  
Realize that this is still a cheap gimmic on my part.  Accept my 
apology.  Add that I did like this piece a lot and saying that it 
was not his best is stupid and unnecessary, as the fact that I 
don't say "His best work" should be enough to convey that he has 
done better.

:              
:15) The Good Girls Never Leave by Bill Bungeroth                
 

   Same complaints as everybody else made.  Also, same opinion 
that it was a good song.

   Well, that's it.  That's all.  That's all I have to say.  If 
you're thinking that you ought to hate me, please remember that I 
said a lot of nice things, too.

                 Arlen     
               

Time: Thu, 14-Oct-1999 20:39:45 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.82

Ahem...

   So, here it is, my very first piece-by-piece review of a No 
Shame show.  Please note that I have always had opinions about No 
Shame pieces.  This isn't something new for me.  I've just been 
terribly afraid that people might hate me were I to share said 
opinions.
   Also note that it has been nearly a full week since the last 
show took place and a lot can happen in a week.  So, if I do say 
something that makes you think you ought to hate me, you can make 
yourself feel great by saying, "You know what?  He probably didn't 
hate my piece like he said he did repeatedly.  He was probably 
just confused, what with the fact that nearly a whole week has 
passed."

   So... Here we go, then.



:1) "An Attempt..."

   The title was the funny part.  But that goes without saying and 
makes me look like a twit for saying.  I didn't like 
"...truck-load of poorly decapitated beanie babies."  (The script 
is on the website if you'd like to see if you agree.)  I figure 
all that was required for the piece itself to follow the title and 
be funny was that it be a short monologue performed by Adam and it 
certainly followed through in that respect.

:2) Fose Fatfard vs A Dead Bee by Brad Smith                      

   I agree with everybody else about this piece.  It was certainly 
the best piece of the night, probably the best piece I have yet 
seen at No Shame, and potentially the best piece ever performed in 
the history of No Shame or the world.  Brad Smith is a genius.  I 
will repeat that.  Brad Smith is a genius.  I mean that.  Also, 
James Erwin was wonderful as Lieutenant Warf From Star Trek.


:2.5) Die Wichtigeit Earnest Zusein by Mike Rothschild and Aaron 
:Galbraith       

   This was, if I recall correctly, fun. I didn't do much 
laughing, but I certainly did some enjoying.  Somebody told me 
they thought Rothschild was very SNL influenced and, after 
analyzing this and the last piece he did, I have no choice but to 
completely agree.  Aaron, on the other hand, is just plain funny. 
 It was a tough break for them to follow history's greatest piece, 
though, and this probably explains why I did so much not laughing 
at them.


:3) I Want to Be Just Like Dan "Danger" Brooks by Hazard Angel    

   This piece was both fun and funny.  Also, it contained the 
second in-title Dan Brooks reference of the night and was only the 
fourth sketch.  I think every title should have a Dan Brooks 
reference.  Al seems to think I don't like his pieces, but I do.  
In fact, I liked this piece about as much as I was disgusted by 
the contents of the "Assmasters" magazine I accidentally caught a 
glimpse of before the show.  So that's a lot of liking.           
    

:4) Hostile Word Association by Chris Sobbing and Kehry Lane      

   I like some Kehry Lane.  I loved the Kehry Lane joke in "Fose 
Fatfard vs. A Dead Bee."  I wasn't incredibly fond of this sketch, 
but I was more than incredibly fond of a few of the jokes within. 
 I can't remember which of those jokes I liked or disliked, but if 
 he would post his script online, I would be able to tell him.  
Personally, I liked the little joke he made about the online 
discussion of whether or not he was Tom Green, but it was an 
inside joke for those who read these posts, so I must chastise.  
Also, it seems to have upset Carl, as he has not since posted 
here.   And that's a shame.  I thought he had some interesting 
things to say... especially the things about how I am such a 
wonderful person.
           
:4.5) A Song by Ben Schmidt                                       

   Loved the music.  Could give or take the lyrics.  Personally, I 
do not have or desire children and so was left out of all the 
inside jokes.  You are chastised. 
              
:5) If You're Gonna Steal, Steal from the Best: A Blatant Rip-Off 
:of a Mike      
:Rothschild Idea by John Hague                                    

   I liked this.  Other people I talked to didn't.  I liked it 
more the following day when I saw the commercial it was parodying. 
 One of the people who didn't like it said it was just an excuse 
to say, "poontang," but I disagree.  Of course, I did laugh when 
she said it.
   I did not like the title and for three reasons
1) It didn't seem to be a blatant rip-off of a Mike Rothschild 
Idea (I think Chris sais this a few posts back.)
2)I have issues with the idea that Mike Rothschild is "the Best." 
 Somebody here posted that Mike Rothschild is underrated.  I also 
have issues with that statement.  Please note that I do not have 
issues with Mike Rothschild.  I've liked a good percentage of the 
stuff he's done, but it seems to me that it is hit or miss with 
him.  While this really is the case with most No Shamers, myself 
included, he has before and continues occasionally to miss a lot 
harder than he hits, when he does miss.
   Oh, God, now he hates me.  And so do all his fans.  I knew I 
shouldn't have started this review.
3)If there is to be a reference to a No Shame Performer in the 
title of any sketch, then that performer ought to be Dan Brooks.  
I thought I'd mentioned that.  
               
:6) Mose Hayward and the Talking Booger by Jamal River            

   This was funny.  Of course Jamal is always funny.  That's what 
he does.  I liked how he tricked the audience at first.  I liked 
less how the audience felt the need to actually participate when 
he asked them to.  The punchline would have worked better if they 
hadn't.  I was reminded of one of the ten-minute plays last 
semester, the title of which I can't remember, and imagined how 
horrible it would have been if the audience had decided that they 
ought to answer the man's pleas for them to take action.
               
:7) The Matchmaker by Kyle Lange                                  

   I don't remember this piece well enough to make a post.  I 
remember Kyle onstage and that the first mention og forcing dogs 
to have sex was funny.

               
:8) Oedipus, Then Wipe Your Chin by Aprille Clarke                

   This I do remember.  And this I did like.  I did not like it as 
much as I liked other pieces what that Aprille did the writing of, 
but once again I've said what didn't need to be said, as she is 
absolutely hystericalarious.
               
:9) German Chocolate Hate by Neil "Balls" Campbell                

   Please insert review of #8, changing every "Aprille" to a 
"Neil" and every "she" to "he."

               
:10) Knotty Pines, Pt. II by Mark Hansen                          

   Now, change evry "Neil" in the review of #9 to "Mark"  Also, 
add the following somewhere in there: 
   "Ages 4 and up.  I like those odds."  

   Also, this week's was better than last week's Knotty Pines.  I 
am still waiting for the pun that I laughed at when I first heard 
the title.

:               
:10.5) Part I, by Dan Hall                                        

  I am not cultured enough to have enjoyed this piece as 
thoroughly as I might have, were I cultured.  That was redundant 
on my part and I apologize.  His foreignspeak was interesting but, 
to me, would have been equally interesting had he been reciting 
the pledge of Foreignspeakian allegiance.
               
:11) Tattoo by Greg Mitchell                                      

   I thought the most funny part in this was when he handed the 
bag o' testicles back to Zeus apologetically and not so much every 
time he said the word testicles, which is cheating because it is a 
funny word.

               
:12) Get Down on Your Fucking Knees, You Miserable Wretches, For I 
:Bring You     
:Theatre by James Erwin                                           

   I have nothing insightful to add here.  And while I was not 
daunted by this ever obvious fact in the previous 14 reviews, I am 
here daunted.  I liked the piece, though, in case you were 
wondering and I liked the most memorable line. 
               
:13) The Pudding Sketch by Arlen Lawson                           

Time: Thu, 14-Oct-1999 21:10:28 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.82

   Is Egg Man related to Rob Hahn?

Time: Thu, 14-Oct-1999 23:48:11 GMT     IP: 205.188.199.163

:::   Is Egg Man related to Rob Hahn?
:
:
:
:No
:

:

:
My mistake


'sokay, you're not the first person to ask. Hopefully I can clear 
up the confusion now once and for all.

Time: Fri, 15-Oct-1999 00:09:03 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.149

::::   Is Egg Man related to Rob Hahn?
:

No.  He is, in fact, the son (read: love child) of Cary J. Hahn, 
The Iowa Traveller and Jessica Hahn.  If he tells you otherwise, 
he is lying.  If he says he's not lying, that's his code-word for 
"kiss me," and you have to kiss him or he'll get so mad steam-
jets will shoot out his years.

           That charming stinker,
                       Rev. Chris Stangl!, Love-a-butt bear

Time: Thu, 14-Oct-1999 21:34:43 GMT     IP: 152.163.206.179

:   Is Egg Man related to Rob Hahn?

No

Time: Thu, 14-Oct-1999 22:05:25 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.82

::   Is Egg Man related to Rob Hahn?
:
:No


My mistake

Time: Fri, 15-Oct-1999 23:17:43 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.145

I'm totally keen on your review, Arlick. I don't agree with you 
on all counts, but I'm totally keen on your review, Arlick. It 
was a fun read. You should review EVERY show and you better or 
else! you! Fella! Yeah! Some things I remember diagreeing with 
were: 

-I DID feel it was one of Neil's best pieces. I mean, I like all 
the Neil pieces, but I thought this one was great! I lovey! And 
Mike as the Keiser was fantagood!

-I didn't mind the audience participation in my skit. I thought 
it was funny. But I was mostly pleased with tricking the audience 
into thinking I was being sincere for a minute, which you already 
mentioned.

I can't think what else you said, Fartlen. Oh well, your review 
was fab, I want to marry it. 

-Jasmals

Time: Sat, 16-Oct-1999 14:53:11 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.25

so i feel like an asshole for skipping the show just cause i didn't manage to get into the order.  I
could write a post longer than the reverend stangl's piece-by-piece reviews saying why i was so
frustrated, but I won't.  i felt the vibe that a lot of people had written really good stuff, but if you
tell me the show sucked i will be much more gratified.

Time: Sat, 16-Oct-1999 16:37:03 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.25

The show was decent.  i had a good time.  it was short, which was great; it started off a little
slow, but picked up toward the end and had some good stuff.  i was especially impressed by the
newcomer whose name i think is anwar unless i'm thinking of the president of Egypt.  maybe
they're both named that.  Anyway, it was the thing about not wanting to go to heaven.  it's very
rare that a first-timer does a good serious piece, and i liked his.  it was also good because he was
cute and nervous and i love that in a person.  i didn't really like kyle's piece so much--good idea,
but it didn't come together as well as that premise could have.  in the end, it was just trying to be
funny, which is exactly what almost all sketches do (including kyle's), so i guess i missed the
point.  hm...i liked dan's trans-am piece, especially the line about how when (oh god, what was his
name?  Jordan Roberts?  or is that from hemingway?  you know who i mean) zooms by in his
trans am and you can f!
eel it in your underwire.  good.
Also...hm...the juxtaposed supervillain/superconservative things--excellent use of props.  i also
would like to mention that i think mark hansen is the most underrated writer at No Shame,
because the reason his stuff often doesn't go over so well is because too smart for the audience. 
plus, as the rev. mentioned, "mark writes real jokes."  a lot of people can't handle that.  neil's
abortion one made me laugh aloud.  i hope jamal does his mad-libs for the kiddies tonight.  that'd
learn 'em.  chris made me itch for real.  i can't think of anything else just now.  bye.

Time: Sat, 16-Oct-1999 18:27:35 GMT     IP: 206.150.222.206

I just wanted to be the first one to say the Balls' piece was 
bar-none the greatest and funniest piece of the night.  In 48 
hours this will be a cliched thing to say, because its true and 
everyone will, so now you can all be jealous of me 'cause I'm a 
trend setter.
--Orgasmic Octopus

Time: Sat, 16-Oct-1999 20:30:55 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.223

I thought the show stank it up a fair ammount. Didn't laugh much.

But:
I liked Chris' monologue.

I liked Aprille's piece.

I liked the trying to get into heaven piece pretty well, 
especially for a serious piece.

I loved watching the Egg Man comb his hair with a razor for 3 
minutes.

I surely liked Neil's piece. Octopie mang: yes it was the 
funniest piece of the night, but Neil has the funniest piece of 
every night so this is not big news. Neil is the funniest man I 
have ever seen with my own two eyes. When he did his dance, I 
laughed till I was on the floor. Neil is preposterously funny.

The Naughty Pine sketch was my favorite of the series so far.

So anyway, I guess that's a fair ammount of stuff I liked, and 
there were a few others I liked OK, but overall I thought the 
show was lack luster and uninspired. (Got bored during the 
hiding a body sketch, got bored during the piece Willy always 
does about sexy waitresses, got grossed out during the piece Al 
always does where he says disgusting things into me ears.)

And yes, I really am doing a skit for 50 junior high kids 
tonight, but no I'm not doing the piece I did last night. 
Because I like my job and am hoping to keep it for awhile.

Nick, I think you picked a good night to miss. And having read 
your skit, it would have been funnier than most of the stuff I 
saw.

-River 

Time: Sun, 17-Oct-1999 02:30:51 GMT     IP: 205.188.199.169


  i also would like to mention that i think mark hansen is the most underrated writer at No Shame,
because the reason his stuff often doesn't go over so well is because too smart for the audience. 
plus, as the rev. mentioned, "mark writes real jokes."  a lot of people can't handle that. 
 
Maybe Mark should"dumb his jokes down" for us in the audience "too stupid" to get them. Face
it, they're not over our heads, they're just not funny. Mark is vastly overrated (in this reviewer's
opinion) and his sketches should be left out in the future to leave room for up-and-comers much
more imaginative than he, like  Arlen Lawson or Nick Clark. These "real jokes" he writes are are
a poor man's version of  The Marx Brothers, Woody Allen, and whatever else you can think of
(this whole Naughty Pines thing is just a cheap imitation of Rocky and Bullwinkle, I swear to
God.) Of course, this is just my opinion. 

Time: Sun, 17-Oct-1999 03:16:24 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.113

:Of course, this is just my opinion. 

Wow.  Harsh.  I've always preferred the constructive criticism 
approach myself.

Time: Sun, 17-Oct-1999 05:25:56 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.25

Actually, I never said the audience was "too stupid," so i'd appreciate if the impression were not
given that i said such a thing.  maybe i should rephrase anyway, though.  i had a playwriting class
with Mark Hansen and he always had us positively rolling around, hooting with laughter (the
rolling around part was actually unrelated, but that's another story).  I was just putting in my bit to
say that maybe No Shame isn't exactly the right forum for Mark's work.  It's cerebral stuff--maybe
in the same vein as Woody Allen/Rocky and Bullwinkle, but not a ripoff.  No Shame is generally
speaking not a place in which subtlety gets a lot of laughs.  Mark's stuff is absolutely hilarious
when it's well-timed, well-rehearsed, and well-directed.  Unfortunately, No Shame is not really
suited to the aforementioned criteria.  And, by the way, one writer's presence at No Shame in no
way results in another's absence; getting your stuff in is just about being in the lounge on time and
getting !
your script in the appropriate
board member's face.  Mark is my friend and I just wanted to give my opinion on how really well
his stuff can work.  No, he didn't make me write this, although that reminds me of a story...

Time: Sun, 17-Oct-1999 06:50:57 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.123

Mark Hansen is a beautiful person. I love him like a brother. And 
I for one think he is damn funny. I shudder to think of his 
tender little self reading those cruel words that were written 
about him. Mark, you're aces and don't let anybody tell you 
different! Yeah, buggy, you go! 

Mark doesn't load his skits with cursing and sex jokes like, 
well, every single other person at No Shame. He doesn't go for 
the cheap laughs. I admire him for it. Plus, he's cute as the 
dickens. And very clean. And that's all I have to say about that.

P.S. In case anybody's wondering, I did the Jr. High slumber 
party (Chris and I did a skit, then I was a DJ for 2 hours) and 
it was hell. Although Jr. High kids are shorter than I remember, 
they're just as asshole-ish as I remember.

MARK HANSEN 4 EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time: Sun, 17-Oct-1999 14:50:07 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.4

Whoever this heather person is, I don't like her.  Sure she called me an up and comer, but I call
myself that every morning in the shower.  Nevermind.  Anyhow, Mark Hansen is the writer whose
work I admire the most at No Shame, and telling him to make room for me is like telling Jack
Nicholson to make room for that younger actor who wishes he was Jack Nicholson.  That was a
lousy comparison in more than 200 ways.  How many can you count?  It would be like telling
Groucho to make room for Zeppo. Like telling the Ramones to make room for the Offspring.
Like telling sushi to make way for burritos.  like telling bats to make way for mice with hang
gliders.


I am mortified that I missed the best Knotty Notty Naughty Natty Pines so far.

Time: Sun, 17-Oct-1999 17:54:08 GMT     IP: 206.230.237.16

first of all i would like to say that mark hansen makes me pee 
my pants nearly everytime we meet.  i try to keep up with his 
genius wordplay but he always seems to be a good fifty steps 
ahead of me.  if some people dont appreciate this, well too bad 
for them.  i think the problem might be that some of these jokes 
arent thrown directly in your face and get missed by some 
audience members.  but thats just marks deadpan delivery that he 
shouldnt feel the need to change for anyone.  i know a lot of 
people missed the delicious pun when the anchorman Hank Yorman 
was told... "stand by, yorman".  yummy.  mark hansen is my hero 
and i will love him until the day i die.  that is all.

Time: Sun, 17-Oct-1999 22:45:51 GMT     IP: 206.230.238.25

I must jump in and defend Mark as well, because not only is he a 
funny, funny man, but he gave me my big break in the theatre 
department.  I was a nobody, a freshman, and out of nowhere he 
cast me in his brilliant ten-minute play.  And because of that, I 
got to get some valuable experience and make some friends, and 
now everybody loves me.  He is so great, that I hope he never 
dies, although he almost certainly will.  Mark Hansen, I salute 
you.

Time: Mon, 18-Oct-1999 01:30:43 GMT     IP: 205.188.198.158

I haven't been able to check ISCA this week.  Has the order been posted yet?


...Jeff

Time: Mon, 18-Oct-1999 02:30:11 GMT     IP: 24.9.192.139

:Maybe Mark should"dumb his jokes down" for us in the 
audience "too stupid" to get them. Face it, they're not over our 
heads, they're just not funny. Mark is vastly overrated (in this 
reviewer's opinion) and his sketches should be left out in the 
future to leave room for up-and-comers much more imaginative than 
he, like  Arlen Lawson or Nick Clark. These "real jokes" he 
writes are are a poor man's version of  The Marx Brothers, Woody 
Allen, and whatever else you can think of (this whole Naughty 
Pines thing is just a cheap imitation of Rocky and Bullwinkle, I 
swear to God.) Of course, this is just my opinion. 
-------
Whoa!  I don't think that Aprille was really intending to offend 
there.  I'm sorry, I but I have to agree with her.  Mark is 
underrated.  It's very smart, very funny (to me) and different 
(which is also good).  In some ways, I think that it may also be 
necessary to know Mark to fully appriciate his humor.
    As for me... I don't really see the Rocky and Bullwinkle 
thing, but I never watched it so...  That uh... Explains... that 
I guess.  Give Mark a chance...  He's actually very good.  I 
don't know if his "General Hospital" script is on this site, but 
if it is... Read it..  It's VERY clever, but very subtle.  I 
don't think the majority of the audience caught what he was 
actually doing.
     K.Anson Lane

Time: Mon, 18-Oct-1999 15:47:23 GMT     IP: 128.255.60.116

Hello all stupids:

My name is the President of the United States.  I want to tell 
you that Mark Hansen, supragenius and the man who invented the 
Head Start program and Einstein, will be my official successor.  
There as a vote by the country, and everyone voted for Mark 
Hansen.  He is the new president.  He is also the vice 
president, because, as God said, "If President Mark Hansen was 
ever shot in the head and his Mark Hansen brain and head-fluids 
ever spilled all on the front of his earth-tone button-up shirt, 
I wouldn't want any other president, ever."  Chris Stangl will 
be the First Lady, because he loves Mark Hansen so much that 
they became married five minutes later.

George Lucas told me that Mark Hansen will be replacing Jar-Joe 
Banks in the next "Star Wars" movie.

"Heather" has been mailed her court summons, and I promise you 
she will be put to death.  All of the nation is invited to 
attend her execution.

Love (and LOVE THAT MARK J. HANSEN!!!),
Your Friendly The President

Time: Mon, 18-Oct-1999 16:05:24 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.4

It warms my heart to see the poeple who read Heather's post voice
their undying devotion to the work of mr. Hansen.  I think everyone
would like to feel the same way: loved and appreciated and wanted.
!It's too bad that our expressions of admiration had to wait for
a one woman smear campaign to be mounted against him, but that's
the way things work in our society today.


:
when I said I thought everyone would like to feel that way, of
course I really meant me.  So I'll set the wheels in motion.

That Nick Clark is a prick and he eats his own poopcrust cause he didn't tweak chris' nipples and
he wasn't on stage for the last two weeks and i'm glad that he's making room for up and comers
like dan brooks.  if you see nick, remember how fun he is to spit at.  Also, i hope he dies first
cause everyone else's life is more important.  Go kick nick until he is inside out and you see
remnants of food he ate last week on your shoes because he's so dumb and he wastes everybody's
time by existing. But that's only my opinion.

Time: Mon, 18-Oct-1999 20:21:28 GMT     IP: 171.213.101.143

Need help reconstructing the order from last week.  Here's the clues so far.  Anything you can add
would be helpful...

o    Anwar ??? - (the thing about not wanting to go to heaven)
o    Kyle Lange - ???
o    Dan Brooks - (trans-am piece)
o    ??? ??? - (the juxtaposed supervillain/superconservative things)
o    Mark Hansen - "Knotty Pines, Part III" (???)
o    Neil Campbell - (Neil's abortion one)
o    Jamal River - (mad-libs)
o    Chris ??? - (the piece that made Aprille itch)
o    Adam Hahn - "Shorn, A Fragmented Di-Monologue"
o    Aprille Clarke - ???
o    ??? ??? - (the hiding a body sketch)
o    Willie Barbour - (the piece Willy always does about sex waitresses)
o    Al Angel - (the piece Al always does where he says disgusting things into me ears.)

Time: Mon, 18-Oct-1999 20:51:30 GMT     IP: 205.188.200.44

Wow! I really am liked here, huh? That rocks! If you don't know what that feels like, here you go:
You guys are the best! Aprille, you're a genius of sexual comedy with that intellectual twist,
Aaron, your knowledge of all that is funny and obscurest movie quotes puts me and my Carpool
data to shame, Reverend Stangl, your character monologues and hilarious skits continue in
mounting succession to impress me further and further. Jamal, the fabbest funny
guy/musician/librarian I know. And Neil, if you aren't aware yet, you ARE the undisputed king of
No Shame. That's what it means when the audience is laughing so hard they can't breathe at
absolutely anything you do. And by the way, you all rock, if I didn't mention it.
As to Heather, her complaint really wasn't backed by any hard evidence, and she really hasn't
backed herself up, so let me be the first to say, screw her. But not really the first.
Also, the order: Mine was 11, Knotty Pines, Part 3, I followed Neil's skit, I think, but maybe not
that James's's's was next called Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight. I also know that Jamal started the
evening, Kyle followed, then I think Willie, and Justin 4th with How to Hide a Body. Al closed
the night, but I don't know the name of his frat boy piece. That's all I can think of right now. I
could name a couple that didn't get in the show, though.

Time: Mon, 18-Oct-1999 21:00:54 GMT     IP: 205.188.200.44


I almost forgot Nick Clark. Well, what can I say? I loved the Bear Smegma skit (how many times
do you get to say that?) and I think a only slight audience reaction was my fault, cuz I didn't
prepare or anything. Like maybe read it or something. That poem, Here Comes the Love? How
much did that rock? And what a killer ensemble! I heard his piece was great last friday and didn't
get in. Hey, up and comer, take my spot if you want. 

Just kidding, actually. I want that spot, so no deal. but, i hope you do get in. 

Isn't it fun when we pat each other on the back? We should just have a compliment fest some
night. "Your piece? That was so good!" "But not half as good as yours." "Oh, stop, you
exaggerate." "Seriously, though." 

Time: Mon, 18-Oct-1999 22:08:55 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.133

I agree, Mark. No Shame needs a love fest.

As for the order, Mr. Jeff, I know for a fact that my piece was 
called "Mose Hayward Is An Immature Ass." As for everything 
else, it escapes me. The itch piece was Stangl's and was called 
something like "Involuntary Response To A Cold Speculum." That 
might not be exactly what it was called. I'm sure he'll tell you.

-River

Time: Mon, 18-Oct-1999 22:55:03 GMT     IP: 152.163.204.207

My scribbled, abbreviated version of the order:
1) Mosse Hayward etc. by Jamal River
2) (unknown title) Kyle Lange
3) How to Hide a Body by Justin Ross (Rose?)
4) Tables During. . . (there was more to this title) by Willie 
Barbour
5) Super Villain (Institute?) by Brooks Peck
6) Thanks (shortened title?) by Anwar
7) Travis something-or-other Trans-Am (title nowhere near 
complete) by Dan Brooks
8) Super Conservative (Institute?) by Smick (did I mispell this? 
is it his first or last name?)
9) Is the Plural of Gandhi "Gondola"? by Aprille Clarke
10) Fetal Follies by Neil "Balls" Campbell
11) Knotty Pines III by Mark Hansen
12) Fight, Fight, Fight, Fight, Fight by James Erwin
13) Shorn. . . by Yours Truly, the newly egg-headed Egg Man
14) Involuntary Reflex. . . Cold Speculum (paraphrasing) by Chris 
Stangl
15) How to Be Cool (Was there more to this: Just Like Me? or Just 
Like Dan Brooks?) by Al (nice guy who gave me a ride) 

Time: Mon, 18-Oct-1999 23:15:24 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.229

   Hi.  My name is Arlen.
   My name is Arlen Lawson
   Concerning the order, I know that my piece was called "Karat 
and Spoke Play Tag... My Ass.  Also, 'Tag a Bit Harder, There, 
Would You, Spoke?'"
   And that's all I can help you with, there.
   After reading Heather's post, I vomited for the first time in 
nearly a decade.  I had been pushing for a record of sorts and I 
now blame Heather for foiling my attempt.  
   I have often heard that there is a lot of filth on the 
internet, often heard that there are literally metric tons of 
sewerage(literally, mind you) floating just a button click away, 
that one can be tricked into those sites and remain there for 
hours (against one's will, I'm also told) but I did not believe a 
word of it until today.  (True, I have been known to frequent a 
website that specializes in photographs and realvideo of 
infantile foreskin floating in metric tons of sewerage, but 
that's different.  That's art.)  Today, I am shocked that this 
kind of garbage can be posted without legal action being taken. 
   In short, there was a time when I opposed censorship, but this 
time the line of decency, the line of good taste has clearly been 
crossed.  Too far.
   Thus, I am never coming online again.  Except to check my 
Email.  And this website, where, admittedly, the offense did 
happen.  And I like to chat every once and awhile.  And to browse 
porn.  And, of course, I will continue to visit the "Foreskin and 
Feces of Four-Day-Olds" web site, because, like I said, that's 
art.  But, you can be sure, I will never use the internet to 
research again.  That's for sure.
   Also, because it is obvious that Heather was making some 
attempt to get into either Nick's pants or mine, I think it only 
fair to let her know that I hate her.  That's right, Heather, I 
hate you, and you can just take your eyes off of MY pants.
   ...because I hate you.  For attacking Mark the lovable Hansen 
with such venom and for making me vomit...  but mostly the vomit.

Time: Mon, 18-Oct-1999 23:42:47 GMT     IP: 205.188.198.46

     Al has a last name, it's Angel. That was supposed to be 
included in my last post, but it was clipped.
It always does that to me.

     You know, this Heather girl might have been wrong, but I'm 
starting to feel kind of sorry for her. Can No Shame find it in 
our collective heart to forgive?

Time: Tue, 19-Oct-1999 01:09:39 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.25

:     Al has a last name, it's Angel. That was supposed to be 
:
included in my last post, but it was clipped.
:
It always does that to me.
:

:
     You know, this Heather girl might have been wrong, but I'm 
:
starting to feel kind of sorry for her. Can No Shame find it in 
:
our collective heart to forgive?
Oh, you just like her now that you think she's going to do it with you.

Time: Tue, 19-Oct-1999 05:02:10 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.202

I know I'm late to hop in here, but I hadn't been online in a 
while and well, I have to say a thing or several on the subject.

Firstly, as Adam B. briefly pointed out, those who criticize in a 
 non-constructive fashion need help.  Go get some exercise, or 
punch a wall and bloody your knuckles, or listen to Rage Against 
the Machine or something.  If you're only interested in 
criticizing to make someone feel bad, rot.  Rot, fuckpiece, rot.

Secondly, criticism is very much appreciated by most any 
self-respecting performer.  I love it when people criticize my 
stuff - shows they thought about it.  But not if and when the 
entire basis of their critique is "It wasn't funny.  Get offstage 
and make room for my favorite performers".  
 
Thirdly, I challenge "Heather" to do something more useful with 
his/herself than posting on a chat board behind the veil of 
anonymity:  Perform, show us/Mark how it needs to be done.  No 
Shame could use more female performers anyhoo (if you are in fact 
said gender).  
 
And Lastly - That which don't kill him VILL ONLY MAKE HEEM 
STRONGER, YAH.  You think you makin' my man feel bad?  Mark 
Hansen is now probably sixty feet tall and built like A BRICK 
SHITHOUSE, YA HEAR ME??? Thaaaat's right, next week there's a 
gonna be Knotty Pines part 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 through 18.  And 
nothing else.  Just because of your thoughtless, acidic, idiotic, 
sadistic 
piece-of-horseshit-written-by-a-three-year-old-with-a-brain-tumor
-who-listens-to-Whitney-Houston-and-likes-it drivel.

-G Man

Time: Tue, 19-Oct-1999 06:16:43 GMT     IP: 24.9.192.139


OOps... THe first message was a bit of a goof, but here goes.

At first I was a little pissed, but still level headed about 
Heather's comments.  Then I felt bad for her...  Then I 
realized "Hey, she's knocking Mark! That bitch!"

All hostility aside, I think the main issue raised here (and 
somewhat previously by the whole "Carl" thing) is CONSTRUCTIVE 
criticism... And Heather wanting into Arlen's shorts...

Perhaps if she said something like, "Mark's piece didn't really 
appeal to me and my distinct tastes.  He's probably a swell guy, 
but I'm not a fan.  Arlen on the other hand is keen!  He makes my 
cardiac, pyloric, and rectal sphincters tingle!"
     As you can see, that is somewhat more constructive, and 
would definately increase the likelyhood that she may actual 
attain her personal Utopia and win a place in Arlen's heart and 
evening wear.  Alas she has failed.
     Don't be discourage Heather, you can still be a valuable 
part of the creative "No Shame" process.  You can add to the 
development of the experience.  Just stop being a twat (I 
apologize for those of you who dislike that word, I felt it 
necessary though) and making hateful, useless remarks in regards 
to a performers work.
             K.Anson Lane

Time: Tue, 19-Oct-1999 08:36:22 GMT     IP: 171.218.162.7

...and if she was here right now, I'd take her to the Springsteen concert.  But as it stands, I shall
have to find someone else.  :::sigh:::

I'd like to encourage y'all to cut poor Heather some slack.  Certainly, if the objective is to stifle all
but the most fawning criticism, this is the way to go about it, and Godspeed, and feel free to
ignore the rest of this post.

But, personally, one of the things that I think is exciting about this forum is precisely the
opportunity for the kind of feedback you don't necessarily get from your friends over a beer after
the show. 

Certainly Heather's critique may have been a tad harsh.  But just a tad.  I mean, she didn't
sentence Mark to death, call him a twat, or say that his work was filth and it makes her vomit. 
Yet *somebody* here seems to think those are appropriate literary criticisms.

"Constructive" criticism is probably the ideal, as Fanky suggests.  But then he follows it with
"Rot, fuckpiece, rot."  Yah, that bit of constructiveness is SURE to improve Heather's future
reviews.

Let's face it, we're all amateurs here, so probably nobody's got the critical chops to be throwin'
stones.  But this isn't really about Heather's critical technique, it's about: Heather has an opinion
that some disagree with.  Now, you can refute her opinions point by point, you can rebut them by
offering your own contrupuntal opinion of Mark works, or you can call her a twat, tell her you
hate her, and ask her to fuck off.

But myself, I think y'all should be *grateful* that maybe you've gained a harsh new critic who's
not afraid to surf into the lion's den and give you the straight poop.  I just hope that the treatment
she received this week didn't make her vomit and never want to come back again.

After all, differences of opinion can be a darned good thing.  Mark probably never woulda
knowed half what you thought of him, if it wasn't for Heather.

I'd like to offer my own interpretation of Heather's review.  I think her opinion's gotten short
shrift, because some folks didn't like her tone.  But once you put that aside, I think, as Aprille
mentions, she and Heather are saying essentially the same thing: that perhaps the No Shame
audience is not the ideal audience for Mark's work.  Aprille, however, feels that an artist should
not be daunted by this aesthetic conflict, whereas Heather suggests that an artist should be
responsive to the tastes of the audience.

Also, though a couple folks criticized Heather's remarks for being baseless and unspecific, I think
she makes the fairly clear implication that Knotty Pines is derivative of Rocky and Bullwinkle. 
Whether you agree or not, that's certainly a legitimate criticism, and provides plenty of grounds
for discussion.

One last thing, I notice that while Heather's comments are pretty unflinching, she does affirm, not
once, but twice that this is just her opinion.  I didn't see any mitigating disclaimers from the folks
who called her a twat and a fuckpiece.

Sincerely,

...Jeff

Time: Tue, 19-Oct-1999 14:25:46 GMT     IP: 24.9.192.139


Sincerely,
:

:
...Jeff

First, just to clear my name a little here...  I guess I should 
have said "Stop acting as if you were a twat..."  I really didn't 
mean to come off quite so harshly.

Second, I agree with your whole argument about constructive 
criticism, BUT I do believe she deserves (to some degree) the 
crap she has recieved for her comments.  There was little that 
was of any constructive redeeming quality about her post.  She 
basically said "Marks sucks, he should leave cause I think he 
sucks.  I love etc etc etc"  If it were a truely constuctive 
commentary about Mark's work (Key word being "constructive") then 
I really don't think that anyone would have been that up in 
arms.  The Rev. Stangl reviews many shows, stating his likes, 
dislikes, and his reasons.  He doesn't catch hell from anyone 
because of it!  I don't think that is because he's a regular, or 
that everyone likes him, but because his commentary is 
intelligent and conveyed well.
     Those wishing to be a part of the process should be a little 
more tactful about the way they approach their critiques.  If 
they just post crap, they are going to get that thrown back in 
their face.
 
So there is my two bits (and I didn't call anyone a twat even!)
     K.Anson Lane 

Time: Tue, 19-Oct-1999 15:46:28 GMT     IP: 205.188.192.167

Right on, Jeff!
     I would like to go on record right now as saying that Jeff 
Goode just might be the coolest human being on the face of the 
Earth.
     Not only does he put in countless hours as a webmaster for 
all of us ungrateful punks, not only does often piece together the 
order from fragments, not only is he a damn good writer, ("The 
Reindeer Monologues" were freakin' brilliant; I can forgive him 
for working for MTV) but when he lowers himself to post amongst us 
mortals, he speaks pure truth.
Also, his posts are somehow twice as wide as mine. I don't know 
how he does th

Time: Tue, 19-Oct-1999 16:15:43 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.2

I, too, agree with Mr. Jeff all the way. I mean, at 1st the 
resposes to Heather were civil enough, but they built upon each 
other until it just became us kids in the No Shame club smearing 
an outsider whose opinion we disagreed with. Yes, I love Mark, 
obviously a great many people do. But I think the posts became 
less about liking Mark and more about hating Heather. And though 
I do think her post was written too harshly, she DID give her 
opinion, and she even explained WHY it was her opinion. So, I 
guess alls I can say is: you're all fucks! All I like is Mark and 
Heather! You all eat poo-poo! It tastes good to you! Mark + 
Heather 4 ever! The greatest brother sister team in history! Kiss 
my ass, you miserable hacks! Your pieces stink and your faces are 
poor to look at! Heather and Mark! Yah! Too funny, and too fun!

-River  

Time: Tue, 19-Oct-1999 17:26:38 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.25

I guess alls I can say is: you're all fucks! All I like is Mark and : Heather! You all eat poo-poo! It
tastes good to you! Kiss my ass, you miserable hacks! Your pieces stink and your faces are : poor
to look at! -River                           Hey, I really like everyone.  I love everyone's work so don't
say it sucks.  I love everyone cause they're brilliant and insightful and funny in ways that jamal will
never be able to understand.  Fuck jamal for saying everybody sucks.  Everybody is my friend. 
don't talk about everybody that way, twat.

Time: Tue, 19-Oct-1999 22:37:51 GMT     IP: 206.150.222.233

Here is the truth, and there can be no debate on this.  Everyone, 
EVERYONE, here is a fucking annoying piece of shit save for Mark 
and Heather.  Why?  Neither of them had any real place in this 
smear-fest.  This subject is stupid and old.  We all agree that we 
all love Mark.  Some of us agreed with Heather; most of us 
didn't.  Fine.  That is where we stand and we can go no further 
with this discussion.  Can we move on now?  
--God

Time: Tue, 19-Oct-1999 23:04:32 GMT     IP: 128.255.108.255

Thank you for calling me a fucking annoying piece of shit and then 
telling me I couldn't say anything about it, God.  I was just 
about to say that, though my statement that I didn't like Heather 
was far weaker than many of the negative things said about her, I 
wanted to apologize for having said it.  All I know about her is 
that she feels Mark's sense of humor is cheap and derivative and 
because that is all I know about her, I equate liking her with 
disliking Mark's sense of humor - which is plainly wrong and 
deserving of an apology.  But, because someone named God posted 
and told me I could no longer discuss the issue, I won't attempt 
to do so. Now, I feel that God deserves a similar barrage of 
smears for the rudeness of His post, but I am similarly sick and 
tired of the smearing.  Jeff was justified in telling people to 
pipe down, and things could have done so in a natural fashion, but 
God wished to exercise His divine influence and speed up the 
process, which, in my opinion, was neither justified, nor helpful, 
adittionally falling into the category of the very thing Jeff 
criticized in his post.

Time: Wed, 20-Oct-1999 00:35:42 GMT     IP: 152.175.163.119

Dear God,

If you are good, then why is there evil in the world?


...Jeff

Time: Wed, 20-Oct-1999 00:36:41 GMT     IP: 152.175.163.119

Aprille brought up some good points about copyrighting and the weblibrary, that I thought I
would address.  This will be in two parts.  This part is called "COPYRIGHTING"

Under current copyright law, an author's work is copyrighted from the moment of its creation. 
This means that as soon as you right something down, and put "copyright 1999" at the top, it is
yours free and clear and it's legally binding.

So what's the deal with the "registering" copyrights and the library of congress and such?

Well, in general, people don't try to steal copyrighted material quite as much as we fear.  So in
general, just writing "copyright 1999" on a piece of paper is all you really need.  However, if
someone DOES steal your poem and release it as a hit record  (Damn you, Alanis Morisette!)
then you have to take them to court, where you will be asked to *prove* that you own the
copyright to the work in question.  In that case, a piece of paper with "copyright 1999" on it
doesn't prove anything.  "How do we know you didn't just do that this morning?"  You need
corroboration.

The easiest way to prove you own the copyright is to Register the copyright with the Library of
Congress.  It costs 20 bucks, and they give you a little certificate, and then if you ever have to go
to court, you just walk in and slap down your certificate and case closed, because the US
Government is vouching for you.

Of course, that's not the only way to prove your copyright.  You can bring other witnesses to
corroborate your story and authenticate the date of authorship.  In the theatre this is fairly easy,
because if you do any kind of public performance at all, you immediately have a roomful of
potential witnesses who could verify that the script was written on or before a certain date.  In the
case of No Shame, you automatically have up to 144 possible witnesses, plus a No Shame board
full of slightly-less-drunk witnesses, not to mention myself (in most cases) who can confirm the
exact date when a piece was first performed.

So proving ownership of a No Shame piece in a court of law would, in most cases, be a pretty
simple matter.  It is extremely doubtful that anyone would be able to make money off something
your wrote for No Shame (which is really the only purpose of the copyright: to protect an author's
ability to make a profit from his/her writing)

Now, the bad new is, most American's (and world-peoples) don't actually have any real
knowledge or particular interest in current copyright law.  Especially internet peoples where
articles and jokes are frequently copied and circulated without appropriate permission from the
author.  Despite the fact that this is unquestionably illegal, little is being done about it, because A)
it's so easy to do and so hard to prevent, and B) there's seldom any money involved so it's not
worth anyone's time to take costly preventative measures.

...Jeff

Time: Wed, 20-Oct-1999 00:38:36 GMT     IP: 152.175.163.119

PROS AND CONS OF WEB PUBLISHING

As Aprille has mentioned, there are quite a few denizens of cyberspace who will merrily pirate
your work without a second thought.  So this is a very legitimate concern.

It's my opinion, though, that the danger of being pirated is ultimately pretty minor, not because it's
unlikely, but because it's inconsequential.  You see, in the theatre, there is very little danger of a
pirated script getting very far, because no significant theatre company would intentionally allow
themselves to produce a play without the appropriate author's consent.  The Goodman in
Chicago, the Public in New York, the Taper in L.A. have all been built upon new works.  If one
of them were to knowingly pirate a script, they would be fucked.  Because no playwright of note
or playwriting organization would ever work with them again.  Samuel French, Dramatists
Publishing - all the companies that make their living off copyrighted material - would shut them
down.  For the privelege of pirating one script, they would lose their whole season.  That's why all
major theatres are very careful about verifying that works were submitted by the copyright holder. 
Similarly no University!
 would be able to risk pirating a play.  So who does that leave?  Basically, anyone who has little
need to produce plays in the future, tiny companies who don't make any money off their shows
and hence don't stand to lose any money if they're never allowed to produce again; also people so
far out of the professional loop that they're just not aware of the laws governing copyrights (high
school students, for example, do this a lot.)

So here's the beauty of it!  Anyone who might be able to pay you a substantial fee, would never
steal your script in the first place.  Anyone who WOULD steal your script, probably doesn't have
any money anyways.  I, myself, have had a couple instances of high school students using pieces
in high school drama competitions without getting appropriate permission, but even if they had,
what was I gonna get out of it?  Five bucks maybe?  Frankly, I'd rather have the free publicity
than haggle with a struggling company over 5 or 10 dollars.

This is particularly relevant to No Shame pieces, because these are very short pieces.  There aren't
a whole lot of forums who pay big bucks for 3 minute plays, so even if someone does one of your
pieces at an open mike night in Seattle, what were you really going to get out of them anyways?

To profit off of short pieces (and, again, that's what copyrighting is "legally" concerned with,
profit)  you need to put a whole bunch of 'em together in a book, or a longer play (which is where
the Reindeer Monologues, and Dead Panther Cabaret, two of my shows, came from), and
generally speaking, the author is usually the only one who has access to that kind of material.

Another ironical thing about theft of theatre is that stealing usually requires secrecy, but the goal
of theatre (any theatre, no matter how small) is to have as many people as possible know about
your show.  Pirating scripts is almost certainly self-defeating because the only time you'll get away
with it is when your show is so unsuccessful that no one hears about it.  On a couple of occasions
(again, usually high school students or people who didn't know better) people have tried to
perform one of my monologues without my permission, but I usually end up finding out about it. 
They get a review in the newspaper, or a friend of a friend hears about the show and tells me.  It's
extreeeemely difficult to steal a performance piece AND get away with it AND get anything out
of it.

Really, I think the best point Aprille makes is the moral issue of whether you're comfortable with
the idea that some sleazebag at a college in Anchorage might be getting an A in playwrighting off
of your work.  (I'd disagree though that there's not much danger of him [I'm sure it's a him, the
sleazebag!] publishing your piece, because, again, he puts himself in a position that one year from
now, or 5 years, or 10 years, you could walk into a court, slap down a copy of the script from
1998 and demand every penny they earned off it.  Not a risk any serious publisher in their right
mind is going to take.)

For myself, that's a dilemma I'm always struggling with (as some of y'all know, I have my own
website which has several script on it, including the easily-to-pirate Reindeer Monologues), but
ultimately I've decided to expose some of my scripts to that risk, because the payoffs is
considerable.  For example, last year, one of my plays was done in New Zealand AND Australia,
two audiences I never would have reached through traditional snail-mail submissions.  For me,
that more than makes up for the cabaret singer who did 3 performances in New York of one
monologue without paying me.

Shoot, I was going to make this into an organized list of pros and cons, and now I've gone and
rambled on.  I guess I got too much time on my hands this week.

Also, one of the main purposes in setting up the web archive was to keep a backup copy of
scripts.  If your home computer blows up, you would still have a copy of your scripts stored on
the website.  (You can make use of this "service" even if you *don't* want your pieces linked into
the library for others to read.)

...Jeff

Time: Wed, 20-Oct-1999 00:40:04 GMT     IP: 152.175.163.119


NO SHAME LIBRARY POLICY

Okay, so this is three parts.  

A couple things I wanted to mention about the policy for pieces stored in the web-archives.

One, is that the pieces always belong to the author(s) who wrote them.  You do not give up any
rights by allowing your script to be published on this website.  And even though you have to send
it to me to put up on the site, the page is still considered your property.  If you would like to
change the script, or the look of the page, or whatever, you always retain the right to do so.

There will never be a danger of conflict with a publisher because your piece is already "published"
on the web, because with a simple email you can have your piece "unpublished".  Hopefully the
website will always be provide an opportunity to the writer and never a detriment.

Also, although I try as much as possible to put up scripts "as is" to preserve the intentions of the
author, the one change that I will always make is to add a copyright notice if you haven't already
done so.  No script will be placed on the website without due credit to the author(s) and a notice
that they retain the copyright to the work.


My goodness!  I've just gone on today.  I hope some of this was helpful, or answered questions
you may have had.

...Jeff

Time: Wed, 20-Oct-1999 01:37:15 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.149

:Now, I feel that God deserves a similar barrage of 
:
smears for the rudeness of His post, but I am similarly sick and 
:
tired of the smearing.

Nick, can I smear God just a little? Please? Just a tad? ...No? 
Can I just hurt his feelings a little? ...A tiny bit? Can I say, 
"I take back the part about you all being ugly hacks. I love you 
all, I enjoy your work, and your faces are radiant. Except for 
God, who is dull and homely"? ...No good? ...Fine. Just checking.

-Riverrr

Time: Wed, 20-Oct-1999 04:48:43 GMT     IP: 205.188.199.41


Thanks for the informative...information, Jeff. That was really cool of you to clear that up for us. 
Also, I should mention that your comments about Heather are valid as well. She did make some
points, but I guess I felt (as some others did) that the body of the argument was too vague for me
or anyone else to get anything from. It's unfortunate that every time an audience member shares
an opinion (okay, so this is only the second one) some controversy arises, feelings get hurt and we
never hear from them again. So, it's unfortunate. And, I apologize to her for anything I may have
said that may have offended. 
Markus Malkamus Hansenus

Time: Wed, 20-Oct-1999 05:07:36 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.101

:And, I apologize to her for anything I may have said that may 
have offended. 
:
Markus Malkamus Hansenus

Well, Mark: thanks. Of course, I don't recall you calling me a 
twat, or a bitch, or hoping I rot in hell, so your apology is 
perhaps less called for than some people's. I hadn't looked at 
this board for awhile: I had no idea my comments had stirred up 
such strong feelings in your little clique.

So, you all think the only difference between MY post and other 
people's would be that I insulted Mark with no explanation as to 
what I didn't like about his stuff? Please. Look at Stangl's 
reviews. Or Jamal's. Or Arlen's. They trash people left and right 
and nobody thinks twice about it. "Not funny." "Didn't care for 
it." "Boring." OK, so maybe I was harsh, but if one of you elite 
No Shame regulars had said the exact same thing, there's no way 
it would have elicited the same barrage of cursing and death 
threats. 

Even so, the entire display was fairly infantile so I can't get 
myself TOO worked up over it. I'm not even going to call you 
hacks or annoying pieces of shit (what's with God? What a pompous 
jerk!). And don't you fear, you haven't driven me away from No 
Shame, either. I'll be there this Friday, just like every week. 
Who knows, maybe I'll even decide to perform sometime?

-Heather

P.S: I still don't think Mark is funny.

Time: Wed, 20-Oct-1999 15:31:22 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.154

Hey--does anyone know if the scripts are missing for the weeks 
where no one posted the order?  I asked on ISCA, but no one there 
seems to have an answer.

If what's missing is just the sheet with all the titles on it 
that Dan reads at the top of the show, hopefully someone could 
reconstruct the missing orders from the scripts (which are 
numbered for the benefit of the light board operator).  And if 
the scripts themselves are missing, perhaps authors can supply 
new copies so there isn't (another) gap in the paper archives...

-Adam

Time: Wed, 20-Oct-1999 16:14:51 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

such strong feelings in your little clique.



So, you all think the only difference between MY post and other 
:
people's would be that I insulted Mark with no explanation as to 
:
what I didn't like about his stuff? Please. Look at Stangl's 
:
reviews. Or Jamal's. Or Arlen's. They trash people left and right 
:
and nobody thinks twice about it. "Not funny." "Didn't care for 
:
it." "Boring." OK, so maybe I was harsh, but if one of you elite 
:
No Shame regulars had said the exact same thing, there's no way 
:
it would have elicited the same barrage of cursing and death 
:
threats. 


I think the main reason that a regular's harsh comments wouldn't elicit the same harshness, aside
from a general
sense of comradery, is that we know who they are.  We know that if they say something
really mean, we can confront them about it in person.  Conversely, the reason
we found it so easy to abuse Heather was that we didn't know who
she is or if she even existed.  She was nothing more or less to us
than a symbol of dislike for Mark's sense of humor.  I don't know how we could be
more accepting of audience comments.  Maybe if Heather had included a last name
or her email or phone number we would have felt less threatened by her.
The reason that we don't get defensive against regulars is that
regulars build a vulnerability into their posts by identifying themselves
as the people we all know by seeing onstage week after week.  Heather and
God's posts were troubling to us because they seemed to be throwing stones
from behind a wall of anonymity, which is unfair to do to a person who
identifies him/herself.  I think I've repeated myself about 90 times
here and never really gotten around to saying what I wanted to say,
but hopefully the rest of you will be able to infer my meaning.
I'm going to go and get some sleep.

Time: Wed, 20-Oct-1999 17:54:41 GMT     IP: 63.25.166.13

Adam, consider me on this task.

Now consider me on a yacht in the Caribbean. Much less likely, 
but hey, y'know, the power of visualization and whatnot.

Time: Wed, 20-Oct-1999 21:51:31 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.221

Hey kids. I haven't been posting here because...well...I'm a lazy 
bastard and stuff. But, I'd like to chime in on a few things. I 
promise it will be informative and hilarious, just like all my 
pieces are...right...

1. Heather: Does anyone know who this person is? Is she a No 
SHame regular? Has she ever been to No Shame? Is she Mark fucking 
with us (Hi Mark!!!!)? And most importantly, is she single? I can 
see how some people might think knotty pines is unfunny, but I 
think it's pretty cool. I like the idea of a "Crash Corrigan and 
the Radar Men from The Moon" style serial at NS, combined with 
Mark's tradeMark dry wit and hilarity. I dig it. In fact, I asked 
Mark to write me a roll (role) in the next episode. So there.

2. Stangl, that post a while back where you insulted me three 
times, I dug that too! (1. was commenting on how I ripped off 
Sprockets for my German piece, which I did 2. was something about 
my 193 minute long Star Wars parody, which it was and 3. was a 
knock on True Love: A Farce which I directed, but wasn't as good 
as it could have been because some of the actors didn't listen to 
me [not you Kneel!!!]).

3. to Jeff: I'm going to send a pile of my scripts to you. What 
is the best way to go about doing this? You can email me the 
answer if you wish.

4. Copying/homage: We all borrow. We all pay homage to those that 
taught us, whether it's Python, SNL, Marx or Lenin. We all do it, 
every artist does it, so deal with it. There's nothing new out 
there, unless David Mamet is doing it.

5. 10:30: this hasn't been commented on, but whatever. I come 
into the lounge at, say, 10:25 and there are like 5 people 
already waiting in a line that doesn't exist. Last week I wrote a 
boffo monologue that I was rip roaring to do, but I got there at 
10:38 because I was having printer problems. I was locked out of 
the order. That's really not so fair, but I'll live with it. 
Maybe there should be one or two slots in the order left in 
reserve for people who can't stake out the line 20 minutes early.

6. WHERE ARE ALL THE WOMEN AT??? I NEED WOMEN!!!! BLAAAHHRRGGHH!!
that just slipped out
that's all

mike

Time: Wed, 20-Oct-1999 22:24:24 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.166


:5. 10:30: this hasn't been commented on, but whatever. I come 
:into the lounge at, say, 10:25 and there are like 5 people 
:already waiting in a line that doesn't exist. Last week I wrote a 
:boffo monologue that I was rip roaring to do, but I got there at 
:10:38 because I was having printer problems. I was locked out of 
:the order. That's really not so fair, but I'll live with it. 
:Maybe there should be one or two slots in the order left in 
:reserve for people who can't stake out the line 20 minutes early.


Maybe not fair, but that's the rules' bub.  Live with 'em.  Either 
be unjustifiably bitter for a while, then apologize for it a while 
later like I do, have someone else turn in your script for you, or 
get there on time and be agressive in getting your script into 
Dan's lap before anyone else can.  Many, many things in this world 
we miss out on because we miss the deadline.  That's why it's a 
deadline: to keep things from overflowing and getting cramped, to 
keep the order manageable and to prevent last minute entries from 
confusing everybody. Also, I post here way too much. Honk if you 
want me to shut the hell up.

Time: Wed, 20-Oct-1999 22:31:35 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.166

::Now, I feel that God deserves a similar barrage of 
::
:smears for the rudeness of His post, but I am similarly sick and 
::
:tired of the smearing.
:
:Nick, can I smear God just a little? Please? Just a tad? ...No? 
:Can I just hurt his feelings a little? ...A tiny bit? Can I say, 
:"I take back the part about you all being ugly hacks. I love you 
:all, I enjoy your work, and your faces are radiant. Except for 
:God, who is dull and homely"? ...No good? ...Fine. Just checking.
:
:-Riverrr


Sure you can, toad-man.  Alls I said was I wasn't a gwine ta do it 
meself.  I can't stop you from a smearin' God.  Smear away, me 
boy.  Smear away.  

Also, the pie contest gets one more week.  Whoever can guess what 
the hell the title of my piece "Bear Smegma has Chunks of Salmon 
in it" referred to gets a delicious pie hand baked (yes, my hands 
sometimes get up to 500 degrees fahrenheit) by yours truly, 
containing any filling of your choice, but not meat and also 
cheesecake is not a pie.

L'oven Fresh Clark

Time: Thu, 21-Oct-1999 02:22:32 GMT     IP: 204.120.50.1

:Also, the pie contest gets one more week.  Whoever can guess what 
:the hell the title of my piece "Bear Smegma has Chunks of Salmon 
:in it" referred to gets a delicious pie hand baked (yes, my hands 
:sometimes get up to 500 degrees fahrenheit) by yours truly, 
:containing any filling of your choice, but not meat and also 
:cheesecake is not a pie.
:
:L'oven Fresh Clark
:
I'm guessing that it has something to do with the fact that bears 
sometimes masturbate with salmon. 

Is that a fact? I don't know. But damn, is it ever an image.

James

Time: Thu, 21-Oct-1999 04:32:03 GMT     IP: 152.163.197.59



1. Heather: Does anyone know who this person is? Is she a No 
:
SHame regular? Has she ever been to No Shame? Is she Mark fucking 
:
with us (Hi Mark!!!!)? 

An idea so ludicrous... it just might work.

Time: Thu, 21-Oct-1999 05:57:34 GMT     IP: 152.163.232.33

:
:Is she Mark fucking with us (Hi Mark!!!!)? 
:

:An idea so ludicrous... it just might work.

She could be Mark fucking with us, but better if she could be 
fucking Mark...with us....wait a sex, er, sec...

forget I ever posted this.

mike

Time: Thu, 21-Oct-1999 06:11:42 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.27

::Also, the pie contest gets one more week.  Whoever can guess 
what 
::the hell the title of my piece "Bear Smegma has Chunks of Salmon 
::in it" referred to gets a delicious pie hand baked (yes, my 
hands 
::sometimes get up to 500 degrees fahrenheit) by yours truly, 
::containing any filling of your choice, but not meat and also 
::cheesecake is not a pie.
::
::L'oven Fresh Clark
::
:I'm guessing that it has something to do with the fact that bears 
:sometimes masturbate with salmon. 
:
:Is that a fact? I don't know. But damn, is it ever an image.
:
:James
:
No, Jimmy-James.  I'm afraid that's not what I had in mind.  At 
least it's a very incomplete version of what I had in mind.  Very 
creative, however, and indeed an image. I'm not sure whether to 
make the consolation pie or not.  Just in case I feel bored and 
generous, tell me what kind of pie you like.
Love
Nick "Salmon-Pot-Pie" Clark

Time: Thu, 21-Oct-1999 21:13:01 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.249

: Whoever can guess what the hell the title of my piece "Bear : 
Smegma has Chunks of Salmon 
:in it" referred to gets a delicious pie hand baked

     Okay, so at the pornography store where I work, we have a lot 
of products other than pornography.  And also other than 5 foot 
plastic genitalia.  One thing we sell is greeting cards.  And 
keychains. The keychains are stupid shit like "I'm only a bitch on 
days that end in Y!!!!" and "Of all the things I've lost, I miss 
my mind the most!!!!!" and that kind of crap.  There's this one 
keychain that says "THE HAPPY FISHERMAN," and there's a picture of 
a guy fishing, and under the surface of the water he doesn't have 
any pants on, and a bluegill has its mouth on his "weiner".  
There's also a greeting card showing a guy fishing, and saying 
"Happy Birthday... From the Happy Fisherman!!!" and you open it up 
and inside it shows that (guess what?!) a fish is affixed, mouth-
side, to the Fisherman's weenis. Totally unrelated companies 
manufactured these "goods." I know that's not what you were 
thinking of, but isn't that, like, really weird?

     Also I think some episode of "Grizzly Adams" or that boring 
French movie "The Bear" (which shows a bear walking around for two 
hours) revealed your smegma trivia. I know it wasn't from "Little 
House on the Prairie," because even though they had bears on that 
show, I remember Pa (Michael Landon) saying "Bear smegma does NOT 
have chunks of salmon in it."

     This is all just an effort to get my hands on some of your 
damn fine cherry pie, of course.

Your friendly friend,
Chris Stangl, the happy fisherman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time: Thu, 21-Oct-1999 23:03:39 GMT     IP: 205.188.192.23

You know, the whole "Heather" incident did bring upon an unprecedented onslaught of
boardroom posts. This joint sure has been jumping, folks. And that's a good thing (heh, heh.) So,
anyway, those of you who defended me against my arch nemesis can detract your statements if
you want. (But you don't have to.) (Heh, heh.) 
P.S.: Hi, Mike!!!
P.P.S.: Who the hell wrote that second post? (Stangl!?!)


(Heh, heh.)

Mark "Is he really Heather" Hansen

Time: Fri, 22-Oct-1999 16:16:44 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.2

Mork! How you can say I don't exist? Just becasue I fink you 
pieces is bad is reason to deny me entire existence?!#+! No! I 
am REAL person! My name ees "Heather" spelt H-E-A-T-H-E-R and 
with a last name of MacFombaComba. Heather Butticus 
MacFimbaCamba. I goey to No Shame ebby day!   I LOOVEs it!?!% I 
live on Flanbowl St. in Fartshoe, Iowa. Yippy! My phone nubber 
ist "9-1-1" and I asks you all to please call me and say "HELLO 
Heather MacFombamaCobby!" Morek, I be too sorry for hurty you 
feelings so! Butt please don't say I ist no real PERSON! OUCH! 
That HURTS _ME_!! I musta go now for I have farts to smell. Good 
bye and I WILL see you toNIGHT! YEAH!

-Heather B  

Time: Fri, 22-Oct-1999 17:11:50 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.2

Hey! Hey Nick! So, there's presumably more to your smegma riddle 
than just "bears have salmon in they smegma cuz they eats a lot 
of salmon"?!#! Zoiks!?

-River.

P.S. I must side with Heather MacFombaComba on this one, Mark. 
If she says she's real, I think it's only polite to believe her. 

Time: Fri, 22-Oct-1999 18:30:22 GMT     IP: 128.255.108.65


:So, you all think the only difference between MY post and other 
:people's would be that I insulted Mark with no explanation as to 
:what I didn't like about his stuff? Please. Look at Stangl's 
:reviews. Or Jamal's. Or Arlen's. They trash people left and right 
:and nobody thinks twice about it. "Not funny." "Didn't care for 
:it." "Boring." OK, so maybe I was harsh, but if one of you elite 
:No Shame regulars had said the exact same thing, there's no way 
:it would have elicited the same barrage of cursing and death 
:threats. 


The other more obvious difference between heather's 'criticism' of 
mark's work and the reviews offered by Rev. Stangl, J-Mole, Arlen 
and myself is that the regulars review each piece individually.  
One might say "I thought this piece sucked and wasn't funny." But 
the implied circumstance is that the person being subjected to the 
review is capable of better, funnier work.  I can't recall a 
circumstance when a regular subjected another regular to a harsh 
judgement inclusive of the entirety of his/her oeuvre.  I'm not 
saying that regulars are better reviewers than heather.  Gosh 
knows we need to know what's on the minds of those who don't 
appear on stage. But, as performers and writers, I think we have a 
somewhat better idea what is helpful to each other.  Even if you 
did say specifically what it is that you don't like about mark's 
work, heather, the fact that you made your reamrk inclusive of 
everything mark's done at no shame leaves little for him to draw 
on in the future.

So there's my more thought out affront to heather's original 'i 
don't like mark's stuff' post.  I feel like I'm perpetuating the 
anti heather sentiment by posting it, but I also feel this one ios 
really worth posting, unlike most of my others.

Time: Fri, 22-Oct-1999 18:43:42 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.2

:I feel like I'm perpetuating the 
:
anti heather sentiment by posting , but I also feel this one ios 
:
really worth posting, unlike most of my others.


Yo Nick, weren't you paying attention? I'm a joke! I'm just a 
joke! The debate is null and void, mang!

-Heather

Time: Sat, 23-Oct-1999 08:08:28 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.112


Okay, so I don't ususally post here, but I must make a run for 
the Smegma pie!

The words "Bear Smegma" have three letters ("S", "A", and "M") in 
common with the word "Salmon", hence it is correct to say, "Bear 
Smegma Has Chunks of Salmon In It."  I don't remember if there 
was a character named "Sam" in the piece or not.

How'd I do, oh monitary-symboled one??

Time: Sat, 23-Oct-1999 08:21:50 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.112

Don't quite know how that last post got in twice...sorry.

Had another thought--is "SAM" really just an "S -&- M" reference??

Probably way off base.  It's late.  What're gonna do?

Time: Sat, 23-Oct-1999 08:37:33 GMT     IP: 24.9.192.139

Hey Mr Okishi,
   I know that I told you once, but I just thought that I'd say 
it again.  I loved your piece this evening.  Excellent work.  I 
like others a lot as well, but nothing stands out at present.  
I'll have to wait for the order.
   K.Anson Lane

Time: Sat, 23-Oct-1999 16:27:53 GMT     IP: 128.255.110.223

:
:Okay, so I don't ususally post here, but I must make a run for 
:the Smegma pie!
:
:The words "Bear Smegma" have three letters ("S", "A", and "M") in 
:common with the word "Salmon", hence it is correct to say, "Bear 
:Smegma Has Chunks of Salmon In It."  I don't remember if there 
:was a character named "Sam" in the piece or not.
:
:How'd I do, oh monitary-symboled one??

You're so far off i couldn't find you with a search party.  which 
christopher is this?  if this is okiishi, thanks for your genuine 
effort, you clearly put more thought into this than i intended.  
if it's anyone else named christopher, i hate anyone named 
christopher.

Time: Sat, 23-Oct-1999 18:14:58 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.123

1) Mose Hayward is an Immature Ass by Jamal River
2) Kyle, Is That a Chip On Your Shoulder, or Are You Just Happy 
to See Me? by
Kyle Lange
3) How to Hide a Body by Justin Rose
4) Tables During the Afternoon by Willie Barbour
5) Super Villains Institute by Brooks Peck is my New Fucking 
Jesus
6) Thanks for Listening by Anwar Williams
7) Travis Robert's Trans Am by Danger Brooks
8) Super Villains Institute II by John Smick is my New Fucking 
Holy Host
9) Is the Plural of Gandhi "Gondola?" by Aprille Clarke
10) The Fetal Follies by Neil Balls Campbell
11) Knotty Pines, Pt. III by Mark Hansen
12) Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!!!!! by James Erwin
13) Shorn, a Fragmented Di-Monologue by Adam Hahn
14) Involuntary Reflex to the Cold Speculum of Comedy by Chris 
Stangl
15) How To Be Cool Like Me In Only 12,785,245.6 Steps by Al 
Angel  


Last night's order is on the way!!

Time: Sun, 24-Oct-1999 00:25:50 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.97

  I suppose I could tell you what I liked and didn't like from 
memory alone, but I don't want to.

   Last week, I did not post a piece-by-piece review, which isn't 
strange to you, because I'd only written one of those in all my 
year(sic) at No Shame.  But I had planned to.  I had.  I didn't 
do it for two reasons.
   The first?  I was denied a spot in the order and was afraid 
that I would have only mean, hateful things to say to anybody 
lucky enough to have made it into the order.  (After all, _I'd_ 
brought props)  
   The second?  The order did not make an appearance.
   Anyway, more for the second reason than the first, it became 
clear to me that, after posting one piece-by-piece review, I had 
made myself dependent on the order.  I can no longer say, "Of the 
night, I remember liking/not liking this, that or my mother."  I 
can no longer say, "The piece by Freud was wonderful... and 
that's all I reblend her... organ by organ."

    In short, I am chained to it, dependent upon its arrival, but 
in many ways more free than I have ever before been.

        Love and kisses,
                     Arlen

P.S.  I'm never coming home.

Time: Sun, 24-Oct-1999 05:10:57 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.119


1.  ...And some more Mose Hayward, please.  By Jamal River.
     [song by Jamal]   
2.  I can't drive, okay?  Now give me my fucking cigarettes!  By 
     John "I wish I had a cool nickname" Hague
     [Monologue about trouble buying smokes without a driver's 
      lisense, and the reasons thereof]
3.  Yet Another Title with the Word "Poop" in It.  By Al J. Angel
     and Mark J. Hansen.
     [Mark does Al and Al does Mark, only less pornographic than
      that sounds...]
4.  The Importance of Being Mike Rothschild.  By Mike Rothschild.
     [Mike explains the mechanics of his writing style, with 
      examples]
5.  The Observer.  By Willie Barbour.
     [Memory monologue about strange friends and telescopes]
6.  Knotty Pines, Part Four.  By Mark J. Hansen.  
     [The saga continues.  Rothschild gets the girl.]
7.  The Story of Karen.  By Kyle Lange.
     [A song by Kyle]
8.  Yer In the Golden Shower of Jesus' Love:  Santa Claus Pt. 2
     by Nick Clark.
     [A father tries to understand how a son managed to turn up 
      auto-urino-erotic photos]
9.  Pink Octopusususes or The Blatant Rip-Off Sketch:  An Homage.
     by James Jamie Jimmy Jim Shamus Jaime Horak.
     [Three atempts at No Shame novelty, each tharted by the   
      comedy police, or Balls with a pink octopus on his head]
10. Accorting to David Harman, This Monologue is All About Sex.
     by Adam Hahn.
     [Adam is tempted by another's laundry articles]
11. And Now, Ladies and Gentleman, For Your Viewing Pleasure, 
    Life As Explained in a Series of Brief, Meaningful Sketches
    Even This Audience Might Understand or Mommy, Where Does
    Hamburger Come From?  By Arlen Lawson.
     [The title actually says it all]
12. Baby on Board.  By Christopher Okiishi.
     [Monologue about finding meaning through kidnapping]
13. Is That an Earthquake in my Balls, or Am I Just Happy to See
    You?  By Aaron Galbraith.
     [Aaron doubts the sincerity of others apologies.  He nails 
      Balls to the wall]
14. Judi Dench, Promiscuous Whore.  By Neil "Balls" Campbell.
    [Herpes cautionary tale]
15. Dental Dam Over Good Taste.  By Chris Stangl.
    [A boy rhapsodizes about his love of three dead babies on a 
     rope.  Really.]

That's it!  The order is posted!!

Time: Thu, 21-Oct-1999 22:25:54 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.139

:    This is all just an effort to get my hands on some of your 
:damn fine cherry pie, of course.
:
:Your friendly friend,
:Chris Stangl, the happy fisherman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A most amusing post.  Though not technically deserving of the 
consolation pie for a guess anywhere close to what I had in mind, 
you'll probably get one anyhow for the image of Michael Landon on 
"Little House" saying "Bear Smegma does NOT have chunks of salmon 
in it."  Comedy=pie, kids.  Remember that.
Fresh, hot love -&- salmonny smegma,
     Nichola$ Bob Clark, D.D. -&- The Lebanese Wheels of Soul

Time: Sun, 24-Oct-1999 08:02:26 GMT     IP: 205.188.192.23

And here's my review.
1.  ...And some more Mose Hayward, please.  By Jamal River.
I loved the drums on tape with acoustic guitar. It was a good start to the evening, giving it a Stop
Making Sense flavor. Jamal sang well also, but not as well on that song as I've heard him before,
simply because he was nervous. Overall, excellent, though.
 
2.  I can't drive, okay?  Now give me my fucking cigarettes!  By 
     John "I wish I had a cool nickname" Hague
Reason why this piece didn't work: Too many inside jokes and references. I heard more people
whispering to their neighbors who Vinnie Delpino was, and what does 'Staven mean than
laughter. It was probably funny to those who understood it all, and was funny in places. 
    
3.  Yet Another Title with the Word "Poop" in It.  By Al J. Angel
     and Mark J. Hansen.
I don't normally swear that much, even in real life, and I think that was obvious. Otherwise, this
went really well. Yes, Al wrote his lines and I wrote my lines. Why pair Al and I together? If you
listen closely, we have the exact same voice, only at different pitch levels.
   
4.  The Importance of Being Mike Rothschild.  By Mike Rothschild.
This is my favorite Mike Rothschild piece to date. I'm glad I was a part of it. Rothschild made an
inside joke accessible by elevating it to ridiculousness so that everyone could appreciate it, not
just those familiar with Meisner.
5.  The Observer.  By Willie Barbour.
I wish I could say I enjoyed this piece, but I didn't catch most of it, due to my nerves since I was
next. I usually like Willie's stuff, and this one wasn't about a woman in a restaurant, so it was
probably really good.
6.  Knotty Pines, Part Four.  By Mark J. Hansen.  
It's over. These, in my opinion, got better as they went along, simply because I learned that you
don't have to separate the jokes from the storyline and plot progression. And I had a kick-ass cast
all the way. 
7.  The Story of Karen.  By Kyle Lange.
Kyle writes great songs, but his singing style is...different. He sort of affects this voice that is nice,
but I'd like to hear Kyle sing without it once maybe. And he should quit saying his song is gonna
suck before he sings. That's not fair.
8.  Yer In the Golden Shower of Jesus' Love:  Santa Claus Pt. 2
     by Nick Clark.
I haven't seen all of Nick Clark's work, but this seemed especially risque for him. I'm not saying it
didn't work. His acting I enjoyed in this, as well as Al as Jesus. I still prefer Here Comes the Love,
but this was good, too.
9.  Pink Octopusususes or The Blatant Rip-Off Sketch:  An Homage.
I must admit, I laughed extremely hard at this. Partially because Galbraith turned to me and said
that this was his thesaurus sketch, so I knew what was going on. This was a good example of how
pushing an idea far beyond its breaking point can sometimes be a good thing. 
10. Accorting to David Harman, This Monologue is All About Sex.
by Adam Hahn. I liked this one a lot, too. This was probably my favorite Adam Hahn piece to
date. Waht impresses me about Hahn is how he had his voice all figured out from the beginning,
and he didn't have to go through some kinda weak stuff like some of the rest of us. This was his
first monologue where he wasn't attacking No Shame, making a mess, or referencing the previous
monologues.
11. And Now, Ladies and Gentleman, For Your Viewing Pleasure, 
    Life As Explained in a Series of Brief, Meaningful Sketches
    Even This Audience Might Understand or Mommy, Where Does
    Hamburger Come From?  By Arlen Lawson.
Yay! I'm glad this went over so well, cuz I loved to be a part of it. My favorite Arlen piece to
date. Nice mix of funny with serious. I've been told that my mini-monologue to Sheila was
reminiscent of Woody Allen, which I consider a good thing, but was accidental, and only occured
because I hadn't really memorized that part so well, and was very nervous.
12. Baby on Board.  By Christopher Okiishi.
Yay again! It's so good to have Chris Okiishi back again! I always love his work, and this was no
exception. Don't ever leave again.
13. Is That an Earthquake in my Balls, or Am I Just Happy to See
    You?  By Aaron Galbraith.
I was in this one, too. The writing of this piece was really good, but what was the most impressive
was Galbraith's performance. He just went off on me, man. I don't know where he was storing
that energy, but that was pretty cool. 
14. Judi Dench, Promiscuous Whore.  By Neil "Balls" Campbell.
Neil, you are an asshole. See, the thing is, each night I see your stuff, I think, "oh, that was Neil's
best, that's in Best of." At the rate you're going, Best Of will be all yours, bastard. Stop being so
goddam good. And how could Brad pull that hilarious performance off without rehearsing it? And
Sheila? I hate you all.
15. Dental Dam Over Good Taste.  By Chris Stangl.
This was funny, but not my favorite Stangl monologue. Still, a great character and evocative
imagery. I don't know why it's not my favorite. The vibrated for an hour line was an inside joke
that I found hysterical. 

And that's Mark's review. See, he loves No Shame when he gets cast in stuff. Remember this,
friends, when you think, "Gee, I hope Mark Hansen writes a good review of my skit on the
boardroom for the many people who read it to see." Cast me and you're solid, brother. But did I
mention my fee for acting.....

Time: Sun, 24-Oct-1999 17:33:46 GMT     IP: 152.163.232.42

Never have done a piece by piece review, now's as good a time as 
any to start, with 10/22 being such a good show and all.
:
1.  ...And some more Mose Hayward, please.  By Jamal River.
I dug the idea of a taped drum part with guitar. Though the 
syncopation was off at times, I didn't mind. Good start to the 
show.
2.  I can't drive, okay?  Now give me my fucking cigarettes!  By 
John "I wish I had a cool nickname" Hague
I do know who Vinnie DelPino is (Doogie Howser's sidekick) but 
does it matter? Kind of a one note piece, but a nice ending.
3.  Yet Another Title with the Word "Poop" in It.  By Al J. Angel
:and Mark J. Hansen.
Self satire rules. Putting AL and Mark together in a piece is 
like having a carpool with a Nazi, a Rabbi and Chris Rock. But 
this was great, and it was funny to hear Mark talk like...well, 
like AL.
4.  The Importance of Being Mike Rothschild.  By Mike Rothschild.
Wrote this one in chunks. Did the intro and the poem, then a few 
hours later did the monologue, then the sketch. I harvested the 
Heston thing from the monologue I wrote last week that didn't get 
in the order, but this piece was better anyway. Glad it went over 
well, I needed a good one after a few weeks of 
inactivity/failure. Thanks to Balls...err...Mark.
5.  The Observer.  By Willie Barbour.
Didn't quite get it, but I was also coming down from doing my 
piece, so my memory is spotty.
6.  Knotty Pines, Part Four.  By Mark J. Hansen.  
I got the girl! Knew something had to be wrong. A nice way to 
wrap it up, and they did get better as the story wore on. 
Funnystuff with the Police and Chris Breecher. Hope Mark tries 
another serial, maybe next semester.
7.  The Story of Karen.  By Kyle Lange.
Hmmm...Kyle really likes this girl, eh? Seriously, I think Kyle 
writes really good songs, but his singing is a little...ham 
handed? Dunno, I wasn't really in the mood to hear a tribute to a 
girlfriend, so I should shut up.
8.  Yer In the Golden Shower of Jesus' Love:  Santa Claus Pt. 2
:by Nick Clark.
Great intro, kind of slid from there. But I got a big laugh out 
of it, nonetheless.
9.  Pink Octopusususes or The Blatant Rip-Off Sketch:  An Homage.
:by James Jamie Jimmy Jim Shamus Jaime Horak.
Great stuff. You missed it, there were some great stage 
directions. And I love anything with a character named "eat your 
peas". I tried a German accent, failed miserably. 
10. Accorting to David Harman, This Monologue is All About Sex.
:by Adam Hahn.
His best work to date. Made me uncomfortable, but in that, whoa 
this is sick and I dig it way, rather than "this is sick, please 
just stop". Good shtuff.

11. And Now, Ladies and Gentleman, For Your Viewing Pleasure... 
By Arlen Lawson.
Awesome. Nice to see the sketch format streched and warped, and 
actually given a higher purpose. I could try that sometime.
12. Baby on Board.  By Christopher Okiishi.
Chris's best piece of the semester. Loved the vividness and 
details, could see the whole thing happening in my head. Boffo.
13. Is That an Earthquake in my Balls, or Am I Just Happy to See
You?  By Aaron Galbraith.
Went totally away from where I expected it to. Neil is a funny 
funny little man. Great pratfall by Aaron.
14. Judi Dench, Promiscuous Whore.  By Neil "Balls" Campbell.
Oh dear. Neil is kicking my ass every week and I love it. The 
only thing that didn't work was the "asking the audience" bit, 
but don't worry because it never works. The audience isn't 
stupid, they're just not ready for it to happen when it does.
15. Dental Dam Over Good Taste.  By Chris Stangl.
I think I was burned out by the end of the show, because I wanted 
a quick resolution on this. A good setup, but the bag thing at 
the end didn't work. Would have gotten me if it was a minute or 
so shorter.

Great work all. Go see Fight Club now. Go!

mike

Time: Sun, 24-Oct-1999 18:00:58 GMT     IP: 205.188.192.49

Waht impresses me about Hahn is how he had his voice all figured 
out from the beginning, and he didn't have to go through some 
kinda weak stuff like some of the rest of us. 


Waht the Hell are you talking about? I am about as far from 
getting my voice all figured out as Nick Clark is from getting 
head from "Heather". I've been lucky with some of the things I 
tried starting out, but believe me, there is some weak stuff yet 
to come.

Time: Sun, 24-Oct-1999 19:55:06 GMT     IP: 206.150.222.243

BADABOOOOOM!

And with that, I not only make my enterence into the world of the 
No Shame Boardroom, but also present my first review.  Aren't you 
all terribly excited?!  I know I am!

1.  ...And some more Mose Hayward, please.  By Jamal River.
     [song by Jamal]   
Okay, I really really like this song, but something wasn't quite 
working for me in this performance.  The drums on tape was a neat 
idea, but I prefer just good ol' Jamal and his guitar.  
Regardless, the song is great and you should all buy the album, 
and if you already have, you should another copy.
2.  I can't drive, okay?  Now give me my fucking cigarettes!  By 
     John "I wish I had a cool nickname" Hague
     [Monologue about trouble buying smokes without a driver's 
      lisense, and the reasons thereof]
Mr. Hague can be kinda hit or miss with me.  I've really liked 
some of his other stuff (Night at the field house, Recesses of 
Theatre B, and yes, even that really arty piece about the art 
museum [did I spell that right?]), but I did not care for this 
much.  I think he's trying too hard.  It shows.  John, just relax, 
take a breath, and listen to your muse.
3.  Yet Another Title with the Word "Poop" in It.  By Al J. Angel
     and Mark J. Hansen.
     [Mark does Al and Al does Mark, only less pornographic than
      that sounds...]
The most fantabulous piece of the night!  Well, I think so.  This 
was a lot of fun to write, and even more fun to perform.  It was 
really hard to write "like Mark," because he is the smartest man 
alive, and I am not.  However, I think that it worked well, and I 
am very happy to have done it.  Yipee!
4.  The Importance of Being Mike Rothschild.  By Mike Rothschild.
     [Mike explains the mechanics of his writing style, with 
      examples]
Mike kicks ass!  This piece was great, and I will join with the 
others and deam it my favorite Rothschild skit ever.  Yay, mike!
5.  The Observer.  By Willie Barbour.
     [Memory monologue about strange friends and telescopes]
Willie's departure from the waitress piece!  I really like this 
one, too.  Fantastic imagery (sp?).  Willie is a strong writer and 
a neat guy.  I'm glad to see that he is expanding his range of 
subject matter.
6.  Knotty Pines, Part Four.  By Mark J. Hansen.  
     [The saga continues.  Rothschild gets the girl.]
Let's hear it for Mark!  What a genius!  I am happy that this 
serial worked for him.  Again, I'm going to jump on the bandwagon 
(just out of curiousity, where did that saying come from?) and say 
that this was the best Knotty Pines, which is fitting, 'cause it 
was the last.  I laughed a lot.  Fanaramerous!
7.  The Story of Karen.  By Kyle Lange.
     [A song by Kyle]
Kyle is a talented musician and a cool guy, but I must confess 
that I'm starting to grow tired of his songs.  Why must they 
always be so sad?  Even if his lyrics are happy, he always sounds 
depressed.  It was a good song, but I wasn't prepared for a 
downer.
8.  Yer In the Golden Shower of Jesus' Love:  Santa Claus Pt. 2
     by Nick Clark.
     [A father tries to understand how a son managed to turn up 
      auto-urino-erotic photos]
I'm so proud of my little Nicky.  He's grown so much since I first 
saw him.  This piece was quite funny, although, in some parts, the 
delievery seemed to be a bit slower than I felt it should have 
been.  But I got to be Jesus, the saviour!  How cool is that?  i 
think I had the best line, too.  "No, silly, it's just me, Jesus. 
 Dad says not to kill the hillbilly"!  Thank you for this great 
honour, Nick! 
9.  Pink Octopusususes or The Blatant Rip-Off Sketch:  An Homage.
     by James Jamie Jimmy Jim Shamus Jaime Horak.
     [Three atempts at No Shame novelty, each tharted by the   
      comedy police, or Balls with a pink octopus on his head]
funny stuff.  I didn't care for the first segment too much (the 
man who always does strange sex humour didn't like the 
masturbation joke-go figure), but the rest was very funny.  I 
laughed on stage (how couldn't I?  Balls as the comedy police was 
a stroke of genius!)  I was very happy to be onstage and be cloked 
with a rubber chicken (James is to rubber chicken as Al is to cap 
gun?)
10. Accorting to David Harman, This Monologue is All About Sex.
     by Adam Hahn.
     [Adam is tempted by another's laundry articles]
I was so happy to find that I truly liked this piece.  Adam learns 
that you don't need a gimmick to give a good performance.  I think 
that his previous failures were the result of trying to hard (just 
like Hague).  All you really need is solid writing.
11. And Now, Ladies and Gentleman, For Your Viewing Pleasure, 
    Life As Explained in a Series of Brief, Meaningful Sketches
    Even This Audience Might Understand or Mommy, Where Does
    Hamburger Come From?  By Arlen Lawson.
     [The title actually says it all]
Let me clear the board here and say, once and for all, that I 
really liked this one.  Jesus, Arlen, you're too sensitive.  I 
like the use of the format, I liked what he was saying, and I 
really dug the writing.  Arlen is a good writer.  The piece did 
seem to be a tad disorganized in the not-rehearsed-enough sense, 
but that was my only criticism.  And it isn't a big one, at that. 
 You did good, Arlen my boy.  Stop being so goddamned neurotic.
12. Baby on Board.  By Christopher Okiishi.
     [Monologue about finding meaning through kidnapping]
Chris returns!  We all missed you, man.  This one held the 
standard that Chris has set for himself, being funny, touching, 
and well written.  It also contained one of my favorite jokes of 
the night ("my boyfriend's body being a barren place where me seed 
would not take hold" Har!).  Good stuff.
13. Is That an Earthquake in my Balls, or Am I Just Happy to See
    You?  By Aaron Galbraith.
     [Aaron doubts the sincerity of others apologies.  He nails 
      Balls to the wall]
Aaron is a physical poet.  He uses his body and his actions in 
such a wonderful way.  Images are quite often the most important 
things in his work, and let me tell you, the image of him throwing 
Balls into the wall worked fabulously.  More good stuff.
14. Judi Dench, Promiscuous Whore.  By Neil "Balls" Campbell.
    [Herpes cautionary tale]
I'm not going to say much about this one.  Balls is so 
fantasically great that it is simply understood that his work aill 
always be very funny and highly enjoyable.  Yay Balls!  And a big 
Al salute to Brad (who is another fantasic man who also wrote 
the greatest piece ever performed at No Shame, which I was 
blessed enough to have been a part of) for his performance.  Yay 
Brad!
15. Dental Dam Over Good Taste.  By Chris Stangl.
    [A boy rhapsodizes about his love of three dead babies on a 
     rope.  Really.]
Yuck.  Okay stop reading and think about this piece for a moment. 
 Exactly.  Yuck.  Chris is a great writer and I love him, but this 
one was way too long for its own good.  I found myself being 
desensitized (sp?) to it by the time it was half over.  Being that 
the sheer grossness of the piece was the essential joke, I also 
stopped enjoying it halfway through.  I know I do a lot of 
disturbing stuff also, and trust me, I shall continue to do so in 
the future, but the novelty of this one wore out on me.

So!  I'm finished!  As you can probably tell, I'm in a good mood 
right now.  Anyway, this was, overall, a very good night (for me, 
anyway).  Not the best night ever, but generally full of good 
stuff.  Also, thanks to all of you who stopped by my roommate's 
party.  I apologize for not being the best host in the world, but, 
as you know, I was not in a very coherant state by the time most 
of you got there.  But I had fun, anyway.

I love you all!  Good night!

Time: Sun, 24-Oct-1999 20:29:36 GMT     IP: 206.150.222.212

15. Dental Dam Over Good Taste.  By Chris Stangl.
    [A boy rhapsodizes about his love of three dead babies on a 
     rope.  Really.]
Yuck.  Okay stop reading and think about this piece for a moment. 
 Exactly.  Yuck.  Chris is a great writer and I love him, but 
this 
one was way too long for its own good.  I found myself being 
desensitized (sp?) to it by the time it was half over.  Being 
that 
the sheer grossness of the piece was the essential joke, I also 
stopped enjoying it halfway through.  I know I do a lot of 
disturbing stuff also, and trust me, I shall continue to do so in 
the future, but the novelty of this one wore out on me.

So!  I'm finished!  As you can probably tell, I'm in a good mood 
right now.  Anyway, this was, overall, a very good night (for me, 
anyway).  Not the best night ever, but generally full of good 
stuff.  Also, thanks to all of you who stopped by my roommate's 
party.  I apologize for not being the best host in the world, 
but, 
as you know, I was not in a very coherant state by the time most 
of you got there.  But I had fun, anyway.

I love you all!  Good night!

Time: Mon, 25-Oct-1999 04:55:21 GMT     IP: 205.188.199.48

Woops.  I don't know what I just did, but I posted a message 
without posting a message.
Anyway - the thing that was missing from No Shame this week is 
that guy who wears plaid pants and Hawaiian shirts.  He cracks 
me up.  Where'd he go?
-Random Female Audience Member who posts blank messages by 
accident

Time: Mon, 25-Oct-1999 05:39:37 GMT     IP: 152.163.213.198

:Woops.  I don't know what I just did, but I posted a message 
:
without posting a message.
:
Anyway - the thing that was missing from No Shame this week is 
:
that guy who wears plaid pants and Hawaiian shirts.  He cracks 
:
me up.  Where'd he go?

What, the rest of us aren't good enough for ya? 

And by the way, no woman who comes to No Shame is stupid. Crazy, 
yes. But not stupid.

r

Time: Mon, 25-Oct-1999 06:37:27 GMT     IP: 206.150.222.208

Anyway - the thing that was missing from No Shame this week is 
that guy who wears plaid pants and Hawaiian shirts.  He cracks 
me up.  Where'd he go?


Jeez, Mike, you were in Gross Indecency.  Don't you remember?

And by the way: it has come to my attention that Balls' character 
in Horak's piece was not called the Comedy Police.  He was 
Justice.  Pardon.  And please excuse the many mispelllllins in my 
review.

Time: Mon, 25-Oct-1999 08:30:43 GMT     IP: 205.160.208.167

     

for the record....this is my first post on what you kids call the 
"internet" in a long "time".

i posted nothing about me or my wardrobe or my self-glorification.

i swear on your mothers grave al.

who wrote that loving message?

in no shame withdrawal,

mike "no really im serious, I really didn't write it you anal 
retentive, gerbil puss face asshole fuckers" cassady

p.s. just kidding about the puss face part.

Time: Mon, 25-Oct-1999 13:03:49 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.25

As far off as Mr. Okiishi was, he did do one thing which other people
hadn't got to - by speculating on wether or not there was a character
named sam in the piece he was trying to find a way to resolve the
title with the piece itself.  James and Stangl pretty much just
tried to make sense out of the title.  Okiishi, for a guess which
had more going for it than i first realized, tell me what kind of
pie you like - just in case.

Time: Mon, 25-Oct-1999 13:57:40 GMT     IP: 209.56.125.122

Either pecan or lemon.  But seriously, Nick, I'm so curious about 
what the REAL connection is, I'll give up the pies to hear the 
answer!

Time: Mon, 25-Oct-1999 14:15:19 GMT     IP: 209.56.125.122


:Chris returns!  We all missed you, man.   It also contained one 
:of my favorite jokes of the night ("my boyfriend's body being a 
:barren place where me seed would not take hold" Har!).  


Thanks for the welcome back, Al.  There's no place like home.  
And I'm glad you liked the piece, but I feel somewhat guilty 
taking credit for the funny line you mention--I may not have made 
it clear, but I paraphrased it from Joel and Ethan Cohen's 
"Raising Arizona", which was pretty much the basis of the whole 
piece, really...  As always, though, it pays to steal from the 
best.

Again, too, I thought your piece with Mark was spendiferous!  
Perhaps the best example of this theme I've ever seen.  Thank you 
for entertaining me.  

Actually, the whole night worked for me pretty well.  Two 
digressions from Al's post, though.  I really did John Hauge's 
work, and it was very sweet of him to run lights.  But, as I was 
called on to run lights during his piece, I realized that, in his 
nervousness, he was leaving out chunks of his script, parts of 
which gave necessary info for the jokes--like "East Staven" is 
the name of the town that is locally called "'Staven".  I do 
agree with Al's advice--Calm down, John!  Trust what you put on 
the paper.  

Also, contrary to other posts, I really liked Chris Stengl's 
piece.  I like that he is creating such unusual characters, that, 
believe me, have solid roots in reality.  This kid was not that 
far off from a few you could find running around town.  And the 
shirt tugging thing was a master-stoke of physical detail.  He 
didn't even look like himself, so complete was the 
transformation.  Okay, so I'll concede the point to Al that 1-2 
minutes fewer would have been stronger perhaps.  Otherwise, 
another terrific bit from an amazing semester.

Time: Mon, 25-Oct-1999 18:16:33 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.2

Goodness, what a lot of reviews. I'm glad people are using the 
web site. (And not even to fight with a theoretical audience 
member this time.) 

I agree with the bulk of what has been said. Maybe.

I don't agree with what some people said about Stangl's 
monologue. It was my very favorite Stangl monologue of all time. 
And I'm not just saying that to be contrary. I was laughing 
through the whole thing. P'rhaps you could hear me.

I enjoyed Neil's piece immensely. Of course. What more can I say 
about how great Neil is? He's great.

Willie's piece: my favorite Willie piece so far. It wasn't about 
waitresses at all. I liked the ending.

Nick's piece: I was in this, so how objective can I be? I 
enjoyed getting into the pee-mouth position. I thought the 
sketch was funny.

My piece: Getting mixed reviews from ya'll. I can never tell how 
my songs are sounding to the audience, but I'm inclined to agree 
with Al here. I don't think it worked as well as it could have. 
For one, I could barely hear the drum track and that was 
freaking me out (Arlen said it was the loudest thing playing, 
but I truly couldn't hear it at all sometimes). And for two, I 
was very nervous. More so than usual for some reason.

Egg's piece: I enjoyed it on the whole. There were a couple 
jokes I wish had been left out (like: "I'd return the panties 
slightly damp"). To me, they made the piece seem not as smart as 
it would have seemed otherwise. Maybe that's just me. Anyway, I 
liked it.

Okiishi's mono: Very funny. Everybody already said that. And 
they already said it was good to have him back. Which it was.

Al and Mark: I liked watching Al make puns, I was disturbed by 
watching Mark swear. Marcus! You watch your mouth! 

There were some other pieces, too. I'm not going to review them 
right now, though. I have to get back to work.

P.S: Al, you were _too_ a gracious host. I've never seen you 
more polite.

River

Time: Mon, 25-Oct-1999 19:24:16 GMT     IP: 209.56.125.58


:Egg's piece: I enjoyed it on the whole. There were a couple 
:jokes I wish had been left out (like: "I'd return the panties 
:slightly damp"). To me, they made the piece seem not as smart as 
:it would have seemed otherwise. Maybe that's just me. Anyway, I 
:liked it.

I agree with most everything Jamal has written.  Ever.  Except, I 
thought the "slightly damp" line was funny, in that it played 
with our purient thoughts, as well as the practicality that 
removing someone's linens before they are done drying and placing 
them back later, the only tell-tale sign would be that they were 
slightly damp.  Clever, thinks this guy.

Time: Mon, 25-Oct-1999 23:26:49 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.253

'kay.  Everything that i could say about the show has been said, 
but I's a gwine ta say some more.  More than I could say about 
the show will i say, and here 'tis.

Stangl's piece had me laughing harder than any of his others ever 
had.  The character was complex and consistent and was acted 
completely convincingly by the Reverend.  So why is 'Judy 
Garland' still my favorite?  Hard to say.  Maybe it had a greater 
variety of types of jokes.

Everybody's stuff was great.  In fact I'm just gonna skip to 
critiquing my own piece: if i don't mention you, it's because my 
advice can't help to improve perfection.

I should have gone back over the lines and made my usual half 
assed "memorize 'em, but not well enough to do it without a 
script" attempt.  But since I wrote most of the piece four weeks 
ago, I felt like I should be familiar with it, which I wasn't.  
Stangl is a fabulous actor and can somehow intuit when the author 
will miss his own cue and ad-lib until Nick catches up so the 
piece doesn't look retarded.  An enourmous big huggy bear thanks 
to Jamal who got into a humiliating and painful position on my 
account.  And Al, you were a splendid Jesus.  I was glad to do 
this piece on that night, since it's probably the funniest one of 
mine (in my opinion) and the audience was so responsive and 
involved.  Hooray for the audience!  Hooray for Heather who said 
she would be in the audience.  Hooray for Jamal for showing 
Heather to be a fraud.

On the subject of Heather, Mark's piece was the funniest of the 
evening, and the funniest of the Knotty Pines that I've seen (I 
missed III).  In a certain sense I could say everybody's was the 
funniest of the evening, since everybody somehow showed a great 
deal of uniqueness and personality in their senses of humor, 
making them incomparable, while somehow remaining No-Shame 
friendly.  How did this happen?  Is no shame a more welcoming 
environment than I had thought, or were writers just picking up 
on authorial subtlety to an extraordinary degree this week, or am 
I just a putz for not noticing more of this other weeks?  These  
questions and the Smegma-Pie issue to be resolved wednesday.

Time: Tue, 26-Oct-1999 00:30:13 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.111

   This here's my review.  It's me second one, though, you know.  
The last one I did was two weeks ago.  So... I'm not submitting to 
peer pressure, if that's what you're thinking.  In fact, I must 
take this moment to tell anybody who hasn't posted a review yet 
that they ought to, as everybody is, in all truth, doing it.


:
:1.  ...And some more Mose Hayward, please.  By Jamal River.

   You know how you have a favorite band and you love their album 
and you're waiting for another one, but, in the mean time, 
you're going to every concert you can and you're looking 
everywhere for bootlegs of concerts, because, while you need 
something new, you can get a temporary fix from hearing them play 
a song off the album in a different way.  And even if the album 
version is better, it is still absolutely the most awesome moment 
in your life when  the live version is in any way different?  You 
know?  
   Well, it's like that.  Watching Jamal do this stripped down 
version of No Such Word, even though he was nervous and even 
though I could tell that he was nervous, was a very cool moment 
for me.  And I can assume that it was a very cool moment for 
everybody else who owns the album... and, for another reason (the 
song being so great) for those who don't own the album but soon 
will.

  
:2.  I can't drive, okay?  Now give me my fucking cigarettes!  By 
:     John "I wish I had a cool nickname" Hague

   I think I liked this.  But I have once again waited too long to 
write my review.  
   Oh, wait, now I remember.  I did like this.
   BUT...  He delivered this monologue like stand-up comedy in 
more than one sense.  The most memorable?  He seemed like he was 
going for the audience interaction thing that stand-ups do and it 
seemed to be at least as unnatural.  He was telling the audience a 
funny happenstance.  Also, some punchlines that I might have 
laughed at otherwise were cheapened by the stand-up delivery style 
that says, "and that, dear audience was the punchline."
   But I did like it otherwise and it is strange to me that 
Nickname would use this delivery style, as, in my short time at No 
Shame, I have never seen him use it before.
   Also, if this is really a problem for him in real life, I'm 
sure he can get a non-drivers' ID without passing a driver's test.

:3.  Yet Another Title with the Word "Poop" in It.  By Al J. Angel
:     and Mark J. Hansen.

   It's true.  Al and Mark have the same voice at different 
pitches.  Or whatever.  I liked this.  I assumed that this was in 
response to Kyle's joint the week before.  I forgot to ask, but 
maybe it was a stupid question anyway.
   My favorite part?  Mark getting back into character by 
swearing.  My least favorite part?  Mark swearing.  It was funny, 
but I firmly agree with Jamal.  
   The previous week, Mark and I had thrown together a little 
something that didn't get into the order in which he swore like 
crazy, thinking that it would be funny for him to swear, because 
it is so out of character for him.  However, a koala bear eating a 
baby is also out of character, but is just as disturbing as it is 
funny.
   I did like it, though.

:4.  The Importance of Being Mike Rothschild.  By Mike Rothschild.

    I liked it.  I told him I did. And I meant it.  I meant that I 
liked it, which I did.
   It made me some laugh, which I used immediately.


:5.  The Observer.  By Willie Barbour.

   I'm starting to acquire a taste for Willie's stuff.  I didn't 
like the first thing I saw him do and, I think, had completely 
zoned out before the joint was halfway finished.  I definitely 
stayed in this one longer.
   I must admit that even this time my mind began to wander before 
the finish, more because I, undercultured and immature, have 
trouble with any less than a certain laugh/minute ratio, and can't 
handle anything more than just a little bit serious.


:6.  Knotty Pines, Part Four.  By Mark J. Hansen.  

   I like that Mark is funny.  No matter what Heather may say.
   I'm not sure that this one was better than part three, but it 
was by no means worse.
   I was in the first Knotty Pines, which was the least 
appreciated.  Coincidence?  I'm pretty sure.

:7.  The Story of Karen.  By Kyle Lange.

   A couple Kyle songs back, I decided to stop listening to the 
words and to concentrate on the guitar, which is always something 
special.  This arrangement seems to work for me and I have since 
become impressed.

:8.  Yer In the Golden Shower of Jesus' Love:  Santa Claus Pt. 2
:     by Nick Clark.

   I liked this joint and I laughed.  I liked "...thanks for not 
wiggling your dork" the best.  And not just because "dork" and 
"wiggling" are funny words

:9.  Pink Octopusususes or The Blatant Rip-Off Sketch:  An Homage.
:     by James Jamie Jimmy Jim Shamus Jaime Horak.

    I liked it, with a few reservations.  I don't like "Blatant 
Rip-Off" sketches in general.  "This joke/gag/routine/style has 
obviously been stolen from Comedic Legend Whom Everybody Wants to 
Be" as a punchline in itself HAS BEEN DONE.  And when concerning 
Monty Python, it has been done to death.  Even I, in another 
venue, have been found guilty of using this oh so unoriginal 
format, so I will forgive you.  Also because the entire thing 
wasn't based on it.  Also on account of the fact that I did a lot 
of laughing, regardless. 

:10. Accorting to David Harman, This Monologue is All About Sex.
:     by Adam Hahn.

   Finally, some monologue that the audience appreciate from Adam. 
 Maybe because he stopped with the gimmics?  Maybe because he 
focused on perversion?  Maybe because, they, as I, misunderstood 
the "slightly damp" joke and assumed he was sinking to their, as 
to my, level?
   Maybe because he was near bald?  Probably because he was near 
bald.

: 11. And Now, Ladies and Gentleman, For Your Viewing Pleasure, 
:    Life As Explained in a Series of Brief, Meaningful Sketches
:    Even This Audience Might Understand or Mommy, Where Does
:    Hamburger Come From?  By Arlen Lawson.

   Why was this the best joint of the night?  Who can say?  
Probably because it was written so well and not at all 
under rehearsed.

:12. Baby on Board.  By Christopher Okiishi.

   I liked it.  It made me think back to the first time that I was 
kidnapped.  And it made me remember how different it felt to 
finally be the one doing the kidnapping, the one worried about the 
cops, the one forcing the sex.
   Of course, Chris' monologue was about a different kind of 
kidnapping, but I think it touched the little part in each of us 
that remembers what it's like to be stolen from a mall.

:13. Is That an Earthquake in my Balls, or Am I Just Happy to See
:    You?  By Aaron Galbraith.

   I liked it.  No beefs.  No suggestions.  No absolutely 
uninformative and not at all constructive criticism.  No pointless 
antecdote.  I laughed, though.  I laughed hard.


:14. Judi Dench, Promiscuous Whore.  By Neil "Balls" Campbell.

   I liked it, but only in that, "This is just about the funniest 
thing I have ever seen and I mean that" kind of way.

:15. Dental Dam Over Good Taste.  By Chris Stangl.

   I also thought this was hilarious, start to finish.  Also, 
three dead babies on a chain do constitute the funniest thing 
possible.  I know from expereience.  But not my experience.

   

      And that's it.  I talked too long and no one had fun, but I 
think we all learned something about ourselves, today.  And that, 
like good hygiene and/or sugar cookies, is priceless.

Dr. Arlen Joseph Eben Evangel Lawson

Time: Tue, 26-Oct-1999 00:33:04 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.111


:13. Is That an Earthquake in my Balls, or Am I Just Happy to See
:    You?  By Aaron Galbraith.

   I liked it.  No beefs.  No suggestions.  No absolutely 
uninformative and not at all constructive criticism.  No 
pointless antecdote.  I laughed, though.  I laughed hard.


:14. Judi Dench, Promiscuous Whore.  By Neil "Balls" Campbell.

   I liked it, but only in that, "This is just about the funniest 
thing I have ever seen and I mean that" kind of way.

:15. Dental Dam Over Good Taste.  By Chris Stangl.

   I also thought this was hilarious, start to finish.  Also, 
three dead babies on a chain do constitute the funniest thing 
possible.  I know from expereience.  But not my experience.

      And that's it.  I talked too long and no one had fun, but I 
think we all learned something about ourselves, today.  And that, 
like good hygiene and/or sugar cookies, is priceless.

Dr. Arlen Joseph Eben Evangel Lawson III

Time: Tue, 26-Oct-1999 01:32:12 GMT     IP: 128.255.110.156

::Woops.  I don't know what I just did, but I posted a message 
::
:without posting a message.
::
:Anyway - the thing that was missing from No Shame this week is 
::
:that guy who wears plaid pants and Hawaiian shirts.  He cracks 
::
:me up.  Where'd he go?
:
:What, the rest of us aren't good enough for ya? 
:
:And by the way, no woman who comes to No Shame is stupid. Crazy, 
:yes. But not stupid.
:
:r

First of all - I didn't mean that everyone else isn't good enough.  
It's just that Mr. Cassady hits my funny bone.
Second of all - thanks for your vote of confidence in my 
intellect.  And yes - I am crazy.
-Random Female who loves everyone but prefers people who don't 
match

Time: Tue, 26-Oct-1999 01:38:32 GMT     IP: 128.255.110.156

:Anyway - the thing that was missing from No Shame this week is 
:that guy who wears plaid pants and Hawaiian shirts.  He cracks 
:me up.  Where'd he go?

:
:Jeez, Mike, you were in Gross Indecency.  Don't you remember?
:
Hey Al - Mike didn't write that.  Perhaps you think he's so full 
of himself that he would post such a thing hoping that others will 
agree with this "Random Female" and state their love for him, as 
they have done for Mark Hansen, and he could then read all their 
proclamations that he is the funniest man alive and begin to feel 
good about himself, but alas, he didn't do it.  I did.  So there.
-Random Female who needs a new nickname

Time: Tue, 26-Oct-1999 01:41:11 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.111

   Wow, Mike and I are in the board room at the same time!

Time: Tue, 26-Oct-1999 01:45:31 GMT     IP: 128.255.110.156

:    
:
:for the record....this is my first post on what you kids call the 
:"internet" in a long "time".
:
:i posted nothing about me or my wardrobe or my self-
glorification.
:
:i swear on your mothers grave al.
:
:who wrote that loving message?
:
:in no shame withdrawal,
:
:mike "no really im serious, I really didn't write it you anal 
:retentive, gerbil puss face asshole fuckers" cassady
:
:p.s. just kidding about the puss face part.

So, Mr. Cassady, are you coming back next week or what?  No Shame 
isn't the same without your color uncoordination...and your jokes 
are good, too.  "Your sail is torn and your whore is dead."  Ha!  
Good stuff.

Also - Mike R, what happened to that nifty jacket you always wore 
last year?

Time: Tue, 26-Oct-1999 04:24:13 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.111

   Chris Okiishi back?  Well, I am happy.
   I was letting this forum intimidate me for awhile, and now I 
am ashamed that I let a few No Shamers' opinions about what I'd 
written scare me off.
   The saddest part for me was when I thought I'd found someone 
to empathize with in Heather.  As much as I liked Mark Hansen 
and disagreed with her views, I thought her being attacked was 
reminiscent of my own experience, albeit hers was ten times 
greater than my own.  And then I found out that she didn't really 
have an experience at all, had never experienced anything... 
ever.  Was not a real person...
   Okay, let me say that Arlen Lawson is quickly becoming my 
favorite No Shame performer (and I'm not just saying that to get 
into his pants) and that his skit/skits this week was/were 
beautiful.  (Favorite line?  "You keep wondering, 'Is it 
chocolate?'"  Second favorite?  "Don't ever say that!")
There.  I've said it.  I hate to fan what's probably already an 
enormous ego, but I had to say it.
   Also, Neil Campbell is super happy terrific fun.  I laughed 
forever.  And it wasn't even his best skit.
   Chris -&- Jamal? Why don't they work together as much as they 
used to?  They've got that little thing that the locals like to 
call chemistry.  But it seems that Chris has invested most or all 
of his time into writing monologues, which, as impressive as they 
are, as absolutely and undeniably phenomenal as they are, just 
aren't as fun as the skits he used to write.  Also, Jamal seems 
to be pushing more toward monologues as well, though he'll 
include a character here and there to make it seem more like a 
skit.  Don't get me wrong.  I like them solo, and I liked the 
song Jamal played, but there was a time, last semester, when I 
came to No Shame to see Chris and Jamal.  Chris and Jamal 
together.  Chris and Jamal together, doing comedy sometimes three 
times a night when Mose Hayward or Alyssa Bowman would write a 
skit for them.
   Now, I see them each maybe once or twice a night, when they're 
invited into other skits.
   Monologues are not as fun!
   Monologues are not as fun!
   Escept when Dan does them.  Or Chris Okiishi.  Or a few 
others.

    I'm bored.  This whole post was masturbatory.  I didn't have 
anything to say, except that I have decided to start posting 
again.  So, long live the venomous and erroneous critic, huh?
 
                    Carl, the venomous and erroneous critic
                              ... and audience member

Time: Tue, 26-Oct-1999 05:23:05 GMT     IP: 152.163.232.31


   Monologues are not as fun!
:
   Monologues are not as fun!
:
   Escept when Dan does them.  Or Chris Okiishi...

Gotta get my hackles up about this one. I disagree in every way 
possible. I think monologues are more fun to write, more fun to 
see realized as a writer and more engaging to an audience, if 
performed with competence. Which is of course a mixed bag here at 
No Shame Theatre. You (and others) may have noticed I've been 
writing almost all monologues (poems count in this category) and 
I've been having my best semester, not to pull my own chain. I 
told people after Best of last semester that I wasn't going to 
write comedy sketches anymore because it was getting too damn 
easy and I wasn't engaged. So I've only written a few this 
semester, and they haven't gone over well. Monologues are great 
fun to see when they are well written and acted. Poorly written, 
they can be just as dreadful as a bad sketch or poem or anything.

I laud Stangl for ditching the poop jokes and going with a more 
performance based, self aware approach. Does it always work? No, 
but does anyone always work? Hell no. The poop jokes were old. 
Why is it "bad" for a performer to dump out their bag of tricks 
and leave their safe place to try something new? Do we always 
want the same people doing the same shit over and over? Should 
the Beatles have released "Hard Day's Night" 15 times? I'm 
rambling, but the point is that monologues are a much more 
efficent and personal way for a writer to collect the vomit of 
their head onto the page. And I think they are great fun.

innocent when I dream
Mike

ps. The crazy jacket is here, but I haven't worn it. Part of that 
whole "take me seriously as a performer and person" thing. It 
might come back though.

Time: Tue, 26-Oct-1999 16:48:27 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.2

:monologues are a much more 
:
efficent and personal way for a writer to collect the vomit of 
:
their head onto the page. And I think they are great fun.

No, Mikey! No! I agree with Carl! I like skits better, too. I 
haven't been writing them as much, though I don't know why. It 
wasn't a conscious decision. Next week, though, boy is it gonna 
be a skit. I means, I just get tired of looking at one person for 
5 minutes. Even if the monologue is good, it's just one person. I 
need more than that, man! I need a lot more! 
Yeah! "Skits"! "Sketches"! That's what I'm talking about!

-Jamal

Time: Tue, 26-Oct-1999 22:39:58 GMT     IP: 206.150.222.233

::Jeez, Mike, you were in Gross Indecency.  Don't you remember?

:Hey Al - Mike didn't write that.  I did.  So there.

:-Random Female who needs a new nickname


How about "Mike's Mother, or possibly Some Other Female Relative 
of Mike?"

Time: Tue, 26-Oct-1999 22:45:20 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.109

:Mike didn't write that.  Perhaps you think he's so full 
:of himself that he would post such a thing hoping that others 
will 
:agree with this "Random Female" and state their love for him


But I want to tell Mike how much I love him.  Please, random 
female, can I tell mr. cassady i think he's mega-swell just like 
you did?

Time: Wed, 27-Oct-1999 02:10:41 GMT     IP: 128.255.110.158

:::Jeez, Mike, you were in Gross Indecency.  Don't you remember?
:
::Hey Al - Mike didn't write that.  I did.  So there.
:
::-Random Female who needs a new nickname
:
:
:How about "Mike's Mother, or possibly Some Other Female Relative 
:of Mike?"

Nope.  Wrong again, Al.  I am of not Mike's Mother, as he is older 
than I and the sheer dynamics of that are impossible.  And I am of 
no other relation to him.  That is, of course, unless my dad got 
off his leash when we weren't paying attention.  Nice guesses, 
though.
-Yeah...that Random Female...

Time: Wed, 27-Oct-1999 02:14:59 GMT     IP: 128.255.110.158

::Mike didn't write that.  Perhaps you think he's so full 
::of himself that he would post such a thing hoping that others 
:will 
::agree with this "Random Female" and state their love for him
:
:
:But I want to tell Mike how much I love him.  Please, random 
:female, can I tell mr. cassady i think he's mega-swell just like 
:you did?
:
Nick - you go right ahead and tell Mike whatever you want to.  I'm 
sure he'd be receptive.  Everyone needs a litte love now and then.  
Go on and tell him how you feel......

Time: Wed, 27-Oct-1999 19:17:28 GMT     IP: 128.255.60.117

                       On Inside Jokes
               By your pal, young Chris Stangl

Some of you've been getting your rubber panties in a knot about 
the nature of inside jokes, their preponderance at No Shame, and 
if they're Good or Bad.  Especially on the ISCA, Thuiggfyer 
couldn't decide about their particular goodness or badness.  
Malkmus Hansen, Al Gel, Rothschild, all concerned or pleased 
about insideness of jokes.  Most have, predictably, decided that 
inside jokes are funny when they're on the inside track.  Here's 
how I view the particulars of the problem:
     There are more factors to an inside joke than the mere 
size of the community which can consider itself "in" on the in-
joke.  These are the aforementioned Breadth, the Seam and the 
Layers of the in-joke.  I don't wish to make quality judgement 
calls, but to propose some kind of useful (made-up!) vocabulary 
for discussing the In Joke phenomenon.
****
BREADTH:  Simply, population who will comprehend the joke 
at all.  This is actually a multi-part section.  There's the 
primary level- Getting It- and a secondary level of pleasure 
from the giddyness of being In On It, which is inversely 
proportional to the breadth.
Malkmark Hansen has pointed out Rothschild's Meisner joke from 
last week.  Since a large wad of the No Shame audience is 
theater majors, clearly a theater joke has a large breadth in 
this forum.  The Breadth was large enough that I doubt anyone 
was especially excited that they were being personally 
addressed, to the exclusion of the rest of the audience.  
Clearly, this joke has little-to-nothing to do with the 
proportion of audience In to Out.  I don't think this 
particularly qualifies as an inside joke, because of this.  
After all, the joke "What came out of John Lennon after Mark 
David Chapman shot him? Beatle-juice!" requires a working 
knowledge of Tim Burton movie titles and John Lennon band names, 
but_  What I'm saying is that the Meisner joke wasn't written as 
Inside, but for some of us morphed into one, not because of 
attempts to obscure, but because of data shortage no fault of 
Mr. Rothschild.
     The problem Thuiffo brought up was in regards to No 
Shame in-jokes, specifically Hansen/Angel and Rothschild's 
pieces last week:  The In audience is No Shame regulars.  He's 
arguing these pieces don't offer much in the way of pleasure for 
viewers outside of that population.  I say No, and direct 
Thuba's attention to Layers.
     The Secondary Breadth pleasure- being In On It- likewise 
doesn't really apply to No Shame In-Jokes_ since an appreciable 
percentage of the audience is familiar with Al Angel's 
compulsively swearing persona, they're not likely to be excited 
that they understand but nobody else does.
     A better example of the go-nowhere In Joke, drawing all 
its power from the joy of being part of a tiny Breadth was 
in "Artifice and Orifice," in which I made passing reference 
to "your Health teacher, Mrs. Kemp."  Whether they did or didn't 
find it funny, this was directed to approximately two people in 
the entire theater.  It didn't harm the piece because of the 
bitsy Seam.

LAYERS:   By which Breadth is mostly annihilated, because it's 
deepened.  I mean only that if you aren't In On It, the joke is 
constructed/ deposited so that everybody else has something to 
laugh at.  I direct your attention to Bungeroth/ Brooks' "Cubs 
Beat Yankees," inside material if such stuff ever existed, from 
overall plot to specific dialogue, props and characterizations_ 
but which boasted situations and jokes general enough to be 
funny anyway.
I was laughing during Chris Okiishi's "Baby On Board" mostly 
because of his queer reframing of "Raising Arizona," right down 
to revisionist tackling of specific dialogue ("her womb was a 
rocky place where my seed could find no purchase"), but clearly, 
based on website feedback, you didn't even have to vaguely 
understand the parody to enjoy the piece.
I remember discussing Rothschild's "Phantom Major" with A-mose 
Hayward, who has never seen "Star Wars," and had no idea 
whatsoever that he'd been watching a twenty minute 
parody.  "Star Wars" parody does not equal inside joke, 
naturally (it's hard to get less inside with pop culture 
references than "Star Wars"), but Haywangle was comprehending 
the In in on a layer which was roughly as amusing for himself as 
were the "Star Wars" jokes for the rest of the audience.  That 
was a terribly constructed sentence, but you dig.
Kehry Lane's "Hostile Word Association" contained the 
joke "Nipple Tassel Dance? Tom Green!," Breadth limited to 
www.noshame.org Board Room readers, but without further Layer.  
Laughs were accordingly small but appreciative.
     Mark has pointed out that my line on Friday, "Went home 
and vibrated for an hour" was an In Joke reference to the Don 
Knotts classic "Ghost and Mr. Chicken," and indeed the Knotts-
crazed Hansen laughed visibly harder than anybody else.  But "I 
went home and vibrated" is still funny for everyone who hasn't 
been infected by the joyful comedy-bug of Don "Nip it in the 
Bud" Knotts.

SEAM:     The integration of the joke into the surrounding 
material has a great deal to do with affecting its 
Layers.  "Baby On Board" did not announce itself as a "Raising 
Arizona" parody, and thus the audience- who may have been 
totally unfamiliar with the film- could draw whatever other 
inferences needed that they may make sense of the joke.  Tiny 
Seam.
     In my piece "The Shotgun Rules," I stopped the monologue 
dead in its tracks for a Dan Brooks joke.  This required that 
the audience was familiar with Brooks' performances in Lange and 
Bungeroth's pieces of the previous two weeks, as well as his 
outlandish nose.  And I mean Require, capital Re, because I 
broke character, stepped aside, and it made no diegetic sense 
for my 10-year-old self to be suddenly addressing the previously 
unacknowledged audience with a gag about events in 1999.  Huge 
stupid Seam_ but the clumsy stitchery was the axis of the joke 
(ie incongruity)_ but if you didn't have sufficient saturation 
in the Breadth, there was zero Layer for you to appreciate.
*****
     Misjudgments of all these dynamic factors are possible, 
complicating things.  Other complications are sometimes when 
jokes aren't funny.  Example: I named a character last week "Old 
Man Morgan," thinking of Harry Morgan, Col. Potter 
from "M*A*S*H," figuring it was an inside joke with myself-
only.  Now you know, and will laugh.  Go ahead.  "M*A*S*H" jokes 
are particularly problematic.
     Jamal made the best joke one time about Iowa, when some 
dialogue went "his best friend- Walter O'Reilly" and nobody 
laughed, though I paused, because I was expecting a big laugh.  
So I figured "whup, a two-man Breadth and no Layers, but luckily 
no Seam, so it's okay and we don't look like total goons."
     Nick Clark's now-infamous title "Bear Smegma has Chunks 
of Salmon In It" is a fine example of all these factors gone 
totally fucking awry.  So Seam-less, and with such miniscule 
(one-man, evidently) in Breadth was this that Nick had to TELL 
everyone it was an inside joke.  The second Layer is obvious, 
and funny, but all have grown to hate the once-hilarious joke 
upon revelation of the existence- but not content- of further 
Layers, and the possibility of pies which glint, ungraspable, on 
the horizon_ like the golden ring on the merry-go-round ring 
must look, to the child who has had her arms amputated.

Your Buggy (an inside joke?)-
Private Chris "Bondo" (inside joke) Stanglish (inside joke)

Time: Wed, 27-Oct-1999 19:20:00 GMT     IP: 128.255.60.117

     Nick Clark's now-infamous title "Bear Smegma has Chunks 
of Salmon In It" is a fine example of all these factors gone 
totally fucking awry.  So Seam-less, and with such miniscule 
(one-man, evidently) in Breadth was this that Nick had to TELL 
everyone it was an inside joke.  The second Layer is obvious, 
and funny, but all have grown to hate the once-hilarious joke 
upon revelation of the existence- but not content- of further 
Layers, and the possibility of pies which glint, ungraspable, on 
the horizon_ like the golden ring on the merry-go-round ring 
must look, to the child who has had her arms amputated.

The End!!!!!! The END!!!! THE END!!!!!!!!!!!

Your Buggy (an inside joke?)-
Private Chris "Bondo" (inside joke) Stanglish (inside joke)

Time: Wed, 27-Oct-1999 19:44:17 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.2

Your Buggy (an inside joke?)-
:
Private Chris "Bondo" (inside joke) Stanglish (inside joke)


Hee hee! I get it! And you all don't! I giggle with excitement! 
Hah... "Bondo"... Yeah...

Time: Wed, 27-Oct-1999 21:35:49 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.34

:    Nick Clark's now-infamous title "Bear Smegma has Chunks 
:of Salmon In It" is a fine example of all these factors gone 
:totally fucking awry.  So Seam-less, and with such miniscule 
:(one-man, evidently) in Breadth was this that Nick had to TELL 
:everyone it was an inside joke.  The second Layer is obvious, 
:and funny, but all have grown to hate the once-hilarious joke 
:upon revelation of the existence- but not content- of further 
:Layers, and the possibility of pies which glint, ungraspable, on 
:the horizon_ like the golden ring on the merry-go-round ring 
:must look, to the child who has had her arms amputated.

The first layer of meaning is not so much a joke as a riddle.  
Once the script is posted on this site, you all will get two more 
days to make a grab a the consolation pies, or to dare to venture 
for the big kahuna, a real, shiny full size pie with the delicious 
filling you crave.  Shiny golden pie ring. Yummy pie.  Get some 
pie.  Also.  Who cares if the second layer humor is wearing out?  
I'm offering PIE by way of reconciliation.  So far Okiishi leads 
the pack, though I feel he may have forefieted by demanding an 
answer prematurely.  Stangl and Erwin both claim consolation pies, 
though Erwin still hasn't told me what kind, and Stangl's request, 
cherry, is out of season and thus requires either frozen cherries 
or canned cherry pie filling.  Besides, it should have got SOME 
people guessing when the title didn't ostensibly referr to the 
piece.
love, pies, smegma, kisses,
Nicholsa Calkr

Time: Wed, 27-Oct-1999 21:48:11 GMT     IP: 205.188.192.179


Yeah, I agree with Chris on all these issues. So I ahve nothing to say. There is nothing here.

Mark 

P.S. Cool thingie. People (okay, Stangl) refer to me as Mark Malkamus Hansen. I had a dream
the other night that I took Steve Malkamus's place in a Pavement concert at my house!!! So cool!
What a great contest for those MTV folk, huh? 

Time: Fri, 29-Oct-1999 21:18:44 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.132

:15. Dental Dam Over Good Taste.  By Chris Stangl.

:im a little concerned that chris consistently disregards the 
:five minute rule

    I am too, especially since I hate- and regularly complain 
about- watching anybody else's piece that goes over, say, 3 
minutes.  Sometimes I have shown flagrant disinterest in the rule 
("Comedy is Funny" was a good 10 minutes, I'd wager), but "Good 
Taste" was roughly three pages double-spaced- far shorter than 
required. I'd wager "Taste" didn't run more than five minutes, 
though I wouldn't say the same for any other piece of the 
semester.
    I say all this despite the fact that I obviously am in 
regular, serious violation, and should be paddled bare-bottomed 
by every single member of the board (which has never threatened 
me directly- why?).

:id like to see him do some more sketches.

    Yeah, and I'd like to see Dan Brooks do more ballet, but he 
gave it up when I broke his ankle with a tenderizing mallet over 
a matter of five dollars.
    Everyone keeps saying this... Am I the only one who recalls 
that the audience pretty uniformly vehemently hated the 
overwhelming lion's-share of my sketches, and chastised me for 
them regularly?

               Your Windy Butty,
                 Christopee McStangler

Time: Fri, 29-Oct-1999 22:18:20 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.154

:Am I the only one who recalls 
:that the audience pretty uniformly vehemently hated the 
:overwhelming lion's-share of my sketches, and chastised me for 
:them regularly?

No...  but to each their own. :)

:the board (which has never threatened 
:me directly- why?).

I actually said something to you about time limits once in 
email--if that counts as "directly"--way back a million years ago 
when I was on the board.  (Or maybe it was in person after that 
one show where I was already talking to you about 
porn-pelleting.  Heh..)  But generally people lean toward not 
saying anything if they don't really 100% have to.  Why?  Some 
guesses:  The stricter you enforce the rules, the more you've 
gotta play strictly by them.  The more strong-armin' ya do, the 
more uptight the whole event seems.  And if Chris Stangl is doing 
cool stuff, why stop 'im?  Sure, less-than-five-minute cool stuff 
would be even better, but the five-minute rule has always showed 
at least SOME lenience toward quality work.

I speak from pure speculation and distant recollection of the 
past, however.  Let it not be said that I attempted to represent 
current board views.

Time: Fri, 29-Oct-1999 23:19:31 GMT     IP: 204.120.50.1

1 (completely unrelated): Go check out www.mcsweeneys.net.

2: Chris has never asked me to spank him, and I'm generally too 
shy to initiate this sort of behavior. That aside, Chris, you've 
only come down hard on the wrong side of five minutes a few times. 
You're trying, which is really the important part. 

James Erwin

"meddle not in the affairs of [the No Shame Board], for they are 
subtle and quick to anger."

Time: Fri, 29-Oct-1999 17:39:41 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.205


:1.  ...And some more Mose Hayward, please.  By Jamal River.

good song.  i wont gush because i bought the cd and have heard it 
before, but nonetheless it was still good and i enjoyed hearing 
again.  and the recorded accompaniment worked just fine for me.

:2.  I can't drive, okay?  Now give me my fucking cigarettes!  By 
:     John "I wish I had a cool nickname" Hague

some good stuff.  john seems to prosper best when he goes the 
stand-up route.  my favorites are "night at the fieldhouse" and 
"recessions of theatre b".  this was a little subpar compared to 
previous ones, possibly because of the injokes.

:3.  Yet Another Title with the Word "Poop" in It.  By Al J. Angel
:     and Mark J. Hansen.

i was very impressed with this piece.  and while the funniest part 
about it was the fact that they swapped styles, i dont think you 
have to have seen these two amazing fellas before to appreciate 
this one.

:4.  The Importance of Being Mike Rothschild.  By Mike Rothschild.

another of frothy's better works.  i very enjoyed the poem about 
his nuts, etc.  funny stuff.

:5.  The Observer.  By Willie Barbour.

mmmmm.  i dont know.  willie writes good stuff.  i can tell its 
well thought out, and if im not mistaken, almost all memorized, 
but it just doesnt do much for me.  i did like his "feast" 
monologue, though.  id like to see more of him so i can develop a 
better opinion.

:6.  Knotty Pines, Part Four.  By Mark J. Hansen.  

roy g. biv.  that was funny.  are we going to see a prequel to the 
knotty pines quadrilogy?

:7.  The Story of Karen.  By Kyle Lange.

nice song.  im glad people still do songs at no shame.  it mixes 
it up quite nicely.  hope kyle got some this weekend, he earned 
it.

:8.  Yer In the Golden Shower of Jesus' Love:  Santa Claus Pt. 2
:     by Nick Clark.

this was really funny.  i liked the character nick played too.  
nick has progressively impressed me more and more each time i see 
him.  id also like to add that "i call myself an up-and-comer 
every morning in the shower" was the funniest damn thing ive ever 
read on this website.  but maybe thats just because i do the same 
thing every morning.

:9.  Pink Octopusususes or The Blatant Rip-Off Sketch:  An Homage.
:     by James Jamie Jimmy Jim Shamus Jaime Horak.

i read this script more than a month ago and thought it was really 
funny.  it was still funny last friday, but why did i have to wait 
a goddamn month to see it?  quit drinking your life away and come 
to no shame more!!  you goddamn funny bastard!!!

:10. Accorting to David Harman, This Monologue is All About Sex.
:     by Adam Hahn.

wickedly funny, or maybe just wicked.  i like a lot.  i liked how 
he kept it semi-clean (except for the returning them slightly 
damp part) and just implied what he might do with the panties.  
and other things that kept it from being too dirty like the fact 
that they were fuzzy with flowers, rather than silk.  dont know if 
that was a conscious choice or not, but it worked for me.  very 
creepy ending that made me cringe with a smile.

:11. And Now, Ladies and Gentleman, For Your Viewing Pleasure, 
:    Life As Explained in a Series of Brief, Meaningful Sketches
:    Even This Audience Might Understand or Mommy, Where Does
:    Hamburger Come From?  By Arlen Lawson.

good stuff arlen.  i personally like my sketches a little more 
coherent, but i the bits and pieces were good.  and anything that 
gets stangl back into sketch format is good also, but ill get more 
into that later.

:12. Baby on Board.  By Christopher Okiishi.

i like.  chris has such a way of being sweet and innocent while 
speaking of such things as kidnapping small children.  great 
delivery as always, and really funny material.  great to have you 
back.  never leave again.  ever.  if i didnt see you at rehearsal 
for pippin, i would have been going into severe O'Kiishi 
withdrawal long ago.

:13. The Red Coat.  By John Patrick Shanley

this one had its moments, but overall i wasnt that impressed.  the 
one guy could have been a bit louder, and i couldnt even see the 
girls face, she was looking upstage so much.  you guys really 
could have afforded to practice this one a little bit better.  and 
the bit with the raccoon and the diaphragm was just a bit much.  
sorry guys but this was very tasteless and just plain dull.  

:14. Judi Dench, Promiscuous Whore.  By Neil "Balls" Campbell.

neil continues to prosper.  would somebody just give this guy his 
pullitzer already?  brad was awesome in this sketch, and i 
understand they didnt even practice it.  but why isnt brad writing 
 his own material?  huh?  whats your problem you funny little 
bitch?  what are you too busy?  too good for us, is that it?  
fucking prick.

:15. Dental Dam Over Good Taste.  By Chris Stangl.

this was incredibly funny and clever.  my favorite part was the 
crying.  getting the audience to give him that sympathetic 
"aaawww" was just magical.  im a little concerned that chris 
consistently disregards the five minute rule, but i personally 
wont complain as long as he puts up stuff like that.  the 
monologues hes been doing this year have been very good from week 
to week, but id like to see him do some more sketches.

i have spoken my piece.  peace.  pees.  pez.  bye.

Time: Sat, 30-Oct-1999 07:58:11 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.131

Time: Sat, 30-Oct-1999 08:11:14 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.131

1)  Mose Hayward is a Yellow Fellow by Jamal Ribba
2)  We've Got Your Family's Values in Sight by Aprille Clarke
3)  Who Wrote This Shit?  By Kyle Lange  -Oh.  (Thanks for the 
title Sarah!)
4)  The Spaces Between Words by David Harman
5)  I'm "Monkey-Huge" on You by Adam Hahn
6)  Six Angry Sketches by Markamus Hansen
7)  Brett Deckers:  Highly Excellent by Dan Brooks
8)  Son of Night Raid on the Planet of the 10 ft. Rabid Killer 
Chickens Returns and the Revenge of His Bride part II or Yet 
Another Pudding Sketch by Arlen Lawson
8)  Eat This Fat Monologue by Cash Money Rothschild
9.5) The Short Order Skit by Mike Schmidt
10) A Robust Sky Blue Something by James Horak and Jenna 
Zielinski
11) Things That Go Hump in the Night by Neil "Balls" Campbell
12) Part II  (writer unidentified, but did part one some weeks 
ago)
13) A Sonnet by Aaron Galbraith
14) Invisible Woman, Visible Uterus A Hallowe'en Story by Chris 
Stangl
14.5) Rub-A-Dub-Dub by Christopher Okiishi
15) An Ode to Mom by Mike Cassady ad Stubble Galbraith
16) Fifteen Reasons Why I Hate Little Children and Three Reasons 
Why I Love Their Mothers by Al Angel
17) Gun-Toting Corporate-Clad Clowns from Hell vs. the Christian 
Coalition by Don Deeley
18) A Song by Ben Schmidt

That's all folks!!

Time: Sat, 30-Oct-1999 17:17:59 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.172

"Why did I hate last night's show?" you might ask. "Cuz it was 
disgusting and long!" I might say. Mostly disgusting. I don't 
even think there were that many entirely awful pieces, but ALL 
the pieces (practically all) were like, "You cum licking ear-
fucker! Hah! Hah! You... get cum all over and lick it! ...And 
then fuck an ear!" They weren't even jokes, just icky examples 
of laugh-at-this-because-it's-so-outrageously-grotty humor. And 
though a couple of those a night can be genuinely funny, a two 
hour cum joke is 1 hour and 59 minutes too long.

Of course, this is the third No Shame in a row that I haven't 
liked that well, so perhaps the real story is that I need a 
break (I had a nightmare last night that I was trapped at the 
Mill with the No Shame gang till 4 am). However, I really do 
think last night's show was pointlessly, tiringly, repulsively 
disgusting for the sake of being disgusting. I realize that 
putting the most vile sexual acts you can conjur up in all the 
spots where you couldn't think of a joke might SEEM like a fool 
proof plan, but it wears thin.

And also, what's with all the homophobic jokes at No Shame? Al- 
"At least I didn't turn out to be a raging homosexual!" How is 
that a joke? Was it supposed to be subtly ironic? Pro'lly not. 
"So-and-so is sodomizing Other-so-and-so! Hee hee! Oh the 
inherent comedic value!" That's funny? How do you figure?

BLah.

That said, let me just list my favorite pieces of the evening:

1st prize goes to Mark Hanson. I really enjoyed that skit. I 
hadn't read most of it (just the parts I was in) and I loved it. 
It was totally grand-funny. Good job, Mork!

2nd goes to Neil. This had people saying foul things as well as 
a bunch of gay jokes. I thought it was very funny. Leave me 
alone. 

3rd goes to Stangl's scary story. It was well written and funny 
and everything. Cuz Stangl is a funny, well writing kinda guy.

And that's all I have to say right now. Sploff. No Shame is 
gross.

-River.  

Time: Sat, 30-Oct-1999 19:33:38 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.113

:1)  Mose Hayward is a Yellow Fellow by Jamal Ribba
:2)  We've Got Your Family's Values in Sight by Aprille Clarke
:3)  Who Wrote This Shit?  By Kyle Lange  -Oh.  (Thanks for the 
:title Sarah!)
:4)  The Spaces Between Words by David Harman
:5)  I'm "Monkey-Huge" on You by Adam Hahn
:6)  Six Angry Sketches by Markamus Hansen
:7)  Brett Deckers:  Highly Excellent by Dan Brooks
:8)  Son of Night Raid on the Planet of the 10 ft. Rabid Killer 
:Chickens Returns and the Revenge of His Bride part II or Yet 
:Another Pudding Sketch by Arlen Lawson
:8)  Eat This Fat Monologue by Cash Money Rothschild
:9.5) The Short Order Skit by Mike Schmidt
:10) A Robust Sky Blue Something by James Horak and Jenna 
:Zielinski
:11) Things That Go Hump in the Night by Neil "Balls" Campbell
:12) Part II  (writer unidentified, but did part one some weeks 
:ago)
:13) A Sonnet by Aaron Galbraith
:14) Invisible Woman, Visible Uterus A Hallowe'en Story by Chris 
:Stangl
:14.5) Rub-A-Dub-Dub by Christopher Okiishi
:15) An Ode to Mom by Mike Cassady ad Stubble Galbraith
:16) Fifteen Reasons Why I Hate Little Children and Three Reasons 
:Why I Love Their Mothers by Al Angel
:17) Gun-Toting Corporate-Clad Clowns from Hell vs. the Christian 
:Coalition by Don Deeley
:18) A Song by Ben Schmidt
:
:That's all folks!!

Yeah, last night was really somethin'.  I agree that Mark's piece 
rocked the house--my favorite piece of his yet, though that may be 
recency effect speaking.  And Rev. Stangl's excellent character 
and accent and imagery and funniness were excellent and funny.

As for all the gay stuff, in case anyone was wondering "how would 
that make a gay person feel?", well, it was generally so cheap it 
was impossible to be offended.  But what an overdose.  "Gay = 
funny" is a finite equation.  Of course, some of it WAS funny.

I also must put in a good word for Brett Deckers--he used to word 
cum more than anyone else, but that was a great piece.

Oh, and I did have a special reason for appreciating the 
overworked gay theme; the guy behind me said "I think I'm gonna 
puke" during Chris Okiishi's piece about the massage; so even 
after the gay stuff got really tired, I still got to appreciate 
how much it was grating on the nerves of the fella behind me.

How's that for subjective?

-Adam

Time: Sat, 30-Oct-1999 19:59:45 GMT     IP: 206.150.222.207

Hello all.  This is my second week doing the review, and let me 
tell you, I have got some serious review for y'all.

1)  Mose Hayward is a Yellow Fellow by Jamal Ribba
I don't really remember this, although I have tried.  That 
genreally means that a)it didn't suck so badly that I hated it, 
and b)it wasn't really that good.  I dunno.  I generally enjoy 
Jamal's stuff, but I guess this just didn't do that much for me.

2)  We've Got Your Family's Values in Sight by Aprille Clarke
NAMBLA is always funny.  The rest of this skit wasn't.  Why not?  
Why aren't plastic cups funny?

3)  Who Wrote This Shit?  By Kyle Lange  -Oh.  (Thanks for the 
title Sarah!)
I liked this one.  It was short and to the point, which made it a 
great counterpoint to the previous piece, which took too long to 
set up jokes that weren't worth the wait.

4)  The Spaces Between Words by David Harman
Sorry.  Didn't like.  I never really cared for the poems that just 
list stuff.  It always feels like the writer is covering a lack of 
ability with a bunch of related words that are only there to take 
up space.

5)  I'm "Monkey-Huge" on You by Adam Hahn
It was okay.  The writing was good and, well, sweet, but I just 
couldn't get into it.  It was lacking a certain umph.  If you know 
what that means.  Which I'm sure you don't.

6)  Six Angry Sketches by Markamus Hansen
Mark does another wonderful job.  I absolutely loved this.  It 
gave me the most well-earned and honest laughs of the night.

7)  Brett Deckers:  Highly Excellent by Dan Brooks
This, too, was quite good.  Great character, many great lines.  
Good intensity throughout.  One of my favorite Brooks pieces yet.

8)  Son of Night Raid on the Planet of the 10 ft. Rabid Killer 
Chickens Returns and the Revenge of His Bride part II or Yet 
Another Pudding Sketch by Arlen Lawson
Somehow, this was funnier when Arlen read it too me than when I 
saw it onstage.  I supppose the reason was that when he read it ro 
me, it was one writer talking to another.  The performance was 
another environment with a completely different vibe.  Also, I 
think that my favorite line (what a horrible way to end a 
sketch)was somehow delivered in such a way as to render it a great 
deal less funny that it really is.  Delivering it from the 
audience just didn't seem to work.

8)  Eat This Fat Monologue by Cash Money Rothschild
This was not up to the quality I've come to expect from Mike.  The 
set up was too long for the jokes, which were funny, to reach 
thier full potential.  Still, not too bad.

9.5) The Short Order Skit by Mike Schmidt
This was great.  You all are stupid for not laughing.  I thought 
it was hilarious.

10) A Robust Sky Blue Something by James Horak and Jenna 
Zielinski
Becaue I like to hear the pelvis crack!  That was funny!  I liked 
this one much (yes, I am aware of the bad grammer in the previous 
statement).

11) Things That Go Hump in the Night by Neil "Balls" Campbell
I was too busy trying not to drop Kelly on the ground and kill her 
to a) act very well or b) really enjoy this one.  Still, Neil is a 
genius and I don't think I need to say anything else.

12) Part II  (writer unidentified, but did part one some weeks 
ago)
Jesus, this was fantastic.  Who is this guy?  And why wasn't Part 
One this good?  I think maybe it's because Brad is the coolest guy 
in the world and brought the piece to life, or maybe the writing 
was just better.  It wasn't as sloppy, that's for sure.  I can't 
wait for part three.

13) A Sonnet by Aaron Galbraith
It was funny.  It was over when the joke was over.  A lot of 
people can learn from that.

14) Invisible Woman, Visible Uterus A Hallowe'en Story by Chris 
Stangl
I liked.  The use of the word potatoeeee was great.  Wasn't my 
favorite, but still really good.

14.5) Rub-A-Dub-Dub by Christopher Okiishi
Take review for #14, and remove the potato sentence.

15) An Ode to Mom by Mike Cassady ad Stubble Galbraith
I didn't get to see it, 'cause I was running around the theatre 
building or beating up people onstage while it was happening.  
Still, I had fun.

16) Fifteen Reasons Why I Hate Little Children and Three Reasons 
Why I Love Their Mothers by Al Angel
Okay, here it goes.  To everyone who was not in my sketch and was 
not one of a certain two people in the audience (you know who you 
are): You are all a bunch of retarded, idiotic stupic fucking 
morons and I hate all of you.  If any of you had a brain, you'd 
have been laughing your asses off the whole time.  Now, all of the 
stupid fuckos are thinking, "what?  I was supposed to laugh at all 
the gross stuff in this piece?  It was gross!"  You dumb assholes! 
 How the fuck did you even get into college (assuming you are in 
college)?!  All of the gross lines/actions I wrote were not the 
punchlines, but setups to insanely funny, non-gross, subtle jokes! 
 These jokes are not very hard to understand, assuming you have 
the brain capacity of, at least, a cabbage!  This was a 
masterpiece of comedy (look masterpiece up in a dictionary, and 
you'll see that, according to it's definition, I am not puffing 
myself up like an ego maniac) that was wasted on an audience with 
the combined IQ of a toilet!  If all you could say after piece was 
"that was disgusting," then you are a moron.  So.  You don't like 
the subtle stuff, huh?  So complex for you that you have to fucos 
on the superficial offensive stuff?  Fine!  I will never ever do 
something subtle or intellectually funny at No Shame ever again!  
Fuck you!  Fuck all of you!  I'm going to take my intellihence and 
wit to a forum where it will be appreciated, and I'll just give 
you shits nothing but dick, shit, and violence jokes, since that's 
all you can handle.  You artless philistines make me so fucking 
angry.  Fuck you all!
Also, I would like to give my cast a heartfelt thanks.  You guys 
were great and put up with all the shit I made you do.  I love you 
guys!

17) Gun-Toting Corporate-Clad Clowns from Hell vs. the Christian 
Coalition by Don Deeley
You know what?  I wasn't joking when I said the greeks are cooler 
than us, and that our animosity towards them is born out of 
jealousy.  According to our culture, frats are cool, and we are 
geeks.  And guess what, there really was a point behind me doing a 
monologue about this FACT.  It is this: stop doing the fucking 
frat jokes.  They aren't funny.  When you put the fratties down, 
all you're really doing is exposing your envy for something as 
stupid and shallow as being "cool."  Thus, you expose yourself to 
be the shallow person you really are.  So stop!  Let this stupid 
fixation go and stop making these stupid jokes.

18) A Song by Ben Schmidt
I have actually heard it before.  So what?  I love this song.  
What is it called, again?  This song is probably my favorite of 
Ben Schmidt's, and I really glad he came and ended the show.

Overall, an interesting night.  Several gems, three master works 
(mine and two others that many of you probably also didn't 
understand), but also a bit of crap.  And it was long.  However, I 
feel good about it, mostly.

Love and kisses (and painful death to those whom I adressed 
earlier),
--Aly Waly Angel face.

Time: Sat, 30-Oct-1999 20:02:56 GMT     IP: 206.150.222.207

Overall, an interesting night.  Several gems, three master works 
(mine and two others that many of you probably also didn't 
understand), but also a bit of crap.  And it was long.  However, 
I feel good about it, mostly.

Love and kisses (and painful death to those whom I adressed 
earlier),
--Aly Waly Angel face.

Time: Sat, 30-Oct-1999 21:26:10 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.4

last show i missed i had no good excuse. I was just frustrated that I hadhad pushed
myself to have my script printed out by 10, raced to the theater building (rather th than stastaying
home and working on my Shakespeare paper like a good little monkey) and nd then I didn't even
make the order.  This week I missed because I was as sick as something really sick.
I don't think my computer's working.  i bet everything's gibberish.
this week ther were TWENTY PIECES!!!! why couldn't they do that the night I had that
Shakespeare paper?
Stuff i wish i'd saw- Arlen's new giant chicken thing, Al's subtlety,
Stangl's piece with an accent, Jamal and Mark caus I always love stuff by Jamal and Mark.
Alas.

Time: Sat, 30-Oct-1999 22:26:35 GMT     IP: 205.160.208.71

:As for all the gay stuff, in case anyone was wondering "how would 
:that make a gay person feel?", well, it was generally so cheap it 
:was impossible to be offended.  But what an overdose.  "Gay = 
:funny" is a finite equation.  Of course, some of it WAS funny.

:-Adam

I once wrote a sketch about abortion, but it was so ridiculous 
that it would be hard to be offended.  I think.  I thought that 
would also be the case with the sketch I wrote last night, but 
reading over the script just now, and thinking back to last night, 
I did use some cheap gay jokes.

Sorry 'bout that.  Of course, I should have realized it before it 
was performed, not after.  What makes it even worse is that it 
came on a night overloaded with gay humor.    

If anyone ever finds something I've done to be offensive, just 
realize I love you all.  Except for Mike Cassady.  I want him 
dead.

--Balls   

Time: Sat, 30-Oct-1999 22:44:15 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.113

:16) Fifteen Reasons Why I Hate Little Children and Three Reasons 
:Why I Love Their Mothers by Al Angel
:Okay, here it goes.  To everyone who was not in my sketch and was 
:not one of a certain two people in the audience (you know who you 
:are): You are all a bunch of retarded, idiotic stupic fucking 
:morons and I hate all of you.

Not sure how serious you are, how much you're just venting, or 
what.  In any case, responses:

1) Let's say there were 150 people in the house.  Let's say 14 of 
those people were on stage, and then there are two audience 
members who apparently "got it."  I'm a little behind on sleep, 
but I think that works out to 134 people who "didn't get it."  If 
only about one tenth of one percent of the audience understands a 
piece, that can't be entirely the audience's doing.  Other factors 
must be involved.  For example:

2) Some things are more difficult to get across after a lot 
of other pieces have been performed and a certain lateness of hour 
has arrived.

3) Visual distractions can easily overwhelm dialogue.  There were 
numerous possible focal points on stage after a while, and they 
weren't necessarily the people who were delivering The Message.

However...

4) ...Chris Stangl's expression as he humped Cody for what seemed 
like several minutes (probably just about sixty seconds, but it's 
all so subjective) made it all worthwhile, regardless of whatever 
else I didn't catch.

If you're concerned about having brilliance acknowledged, you 
could always submit your script to the archives so we brainless 
(etc. etc.) people might have an opportunity to catch a clue..

-Adam

Time: Sun, 31-Oct-1999 00:04:14 GMT     IP: 205.188.192.56

LAST NIGHT:

1)  Mose Hayward is a Yellow Fellow by Jamal River
Just like Al, I have forgotten this piece. I am sorry, but I 
can't remember a damn thing about it. 
Jamal, I give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it was 
good.

2)  We've Got Your Family's Values in Sight by Aprille Clarke
I don't think this one was too long at all. Dug the premise, dug 
the jokes, dug the third nipple idea.

3)  Who Wrote This Shit?  By Kyle Lange  -Oh.
This one was good for a laugh, and it kept the pace of the show 
moving. Someday I hope to have the balls to use my precious spot 
in The Order for something so short.

4)  The Spaces Between Words by David Harman
I read this one beforehand, and it was better on paper. I didn't 
entirely get it when I read it, but it was better on paper.
David is (from what little I know) a fine poet, but this piece 
just wasn't written for a No Shame audience.
I would, however, like to thank him for killing some of the humor 
in the room so there was less expectation on me to be funny.

5)  I'm "Monkey-Huge" on You by Adam Hahn
I know what you mean, Al, it lacked umph.
I'm curious, what did anyone else think? Did it work?
(Notice, I keep my comments brief, I don't blame the audience if 
they don't get it, I don't swear, I open myself to criticism. Can 
some angry "angelic" young man learn from my example? Can he?)

6)  Six Angry Sketches by Markamus Hansen
Beautiful things: Aprille and Chris whining at each other, Jamal 
on the table with the ukelele, Mark writing roles and not taking 
any for himself. (not that I don't like Mark on stage, but I 
would have ruined it by keeping stage-time for me, there's 
something to be said for a writer knowing when not to cast 
himself)

7)  Brett Deckers:  Highly Excellent by Dan Brooks
Highly Excellent piece, not much else to say about it.
(I was waiting for a chance to mention being a little weary of 
Dan's monologues, but I can't say that after this one.)

8)  Son of Night Raid on the Planet of the 10 ft. Rabid Killer 
Chickens Returns and the Revenge of His Bride part II or Yet 
Another Pudding Sketch by Arlen Lawson
My memory is foggy, is this the one in which Arlen made Galbraith 
complement him?
If so, I dug it.

8)  Eat This Fat Monologue by Mike Rothschild
The Machine? What the Hell?
This one just didn't do it for me, maybe because I can't stand 
Altoids.
I liked Galbraith as a belly dancer, (good voice, great for 
monologues, very deep for such a little guy) but it would have 
been better without Mike rubbing himself in the background.

9.5) The Short Order Skit by Mike Schmidt
It worked. No one realized how funny it was because they didn't 
have time to laugh.

10) A Robust Sky Blue Something by James Horak and Jenna 
Zielinski
More dead babies, homosexuality instead of a real punchline 
again.
Getting more and more tiresome, but this sketch still worked.
Pelvis crack- exactly as repulsive as it needed to be.

11) Things That Go Hump in the Night by Neil "Balls" Campbell
I laughed, but I was getting quite tired of so many gay jokes.
To Balls' credit, they were too outlandish to be truly offensive.

12) Part II 
I didn't get it. Not that I didn't like it, but I didn't really 
enjoy it either. Somewhere around part VII or part IX, I'll catch 
some faint glimmer of what's going on, and I'll hate myself for 
missing so much and not being able to remember all that had come 
before.
Of course, put Brad on stage in anything, and it's great.

13) A Sonnet by Aaron Galbraith
I could have sworn he gave us more than fourteen lines, but I 
forgive him. It was dirty, and it rhymed, and it was somehow 
different from the long series of pointless dirty jokes that 
dominate No Shame.

14) Invisible Woman, Visible Uterus A Hallowe'en Story by Chris 
Stangl
Just so the world knows the truth, CHRIS WAS READING HIS SCRIPT. 
He wasn't pretending to look at the book, he wasn't looking to a 
blank piece of paper that we were all supposed to think was a 
script, he actually ruined some old volume because he couldn't 
memorize his lines.
Of course, I've never memorized my monologues, so I can't really 
blame him.
The piece was brilliant and hilarious. Not a surprise, because 
Chris is brilliant and hilarious. I wish I could offer better 
criticism.

14.5) Rub-A-Dub-Dub by Christopher Okiishi
I love listening to Chris. Unlike most of the meaningless 
bullshit that goes on stage at No Shame, this piece (and "Baby On 
Board from last week) are funny without losing their humanity. 
Chris is incredibly honest and open in his writing, which is 
really hard, not to mention incredibly risky if it might be 
rejected by the audience.

15) An Ode to Mom by Mike Cassady and Stubble Galbraith
I felt like such an idiot, trying to pretend to beat on people 
while there were too many others in the way. 
How did it look from the audience?

16) Fifteen Reasons Why I Hate Little Children and Three Reasons 
Why I Love Their Mothers by Al Angel
We can all agree that there was too much crude gay humor last 
night. At this point, Al Angel was probably the only person on 
the face of the Earth that could make me laugh at a stage-wide 
homosexual orgy.
Did I pick up on a deeper intellectual meaning? No.
Was there one? I'm skeptical.
Did I enjoy it anyway? Yes, but I hope that Al does give us some 
more subtle humor in the future. I know he's got it in him 
somewhere.

17) Gun-Toting Corporate-Clad Clowns from Hell vs. the Christian 
Coalition by Don Deeley
Part of this one, as Al pointed out, was almost (notice I say 
almost, so Don can't cop out by calling in intentional) a parody 
of one of No Shame's overly recurring themes- rejected outsider 
frat-hating. As soon as Tommy Hilfiger was mentioned, I knew that 
it would become Abercrombie very, very quickly. Lo and behold, I 
was not dissapointed.
Still, I liked this piece. The underlying idea was great, and I 
loved the weatherman part. (If you didn't love the weatherman 
part, that was my fault for fucking it up on stage. I saw the 
script before it became tainted with my foul and nervous 
interpretation, and trust me, IT WAS BRILLIANT.)

18) A Song by Ben Schmidt
I didn't get pulled into this one.
Nothing against Ben, but, after a long night of pieces that would 
stop at nothing to get my attention, he was just too mell

Time: Sun, 31-Oct-1999 00:07:02 GMT     IP: 205.188.192.56

18) A Song by Ben Schmidt
I didn't get pulled into this one.
Nothing against Ben, but, after a long night of pieces that would 
stop at nothing to get my attention, he was just too mellow.

Time: Sun, 31-Oct-1999 00:57:08 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.163

:1)  Mose Hayward is a Yellow Fellow by Jamal River
:I have forgotten this piece

       ? ! Well Balls comes on and tries to pick people up at 
urinals. Then a character called Hapardurapa says "I found an 
hedge-apple on the elevator!" Arlen doesn't want it!!!!!!!

:Just so the world knows the truth, CHRIS WAS READING HIS SCRIPT

  I was indeed holding my script and referring to it regularly.  
Given the available time, the absurd prosiness of the text, 
number of other pieces I was in, and laziness of myself, 
difficulty of sustaining "Irish" accent and head cold, it seemed 
pointless.

:he actually ruined some old volume

   "Old volume" in question was a crappy French dictionary 
discarded from the Des Moines Public Library and rescued from 
their garage by me.  It was "ruined" my senior year of high 
school during a production of "The Tempest," in which my 18-year-
old self ripped dozens of pages out during Propero's reptentant 
line "I'll drown my book" and threw them at the audience.  It has 
served as my bedroom doorstop for over a year now, a far better 
life- multiple-time stage prop- than had it been thrown in some 
Des Moines dumpster.

:he couldn't memorize his lines

   Other monologues I "couldn't memorize" and for which I 
consulted scripts repeatedly: "Thomas Jefferson," "Broken 
Heart".  Scripts were in-hand and consulted more than twice 
during "Timothy Wilcox Letters" and "Involuntary," though there 
the script was really supposed to be hiding a noismaking 
firecracker thing that didn't work.
                          -Chris Spengler

Time: Sun, 31-Oct-1999 01:06:50 GMT     IP: 206.150.222.226

I open myself to criticism. Can 
some angry "angelic" young man learn from my example? Can he?

Fuck you, Adam.  I'm open to criticism.  "It was gross" does not 
count as cricism, and that's all I've been getting.  So fuck you.

--Al, the ever-present Angel

Time: Sun, 31-Oct-1999 01:18:05 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.124

:"Why did I hate last night's show?" 

      Cause it was mondo-fudging-nasty?

:"So-and-so is sodomizing Other-so-and-so! Hee hee! Oh the 
:inherent comedic value!" That's funny? How do you figure?

      How I figure is that at least that joke (by Mr. Deeley) 
WASN'T homophobic.  It wasn't FUNNY, granted, but Jerry Falwell 
and Newt Gingrich are notorious, dangerous and vile human beings, 
for numerous reasons, but mostly because of their notorious, 
dangerous and vile homophobia and their gaining positions of 
power because of, and in order to advance their policies of said 
homophobia.  That, come the apocalypse, Falwell and Gingrich 
should sodomize one another may not be particularly deft satire, 
it was, at least, an attempt at vindication, and not homophobic.
                   -Rev. Fart!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Post-Pee. Okay, Jama, reading over my shoulder, says "That's 
not the specific joke I was talking about" so fuck me, but you 
get how up on current events I am!!!!!!!!

Time: Sun, 31-Oct-1999 04:31:28 GMT     IP: 152.163.205.74

Did you read the part where I said I enjoyed the piece? Did you 
read the part where I said I thought you could do something better 
and more subtle?

Big Hug,
Adam

Time: Sun, 31-Oct-1999 08:15:20 GMT     IP: 205.188.200.49

1)  Mose Hayward is a Yellow Fellow by Jamal Ribba
The title of this piece is what made me laugh the hardest. But I thought it was all pretty funny. I
especially liked the part when my character was spooked by Neil and moved his urinal 3 steps
away.
2)  We've Got Your Family's Values in Sight by Aprille Clarke
One of Aprille's weaker ones. I agree the set-up was too long. 
3)  Who Wrote This Shit?  By Kyle Lange  -Oh. 
Short, funny. Reminiscent of those classic short sketches by the notorious George Anastasiou
4)  The Spaces Between Words by David Harman
I agree with Al, I don't like list poems, though there were a few moments I liked. I wish I could
remember, I think it went from a list of synonyms for sex into a list of car companies, which was
neat.
5)  I'm "Monkey-Huge" on You by Adam Hahn
What I liked about this was that the prose captured a moment that a majority of us can relate to,
the quiet moments in the dorm halls. And a very different twist on the old "I couldn't write
anything for tonight" routine.
6)  Six Angry Sketches by Markamus Hansen
My cast rocked! I was going to rewrite the skit, omitting the laughing sequence and replacing it
with something else, and I should have, but oh well.
7)  Brett Deckers:  Highly Excellent by Dan Brooks
A good monologue, a good character, still over-the-top grossness. If it would have been
performed any other night, I would've loved it. 
8)  Son of Night Raid on the Planet of the 10 ft. Rabid Killer 
Chickens Returns and the Revenge of His Bride part II or Yet 
Another Pudding Sketch by Arlen Lawson
This looked better on paper than it did on stage. I think Arlen didn't expect/hoped the audience
wouldn't answer his question at the beginning, and it threw him a little when they did.
8)  Eat This Fat Monologue by Cash Money Rothschild
I liked this better at the beginning, when I started to notice where he was going with it. Then , he
blatantly hit us on the head with the message, and directly attacked our dear controverisal
audience member. It should have been a much more subtly approached.
9.5) The Short Order Skit by Mike Schmidt
That was me who yelled order in this beautiful skit. 
10) A Robust Sky Blue Something by James Horak and Jenna 
Zielinski
Very clever premise killed by tired gags and over-the-top disgusting imagery. Though the Pelvis
Crack reversal thing was clever as well.
11) Things That Go Hump in the Night by Neil "Balls" Campbell
This piece was actually one of Neil's weaker ones, but by that I mean I didn't bust all my blood
vessels laughing, just a few. Neil's sketches are almost like comments on the other skits that use
the tactic of the sex joke or the disgusting imagery or offensive concept in that they are so absurd
in conception that you're not laughing at the fact that the monster is gay, but that the homophobic
monster said, Mashed potatoes to you!" in response to him. If that explanation made no sense at
all, you do not need glasses. 
12) Part II  (writer unidentified, but did part one some weeks 
ago)
I liked more parts of this than I did Part One, Brad was amazing in this. I also really like the
Gertrude Steinian prose passages. This would also probably look better on paper.
13) A Sonnet by Aaron Galbraith
The line I laughed at the hardest all night had the words "frankfurt insert," at the end of it. Good
God, that was funny. 
14) Invisible Woman, Visible Uterus A Hallowe'en Story by Chris 
Stangl
Again, not a favorite Stangl's of mine (and probably not a contender for best of due to its
Hallowe'en theme), but impressive accent, and he set the mood very well with the old book and
lights and such. I'm a stater of the obvious, but that really goes without being said.
14.5) Rub-A-Dub-Dub by Christopher Okiishi
Okiishi is excellent, we are good. That's all there is to it.
15) An Ode to Mom by Mike Cassady ad Stubble Galbraith
Funny idea, ran a little long and poor James stained his keen vest. 
16) Fifteen Reasons Why I Hate Little Children and Three Reasons 
Why I Love Their Mothers by Al Angel
My theory on why the audience didn't laugh that much: they were being hit with so much at once,
it was hard to compute all the information and then go, "oh yeah hahaha." Add to that every line
conjured up an image that no one wanted to see, you get little laugh factor. That having been said,
I also think that it ran out of steam a little early on. So much yuckiness is just wrong after a point,
but I think this is what H. Al Angel was going for. Perfect ending, too.
17) Gun-Toting Corporate-Clad Clowns from Hell vs. the Christian 
Coalition by Don Deeley
Again, as with Mike, the subtle approach would have brought a lot more to this. The jokes were
just too obvious, the target dead horse, etc. Something about this (I don't know what) reminded
me of the Firesign Theatre, whom I love. I think it was the clowns in the title.
18) A Song by Ben Schmidt
The second Schmidt in the order is the singing one, not the tape-recording one, and by this time, I
expected him to say something about gays, sodomy, smegma or fucking children. Don't we all
expect that from Ben Schmidt every now and then? Of course, he proved me wrong and sang
another great song. Ben Schmidt is a guaranteed perfect night-closer.

As far as what Jamal said about the night being too gross, I totally agree. It seemed like almost
every sketch traded actual jokes in for references to sodomy, cum, pedophilia, what have you.
Granted, this is No Shame, usually there are a lot of sketches revolving around this, but this night
had an unusually high amount. So, less of those would be better. Sorry about the stupidity of that
sentence, I've tried to put it other ways, and it just sounds so pretentious. So I'm done now.


Mark

Time: Sun, 31-Oct-1999 13:22:11 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.4

   Here is a joint-by-joint review of last Friday's show, a small 
piece of Arlen's mind, a hint to what he may have been thinking 
during each of your joints, or what might have come to him later, 
upon thinking back to your joint.


:1)  Mose Hayward is a Yellow Fellow by Jamal Ribba

   I liked and remembered this joint.  It may be a general rule 
that if you are in a joint you will like it more.  Maybe what from 
 reading it and not missing lines due to audience laughter or 
other things that could make you miss a joke or be distracted.  Or 
maybe, you just root for a joint if you're in it, like you would 
root for a sporting team that you were on even if it wasn't the 
best sporting team and even if you didn't understand a thing about 
sports and so shouldn't even dream of drawing comparisons.  In any 
case, I was in this, with no lines, but still got a script.  Also, 
none of this applies to Jamal's joint, which was a great and funny 
joint, and certainly would be considered the best sporting team.


:2)  We've Got Your Family's Values in Sight by Aprille Clarke

   Why did I think this was funny and well-written?  Because it 
was written by Aprille.  So, why was I still very disappointed?  
Because I've seen other Aprille.  

:3)  Who Wrote This Shit?  By Kyle Lange  -Oh.  (Thanks for the 
:title Sarah!)

   Why was the funny part the title?  Just because

   Also, I did like Kyle's performance change from really large to 
really small.  I was not fond of the really large, though.  Do the 
ends justify the means?  Well, of course they do.  Will I stop 
asking rhetorical questions now, for the love of Odin?  I'll sure 
as hell try

:4)  The Spaces Between Words by David Harman

   I have nothing constructive to say here.  But, as, for reasons 
unclear to me or to anybody I've conversed about this with, I 
should give an opinion, I did not like it.  And saying that alone 
does no good for anybody.  I think I'd like to hear some of 
Harman's non-list poetry to see if what Adam Hahn says is true.

:5)  I'm "Monkey-Huge" on You by Adam Hahn

   We-hell.  Speak of the devil.
   I always have a fondness for Adam's writing style, every time 
he does something at No Shame.  But, I am always distracted from 
this by the fact that, try as he might, I am never moved to feel 
something, as I think he alluded one of his intentions to be 
somewhere in this monologue.  He has made me laugh more than once, 
but never at a high enough rate that this would be labeled 
hispurpose  

:6)  Six Angry Sketches by Markamus Hansen

   I am very proud of Mark.  A very funny joint was this.  I was 
in it, too, but, once again, it would still have been wonderful 
without that bias.
   I am jealous that this ran so smoothly.  I used a similar 
structure last week and, with close to no rehearsal time, such was 
very evident.  Mark's piece, with as much if not less time, ran 
seamless. 

:7)  Brett Deckers:  Highly Excellent by Dan Brooks

   I liked this monologue, or at least what I caught of it.  I did 
begin to zone out a little, just coming out of Mark's and 
preparing for mine, and this seems a shame as what I did hear of 
it was wonderfully funny.
   I like for Dan to do one or many monologues.  Dan does some 
good monologue.

:8)  Son of Night Raid on the Planet of the 10 ft. Rabid Killer 
:Chickens Returns and the Revenge of His Bride part II or Yet 
:Another Pudding Sketch by Arlen Lawson

   Do not worry, Nick Clark.  The joint itself had nothing to do 
with 10 ft. Rabid Killer Chickens.  You did not miss anything.
   What I did not like about Nick Clark no being there was that 
Nick Clark told me he would put me in his piece this week and, I 
think, no disease in existence can excuse that not happening.

:9)  Eat This Fat Monologue by Cash Money Rothschild

   I liked this monologue because I got a mint.  Persons close to 
me were angry because they did not get mints.
   Was the "Carl" in reference to our online buddy?  I, dense, did 
not pick up on it but later it was pointed out to me.  If it was, 
I think it was a horrible joke.  While I disagree with some of 
Carl's opinions, there are times when he is very, very right.
   I did like the monologue.

:9.5) The Short Order Skit by Mike Schmidt

   I would like to point out that I did laugh very hard and very 
loud, to the point that I think my neighbors were embarassed for 
me.  I was so thoroughly amused by this that my fit of the giggles 
carried into... 

:10) A Robust Sky Blue Something by James Horak and Jenna 
:Zielinski

   ...which really didn't deserve it.
   As funny as a few of the lines were and as much as I laughed 
when I overheard Horak tell the pelvis crack joke last semester, I 
can not honestly say that I enjoyed this.

:11) Things That Go Hump in the Night by Neil "Balls" Campbell
   
   I laughed and laughed and laughed and didn't think that any of 
the jokes were attacking homosexuals or homosexuality.  Neil need 
not apologize.  If it seemed at all to be doing so, it was only 
because it was in there with a night of stuff that may very well 
have been.  The occasional jabs at the homosexual monster were 
funny in context, and the punchlines were funny for different 
reasons than they would have otherwise been, and for funnier, not 
at all homophobic reasons at that.

:12) Part II  (writer unidentified, but did part one some weeks 
:ago)

   Did I like this one?
   That was not a rhetorical question, this time.  This time I am 
asking myself, because I really can't be sure.  When I was 
watching it onstage and watching Brad be funny at parts, I was 
wondering if it was written to be funny and if I would have 
laughed had Brad not said it.  But, afterward, I heard the writer 
congratulating Brad and so I can onlt assume that they were meant 
to be funny.  Thinking back, maybe I should have just laughed when 
I thought I should have.
   Also, I'm glad that there was no Language I Don't Understand in 
this one, as there had been in Part I.  With no idea what he'd 
been saying it had just been pretty sounds to me.

:13) A Sonnet by Aaron Galbraith

   I don't know.  I thought I liked this at first (And maybe 
that's all that really matters) Also, I am impressed by what 
seemed to have been effort and I laughed at least as loud as Mark 
on the "...Frankfurt insert."  But looking back I'm just not sure 
this joint was funny

:14) Invisible Woman, Visible Uterus A Hallowe'en Story by Chris 
:Stangl

   Witness, ladies and gentleman, my first use of a smiley face 
formed by a colon and closing parenthesis  :)
   That is the first time I have ever done that... ever.  I'm not 
sure how much I like it, but I do know that I did like Chris' 
monologue.  
   I am agreein' with Carl that Chris ought to do some sketches, 
though and would like to point out that I always liked Chris' 
sketches.

:14.5) Rub-A-Dub-Dub by Christopher Okiishi

   Liked it.  I'd say more, but there's not much that comes to 
mind and I'm running out of steam.  A note to anybody who feels 
they must get a detailed review of their joint by Arlen Lawson: 
get your piece early in the order.  I do these sequentially

:15) An Ode to Mom by Mike Cassady ad Stubble Galbraith

   I didn't get to read this.  I didn't get to see it.  I did get 
to run around and I did like that (despite the fact that I jammed 
by thigh on a rail and now have a large bruise) but can only 
assume that this was good.  I remember being on my stage and 
thinking to myself, "You know, each audience member is probably 
choosing one member of this crowd to fixate on and those unlucky 
enough to have fixated on me are getting a pretty dull show, 
here."  (Pssst... I was just awkward and wasn't adding any sense 
of realism.)

:16) Fifteen Reasons Why I Hate Little Children and Three Reasons 
:Why I Love Their Mothers by Al Angel

   Okay, I read this on paper and, even with my horrible 
fill-in-what-details-there-are-left-to-be-filled imagination, I 
was not as horribly disg

Time: Sun, 31-Oct-1999 13:26:41 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.4

   I wrote a lot of stuff after that, but forgot to copy the 
entire text in case it was cut off.  Now, I am tired and don't 
feel like doing it again.  I said some pretty funny and helpful 
things, afterward, though.  You can be sure.  In any case, I am 
exhausted right now.  If I didn't get to you and you want my 
opinion, Email me.
   Al, ask me in person.


      Loving you all and willing to have sexual intercourse with 
some,
   Arlen Lawson

Time: Sun, 31-Oct-1999 15:25:24 GMT     IP: 152.163.197.58


:
:9)  Eat This Fat Monologue by Cash Money Rothschild
:

:
   I liked this monologue because I got a mint.  Persons close to 
:
me were angry because they did not get mints.
:
   Was the "Carl" in reference to our online buddy?  I, dense, did 
:
not pick up on it but later it was pointed out to me.  If it was, 
:
I think it was a horrible joke.  While I disagree with some of 
:
Carl's opinions, there are times when he is very, very right.



      Carl, if you're out there, the joke wasn't about you. 
Rothschild mentioned at Village Inn later that he realized too 
late he had named a character Carl and was afraid he might have 
unintentionally insulted you.
     Arlen would have known that if he hadn't refused to sit at 
the big table with the rest of us.

Time: Sun, 31-Oct-1999 15:25:29 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.4

Well, the script to "Bear Smegma has Chunks of Salmon in it" is finally posted.
Have a look at the script if you can't remember the skit, and maybe
you'll be able to guess the connection and win some PIE.

Time: Sun, 31-Oct-1999 22:42:45 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.122

:1)  Mose Hayward is a Yellow Fellow by Jamal Ribba
Urinals are funny. Urinals that move are even funnier. Nice to 
hear something other than a song. Not that I don't like songs, but 
I don't like songs every day.
:2)  We've Got Your Family's Values in Sight by Aprille Clarke
It's always about sex with you, eh Aprille? I was in this, so I 
can't really comment.
:3)  Who Wrote This Shit?  By Kyle Lange  -Oh.  (Thanks for the 
:title Sarah!)
Is that Sarah as in Sarah Greer, who is now offically too cool 
for No Shame? If it sucks so bad, then write better pieces. 
Anyway, I liked this. Wasn't heavy handed.
:4)  The Spaces Between Words by David Harman
Um...no. Been there, seen it. If have nothing to say, don't say 
it.
:5)  I'm "Monkey-Huge" on You by Adam Hahn
Adam pines for long distance girlfriend. Theme of 3 consecutive 
pieces? 
:6)  Six Angry Sketches by Markamus Hansen
Best piece of the night. Anger is awesome.
:7)  Brett Deckers:  Highly Excellent by Dan Brooks
Also best piece of the night. Dan needs to go for the throat more 
like this. I dug it.
:8)  Son of Night Raid on the Planet of the 10 ft. Rabid Killer 
:Chickens Returns and the Revenge of His Bride part II or Yet 
:Another Pudding Sketch by Arlen Lawson
Don't remember it.
:8)  Eat This Fat Monologue by Cash Money Rothschild
This was the product of writers block, having no time to write, 
and a tin of slightly stale altoids. I won't defend it or explain 
it. I wrote what I wrote. Also, the Shithead is Carl thing was not 
a reference to the Carl guy who writes all sorts of critcism but 
has never been on Stage to my knowledge, it was a creation of my 
own mind. By the way, you generalizing fuckers, I did not once use 
the words "cum" "skullfuck" "fuck" as in reference to a child or 
corpse or anal sex between men, though I did make a reference to 
sucking off a Doberman pincher, which I thought was funny.
:9.5) The Short Order Skit by Mike Schmidt
ha...short...order skit...ha.
:10) A Robust Sky Blue Something by James Horak and Jenna 
:Zielinski
Fucking children...funny? Sorry, no.
:11) Things That Go Hump in the Night by Neil "Balls" Campbell
Not neil's best work, but funny too.
:12) Part II  (writer unidentified, but did part one some weeks 
:ago)
I didn't get it. That's all I'll say.
:13) A Sonnet by Aaron Galbraith
Heh heh. ALF rules.
:14) Invisible Woman, Visible Uterus A Hallowe'en Story by Chris 
:Stangl
I don't what it was about this piece, but no matter how good it 
was, I just never got into it. It was good, though.
:14.5) Rub-A-Dub-Dub by Christopher Okiishi
Made me want a rubdown.
:15) An Ode to Mom by Mike Cassady ad Stubble Galbraith
I would have like to have seen this from the audience. I bet it 
looked good, though the end was really muddled.
:16) Fifteen Reasons Why I Hate Little Children and Three Reasons 
:Why I Love Their Mothers by Al Angel
My last dive into Jewish jokes for a long time. I've never seen 
anyone skull fucked on stage, thanks AL. Now I am complete.
:17) Gun-Toting Corporate-Clad Clowns from Hell vs. the Christian 
:Coalition by Don Deeley
Snore. Al's piece should have ended the show.
:18) A Song by Ben Schmidt
Another great song by Ben, but I was burned out by this point and 
didn't catch a lot of it.

This one passed quickly, even though it was so long. But like I 
said, I was pretty dead by the end. It wasn't a bad show, but it 
wasn't a particularly good one either. Audience pandering was at 
an all time high. Maybe people just need to take a break.

mike